Kusho Ukuthini Ukucindezelwa Ngokocansi?

-Delile

• Usho ukuthini?
• Ingabe kuyinto efanayo nokukhungatheka ngokobulili?
• Kubangelwa yini?
• Okuhlangenwe nakho okungekuhle noma izinkolelo ngocansi
• Imininingwane engeyona noma ukungabi nalwazi
• Izindima eziqinile zobulili
• Wazi kanjani ukuthi ngabe uyahlangabezana nakho?
• Yini engenzeka ngenxa yayo?
• Imiphumela yomzimba
• Ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo
• Kunzima ukwamukela isimo sakho sobulili
• Isimo sengqondo esibi kwabanye
• Ukungabi nentshisekelo kwezocansi
• Ukwehluleka ukubuza okufunayo
• Imingcele yezocansi edidekile
• Yini ongayenza ngakho?
• Zijwayeze ngokwengqondo ukwamukela imicabango yezocansi
• Funda ngokuzethemba kocansi
• Khululeka ngomzimba wakho
• Khuluma nomlingani wakho
• Ukuphula umjikelezo
• Ungakutholaphi ukwesekwa?
• Okubalulekile

Kwabanye abantu, imicabango evusa inkanuko iletha isasasa nokulindela ezenzakalweni zocansi ezedlule noma ekuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esizayo.

Ukubambelela kule micabango kungakuvula noma kuholele ekushaya indlwabu. (Kujwayelekile impela!)

Uma ubhekene nengcindezelo yezocansi, ngisho negama elithi "ucansi" lingadala amahloni noma ihlazo.

Usho ukuthini?

Mhlawumbe wafunda ebuntwaneni ukuthi ucansi lwalungathandeki noma lungumshado kuphela.

Kungenzeka ukuthi abazali bakho bakutshele ukuthi ukushaya indlwabu noma ukucabanga ngocansi kusho ukuthi unesono.

Ngenxa yalokho, wafunda ukuqeda izifiso zakho (zemvelo ngokuphelele) ukuze uzivikele.

Uma ukwesaba kwakho le micabango kukuholele ekubeni ungayinaki ngokuphelele, njengomuntu omdala, ungakuthola kunzima ukuveza imizwa yakho ngokocansi.

Uma wenza indlwabu noma wenza ucansi, ungazizwa kabi noma unecala ngemuva kwalokho.

Ingabe kuyinto efanayo nokukhungatheka ngokobulili?

Ukukhungatheka ngokocansi kuchaza isimo lapho wenza ucansi oluncane kunendlela ongathanda ngayo - kungaba ebudlelwaneni noma uma uphakathi kwabalingani - ngakho akuyona into efanayo nengcindezelo.

Iningi labantu abadala lihlangabezana nokukhungatheka ngokocansi ngesikhathi esithile.

Ezinye izimpawu ezivamile zifaka:

• ukungahlaliseki
• ukungezwani komzimba
• imicabango ejwayelekile yezocansi nemicabango

Ukukhungatheka nokucindezelwa kwesinye isikhathi kuyadlala komunye nomunye.

Lapho usebenza iminyaka yengcindezelo yezocansi, ungahle uqaphele izifiso zocansi awunasiqiniseko sokuthi uzokuveza kanjani.

Ufuna ukuba ngcono ekuvezeni ubulili bakho kepha awukafiki ezingeni lapho uzizwa ukhululekile ukwenza njalo.

Kujwayelekile ukuthi le nqubo ithathe isikhathi, ngakho-ke ungahle ubone ukuphatheka kabi okwamanje.

Kubangelwa yini?

Imvamisa, ukucindezelwa ngokocansi kwenzeka ekuphenduleni imibono evimbelayo noma izimo zengqondo mayelana nezocansi.

Abazali noma abanye abanakekeli bangafundisa le mibono ngqo, kepha futhi ungavele ubamunce ekubukeni abanye abantu njengoba ukhula.

Ekuqaleni, ungahle uvimbe imicabango yezocansi, kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kucindezelwa kuvame ukuzenzakalela.

Okuhlangenwe nakho okungekuhle noma izinkolelo ngocansi

Abantu bavame ukuhlobanisa ukucindezelwa ngokocansi nokukhuliswa ngokwenkolo, kepha imibono yendabuko ngokuziphatha kocansi ingavela kweminye imithombo, nayo.

