Ukuthi Ngafika Kanjani Emigomweni "Yokulahlekelwa" Udadewethu KuSoul Mate Mate Yakhe

-Delile

• Udadewethu ... kanye noDave
• Ukuthola Ukwamukelwa
• Manje, Ubuhlobo Bethu Obusha
• Buyekeza kwe-

Kwakuyiminyaka eyisikhombisa eyedlule, kepha ngisakukhumbula njengayizolo: Ngangicasuke kakhulu ukuthi ngethuke lapho ngintanta ngasemuva komfula ngilinde ukutakulwa. Emizuzwini edlule, i-kayak yethu yabantu ababili yayigingqikile eMfuleni iDart ngaphandle nje kweQueenstown, eNew Zealand, nodadewethu, uMaria, ungikhalela ngisogwini lolwandle. Lapho amakhono ethu okuphonsa izintambo komqondisi wethu osemusha esilela, ubaba onesibindi waseJapan, ethokozela uhambo olufanayo lwe-kayaking nonkosikazi wakhe namantombazane amabili amancane, umi afike okhalweni emanzini futhi angilule isandla lapho ngihamba ngesikebhe. Ubamba ibhantshi lami lokuziphilisa futhi engihudulela ogwini olunamatshe aluhlaza. Ngiqhaqhazele futhi ngiqine ngize ngifike ethanjeni, angipholi kuze kufike uMaria egijima ezonganga.

"Kulungile sisi wami" elokhu ehlebeza kaningi. "Kulungile. Ngiyakuthanda, ngiyakuthanda." Yize emdala kimi ngezinyanga eziyi-17 kuphela, ungudadewethu omkhulu, uhlelo lwami lokungeseka, nawo wonke umndeni enginawo kulolu hambo lwamasonto amabili oluphakathi nendawo emhlabeni usuka ekhaya lethu e-NYC. Okunezela ekusweleni kwami ​​ukuthi sinezinsuku ezimbili nje kuphela ukusuka kuKhisimusi wethu wokuqala kude nabazali bethu. Isikhathi seholide asilungile, kodwa lapho ngithola isabelo sokuhamba eNew Zealand ngalowo Disemba, ngagxumela kuso futhi ngahlukanisa izindleko zikadadewethu ukuze akwazi ukungijoyina. (Okuhlobene: Kungani Kufanele Wengeze Uhambo Lomama Nendodakazi Ohlwini Lwakho Lwebhakede Lokuvakasha)

Ukwangiwa kwakhe okufudumele kungibuyisela eqinisweni kancane kancane, kumisa umzimba wami ekuqhaqhazeleni, futhi kudambisa imicabango yami yokugijima. Okuhle kunakho konke, kungenza ngizizwe ngisondelene naye kunalokho ebenginakho ezinyangeni.

Udadewethu ... kanye noDave

Ungangizwa kabi, mina noMaria sisondelene kakhulu. Ngathutha izitezi ezimbili ngaphezu kwakhe esakhiweni sethu sefulethi eBrooklyn cishe eminyakeni emibili edlule, ngemuva kohambo lwethu lodadewethu wokuqala ngqa e-Argentina. Amaviki ethu amabili sindawonye eNingizimu Melika asiphoqa ukuthi sibeke eceleni ukuphila kwethu okumatasa, okugxile emisebenzini yethu futhi senze isikhathi esingama-24/7 somunye, okwasisiza ukuthi siphinde sixhumane ngendlela esasingakaze siyenze selokhu saphuma ekhaya labazali bethu. ngemva kwekolishi, cishe eminyakeni eyishumi ngaphambili. Impumelelo yalolo hambo isiholele ekutheni sibe nokuzidela okuningi ndawonye, ​​kufaka phakathi i-jaunt eHawaii kanye neNew Zealand.Ukunaka kwakhe okugcwele nothando olungenamibandela osebeni lomfula obandayo ngaleyontambama yilokho kanye engikudinga kulolu hambo, ikakhulukazi njengoba ngangizwe sengathi ngisanda kwehlisa inothi ohlwini luka-Maria olubalulekile. (Okuhlobene: Owesifazane Omunye Uhlanganyela Ukuthi Usuku Lomama Luguquke Kanjani Kuye Kusukela Ekulahlekelweni Umama Wakhe)

