Kuyini Ukukhulisa Ngokuqonda?

-Delile

• Kusho ukuthini ukuba ngumzali ngokwengqondo
• Izici ezibalulekile zokukhulisa ngokomqondo
• Izinzuzo zokuba ngumzali ocabangayo
• Izibonelo zokukhulisa ngokomqondo
• Ingane ngeke ilale?
• Ingane encane iphonsa isitolo esitolo?
• Ingane yenqaba ukudla?
• Umehluko nezinye izitayela zobuzali
• Ungaba kanjani umzali onengqondo
• Ukuthatha

Unabo abancane ekhaya? Uma uzizwa ungalawuleki futhi udinga ukuholwa okwengeziwe, awuwedwa.

Kepha phakathi kwazo zonke izingozi zamanzi, ukuvuka ekuseni ngovivi, ukushayisana kwezelamani, nokulinda kulayini wokulanda izingane zasenkulisa, masibe nethembekile - mhlawumbe unamandla amancane asele okufunda izincwadi zokukhulisa izingane ezigcwele.

Ngasikhathi sinye, ukucabanga yikho konke ukubhuza, futhi abanye abantu bakufaka kwifilosofi yabo yokuba ngumzali. Leli su eliwusizo lingase lingabi umqondo omubi kangako - ngakho-ke sizokunikeza irundown emfushane ngobuzali obunengqondo nokuthi kungani kungakuhle ukuthatha isikhashana ukuphefumula ngokuzayo lapho ubhekene nesimo esingaphezu kokukhungathekisa.

Kusho ukuthini ukuba ngumzali ngokwengqondo

Ngokwakho, ukucabanga kungumkhuba wokuphila okwamanje. Kusho ukuthi uyazi ukuthi ukuphi emhlabeni, ukuthi ucabangani, nokuthi uzizwa kanjani ngaphakathi nangaphandle.

Hhayi lokho kuphela, kepha ukucabangela kuphathelene nokubheka umhlaba - umhlaba wakho - ngokwahlulela okuncane nokwamukelwa okwengeziwe. Umqondo wokuletha ukuqwashisa ngomzuzu wamanje uyisisekelo sokuzindla kwamaBuddha, futhi ubulokhu usenziwa futhi wafundwa amakhulu eminyaka.

Umqondo wokukhumbula ukuba ngumzali ikakhulukazi ibilokhu ikhona kusukela lapho. Empeleni, kusebenza imigomo yokucabanga ezimeni eziningi emndenini wakho ezingazizwa zihlanya ngezikhathi ezithile.

Umgomo wokuletha ukucabanga kubuzali ukuphendula ngokucabangayo ekuziphatheni kwengane yakho noma ezenzweni zayo ngokumelana nokuphendula nje. Usebenzela ukwamukela ingane yakho, bese kuthi nawe uzitholele yona. Ukukhulisa ubuhlobo bakho ngale ndlela kungasiza ekuqiniseni isibopho sakho futhi kuholele kwezinye izinzuzo.

Lokhu akusho ukuthi ukuba ngumzali ocabangelayo ngaso sonke isikhathi kusho ukucabanga okuhle.

Sizokuvumela ungene emfihlakalweni encane - ukuba umzali ngeke kuze kukhanye ilanga futhi amamatheke futhi izingane zidle lokho okulungiselele isidlo sakusihlwa ngaphandle kwesikhalazo.

Esikhundleni salokho, kumayelana nokuzibandakanya impela kumzuzu wamanje futhi ungavumeli imizwa noma ukuhlukumezeka kusuka esikhathini esedlule noma esizayo kuzokonakalisa isipiliyoni sakho noma - okubaluleke kakhulu - ukusabela. Ungaqhubeka uphendule ngentukuthelo noma ngokukhungatheka, kepha kusuka endaweni enolwazi kunaleyo ezenzekelayo.

Izici ezibalulekile zokukhulisa ngokomqondo

Okuningi kwalokho ongakuthola kubhaliwe mayelana nokukhulisa abazali kugxila ezimfanelweni ezintathu eziyinhloko:

• ukuqaphela nokunaka umzuzu wamanje
• ukuzimisela nokuqonda indlela yokuziphatha
• isimo sengqondo - esingahluleli, esinesihawu, esamukelayo - ekuphenduleni

Konke lokhu kuzwakala kukuhle, kepha kusho ukuthini ngempela?

