Isixazululo Esingekho KwiRadar Yakho: Izindlela eziyi-11 Zokuxhuma Ngempela Lo nyaka

-Delile

• Kubhale Phansi
• Landela
• Ngesizotha Ithi Cha
• Dedela Amagqubu
• Izinto Zomoya Ziphume
• Amangale Umuntu
• Phatha umuntu osebenza naye ekudleni kwasemini
• Yiba Ilungu
• Yabelana Ngokumamatheka
• Sebenzisa Ubuchwepheshe Kusizakale Yakho
• Vuselela Ezothando
• Buyekeza kwe-

Unamakhulu okuxhumana ku-LinkedIn kanye nabangane abengeziwe ku-Facebook. Uthanda izithombe zabo ku-Instagram futhi uthumela izithombe ozishuthe zona ze-Snapchat njalo. Kodwa wagcina nini ukukhuluma nomunye wabo ubuso nobuso? Ukucabanga kanjalo. Futhi lokho kuntuleka kobudlelwane bangempela kungaba yingozi kakhulu kunalokho ocabanga ngakho.

"Yize ukuxhumana nge-elekthronikhi kuyisibusiso esikhulu kule minyaka yethu, kubeke engcupheni amandla okuxhumana nabantu ngokususa ukuthintana nokuzibandakanya," kusho u-Edward Hallowell, M.D., umsunguli weHallowell Centers nombhali we Xhuma: Izibopho eziyi-12 ezibalulekile ezivula inhliziyo yakho, zandise impilo yakho, futhi zijulise umphefumulo wakho. Lokhu kunqanyulwa kube nomthelela omkhulu kwezempilo nasenhlalakahleni yethu. Ukuba nobudlelwane obubuthakathaka bezenhlalakahle kulingana nokubhema ugwayi we-15 ngosuku, kuyingozi kakhulu kunokungasebenzi, futhi kuyingozi kabili njengokukhuluphala, ngokusho kokubuyekezwa kwe-Brigham Young University. Abantu abanokuxhuma okungahambi kahle nabo babe nengozi engamaphesenti angama-50 yokufa ngemuva kweminyaka eyisikhombisa nengxenye. Ngaphandle kwalezi zifo ezinkulu, labo abanokuxhumana okulinganiselwe kwezenhlalo babika umuzwa ojwayelekile wokuthamba okungena ezimpilweni zabo. "Usaluqeda usuku, kodwa uyacabanga, 'Ingabe yilokhu kuphela okukhona?'" kusho u-Hallowell.

Ngaphandle kwesimiso sakho esimatasa, unayo isikhathi sokuqinisa ubudlelwano bakho futhi ucebise impilo yakho nxazonke-futhi yisiphi isikhathi esingcono kuneNcibijane? "Zibophezele ekukhuthazeni ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nokuxhumana ubuso nobuso," kusho u-Hallowell. Ngalezi zinyathelo ezilula, ngeke uvune kuphela inethiwekhi yokuxhumana enamandla, ungahle ube nokujabula okuthe xaxa futhi.

Kubhale Phansi

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Kunenani elikhulu kakhulu labantu ongase uxhumane nabo kabusha, ngakho qala ngabathathu, u-Hallowell uyancoma, njengalapho ohlala naye ekolishi, umzala osuka kude, kanye nomuntu osebenza naye. Bhala amagama abo bese umaka izikhumbuzi ekhalendeni lakho ukuze ubashayele noma ubathumele i-imeyili njalo ngenyanga. [Thwitha leli thiphu!]

Landela

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Iningi lethu liyashesha ukusho ukuthi, "Masenze isidlo sasemini" noma "Kufanele sithathe isiphuzo" ​​lapho sibona umngane wakudala noma umuntu esimaziyo, kodwa asilokothi sizibophezele kulezo zinsuku. Kulo nyaka, setha isikhathi nendawo yokubamba, bese ulandela ngakho.

Ngesizotha Ithi Cha

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Vele, awukwazi "ukwenza isidlo sasemini" nabo bonke abantu owake wabazi noma wonke umuntu ohlangana naye. "Kubalulekile ukubeka phambili ubudlelwano bakho," kusho umelaphi onelayisensi uJulie de Azevedo Hanks, umqondisi we-Wasatch Family Therapy nombhali wezincwadi. Ikhambi Lokushiswa: Umhlahlandlela Wokusinda Ngokomzwelo Kwabesifazane Abacindezelekile. Cabanga ngokuxhumeka kwakho njengemibuthano egxilile, nawe phakathi, bese ubuhlobo bakho obuseduze, amalungu omndeni, abangane, osebenza nabo osondelene nabo, njalo njalo. Chitha isikhathi esiningi namandla uqala enkabeni, futhi unciphise ngaphandle. Ngakho-ke uma ubona umuntu kumbuthano ongaphandle, ungakwenzi bathembisa ukuhlangana. "Lapha kulapho inkundla yezokuxhumana kanye nokuxhumana ngogesi kusiza khona," kusho uHanks. Batshele ukuthi kumnandi ukubabona, futhi usebenzise i-Facebook noma i-Twitter ukuze uhlale uthintana nabo. [Thwitha leli thiphu!]