Abanye abanakekeli bangaxwayisa izingane ngocansi ngenxa yokwesaba izifo ezithathelwana ngocansi, ukukhulelwa kwentsha, noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi ngokwabo.

Umlando wokuhlukumezeka ngokocansi nawo ungaba yingcindezelo. Ukudlwengulwa nokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi kungadala ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo obubonakalayo, obuhlala isikhathi eside, futhi imicabango yocansi ingadala izinkumbulo nokuqhubeka nokucindezeleka, okwenza kube nzima ukujabulela noma ukufuna ucansi.

Uma ngabe uke waba nobulili obuningi obubi bokuvumelana, ungahle uthathe isinqumo sokuthi lonke ucansi luyafana bese ubuza isifiso sakho sokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukile.

Uma uthatha isinqumo sokuthi izifiso zakho azijwayelekile, ungahle uyingcwabe leyo micabango futhi ube nesikhathi esinzima sokuthola ubudlelwano obuhle bezocansi.

Imininingwane engeyona noma ukungabi nalwazi

Uma abanakekeli bakho bengakhulumi ngocansi, ontanga yakho kungenzeka banikeze ngemininingwane eminingi ephikisanayo engenzanga lukhulu ekumiseni ukubonakaliswa kocansi okunempilo.

Kungenzeka ukuthi awutholanga imibono emibi ngocansi, impela, kepha okunye okuzwile kwabanye kungenza ucansi lubonakale luxakile futhi lungathandeki.

Ungahle ucabange ukuthi, uma ucansi lujwayelekile futhi lunempilo, ngabe abazali bakho bakhulume ngalo.

Imicabango yocansi nokuvuka kungadala ukudideka, ngisho nokunengeka, uma ungazi ukuthi kubangelwa yini.

Izindima eziqinile zobulili

Izinkolelo mayelana nezocansi zivame ukuhlobana nokukhuliswa okuchazwe ngokusobala ngezindima zobulili.

Isibonelo, amantombazane angawuthatha umyalezo ukuthi KULUNGILE ukuhweba ngocansi ukuze uvikeleke noma uthande, kepha hhayi ukukhombisa ukujabula - ngaphandle uma befuna abantu bababheke njengama "sluts".

Kwezinye izimo, abafana bangakhula bekholelwa ukuthi banelungelo lokuya ocansini nokuthi kulungile uma abesifazane bengakuthokozeli.

Le nkolelo (enamaphutha ngokuphelele) ingahle ingabonakali ihlobana kakhulu nengcindezelo, kepha inomthelela.

Ezinye izingane zikhula zingabaza lo mlayezo, futhi isifiso sokuhlangenwe nakho kocansi esivumelana nawo wonke umuntu othintekayo singadala imizwa yokudideka, uma imiyalezo yokuqala ngocansi ihlobene nokulawula.

Ukuya ocansini nakho kungadlala ekucindezelweni. Izingane eziningi zifunda, ngqo noma ngokungaqondile, ukuthi abesilisa nabesifazane kuphela okufanele balale nomunye nomunye.

Uma inkanuko yakho yezocansi ingahambisani nalolo bizo, ungahle ucindezele imizwa yakho ukuze ugweme ukwaliwa.

Ukungazi ukuthi ungabiza kanjani noma wamukele ubulili bakho njengokujwayelekile kungadala ukucindezeleka okukhulu.

Abantu abangama-transgender, nonbinary, nabobulili abangahambisani bangaba nokuhlangenwe nakho okunzima kakhulu.

Ubulili nobulili akuyona into efanayo, yebo, kepha lapho abanakekeli benza ubuwena bakho bungasebenzi ngokukuvimbela ekuvezeni ubulili bakho, ungaqala futhi ukungabaza ezinye izici zemvelo yakho, njengokuya ocansini.

Wazi kanjani ukuthi ngabe uyahlangabezana nakho?

Ukucindezelwa ngokocansi kubandakanya imizwa ekuthinta kabi. Ukucindezelwa kunjalo hhayi:

• i-asexuality, noma ukungabi nokuheha kocansi
• ukunganaki ekuhlolweni kocansi noma ocansini olungakahleleki
• isipiliyoni sezocansi esilinganiselwe

Abanye abantu banentshisekelo ezinhlobonhlobo zezenzo zocansi.