Ukuyidiliza nokuya phambili, imibono eminingi yokukhulisa izingane ibandakanya lokhu:

• Ukulalela. Lokhu kusho ngempela ukulalela nokubhekisisa ngokunaka kwakho konke. Lokhu kungathatha inani elikhulu lesineke nokuzilolonga. Futhi ukulalela kudlulela emvelweni. Thatha konke - okubonayo, ukuhogela, imisindo - okuzungeze wena nengane yakho.
• Ukwamukelwa okungenacala. Kusondela esimeni ngaphandle kokwahlulela ngemizwa yakho noma imizwa yengane yakho. Yini okulula kuyinto. Ukungabi nokwahlulela kuhlanganisa nokuyeka okulindelwe okungenangqondo enganeni yakho. Futhi, ekugcineni, yilokhu kwamukelwa kokuthi "kuyini" lokho kuyinjongo.
• Ukuqwashisa ngokomzwelo. Ukuletha ukuqwashisa ekuhlanganyeleni kobuzali kusuka kumzali kuye enganeni nasemuva. Ukwenza imodeli yokuqwashisa ngokomzwelo kubalulekile ekufundiseni ingane yakho ukwenza okufanayo. Kukhona njalo imizwa ethinta izimo, noma ngabe zakhiwa kudala noma ziyedlula.
• Ukuzilawula. Lokhu kusho ukungavumeli imizwa yakho ibangele ukusabela okusheshayo, njengokumemeza noma ezinye izinto ezizenzakalelayo. Ngamafuphi: Kucabanga ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo ukugwema ukwenza ngokweqile.
• Ububele. Futhi, ungahle ungavumelani nezenzo noma imicabango yengane yakho, kepha ukuba ngumzali okucabangayo kukhuthaza abazali ukuthi babe nozwelo. Lokhu kuhilela ukuba nozwelo nokuqonda isikhundla sengane okwamanje. Ububele budlulela nakumzali, njengoba ekugcineni kuba nokuncane ukuzisola uma isimo singahambi njengoba ubulindele.

Okuhlobene: Isizukulwane snap: Ukuba ngumzali njengochwepheshe esikhathini sedijithali

Izinzuzo zokuba ngumzali ocabangayo

Kunenqwaba yezifundo ezibheke izinzuzo ezingaba khona ezihlobene nokucabanga nokuba ngumzali kwengqondo. Kubazali, lezi zinzuzo zingafaka ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka kanye nokuphazamiseka kwemizwelo, njengokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka.

Omunye omncane waze wahlola lezi zinzuzo kwabesifazane abakhulelwe ku-trimester yabo yesithathu. (Yebo! Ungazuza ngaphambi kokuba umzali aqale ngempela!) Abesifazane abenza ukucabanga babe nokukhathazeka okuncane kakhulu futhi babika izimo ezimbalwa zemizwa engemihle.

Omunye futhi wakhombisa ukuthi le nzuzo ingadlulela enhlalakahleni ephelele yabazali nomndeni. Kanjani? Ukungeza ukuqeqeshwa kwengqondo ohlelweni olukhona lokuba ngumzali kubonakale kuqinisa ubudlelwane bomzali nengane.

Kulolu cwaningo oluthile, kwakungezikhathi zobusha, lapho izinto zingaba neziyaluyalu ikakhulukazi. Abaphenyi babelana ngokuthi ukuthuthuka kungahle kube ngenxa yekhono lomzali "lokuphendula ngokwakhayo" kwizingcindezi njengoba zivela ziphikisana nokusabela futhi kungahle kuhlukanise ingane yabo.

Ezinganeni, ukukhulisa izingane ngengqondo kungasiza ekwenzeni izinqumo zomphakathi. muva nje uveze isixhumanisi sokwenza izinqumo nokulawulwa ngokomzwelo. Ngakho-ke, ukuqonda nokwamukela imizwa ekhuthazwa yilolu hlobo lobuzali kungasiza izingane ukuthi zisebenze kuleli khono elibalulekile lempilo zisencane kakhulu.

Ukukhulisa izingane ngengqondo kunganciphisa nokuphathwa kabi, njengokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba. I-A ikhombise ukwehliswa kokuhlukunyezwa kwezingane phakathi kwabazali abasebenzisa amasu ahlukene wokucabanga. Akugcinanga lapho, kodwa nezimo zokukhulisa izingane nazo zithuthukile. Kanjalo nezinkinga zokuziphatha kwengane. Kuyinto yokuwina-win-win.

Okunye okungenzeka:

• kuthuthukisa ukuxhumana komzali nengane
• kunciphisa izimpawu zokungasebenzi kahle
• kuthuthukisa ukwaneliseka kobuzali
• kunciphisa ulaka
• yehlisa imizwa yokudangala
• kunciphisa ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka
• ikhuthaza ukubandakanyeka kwabazali kukonke
• kwenza ukuba ngumzali kube sengathi kuthatha umzamo omncane

Okuhlobene: Yini ofuna ukuyazi ngokuba ngumzali?

