Ukuzikhulumela Okulungile: Ukuthi Ukukhuluma Nawe Kuyinto Enhle Kanjani

-Delile

• Kungani kukufanele?
• Isebenza kanjani?
• Yiziphi ezinye izibonelo?
• Ngikusebenzisa kanjani lokhu nsuku zonke?
• Kufanele ngifune nini ukwesekwa?

Sifaka imikhiqizo esicabanga ukuthi ilusizo kubafundi bethu. Uma uthenga ngezixhumanisi ezikuleli khasi, singathola ikhomishini encane. Nansi inqubo yethu.

Kuyini ukuzikhulumela okuhle?

Ukuzikhulumela kuyinkhulumomphendvulwano yakho yangaphakathi. Ithonywe yingqondo yakho enganakile, futhi iveze imicabango yakho, izinkolelo, imibuzo kanye nemibono yakho.

Ukuzikhulumela kungaba kubi futhi kube kuhle. Kungakhuthaza, futhi kungakucindezela. Ukuzikhulumela kwakho okuningi kuncike ebuntwini bakho. Uma unethemba, ukukhuluma kwakho ngokwakho kungaba nethemba nokuhle. Okuphambene ngokuvamile kuyiqiniso uma uvame ukungabi nathemba.

Ukucabanga okuhle nokuqiniseka kungaba ngamathuluzi wokulawula ukucindezeleka asebenzayo. Ngempela, ukuba nombono oqondile ngempilo kungakunika izinzuzo ezithile zempilo. Isibonelo, ucwaningo olulodwa lwango-2010 lukhombisa ukuthi abanethemba lokuphila banempilo engcono.

Uma ukholwa ukuthi ukukhuluma kwakho kubi kakhulu, noma uma ufuna ukugcizelela ukukhuluma ngokwakho, ungafunda ukuguqula leyo ngxoxo yangaphakathi. Kungakusiza ukuthi ube ngumuntu onombono oqondile, futhi kungathuthukisa impilo yakho.

Kungani kukufanele?

Ukuzikhulumela kungakhulisa ukusebenza kwakho nenhlalakahle jikelele. Isibonelo, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuzikhulumela kungasiza abagijimi ngokusebenza. Kungabasiza ngokukhuthazela noma ngamandla ngokusebenzisa iqoqo lezisindo ezisindayo.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuzikhulumela okuhle nokuba nethemba elingaphezulu kungaba nezinye izinzuzo zezempilo, kufaka phakathi:

• ukwanda komzimba
• ukwaneliseka okukhulu kwempilo
• ukusebenza komzimba okuthuthukisiwe
• ubuhlungu obuncishisiwe
• impilo engcono yenhliziyo
• inhlalakahle engcono yomzimba
• kuncishiswe ingozi yokufa
• ukucindezeleka okuncane nokucindezeleka

Akucaci ukuthi kungani abanethemba kanye nabantu abanokuzikhulumela okuhle behlangabezana nalezi zinzuzo. Kodwa-ke, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi abantu abanokuzikhulumela okuhle bangaba namakhono engqondo abavumela ukuba baxazulule izinkinga, bacabange ngokuhlukile, futhi basebenze kangcono ekubhekaneni nobunzima noma izinselelo. Lokhu kunganciphisa imiphumela eyingozi yokuxineka nokukhathazeka.

Isebenza kanjani?

Ngaphambi kokuthi ufunde ukuzijwayeza ukukhuluma ngokwakho, kufanele uqale ukhombe ukucabanga okungekuhle. Lolu hlobo lokucabanga nokuzikhulumela ngokuvamile luwela ezigabeni ezine:

• Ukwenza ngezifiso. Uyazisola ngakho konke.
• Kukhulisa. Ugxila ezicini ezingezinhle zesimo, uzibe noma yikuphi konke okuhle.
• Ukuhlukumeza. Ulindele okubi kakhulu, futhi kuyaqabukela uvumele umqondo noma isizathu sikuthonye ngenye indlela.
• Ukuhlukaniswa. Ubona umhlaba kumnyama kokumhlophe, noma okuhle nokubi. Akukho lutho phakathi nendawo futhi akukho mhlaba ophakathi wokucutshungulwa nokuhlukaniswa kwemicimbi yempilo.

Lapho uqala ukubona izinhlobo zakho zokucabanga okungalungile, ungasebenzela ukuziguqula zibe ukucabanga okuhle. Lo msebenzi udinga ukuzijwayeza nesikhathi futhi awuthuthukisi ngobusuku obubodwa. Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi lokho kungenziwa. Ucwaningo luka-2012 lukhombisa ukuthi nezingane ezincane zingafunda ukulungisa ukukhuluma okungalungile.

Yiziphi ezinye izibonelo?

Lezi zimo ziyizibonelo zokuthi ungakuguqula nini futhi ungakhulumi kanjani okungekuhle ube wukuzikhulumela okuhle. Futhi, kuthatha umkhuba. Ukubona okunye kokuzikhulumela kwakho okungekuhle kulezi zimo kungakusiza ukuthi uthuthukise amakhono wokufaka umcabango lapho kwenzeka.