Dedela Amagqubu

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Sonke okungenani sinomuntu oyedwa esizizwa sonile esikhathini esidlule-wenze unyaka ka-2014 kube unyaka othethelela omunye wabo. "Ukuthethelela yisipho ozipha sona, ngoba sikukhulula kubuthi bolaka olungapheli nentukuthelo," kusho uHallowell, obhale le ncwadi Alinge Ukuxolela. Uyanezela, akusho ukuthi uyakhohlwa-noma uthethelela-okwenziwe, uvele udedele amandla amabi ukuze kuzuze wena. Uma udinga ukulondoloza ubudlelwano obuqhubekayo nalo muntu, kungcono ukuxolelana mathupha, kodwa ezimweni ezinamathelayo, omunye umuntu akadingi ukumazi-mxolele engqondweni yakho, futhi uqhubeke.

Izinto Zomoya Ziphume

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Njengoba iningi lethu lazi mathupha, kuvamile ukuba nokungezwani phakathi kwabangane abaseduze namalungu omkhaya. "Ngokuxhumana okuseduze kuza ukungqubuzana, kepha ukungqubuzana kuyinto ejwayelekile-ukuthi ubhekana kanjani nakho yikhona okubalulekile," kusho uHallowell. Izinkinga ezibucayi njengokuhlukumeza, ukuluthwa, noma okunye ukungasebenzi kahle eceleni, weluleka ukuthi kukhishwe inkinga yakho obala ukuze ekugcineni buqinise ubudlelwano bakho.

Uma uke wazizwa ucindezelekile nomzala wakho okhulume amazwi angenalutho etafuleni lokubonga noma umngane oseduze okhulume ngemuva kwakho, finyelela futhi uthi ubakhumbule futhi ungathanda ukukhuluma ngakho. Ukuhlangana ubuso nobuso kungcono kakhulu ukuze ukwazi ukufinyelela izinkomba ezingenamazwi, kusho uHanks, kepha uma lokho kungenzeki, zama ucingo noma i-Skype, bese uthumela i-imeyili.

Sondela endabeni ethinta inhliziyo efana nomdlalo wethenisi, uHanks uyeluleka: "Gcina ibhola ohlangothini lwakho lwenkundla. Ithi, 'Ngazizwa ngibuhlungu ukuthi lapho ungazange welule isandla ngenkathi umama eshona ngonyaka odlule. Ngiyazi ukuthi ubunokuningi uyaqhubeka empilweni yakho, kepha ngibuhlungu angizange ngizwe kuwe. yabelana ngemizwa yakho esengozini-ukulimala, ukudabuka, ukwesaba, isizungu, kuchaza uHanks. Uma bengafuni ukukhuluma, shiya umnyango uvuliwe ngokuthi uzoba lapho uma bengase bazizwe bekulungele ukuphinde baxhumane, noma ubuze ukuthi ungakwazi yini ukuphinde ubuye ungene nabo ezinyangeni ezimbalwa.

Amangale Umuntu

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Uma ubudlelwano budinga i-TLC encane kepha hhayi inhliziyo egcwele inhliziyo, bonisa isifiso sakho sokuxhuma kabusha ngokukubonisa ukunakekela. Finyelela ngezindlela ezincane, ezingakahleleki, u-Hallowell uyancoma. Thumela okuthile okungalindelekile-ibhasikidi lezithelo, incwadi ethokozisayo, noma ikhadi elishukumisayo ukumenza ahleke-ukusiza ukuqeda iqhwa.

"Khumbula ukuthi noma ngabe abanye abantu bangaziphatha kanjani, unganquma ukuba uhlobo lwendodakazi, udadewenu, umngani, noma isisebenzi wena ngifuna ukuba yikho," kusho u-Hanks. Ngakho-ke uma umphathi wakho engakaze akufisele usuku oluhle lokuzalwa, usabeka ikhadi etafuleni lakhe. Uma ungezwa lutho oluvela ku-Anti wakho uSally kaningi, hlela ukuvakasha ungalindele. Noma vele uthumele elula thumela imiyalezo kubangani bakho nabakude nabo ukuthi, "Ukucabanga ngawe. Ngethemba ukuthi ube neviki elihle!"