Izibonelo zokukhulisa ngokomqondo

Ngakho-ke ukubukeka komzali okucabangayo kubukeka kanjani esenzweni? Bheka lezi zibonelo zokuthi ingayithinta kanjani indlela yakho yokubhekana nezinselelo zokuba ngumzali.

Ingane ngeke ilale?

Thatha isikhashana uphefumule. Ungathola imicabango yakho izulazula kubo bonke ubusuku obudlule lapho omncane wakho emelana nokulala. Ungakhathazeka ukuthi ngeke baphinde balale - noma ukuthi awusoze waba nesikhathi sabantu abadala wedwa. Imizwelo yakho ingahle iqhume. Kepha, futhi, phefumula. Ukulesi. Futhi unakho lokhu.

Misa isikhashana ukuze uqonde imizwa yakho, konke okujwayelekile. Ingabe uzizwa uthukuthele noma ukhungathekile? Vuma lokhu ngaphandle kokwahlulela wena. Misa isikhashana futhi ukuze uqonde futhi wamukele ukuthi izingane eziningi zinenkinga yokulala ubusuku bonke nokuthi lobu busuku abusho konke ubusuku impilo yonke.

Ingane encane iphonsa isitolo esitolo?

Bheka nxazonke. Ngenkathi isimilo sabo singazizwa sinamahloni noma sidala eminye imizwa engemihle, yiba okwamanje.

Uma uqalaza, uzobona lokho kanye nabantu ongabazi okungenzeka ukuthi ukubheka kwabo kukucindezele (ungabanaki!), kunezilingo eziningi enganeni yakho esitolo. Mhlawumbe bafuna ithoyizi elithile noma uswidi. Mhlawumbe bakhathele kusukela ngosuku lokuthenga noma balahlekelwe ukulala.

Ngaphambi kokubamba omncane wakho uphume esitolo, zama ukubuka impande yalokho okwenzekayo. Yamukela ukuthi izingane zingaphuma ekulawuleni uma kunezinto ezihilelekile ezihilelekile noma lapho sezikhathele ngokweqile. Yamukela ukuthi kungenzeka babhekene nemizwa yabo emikhulu emihle kakhulu. Futhi wamukele ukuthi ngenkathi abantu ongabazi bengabuka, ingane yakho ayizami ukukuphoxa. (Kodwa, cha. Lokhu akusho ukuthi udinga ukuthenga lelo dololi elikhulumayo lamaRandi ayikhulu.)

Ingane yenqaba ukudla?

Izingane ezisanda kuzalwa zivame ukuncela ngentshiseko ubisi lwebele noma ubisi lwefomula njengokuthi luphelelwe isitayela. Kepha ngesikhathi esithile - futhi kwenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu ekugcineni - ingane yakho izokwenqaba ukudla lokho kudla okumnandi okuphekwe ekhaya okwenzile. Futhi isilingo sakho kuzoba ukusithatha uqobo, futhi, usabele.

Esikhundleni salokho, phefumula kanzima, uzikhumbuze ukuthi ungumpheki onekhono, futhi ucabangele ukuthi ingane yakho ingazizwa kanjani. Mhlawumbe bazizwa bekhathazekile ngenxa yokunambitheka okusha noma ukuthungwa. Mhlawumbe bakhumbula isikhathi ukudla kombala othile kwabagulisa futhi manje bahlobanisa konke ukudla kwalowo mbala nokugula. Ukuhlekisa? Hhayi kumuntu omusha odlayo.

Ngemuva kokuthi ungene ezicathulweni zabo futhi wacabanga ngalesi simo ngozwela, xoxa nabo ngalokho abazizwayo nokuthi kungani badinga ukudla. Setha inqubo lapho banokukhetha khona kokudla (phakathi kokukhethwa okunempilo - ngoba masithembeke, phakathi kwesipinashi nekhekhe, ubani ngeke khetha ikhekhe?) futhi imodeli izama izinto ezintsha ukuze zikubone udla ngengqondo - kunokuphendula ngaphambi kokucabanga.

Okuhlobene: Kungani sekuyisikhathi sokuchitha inganekwane kamama ophelele

Umehluko nezinye izitayela zobuzali

Ngakho-ke, yini ebeka ukuba ngumzali ocabangelayo ngaphandle kwezinye izitayela zobuzali? Hhayi, akukuningi kangako ukwenza okuthile ikakhulukazi njengoba kumayelana nokuthatha isikhathi ukumane kube. Uma lokho kuzwakala kukuxaka kuwe, ungakhathazeki. Nakanjani ukushintsha kwengqondo okungathatha isikhathi ukuqonda.