Ukungafuni ukuzama izinto ezinjengobulili bomlomo, ucansi lwendunu, i-BDSM, noma ucansi nabalingani abaningi akunjalo kusho ukuthi ucindezelwe.

Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokufuna uhlobo olulodwa kuphela locansi. Abanye abantu bangabiza lokhu ngokuthi "ubuhlakani," kodwa khumbula ukuthi kunjalo eyakho izifiso ezibalulekile.

Uma ungafuni ukuya ocansini uze ube sebudlelwaneni obuzinikele, besikhathi eside, lokho ngokuphelele kuyisinqumo sakho.

Ukufuna ukulinda ocansini akusho ukuthi ucindezelwe ngokocansi - inqobo nje uma uzikhethela lokhu futhi uzizwa umuhle ngakho.

Ngamafuphi, ingcindezelo isho imizwa ejulile engaqondile ezungeze umqondo wobulili. Izindikimba ezivamile nokuziphatha kufaka:

• amahloni nokucindezeleka okuhambisana nemicabango yezocansi
• ukuba necala neminye imizwa engemihle ngemuva kocansi noma ukushaya indlwabu
• Kunzima ukujabulela ucansi oluphilile, oluvumelanayo
• ukukhuluma okungekuhle ngemuva kwemicabango yocansi noma umsebenzi
• ukukholelwa ukuthi umzimba wakho awukhangi noma awufanelekile ukuya ocansini

Yini engenzeka ngenxa yayo?

USigmund Freud, ongomunye wabokuqala ukuhlola nokubhala ngomqondo wokucindezelwa ngokocansi, uxwayise ngokuthi ukucindezela izifiso zobulili kungaba nemiphumela engafuneki.

Eminye yale miphumela ingaba nemiphumela efinyelela kude enhlalakahleni yakho engokomzwelo.

Imiphumela yomzimba

Abantu abasebenzela ukunqoba ukucindezelwa bavame ukubika izimpawu zomzimba, kufaka phakathi:

• ukungezwani komzimba
• inkathazo yokulala
• ubunzima nge-orgasm noma i-ejaculation ngaphambi kwesikhathi
• ubuhlungu noma ukungakhululeki ngesikhathi socansi

Ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo

Ukucindezelwa nakho kungaba nomthelela ekucindezelekeni ngokomzwelo nasezimpawu zempilo yengqondo, kufaka phakathi:

• ukungafuni ukwenza ngezifiso zobulili
• ukwesaba nokukhathazeka okuhlobene nocansi
• icala elihambisana nezifiso zocansi
• ukwahlulela kanzima kwemicabango yezocansi

Kunzima ukwamukela isimo sakho sobulili

Uma ukhomba njenge-LGBTQIA + kepha ukhulele endaweni lapho iqonde futhi i-cisgender bekuwukuphela kwezinketho ezamukelekayo, kungenzeka ukuthi uzizwe uvikeleke kakhulu ukuthi ungubani nobulili bakho.

Ngisho nalapho ekugcineni uzizwa sengathi uyakwazi ukuveza imizwa yakho, ukwenza kanjalo kungenzeka ukuthi akuzange kuzwakale kuyimvelo.

Ngaphandle kokwazi ukuthi ukuma kwakho kuyindlela evamile yobulili bomuntu, ungaqhubeka nokulwa necala noma ukwesaba okuzungezile, ikakhulukazi lapho uzama ukulwa neminyaka yokukhuliswa ngokwenkolo.

Isimo sengqondo esibi kwabanye

Uma uqala ukuhlanganisa ubulili nemizwa emibi kusukela ebuncaneni, ungagcina unemibono engemihle ngabantu abakuveza ngokukhululekile ubulili babo.

Lokhu kungenzeka ebudlelwaneni - yithi, lapho umlingani wakho eletha inganekwane yezocansi bangathanda ukulingisa.

Ungase futhi ufake amanani angajwayelekile ajwayelekile kakhudlwana kubantu be-LGBTQIA + noma abantu abaya ocansini ngokweqile, ngokwesibonelo.

