Ayikho Into Enjengomzali Ophelele

-Delile

• Bayeke benze amaphutha
• Akuzona izingane kuphela ezidinga ukukhunjuzwa
• Abazali Abasemsebenzini: Abasebenza Ngaphambili

I-My Life Engaphelele Yomama akuyona nje igama lale kholamu. Kungukuvuma ukuthi ukuphelela akuyona neze inhloso.

Njengoba ngibheka nxazonke kimi ukuthi kwenzekani emhlabeni futhi ngibona ukuthi sisebenza kanzima kangakanani ukuthola impilo nsuku zonke - ikakhulukazi abazali - ngibona sengathi lesi yisikhathi esifanele sokuthumela isikhumbuzi sokuthi kulungile uma singakwenzi .

Akunakwenzeka ngisho nokuthola konke okulungile ngamaphesenti ayi-100 wesikhathi.

Ngakho-ke yeka ukufaka lolu hlobo lwengcindezi engasile kuwe ukufeza okungenakufinyeleleka.

Okuxakayo ngukuthi, okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi sizinikeze imvume yokuphambanisa izinto endleleni.

Yebo, nanjengabazali. Ngoba ngokuphambene nokulandisa abantu abaningi abakufundisiwe ngokubaluleka kokuba "abaphelele," empeleni kuyinganekwane. Futhi lapho sisusa ngokushesha leyo nganekwane futhi samukele ukungapheleli kwethu okuphelele, ngokushesha sizovula amandla ethu weqiniso futhi sichume ngempela.

Iqiniso liwukuthi, sonke siyesaba ukukhuphuka ezingeni elithile, nami ngifakiwe. Ngoba akekho ofuna ukubukeka noma azizwe engafaneleki, engenakuthola, noma oyisiwula. Ikakhulukazi umzali.

Kepha iqiniso liwukuthi, akekho kithi ozobopha yonke into ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi ngeke sibe nazo zonke izimpendulo.

Sizosho futhi senze okungalungile kakhulu, kodwa kulungile. Njengokuthi, kunjalo ngempela KULUNGILE.

Ngakho-ke, zenzele umusa maduze kunalokho bese ufaka lelo zwi eliphikisayo ekhanda lakho elithi amaphutha mabi ngezwi elinamandla, elinamandla athewa ukuthi amaphutha empeleni liyisango lokushintsha nempumelelo nobukhulu.

Ngoba lapho sikukholwa lokho futhi silingisa lokho - futhi ekugcineni sifundisa lokho - ezinganeni zethu, yilokho okuguqula umdlalo.

Ngicabanga ukuthi umbhali waseBrithani uNeil Gaiman uthe kungcono:

“… Uma wenza amaphutha, lapho-ke wenza izinto ezintsha, uzama izinto ezintsha, uyafunda, uyaphila, uyazicindezela, uyaziguqula, uguqula umhlaba wakho. Wenza izinto ongakaze uzenze phambilini, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, Wenza Okuthile.“

Futhi konke lokho kuyiqiniso kubuzali.

Futhi yize ngazi ukuthi sobabili ngokuqaphela nangokuqonda sonke silwela ukuba ngabazali abaphelele futhi sikhulise izingane eziphelele, akunakwenzeka.

Bayeke benze amaphutha

Ngakho-ke, nansi isiphakamiso esilula esivela kumama wamadodakazi amabili angama-20 asebe kule nto yokuba ngumzali isikhathi esingaphezu kwamashumi amabili eminyaka: Kulungile ukuzinika thina, njengabazali, ukukhanya okuluhlaza ukwenza amaphutha ngendlela efanayo naleyo okufanele senze ngayo nikeza izingane zethu imvume yokwenza okufanayo. Ngoba yilokho indlela eyisisekelo sonke esifundela ukubekezela.

Kusukela lapho ngibona khona njengomzali, owayenguthisha, umbhali wokuba ngumzali, umbhali wephephabhuku, nomethuli wohlelo lomsakazo, ngibona umhlaba ugcwele izingane ezikhathazayo, abaningi abazulazula endleleni yabo yokuphila ngaphansi kakhulu umcabango ongamanga wokuthi ukuze bathuthuke kulo mhlaba, badinga ukuphelela, badlalele iqembu le-varsity, babe kuwo wonke amakilasi we-AP, futhi baqoqe ama-SAT abo.

Futhi qagela ukuthi bakukhetha kubani lokho? Qagela ukuthi ubani osetha leyo bha iphakeme ngokungafinyeleleki?

Yithina. Yithina esisiza izingane zethu ukuba zibhale leyo ndaba futhi ziyabakhubaza ngoba kuyindlela endala futhi engenakwenzeka yokucabanga ebeka kuphela izingane zethu ukuthi ziphihlize lapho zishaya phansi.