Ezinye izitayela zokuba ngumzali zivame ukugxila ekutheni ungasondela kanjani kulokhu noma lokho, noma amasu wokubhekana nokuziphatha noma izenzo ezithile.Ukukhulisa izingane ngengqondo yakho kumayelana nokuhlehla nokwehlisa ijubane.

Imayelana nokugcwalisa inkomishi yomzali nokubona imizwa yangaphakathi noma izinto ezingaphandle ezingaba nomthelela okwamanje. Futhi kumayelana nokwamukela imizwa emihle nemibi njengoba beza ngokuqhathanisa nokuphikisana nesikhathi samanje ukufeza umphumela othile.

Enhliziyweni, ukuba ngumzali okucabangayo kuhlonipha okuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana futhi kuthatha isikhathi ukubona umhlaba ngamehlo engane yakho. Izingane, ikakhulukazi ezincane, ngokwemvelo zihlala okwamanje.

Ngenkathi ezinye izitayela zobuzali zingaba ngaphezulu ngokufundisa izingane ukwakheka kanye nokwejwayelekile noma okulungile nokungalungile, ukukhumbula kukhuluma ngamandla abo okuzalwa ukuba khona. Umgomo wokugcina unikeza ingane yakho amathuluzi okubhekana nezingcindezi zawo ngendlela enengqondo.

Okuhlobene: Amabhulogi omama amahle kakhulu we-2019

Ungaba kanjani umzali onengqondo

Awudingi ukushintsha yonke indlela yakho yokuphila ukuze uqale ukwenza amasu okucabanga namuhla.

• Vula amehlo akho, ngokoqobo nangokomfanekiso. Naka okuzungezile nokuthi uzizwa kanjani ngaphakathi nangaphandle. Thatha izinto ngazo zonke izinzwa zakho - ukuthinta, ukuzwa, ukubona, ukuhogela nokunambitha.
• Yiba okwamanje. Melana nokuphila esikhathini esedlule noma uhlele ngokucophelela ngekusasa. Thola okuhle ngokwenzekayo njengamanje, phambi kwakho.
• Prakthiza ukwamukela. Zama okusemandleni akho ukwamukela imizwa nezenzo zengane yakho, noma ngabe zikukhungathekisa. (Futhi wandise lokhu kwamukelwa kuwe.)
• Adonse umoya. Unesikhathi senhlekelele? Gxila ekuphefumuleni kwakho. Thatha umoya ojulile, ugcwalise amaphaphu akho ngomoya futhi ugcine ingqondo yakho ekuphefumuleni kwakho. Exhale uzwe umoya wakho njengoba ungena futhi uphuma emzimbeni wakho. Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuthi iphefumule ngezikhathi ezinzima, futhi.
• Zindla. Ukugxila ekuphefumuleni kuyingxenye enkulu yokuzindla. Udinga kuphela ukudweba imizuzu embalwa usuku ngalunye ukuze uxhumane nawe uqobo. Bheka i-YouTube ngokuzivocavoca kwamahhala. Lokhu kuzindla okuqondiswe ngemizuzu eyi-10 okuvela kuThe Honest Guys kunokubukwa okungaphezu kwezigidi eziyi-7.5 namathani wamazwana amahle. Ungathola ngisho nemikhuba yezingane. I-New Horizon inikeza amakhulukhulu wokuzivocavoca kwengqondo nokuphumula ezinganeni zabo bonke ubudala.

Ukuthatha

Ngokuzayo lapho usesimweni sokuba ngumzali lapho uzwa khona ukuthi ungaqhuma phezulu, zinike isikhashana ume kancane. Thatha umoya ojulile bese ukhipha ngokuphelele. Cwilisa imizwa yakho, indawo okuyo, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwengane yakho. Bese usebenzela ukwamukelwa kulo mzuzu ngaphandle kokuzulazula emicabangweni yesikhathi esedlule noma esizayo.

Ungahle ungaphumeleli ekubeni nenjabulo ezikhathini ezimbalwa zokuqala uzama le ndlela entsha yokuba ngumzali. Futhi KULUNGILE ukungabaza. Kepha, ngemuva kwesikhashana, ungathola ukuthi ukuthatha isikhashana ukuma kancane ngaphambi kokuphendula kunciphisa ukucindezeleka kwakho futhi kube nomthelela omuhle enganeni yakho.