Ngabe Abantu Abangabambisene Nomdlavuza Webele Bakutholaphi Ukusekelwa?

Q: Angikhethi. Ngisebenzisa bona / izabizwana futhi ngizibheka njenge-transmasculine, yize ngingenaso isithakazelo kuma-hormone noma ekuhlinzweni. Yebo, nginenhlanhla, ngingahle ngithole ukuhlinzwa okuphezulu noma kunjalo, ngoba nami nginomdlavuza webele.

Okuhlangenwe nakho kuye kwahlukanisa kakhulu. Konke okuphathelene nakho, kusuka ekwelashweni uqobo kuya ekusekeleni amaqembu esitolo sezipho esibhedlela, kusobala ukuthi kuhloselwe abesifazane be-cis, ikakhulukazi abaqondile futhi ngokwesiko njengabesifazane.

Nginabantu abangisekelayo empilweni yami, kepha ngiyazibuza ukuthi ngidinga ukuxhumana yini nabanye abasindile. Ngenkathi amaqembu asekelayo engikhuthazwe ukuba ngiye kuwo wonke abonakala egcwele abantu abahle, ngikhathazekile ukuthi yingoba nabo bengibona ngingowesifazane. (Kukhona neqembu elisekela amadoda anomdlavuza webele, kepha nami angisiye umuntu onomdlavuza webele.)

Ngokwethembeka, abantu abaseqenjini lami lokuxhaswa ngabangenzi lutho kanye naku-non-kanambambili ku-Facebook, kanye nabantu engibaziyo engibaziyo endaweni yangakini, baba usizo kakhulu njengoba ngidlula kulokhu, yize kungekho noyedwa kubo onomdlavuza webele. Ngabe kukhona engingakwenza ukuze ngizizwe ngisekelwa kakhulu?

Wonke umuntu uqhubeka akhulume ngokuthi into eyodwa ekude ngokuba nomdlavuza webele ingumphakathi osindile, kepha lokho akuzwakali njengokuthile enginakho ukuba nakho.

A: Sawubona lapho. Okokuqala ngifuna ukuqinisekisa ukuthi lokhu kunzima kakhulu futhi akulungile kanjani lokhu. Ukuzikhulumela njengomuntu ongekho kanambambili kuwumsebenzi onzima njalo. Kunzima ikakhulukazi (futhi akulungile) uma wenza kanjalo ngenkathi welashwa umdlavuza!

Ngingaqhubeka ngigxile ngokuphathelene nobulili kanye nokubaluleka kobulili okwenzelwe ukukhuthazwa komdlavuza webele nokwesekwa amashumi eminyaka, kepha akukho kwalokho okusizayo njengamanje. Ngifuna nje ukwazisa ukuthi ikhona, futhi sekuqala ukuba nabasindile abaningi ngokwengeziwe, abasindile ngokubambisana, abameli, abacwaningi, nabahlinzeki bezokwelapha abakwaziyo lokhu bese behlehlela emuva kukho.

Ngicabanga ukuthi kunezicucu ezimbili embuzweni wakho, futhi zihlukene ngandlela thile: eyodwa, ukuthi ungazulazula kanjani ekwelashweni njengomuntu ongekho kanambambili; futhi okubili, ukuthi ungakufuna kanjani ukwesekwa njengomuntu osindile ongeyona ibhanari.

Ake sikhulume ngombuzo wokuqala. Ukhulume ngabantu abaningi abasekelayo empilweni yakho. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu futhi kuyasiza uma kukhulunywa ngokwelashwa kokuzulazula. Ngabe ukhona ohamba nawe ukuya lapho kubekwa khona abantu kanye nakukwelashwa? Uma kungenjalo, ungathola yini abangane noma ozakwethu ukuba beze nawe? Bacele ukuthi bakukhulumele futhi bakusekele njengoba ubeka imingcele nabahlinzeki bakho.

Yenza uhlu lwezinto abahlinzeki bakho abadinga ukuzazi ukuze bakudlulisele kuzo ngokufanele. Lokhu kungafaka igama odlula kulo, izabizwana zakho, ubulili bakho, amagama owasebenzisela noma yiziphi izingxenye zomzimba wakho ezingadala i-dysphoria, ukuthi ufuna ukubizwa kanjani ngaphandle kwegama lakho nezabizwana (okungukuthi, umuntu, umuntu, isiguli , njll.), nanoma yini enye engakusiza uzizwe uqinisiwe futhi uhlonishwa.

Akunasizathu sokuthi udokotela, ekwethula kumsizi wabo, angakwazi ukusho into enjengokuthi, “Leli [igama lakho], umuntu oneminyaka engama-30 ubudala one-ductal carcinoma ehlaselayo ohlangothini lwesobunxele sesifuba sakhe.”

Lapho usunalo uhlu lwakho, yabelana ngalo nanoma imaphi ama-receptionist, abahlengikazi, ama-PCAs, odokotela, noma abanye abasebenzi osebenzisana nabo. Abamukeli kanye nabahlengikazi bangakwazi ukwengeza amanothi eshadini lakho lezokwelapha ukuze baqiniseke ukuthi abanye abahlinzeki babona futhi basebenzise igama lakho elifanele nezabizwana zakho.