Bengihlala ngazi ukuthi ukwabelana ngomuntu engimthandayo kule planethi — kanye nengane yakithi kuphela enginaye — nomlingani wakhe bekuzoba nzima. Okwenza izinto zaba zimbi kakhulu ukuthi isoka lakhe elisha, uDave, ubethandeka ngokuphelele kusukela ngosuku lokuqala, engafuni lutho ngaphandle kokungithatha njengodadewabo, nami. Grrreat. Umusa wakhe nokwamukela kwami ​​ngokuphelele nezindlela zami zokufuna ngenkani ("Ngicela ukuba nesikhathi sodadewethu ngedwa ngaphandle wena? U-Aka, Shiya. ") Wenze kube nzima ukungamthandi. Hhayi ukuthi ngifuna. Kubalulekile ukujabula ngodadewethu, ogcine etholile" indoda yakhe, "njengoba esho, kepha noma kunjalo, angikaze ngicabange ukuthi ukuthola kwakhe "lowo" kungasho ukuthi ngeke ngisaba nguye inombolo eyodwa. (Okuhlobene: Isici Esisodwa Esinesibopho Kakhulu Ngenjabulo Yakho)

Ngiyazi ukuthi kuzwakala sengathi nginomona, futhi lokho cishe kuyiqiniso njengoba ngingakabi nawo eyami lobster. Kodwa okungimangaza kakhulu ukuthi ngizizwa nginoMaria wami kakhulu kunangaphambili. Okuhlukile manje ukuthi sesikhulile futhi sincike kakhulu komunye nomunye, ikakhulukazi njengoba abazali bethu sebekhulile futhi ekugcineni bezodinga umzamo omkhulu wokubambisana wokubanakekela. Ngaphandle kwalokho, u-Maria yilokho ukwanga okuhlala kukhona okucindezela usizi lwami ngokushintsha umsebenzi, ukuhlukana, ukulwa nabangane, nokuningi. Njalo lapho nganga abanye, kufaka phakathi abantu engingabazi (nami ngingamukela kakhulu!), Akukho lutho oluzwakala njengokuvikela, ukuthanda, ukwamukela, nokulunga njengokubamba kwakhe.

Futhi manje ubambe uDave. Njengaso sonke isikhathi.

Ukuthola Ukwamukelwa

Futhi akukho ukuphela okuseduze okubonakalayo, kepha kunalokho ukuqinisekisa okuqhubekayo kokuthi uDave akayi ndawo, okuguqukayo konke phakathi kodade. Ngokuphazima kweso, uDave uzoba — futhi ubelokhu ekhona selokhu bahlangana nalolo Suku Lwabasebenzi olunenhlekelele — ezobekwa phambili kuye. (Okuhlobene: Isayensi Ithi Ubungani Bungukhiye Wempilo Ehlala Njalo Nenjabulo)

“Lena inkinga ejabulisayo, kodwa inguquko enzima okungekho muntu okhuluma ngayo,” kweluleka umzala wami ohlakaniphile, uRichard, owabhekana nesimo esifanayo nomfowabo omdala, uMichael. Ukubuka uMichael eshada, ethuthela ekhaya eNew Jersey futhi abe nezingane ezintathu ezinhle kwaba inselele ngokufanayo kuRichard, hhayi ngoba engashadile njengami. Kwaba "inguquko," njengoba eyibiza kanjalo, yokulahlekelwa yilungu lomndeni (nomngani omkhulu) emndenini wabo omusha. Oshade naye uthatha indima yengane yakini ngezindlela eziningi, ukuba umgcini-mfihlo, ibhodi elizwakalayo, ihlaya langaphakathi, umeluleki wemfashini nezezimali, i-cookie-splitter, i-hugger, nokunye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, oshade naye unikeza izinto ingane yakini engenakukwazi ukuyenza. Ngakho awukho umncintiswano. Hhayi ukuthi ngithi umncintiswano (kodwa ngokuphelele).