Ukungabi nentshisekelo kwezocansi

Abanye abantu abanalo idili lokuya ocansini kakhulu, ngakho-ke ukungabi nasithakazelo kwezocansi akuhlobene ngaso sonke isikhathi nengcindezelo.

Kepha kwesinye isikhathi, kuyenzeka. Uma uzinciphise ngempumelelo izifiso zakho, ungahle ungazi ukuthi yini oyithandayo.

Uma ungatholi injabulo enkulu ngocansi, ungahle ungaliboni iphuzu futhi ugweme ukuqala ucansi noma ukuzilwela ngokwakho.

Lokhu kungenza kube nzima ukugcina ubudlelwano ngoba amazinga ehlukene entshisekelo yezocansi angadala izinselelo ebudlelwaneni bezothando.

Ukwehluleka ukubuza okufunayo

Uma uzizwa unamahloni ngemicabango yakho yezocansi, ungaba nobunzima bokuzivuma ngaphandle kwecala.

Ukwabelana ngalezi zifiso nomlingani wakho, ngisho nomuntu omthandayo nomethembayo, kungabonakala kungenakwenzeka.

Ukucindezelwa kungakwenza uzizwe unecala ngokujabulela ukuya ocansini, ngakho-ke lapho okuthile kukwenza uzizwe kahle, ungazizwa unamahloni noma uzigxeka futhi ugweme ukuzama futhi (noma ngabe ufuna ngempela).

Imingcele yezocansi edidekile

Umphumela owodwa obucayi wokucindezelwa ngokocansi uhilela ubunzima bokubona imingcele yomuntu siqu.

Ungaba nobunzima bokuqonda ukuthi yini futhi akulungile uma kukhulunywa ngocansi, ekuziphatheni kwakho noma ekuziphatheni okwamukela kwabanye.

Ungakuthola kunzima ukudala nokuphoqelela imingcele yomuntu siqu ephathelene nobulili. Noma ngabe ufuna ukuthi cha, ungahle uzizwe ungakwazi.

Uma ukholwa ukuthi unelungelo lokuya ocansini, kungenzeka ungaqondi ukubaluleka kwemvume noma ukuhlonipha imingcele.

Yini ongayenza ngakho?

Okokuqala, yazi ukuthi ukucindezelwa ngokocansi kungokoqobo, hhayi konke okusekhanda lakho. Okwesibili, yazi akulona iphutha lakho.

Ukwazi nje izimpawu zokucindezelwa nokuthi zikuthinta kanjani kungakusiza uthathe izinyathelo zokulwa nakho.

Amanye amathiphu awusizo:

Zijwayeze ngokwengqondo ukwamukela imicabango yezocansi

Ukucabangela kungakusiza ukuthi ukhululeke kakhudlwana ngemicabango yocansi ngokwandisa ukuqonda kwakho ngazo nokufunda ukuzamukela ngaphandle kokwahlulela.

Uma kuvela umcabango wezocansi, ungahle uwubone, uzikhumbuze ukuthi ujwayelekile, futhi uvumele udlule ngaphandle kokuzigxeka.

Ungase futhi ulandele lowo mcabango ngentshisekelo futhi uhlole ukuthi kusikiselani - isipiliyoni ongathanda ukuba naso, mhlawumbe?

Funda ngokuzethemba kocansi

Ukuzethemba ngocansi kungasiza ekulweni nengcindezelo yezocansi, ngakho-ke ukukhululeka ngokwengeziwe ngombono wezocansi njengomsebenzi onempilo kungakusiza ukuthi ucindezele.

Ukuhlola ukulondeka kocansi kungabandakanya ukufunda ama-eseyi noma izincwadi ezikhuluma ngezocansi.

Kungasho futhi ukuzijwayeza inkulumo yezocansi ezincwadini, kumafilimu nakubuciko. Kukhona njalo i-porn (kufaka phakathi i-porn yokuziphatha noma ezimele).

Ungathola futhi izigcawu ezibekwe obala ezinciphisiwe ezincwadini ezijwayelekile nakumabhayisikobho, futhi, ngakho-ke akudingeki ufune i-erotica - ngaphandle uma ufuna.