Abantu bakho bokusekelwa bazokwazi ukulandela futhi balungise noma ngubani okuqambela amanga noma ogeje imemo.

Vele, akuwona wonke umuntu okhululekile ukubeka lezi zinhlobo zemingcele nabahlinzeki bezempilo, ikakhulukazi uma ulwa nesifo esisongela impilo. Uma ungazizwa ukwenzile, lokho kusebenza ngokuphelele. Futhi akwenzi iphutha lakho ukuthi uphethwe kabi noma ubhekiswe kukho ngezindlela ezingakusebenzeli.

Akuwona umsebenzi wakho ukufundisa ochwepheshe bezokwelapha. Kungumsebenzi wabo ukubuza. Uma bengenzi njalo, futhi unamandla omqondo wokuzilungisa, lokho kungaba yisinyathelo esiwusizo kakhulu futhi ekugcineni esikunike amandla. Kepha uma ungakwenzi, zama ukungazisoli. Uzama nje ukudlula kulokhu ngokusemandleni akho.

Okungiletha engxenyeni yesibili yombuzo wakho: ukufuna ukwesekwa njengomuntu osindile ongeyona inkomba.

Ukhulume ngabantu abadlulayo nabangabazi obaziyo endaweni yakini nakwi-inthanethi ukuthi bayasekela ngempela, kepha ababona abasindile (noma, okungenani, ababona abasindile kulo mdlavuza onawo). Ufuna hlobo luni losizo ongaludinga ikakhulukazi kulabo abasinde kumdlavuza webele?

Ngibuza nje ngoba, ngenkathi amaqembu osizo lomdlavuza engasiza kakhulu, awalungile noma adingekile kuwo wonke umuntu. Ngicabanga ukuthi iningi lethu ligcina selizizwa sengathi kufanele "siye" eqenjini lokwesekwa ngesikhathi sokwelashwa ngoba kuyinto "okufanele yenziwe." Kepha kungenzeka ukuthi ukuxhaswa kwezenhlalo nangokomzwelo onakho sekuvele kuhlangatshezwa abangane bakho, ophathina bakho, namaqembu we-trans / nonbinary.

Njengoba unikezwe ukuthi uthole laba bantu belusizo kakhulu kunabanye abasindile bomdlavuza ohlangane nabo, mhlawumbe empeleni ayikho imbobo efana neqembu elisekela iqembu empilweni yakho.

Futhi uma kunjalo, kunengqondo. Ngenkathi ngiselashwa, ngangivame ukumangazwa ukuthi ngangifana kangakanani nabantu abadlule kuzo zonke izinhlobo zezinto ezingenaso umdlavuza ngokuphelele: ukushayisana, ukukhulelwa, ukulahlekelwa othandekayo, ukugula okungabonakali, i-ADHD, i-autism, isifo seLyme, i-lupus, i-fibromyalgia, ukudangala okukhulu, ukunqamuka kokuya esikhathini, kanye ne-dysphoria yezobulili nokuhlinzwa okuqinisekisa ubulili.

Enye yezinto ekuzwisa ubuhlungu obukhulu njengamanje yi-cissexism, futhi lokho kungukuhlangenwe nakho wonke umuntu kunoma yiliphi iqembu le-trans azohlangana nalo. Akumangalisi ukuthi uzizwe wesekelwa kakhulu lapho.

Uma ngabe ufuna ukuthola ezinye izinsizakusebenza eziqondene ngqo nabasindile bomdlavuza abadlulayo noma abangavamile, noma kunjalo, ngincoma ukuthi ubheke iNational LGBT Cancer Network.

Ngifisa kakhulu ukuthi kube nokuningi ngaphandle kwakho. Ngiyethemba uzokwazi ukuzenzela isikhala osidingayo.

Akunandaba, noma kunjalo, ngiyakubona.

Njengoba ubulili bakho bunganqunywa yizitho zomzimba owazalwa unazo, akunqunywa ukuthi izitho zomzimba zomdlavuza zenzeka kuziphi izitho zomzimba.

Ozithobayo,

UMiri

UMiri Mogilevsky ungumbhali, uthisha, kanye nodokotela osebenza eColumbus, e-Ohio. Baphethe i-BA kwezengqondo evela eNyakatho-ntshonalanga Yunivesithi kanye ne-master kwezenhlalakahle evela eColumbia University. Batholakala ukuthi banomdlavuza webele wesigaba 2a ngo-Okthoba 2017 futhi baqeda ukwelashwa entwasahlobo ka-2018. UMiri ungumnikazi wamawigi ahlukene angama-25 kusukela ezinsukwini zabo ze-chemo futhi uyakujabulela ukuwasebenzisa ngendlela ehlelekile. Ngaphandle komdlavuza, babhala nangempilo yengqondo, ubunikazi benkosikazi, ucansi oluphephile nemvume, nengadi.