Phatha umuntu osebenza naye ekudleni kwasemini

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Iningi lezindawo zokusebenza zinqanyuliwe kulezi zinsuku, futhi izindawo zomsebenzi ezicindezelayo zingaholela ezinkingeni zempilo yomzimba nengqondo. Into eyodwa engasiza ukuba nomngane ehhovisi-uma unomuntu osebenza naye omthanda kakhulu, cishe uzowujabulela kakhulu umsebenzi wakho, kuchaza u-Hallowell. Cela ukuthenga ikhofi noma isidlo sasemini, bese umazi kangcono, noma ulandele isibonelo sikaHanks bese uqala imihlangano yabasebenzi ngenkulumo encane ngempilo yawo wonke umuntu. "Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubona nokwazisa abantu osebenza nabo kanye nabasebenzi njengabantu, hhayi nje abakhiqizi abasehhovisi," kusho uHanks. "Abantu benza umsebenzi ongcono futhi bajabula kakhulu lapho bezizwa bebonwa, bezwa, futhi behlonishwa."

Yiba Ilungu

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Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukuba seqenjini noma enhlanganweni kuthuthukisa imizwa yenhlalakahle nenjongo empilweni, kusho uHallowell. Joyina noma yini-kungaba isonto, iqembu eligijimayo, izinhlangano ezisiza abampofu, noma ibhodi yomphakathi-ehlangana okungenani kanye ngenyanga. Amaphuzu ebhonasi uma ubamba iqhaza kokuthile okuthandayo. "Uzoba nobudlelwane obuhle nabanye abantu futhi ukhulume futhi ubazi kangcono uma kuyinto eninentshisekelo kuyo nonke," kusho uHanks.

Yabelana Ngokumamatheka

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Ngisho nokuxhumana okuncane kakhulu kungakhuphula ukuxhumana kwakho nomphakathi, kusho uHallowell. Moyizela ubaba odlula kuye endaweni yobisi esitolo, bese ushiya ifoni yakho esikhwameni sakho bese ubingelela umuntu ongamazi osekheshini. "Lezi zikhathi ezincane zikunika umfutho wenhlalakahle ongakwenza ujabule ngokuphila-futhi uzizwe uphila ngokwengeziwe," kusho uHallowell. Okunye ukusebenzelana kwansuku zonke okungenza umehluko: Yima esitolo sekhofi sendawo esisodwa noma ukudla okudliwayo, futhi wazi abanikazi ngamagama. Leyo mizuzu emithathu yengxoxo yobungane ingaba nomthelela omkhulu emoyeni wakho usuku lonke. "Uma sixhuma nabanye ezimpilweni zethu zansuku zonke, sizizwa sikhona futhi sithintekile kunangesikhathi siphila kumshayeli wendiza ozenzakalelayo," kusho uHallowell.

Sebenzisa Ubuchwepheshe Kusizakale Yakho

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Imithombo yezokuxhumana ingaba ithuluzi elihle lokuhlala uxhumekile kubo bonke labo bantu ohlangane nabo eminyakeni edlule noma ongababoni kaningi-futhi kuthatha isikhathi esincane nomzamo. "Ngiyabuthanda ubuchwepheshe ngoba bukunika amandla okuthumela i-imeyili noma ukuphawula ngaso leso sikhathi esithombeni, ukwazisa nje umuntu ukuthi ucabanga ngabo," kusho uHanks. Tshela umngane ukuthi ubukeka emuhle ekubhaleni kwakhe okusha kwe-Instagram, thumela i-ecard ehlekisayo, noma uthumele i-imeyili isixhumanisi esiya esihlokweni esikukhumbuze ngowayengumfundi.

Vuselela Ezothando

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Uma uzizwe ukude nomyeni wakho noma isoka lakho muva nje qaphela kuye, kusho uHallowell. Bese umazisa "Ngothayi Omuhle;" "Ngiyayithanda indlela ongiqabula ngayo;" noma "Ubonakala uphansi kancane. Kukhona okusengqondweni yakho?" Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo, ngakho ungesabi ukucela lokho okudingayo ongakutholi, kanye nalokho akudingayo kuwe. Ukuchitha isikhathi njengombhangqwana nakho kubalulekile ekuvuseleleni ubudlelwano. "Kungaba imizuzu emithathu phezu kwekhofi, amahora amathathu esidlweni sakusihlwa kanye nefilimu, noma izinsuku ezintathu ohambweni lwangempelasonto, kodwa akukho okungathatha indawo yesikhathi ndawonye," kusho u-Hallowell.

Buyekeza kwe-