Amathiphu Wokuba Umzali Wokukhulisa Ingane Okuwukuphela Kwayo

-Delile

• 1. Akusoze kwaba nezinsuku zokudlala ezanele.
• 2. Vumela inkululeko.
• 3. Khuthaza ukuzimela.
• 4. Zishise izinkanuko.
• 5. Mirror ubudlelwano obunempilo.
• 6. Yenqaba ukushwibeka.
• 7. Thuthukisa uzwela.
• 8. Yiba yizwi lokucabanga.
• 9. Ungathengi ku-hype.

Bengihlala ngifuna izingane ezinhlanu, indlu enomsindo nenesiphithiphithi, egcwele uthando nenjabulo njalo. Akukaze kwenzeke kimi ukuthi ngelinye ilanga ngibe neyodwa.

Kepha manje ngilapha. Umama ongazali ongashadile enganeni encane, ovulekele emcabangweni wokuba nokuningi, kepha futhi ubhekane namaqiniso ngeqiniso lokuthi ithuba kungenzeka lingaze livele. Indodakazi yami ingaba nje kuphela ngemuva kwakho konke.

Ngakho-ke, ngenze ucwaningo lwami. Njengabazali abaningi, ngizwe yonke imicabango engemihle ezungeze izingane kuphela, futhi bengifuna ukwenza konke okusemandleni ami ukusiza indodakazi yami igweme leso siphetho. Okungiholele kulezi zeluleko eziyisishiyagalolunye engihlela ukuzisekela kuphela amafilosofi wami wokuba ngumzali wezingane.

1. Akusoze kwaba nezinsuku zokudlala ezanele.

Ucwaningo lwango-2004 olushicilelwe kuJournal of Marriage and Family lwathola ukuthi izingane kuphela ezivame ukuba “namakhono empofu okuhlalisana” kunontanga bazo nezingane zakubo.

Kepha lokho akudingeki ukuthi kusho ukuthi owakho kuphela umiselwe ukuxegisa. Ukuvezela ingane yakho ezindaweni ezahlukahlukene zenhlalo, futhi uyinikeze amathuba okuxhumana nontanga yayo isencane, kungasiza ekulweni nalokhu kusilela.

2. Vumela inkululeko.

Ngezingane eziningi, abazali bavame ukusakazeka ngokuzaca okuthe xaxa. Okusho ukuthi izingane ezinezelamani azinaye umama noma ubaba ohamba phezu kwazo umzuzu nomzuzu.

Lokho kungaba yinto enhle ekuthuthukiseni ukuzimela kanye nezintshisekelo zomuntu siqu. Zombili lezi zimfanelo izingane kuphela ezingase zingabi namathuba amaningi okuthuthuka. Ngiyazi mina nendodakazi yami, amandla ethu ajwayelekile asiphikisana nezwe kangangokuba kwesinye isikhathi ngikhohlwa ukuhlehla emuva ngimyeke ahambe yedwa.

Ukuziphoqa ukuthi ngimnikeze leso sikhala ukuphela kwendlela azoke akhe amaphiko akhe.

3. Khuthaza ukuzimela.

Ngokusho kukaSusan Newman, umbhali wencwadi ethi “The Case for the Only Child,” izimo zinamathuba amaningi okuthi izingane ezinezelamani zifune ukuqinisekiswa emphakathini kanye namathuba okwamukeleka kuzo. Lokho kungazenza zithambekele kakhulu ekucindezelweni ontanga phansi.

Ukuze ukudumaze lokho, ncoma ukuzimela kwengane yakho kusukela isencane. Basize bakwazise ukwehluka, kunokuba yingxenye yesixuku.

4. Zishise izinkanuko.

Ufuna ukubulala izinyoni ezimbalwa ngetshe elilodwa? Yenza izingane zakho zibandakanyeke emisebenzini engaphandle kwendlu.

Lokhu ngeke kubanikeze ithuba lokuzijabulisa nontanga yabo kuphela, kuzobasiza nokuthi bathole ukuthi yimiphi kuleyo misebenzi abangayithanda. Lokhu kungaveza ubuntununtunu nokuzizwa okungasiza kuphela ukuzuzisa zonke izingane, kepha ikakhulukazi ikakhulukazi.