Ngiyazicabangela mina? Kungenzeka. Kepha lokho ngukunethezeka engingakukhokhela njengowesifazane ongashadile ongenazo izibopho kunoma ngubani ngaphandle kwe-moi. Ukufunda ukwabelana naye kuzothatha isikhathi, futhi angikho lapho. Ngisondele ekuyekeni, kodwa ngesaba ukuthi angisoze ngakujwayela ngokuphelele ukuba yilungu lomndeni elingeyona into esheshayo, noma ngabe nginomlingani wami nezingane zami. Okufanele ngizikhumbuze ngakho ukuthi isibopho sezingane zakwethu sijule kakhulu futhi sihlala njalo, asikho isidingo sokubuza noma ngizwe sengathi ngiyashintshwa. Futhi ngoba sobabili sikwiminyaka yethu yama-30 futhi akekho noyedwa wethu othole "abasha," kungangqubuzana nokuthi sibe nesikhathi esithe xaxa kunokuningi ukuqinisa ukuxhumana kwethu nokwakha izinkumbulo.

Manje, Ubuhlobo Bethu Obusha

Udadewethu noDave bashada eminyakeni emithathu ngemva kohambo lwethu lwaseNew Zealand futhi ekugcineni bathuthela eWashington, D.C., lapho uMaria enenkampani yemidlalo yeshashalazi. Uphumelele kakhulu futhi uzakhele impilo enhle lapho. Ngenkathi i-COVID-19 okwamanje imise okwesikhashana uhambo lwethu, uMaria ubekade eza e-NYC ezobona imibukiso yomsebenzi futhi ezohlala nami efulethini lami laseBrooklyn njalo ngenyanga. Siphuza ikhofi, sibize abazali bethu, sihambehamba, sibuke i-TV ... bekumnandi. Ngimkhumbula kakhulu (kwesinye isikhathi, kubuhlungu kakhulu), kepha manje ngizama ukugxila kokwami ​​okubaluleke kakhulu, kufaka phakathi nokuthuthela eCalifornia wami umlingani uma sesikolunye uhlangothi lwalesi sifo.

Ngenkathi ngilungiselela lesi sikhathi esinqamula ezweni, umngane wami omkhulu ebuntwaneni, uTatiana, wangikhumbuza ngesidlo sakusihlwa ngelinye ilanga ngalomuzwa ojulile engawuzwa eminyakeni edlule noMaria. Ungitshela ukuthi uyajabula ukuthi ngihlangane nale ndoda enhle kangaka futhi uyayisekela le adventure entsha ethokozisayo, kodwa futhi uzizwa enomona futhi edabukile.

"Unomona?" Ngiyabuza, ngimangazwe ukukhetha kwakhe igama njengoba eseneminyaka eyi-14 ejabule emshadweni. "Kufana nokudabukisayo," ugcizelela ngokuziqhenya okumangalisayo, ebona ukuthi izinto engizibeka phambili sezishintshile, futhi kunzima. "Ngijabule kakhulu ngawe. Lokhu ubukade ukufuna isikhathi eside. Kodwa, ngasikhathi sinye, ngibona sengathi ngilahlekelwa nguwe. Izinto ngeke ziphinde zifane."

Yebo, kuzohluka futhi mhlawumbe kube kuhle, kepha kungafani ncamashi. Ngidonsa umoya kakhulu bese ngiyaduma njengoba ngihlanganyela naye ukucaphuna engisanda kukufunda encwadini kaLori Gottlieb ethengisa kakhulu, Mhlawumbe Kufanele Ukhulume Nothile: "nganoma yiluphi ushintsho-ngisho nokuhle, ushintsho oluhle-luza ukulahleka." Ngiyakwazi ukulandisa, dadewethu.

Buyekeza kwe-