Khululeka ngomzimba wakho

Ukucindezelwa kwesinye isikhathi kungathinta indlela ozizwa ngayo ngomzimba wakho.

Esikhundleni sokuthanda nokwamukela isiqu sakho somzimba, ungahle ube nokuthambekela kokufihla noma ukukhubaza umzimba wakho ngokugqoka okuxekethile, ukuvimba izingubo nokugwema ukuhamba-ze.

Ukukhulisa ukunethezeka kwakho ngomzimba wakho, ungazama:

• uzibuka esibukweni unqunu
• ukufaka kuhlu izinto ezinhlanu ozithandayo ngomzimba wakho
• ukulala nqunu

Khuluma nomlingani wakho

Kwesinye isikhathi, ukuvula umnyango wengxoxo nomlingani oqondayo kungakusiza uzizwe ukhululekile ukuveza izifiso zakho.

Ungase uthi, “Angikaze ngizizwe ngikhululekile ukukhuluma noma ukuvuma engikuthandayo embhedeni. Ngifuna ukuthuthuka, kodwa kuzothatha isikhathi. ”

Ukucabanga ngesikhathi socansi kungakusiza nokuthi ubone lapho ujabulela okuthile ngoba kukuvumela ukuthi ubheke kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho ngaphandle kokuvumela imicabango engafuneki ikuphazamise. Ngale ndlela, ungabonisa kangcono ukujabula kwakho.

Ukuphula umjikelezo

Iningi labazali abadlulisa imibono engafanele noma eyingozi mayelana nezocansi akusho ukulimaza. Bamane babelana ngezinkolelo abazifunda ngokwabo.

Lokhu kungadala izinkinga eziningi, ikakhulukazi lapho umjikelezo ulokhu uphinda.

Ukubhekana nengcindezelo yezocansi kuwe kungasiza, ikakhulukazi uma uhlela ukuba nezingane.

Futhi ungakhuthaza imibono enempilo ngezocansi ngokuthi:

• ukukhuluma ngocansi ngokwethembeka, ngendlela efanele iminyaka
• ukuveza izingane ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabantu babo bonke ubulili, ngokuphila kwangempela noma ngokuvezwa kwabezindaba
• ukufundisa izingane ukuthi ubudlelwano obunothando nezocansi buhle kanjani
• ukuhlinzeka ngezinsizakusebenza zokuqinisekisa ezinganeni ze-LGBTQIA +
• imvume yokufundisa kusukela ebuncaneni

Ungakutholaphi ukwesekwa?

Ukusebenza nomelaphi wezocansi onozwela kuyindlela enhle yokuqala yokubhekana nokucindezelwa ngokocansi.

Abanye abelaphi bezocansi bangasebenza ngokukhethekile ekucindezelweni okususelwa enkolweni, kanti abanye bagxila ekusizeni abantu be-LGBTQ + ukwamukela ubulili babo.

Ukusesha kwe-inthanethi okusheshayo kungakusiza ekutholeni owelapha ngocansi endaweni yangakini.

Esihlokweni esisondelene kangako, somuntu siqu, kubalulekile ukuthola umelaphi ongamvulela.

Kuyaqondakala ngokuphelele (futhi kujwayelekile) ukufuna ukuzama abelaphi abambalwa abahlukile. Bafuna uzizwe ukhululekile, nawe!

Ngaphandle kobudlelwano obuhle bokusebenza, ukwelashwa ngeke kube nenzuzo engako.

Okubalulekile

Ukulindelwa ngokwenkolo noma kwezenhlalo ngokuziphatha kocansi kungaholela ekubeni necala kwezocansi kanye nehlazo, noma ngabe ubulili noma ungubani, kepha lokhu yinto ongayinqoba ngokuphelele.

Ukufinyelela kumelaphi wezocansi oqeqeshiwe imvamisa kuyisinyathelo sokuqala esiwusizo.

UCrystal Raypole wake wasebenza njengombhali nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Imikhakha yakhe enentshisekelo ifaka izilimi nezincwadi zase-Asia, ukuhunyushwa kwesiJapane, ukupheka, isayensi yemvelo, ukuzethemba ngocansi, nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukhethekile, uzibophezele ekusizeni ukunciphisa ukucwaswa okuzungeze izingqinamba zezempilo yengqondo.