Bheka, sonke sifuna okungcono kakhulu ezinganeni zethu. Ngokusobala. Sifuna baphumelele futhi baphumelele futhi baphumelele, kodwa ngeke bakwenze lokho ngokwejubane lomunye umuntu - bazokwenza kuphela lapho sebekulungele. Ukuzama ukuyiphoqa kudala kuphela ubutha phakathi kwakho nabo.

Ukusetha okulindelwe ngokungafanele ngokuya ngokuthi ezinye izingane zikhula kanjani akunangqondo futhi kubeka isibonelo esibi. Okusho ukuthi ncamashi kungani sidinga ukwamukela izingane zethu ngqo lapho zikhona. (Futhi wenze okufanayo nakithi.)

Sidinga ukuvumela izingane zethu zizwe ukwesekwa kwethu nokubekezela kwethu, ngoba lapho zazi ukuthi zinakho lokho, yilapho ziqala ukuqhakaza khona. Futhi lapho becabanga ukuthi abanakho ukwesekwa nokwamukelwa kwethu, kulapho befuna khona.

Kulapho izingane zethu ziqala ukunaka kakhulu kulokho okwenziwa yiwo wonke umuntu okuzungezile lapho kuvela khona ubunzima besikhathi esikhulu. Futhi kungashiwo okufanayo nangathi njengabazali.

Akuzona izingane kuphela ezidinga ukukhunjuzwa

Enye into esidinga ukuyigwema nje okubaluleke njengokungalinganisi izingane zethu nezinye izingane, akukhona ukuzilinganisa nabanye abazali. Ngoba ngikholwe, uzothanda. Kakhulu.

Ikakhulukazi uma izingane zakho zifika esikoleni futhi uchayeka kuzo zonke izinhlobo zabazali. Melana naleso sifiso, ngoba kuzokwenza uziqaphele zonke izinqumo ozenzayo. Ukungasho ukuthi ukuziqhathanisa nabanye abazali kuzokwenza angikaze kukwenze umzali ongcono.

Futhi kunzima, ngiyazi, ngoba lapho uqala ukuxhumana nabanye omama nobaba nezingane nsuku zonke, isilingo siphezulu ukuzikala nesitayela sakho sokuba ngumzali kubo bonke abanye abazali ohlangana nabo.

Ufunda ukuthi zingaki izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zabazali nezitayela zokukhulisa izingane ezikhona lapho, okuholela ekutheni ungabaze ukuthi uzikhulisa kanjani izingane zakho.

Uzozibamba uzama ukuvumelanisa zonke izindlela abanye abazali abazisebenzisayo, ulindele ukuthi uzoba nemiphumela efanayo.

Futhi ngenkathi abanye bezosebenza, abanye bazoba amaqhawe behluleka - kuqinisekisiwe. Futhi lokho kungaholela ekwenzeni izinqumo ezimbi zokuba ngumzali ngokuya kuphela ngokuthi okuthile kusebenze kanjani komunye umuntu, okuyizimungulu nje. Yingakho udinga ukumelana nesifiso sokulandela.

Ngakho-ke, khumbula, njengoba uqala lolu hambo olude futhi oluhle futhi oluyinselele njalo, ijika lokufunda kithi njengabazali licishe libe libanzi njengoba kunjalo ngezingane zethu.

Ngoba ayikho indlela ephelele, ayikho ingane ephelele, futhi nakanjani akekho umzali ophelele.

Yingakho ngima ngiqinile emqondweni wokuthi into enkulu kunazo zonke noma ubani wethu angayenza njengabazali (nabantu) ukuzivumela thina abaxegayo ukuba sengozini futhi siwe phansi futhi sihluleke.

Ngoba lokho, bangani, iyona ndlela esifunda ngayo ukuthi singasukuma kanjani, siqhubeke siye phambili, futhi siyipikili ngokuzayo ngokuzayo.

Abazali Abasemsebenzini: Abasebenza Ngaphambili

ULisa Sugarman ungumbhali ongumzali, umbhali wephephandaba, nomsakazi wohlelo lomsakazo ohlala enyakatho neBoston nomyeni wakhe namadodakazi amabili asekhulile. Ubhala ikholomu yombono ohlangene kazwelonke ethi It Is What It It futhi ungumbhali wencwadi ethi “How to Raise Perfectly Imper Kids And Be Ok With It,” “Untying Parent Anxiety,” ne- “LIFE: It Is What It Is.” ULisa ubuye abe ngumhlanganyeli we-LIFE UNfiltered eNorthshore 104.9FM futhi ube nesandla esivamile kwiGrownAndFlown, Thrive Global, Care.com, LittleThings, More Content Now, nakuToday.com. Mvakashele ku-sisasugarman.com.