5. Mirror ubudlelwano obunempilo.

Ngokuya ngocwaningo lwango-2013 e-Ohio State University, ama-onies ajwayele ukuba namathuba aphezulu esahlukaniso.

Abaphenyi bathi lokhu kubuyela kulawo makhono omphakathi anciphile. Ama-Onely akumele afunde ukuthi angayekethisa kanjani ngendlela efanayo izingane ezinezelamani. Imiphumela yocwaningo ithole ukuthi ngengane ngayinye eyengeziwe efinyelela kwayisikhombisa, ukuvikelwa ekuhlukaniseni esikhathini esizayo kukhuphukile. Kodwa ngenxa yokuthi kunobudlelwano lapho akusho ukuthi kufanele uzizwe ucindezelekile ukuba nezingane eziningi.

Ngemuva kwakho konke, kunezinye izinto eziningi eza ehlukanisweni elizayo. Enye indlela yokusiza kungaba ukulingisa ubudlelwano obuhle bomshado bokwakho kuphela. Noma funa eminye imibhangqwana emndenini wakho owandisiwe nakumbuthano wobungani ongasebenza njengalawo amamodeli.

6. Yenqaba ukushwibeka.

Bonke abazali balwa nenkinga yokuvikela izingane zabo. Kepha ama-onely, ikakhulukazi, adinga ukufunda indlela yokulwa nengxabano ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kwabazali. Lokho kusho ukuthi uhlala emuva lapho ubona ukuphoxeka kwakho ngoba ithuba labo ekushintsheni kweqiwe ebaleni lokudlala. Futhi lapho ingane yakho esesikoleni ifika kuwe izocela iseluleko mayelana nokulwa nabangane, kusho ukuthi unikeza leso seluleko, kepha ungazibandakanyi ngokuqhubekayo.

Noma kunini lapho kungenzeka khona, mabazisebenzisele lezo zingxabano, ngoba ngeke ube khona ukuzokwethula lapho sebebadala.

7. Thuthukisa uzwela.

Impela, izingane ezinezingane zakubo cishe ziyaphoqeleka ukuthi zicabange ngezidingo zabanye kaningi kunezinye.

Kepha kunezinye izindlela zokwakheka kwengane yakho ibe ngumuntu onozwela, futhi ungakha amathuba alokho kwaziswa kwabanye okwakhayo. Zinikele kwenye indawo njengomndeni, ngokwesibonelo, noma usize abangani ngokuthatha isinyathelo esikhulu. Khuluma ngokuyekethisa, khombisa izibonelo zozwela lapho ubona, futhi uzifanise lezo zimilo ofuna ingane yakho ifunde kuzo.

8. Yiba yizwi lokucabanga.

Ama-Onely athambekele ekufuneni amaphutha, ehlala elwela ukwamukelwa.

Ezimweni eziningi, kungenzeka babe ngabagxeki babo ababi kakhulu. Kuyinto okufanele uhlale uyazi lapho ucasukile ngebanga elibi noma ngokungenzi kahle enkundleni. Lokho akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukuveza ukuphoxeka kwakho, ngoba nakanjani kufanele. Kepha kusho ukulalela ingane yakho, futhi unciphise noma iziphi izikhathi zokuzikhulumela kabi.

Kungaba nezikhathi lapho bedinga ukuthi ubakhe khona, kunokuba unqwabelene ekudumazekeni abasuke bekuzwa.

9. Ungathengi ku-hype.

Kunemibono eminingi eyiphutha ngemizabalazo yezingane kuphela, nezinkolelo-ze eziningi okungekho mzali womuntu ofuna ukukholwa kuphela.

Kepha kukhona ucwaningo oluhle kakhulu lokucatshangelwa nalo. Kuvela ukuthi abanaso isizungu njengoba wonke umuntu ecabanga, ngokwesibonelo, futhi bathambekele ekwenzeni kangcono esikoleni kunezingane ezinezelamani.

Ngakho-ke zama ukungabambeki kakhulu kulokho okushiwo yilowo nalowo ngokuthi ngubani ozoba yedwa wakho. Izingane zehlukile futhi ziyahlukahluka, akukhathaleki ukuthi zingaba yizingane ezingakanani noma zingaba nazo. Futhi akukho cwaningo olungakutshela ngokuqinisekile noma yini ngokuthi ngelinye ilanga uyoba owakho.