Okubi: Ngizodumaza wonke umuntu uma ngiguqula umqondo wami.

Oqondile: Nginamandla okushintsha umqondo wami. Abanye bazoqonda.

Okubi: Ngehlulekile ngaziphoxa.

Oqondile: Ngiyaziqhenya ngami ngokuzama. Lokho kwakudinga isibindi.

Okubi: Ngikhuluphele futhi anginaso isimo. Ngingahle futhi ngingazihluphi.

Oqondile: Ngiyakwazi futhi ngiqinile, futhi ngifuna ukuba nempilo kimi.

Okubi: Ngiyeka wonke umuntu oseqenjini lami phansi uma ngingashayi magoli.

Oqondile: Ezemidlalo zingumcimbi weqembu. Siyanqoba futhi sihlulwe ndawonye.

Okubi: Angikaze ngikwenze lokhu phambilini futhi ngizoba mubi kukho.

Oqondile: Leli yithuba elihle kimi lokuthi ngifunde kwabanye futhi ngikhule.

Okubi: Akunandlela nje yokuthi lokhu kuzosebenza.

Oqondile: Ngiyakwazi futhi ngizozinikela ngakho konke ukuze kusebenze.

Ngikusebenzisa kanjani lokhu nsuku zonke?

Ukuzikhulumela okuhle kuthatha umkhuba uma kungewona umuzwa wakho wemvelo. Uma uvame ukungabi nathemba, ungafunda ukuguqula inkhulumomphendvulwano yakho yangaphakathi ukuthi ikhuthaze futhi ikhuthaze kakhulu.

Kodwa-ke, ukwakha umkhuba omusha kudinga isikhathi nomzamo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, imicabango yakho ingashintsha. Ukuzikhulumela okuhle kungaba yinto yakho evamile. Lezi zeluleko zingasiza:

• Thola izingibe zokuzikhulumela ezingezinhle. Izimo ezithile zingakhuphula ukungazethembi kwakho futhi ziholele ekukhulumeni okungekuhle ngokwengeziwe. Imicimbi yomsebenzi, isibonelo, ingaba nzima kakhulu. Ukukhomba lapho uzwa ukukhuluma okungekuhle kakhulu kungakusiza ukuthi ulindele futhi uzilungiselele.
• Ngena ngemizwa yakho. Misa phakathi nemicimbi noma izinsuku ezimbi bese uhlola ukukhuluma kwakho ngokwakho. Ngabe kuya kuba kubi? Ungayiguqula kanjani?
• Thola amahlaya. Ukuhleka kungasiza ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka nokungezwani. Lapho udinga ukukhuliswa kokuzikhulumela okuhle, thola izindlela zokuhleka, njengokubuka amavidiyo ezilwane ezihlekisayo noma usomahlaya.
• Zizungeze nabantu abahle. Noma ngabe uyakuqaphela noma cha, ungangena ekubukeni nasekuzweleni kwabantu abaseduze kwakho. Lokhu kufaka phakathi okungekuhle nokuhle, ngakho-ke khetha abantu abahle uma kungenzeka.
• Zinikeze iziqinisekiso ezinhle. Kwesinye isikhathi, ukubona amagama amahle noma izithombe ezikhuthazayo kunganele ukuqondisa kabusha imicabango yakho. Thumela izikhumbuzo ezincane ehhovisi lakho, ekhaya lakho, nanoma yikuphi lapho uchitha khona isikhathi esiningi.

Kufanele ngifune nini ukwesekwa?

Ukuzikhulumela okuhle kungakusiza ukuthi uthuthukise umbono wakho ngempilo. Futhi ingaba nezinzuzo ezihlala njalo zezempilo, kufaka phakathi inhlalakahle ethuthukisiwe kanye nekhwalithi engcono yempilo. Kodwa-ke, ukukhuluma ngokwakho kuwumkhuba owenziwe esikhathini esingaphezu kwempilo yonke.

Uma uvame ukuba nokuzikhulumela okungekuhle futhi wenze iphutha lokulahla ithemba, ungafunda ukukuguqula. Kuthatha isikhathi nokuzilolonga, kepha ungathuthukisa ukukhuluma okuhle.

Uma uthola ukuthi awuphumeleli wedwa, khuluma nomelaphi. Ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo bangakusiza ukuthi ukhombe imithombo yokuzikhulumela okungekuhle futhi ufunde ukufaka inkinobho. Buza umhlinzeki wakho wezokunakekelwa kwempilo ngokudluliselwa kumelaphi, noma ubuze umngane noma ilungu lomndeni ngesiphakamiso.

Uma ungenazo izinkomba zomuntu siqu, ungasesha i-database yamasayithi afana ne-PsychCentral noma i- WhereToFindCare.com. Izinhlelo zokusebenza ze-Smartphone ezifana ne-Talkspace ne-LARKR zinikeza ukuxhumana okubonakalayo kochwepheshe abaqeqeshiwe nabanamalayisense ngokusebenzisa izingxoxo noma ukusakazwa kwevidiyo bukhoma.