Ngicela Uyeke Ukucabanga Ngokucindezeleka Kwami Okusebenza Kakhulu Kungenza Ngibe Lazy

-Delile

• Ukucindezeleka kunobuso obuningi
• Cha, angikwazi "ukudlula nje"
• Abantu abasebenza kakhulu badinga ukwelashwa kwengcindezi futhi
• Umgwaqo ongaphambili

Sifaka imikhiqizo esicabanga ukuthi ilusizo kubafundi bethu. Uma uthenga ngezixhumanisi ezikuleli khasi, singathola ikhomishini encane. Nansi inqubo yethu.

KungoMsombuluko. Ngivuka ngo-4: 30 ekuseni ngiye ejimini, ngibuyele ekhaya, ngigeze, bese ngiqala ukubhala indaba efanele usuku. Ngizwa umyeni wami eqala ukudlikizela, ngakho-ke ngihambela phezulu ukuxoxa naye ngenkathi elungiselela usuku.

Okwamanje, indodakazi yethu iyavuka ngiyizwe icula ngokujabula embhedeni ithi: “Mama!” Ngikha uClaire embhedeni wakhe bese sihamba ezansi siyokwenza ibhulakufesi. Sinyonyobelana kusofa futhi ngiphefumula iphunga elimnandi lezinwele zakhe ngenkathi edla.

Ngo-7: 30 ekuseni, ngibe sengicindezele ukuzivocavoca umzimba, ngagqoka, ngenza umsebenzi omncane, nganga umyeni wami wavalelisa futhi ngaqala usuku lwami nengane yami encane.

Futhi-ke ukucindezeleka kwami ​​kungena ngaphakathi.

Ukucindezeleka kunobuso obuningi

"Ukudangala kuthinta bonke ubuntu futhi kungabukeka kwehluke kakhulu kubantu abahlukahlukene," kusho uJodi Aman, udokotela wezifo zengqondo nomlobi we "You 1, Anxiety 0: Win Your Life Back from Fear and Panic."

"Umuntu osebenza kakhulu angahlupheka ngokungabonakali," esho.

Ngokombiko wango-2015 we-Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, abantu abalinganiselwa ezigidini ezi-6.1 abaneminyaka yobudala eyi-18 noma ngaphezulu e-United States babeneziqephu okungenani eyodwa zokucindezeleka ngonyaka odlule. Le nombolo imele amaphesenti ama-6.7 abo bonke abantu abadala base-U.S. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izinkinga zokukhathazeka yizifo ezivame kakhulu ezingokwengqondo e-United States, ezithinta abantu abadala abayizigidi ezingama-40 kwabaneminyaka engu-18 nangaphezulu, noma amaphesenti ayi-18 wabantu.

Kepha ochwepheshe abaningi bezempilo yengqondo bayashesha ukuveza ukuthi, ngenkathi lezi zinombolo zibonisa ukujwayeleka kokucindezeleka nezinye izimo, indlela abantu abahlangabezana ngayo nezimpawu yehlukile.Ukudana komqondo kungahle kungabi sobala njalo kulabo abaseduze kwakho, futhi sidinga ukukhuluma ngemiphumela yalokhu.

“Ukudana kungasivimba isifiso sokwenza izinto, kodwa abantu abasebenza kahle bathambekele ekuqhubekeni phambili ngomzamo wokuphumelela ngezinhloso,” kusho uMayra Mendez, PhD, udokotela wezifo zengqondo kanye nomxhumanisi wohlelo lokukhubazeka kobuhlakani nentuthuko kanye nezinsizakalo zezempilo yengqondo eProvidence Saint John's Child and Family Development Center eSanta Monica, eCalifornia. "Umdlandla wokufeza uvame ukuxhasa isenzo futhi ushukumisele abantu abasebenza kahle ekwenzeni izinto."

Lokhu kusho ukuthi abanye abantu abanengcindezi bangaqhubeka nokwenza imisebenzi yansuku zonke - futhi kwesinye isikhathi eyehlukile -. UMendez ukhomba kubantu ababalulekile abathi babenokudangala, kubandakanya uWinston Churchill, u-Emily Dickinson, uCharles M. Schultz, no-Owen Wilson njengezibonelo ezinhle.

Cha, angikwazi "ukudlula nje"

Ngiphile nokuxineka nokukhathazeka iningi lempilo yami yokuba mdala. Lapho abantu bezwa ngomshikashika wami, ngivame ukuhlangana no "bengingakaze ngikuqagele lokho ngawe!"

Yize laba bantu bevame ukuba nezinhloso ezinhle futhi kungenzeka bangazi okuningi ngokugula kwengqondo, engikuzwayo ngalezo zikhathi ukuthi: wena ukucindezeleka mayelana? ” noma “Yini engaba yimbi kangako mayelana eyakho impilo? ”

Lokho abantu abangaqapheli ukuthi ukulwa nesimo sempilo yengqondo kuvame ukwenziwa ngaphakathi - nokuthi labo esibhekene nabo basebenzisa isikhathi esiningi sizibuza leyo mibuzo.

"Umbono oyiphutha wokucindezeleka ukuthi ungamane usheshe uphume kukho noma ukuthi kwenzeke okuthile okuzokwenza uzizwe ucindezelekile," kusho uKathryn Moore, PhD, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo eProvidence Saint John's Child and Family Development Centre eSanta Monica, eCalifornia.

“Uma ucindezelekile emtholampilo, uzizwa udabuke kakhulu noma ungenathemba ngaphandle kwesizathu sangaphandle. Ukudangala kungaba yinto engejwayelekile yokungajabuli okungapheli ngempilo, noma kungaba yimizwa ejulile yokuphelelwa yithemba nemicabango emibi ngawe kanye nempilo yakho, ”uyanezela.

UMendez uyavuma, wengeza ngokuthi inkolelo eyiphutha mayelana nokudangala ukuthi yisimo sengqondo ongasilawula ngokucabanga okuhle. Akunjalo, uthi.

"Ukudangala yisimo sezokwelapha esivela ukungalingani kwamakhemikhali, kwebhayoloji, nokwakheka okunomthelela ekulawulweni kwemizwelo," kuchaza uMendez. “Ziningi izinto ezinomthelela ekucindezelekeni, futhi asikho nesinye isici esibangela izimpawu zokucindezeleka. Ukucindezeleka akukwazi ukususwa yimicabango emihle. ”

UMendez ubala eminye imibono eyiphutha elimazayo mayelana nokudangala, kufaka phakathi "ukucindezeleka kuyinto efanayo nokudabuka" futhi "ukucindezeleka kuzozihambela ngokwakho."

"Ukudabuka kungumzwelo ojwayelekile futhi kulindelwe ezimweni zokulahlekelwa, zokushintsha, noma zokuhlangenwe nakho okunzima empilweni," esho. “Ukucindezeleka yisimo esikhona ngaphandle kwezimbangela futhi esihlala isikhathi eside size sidinge ukwelashwa. Ukucindezeleka kungaphezu kokudabuka ngezikhathi ezithile. Ukucindezeleka kuhilela izikhathi zokuphelelwa yithemba, ukukhathala, ukungabi nalutho, ukungabi namandla, ukucasuka, nezinkinga zokugxila nasekugxileni. ”

Kimina, ukudangala kaningi kuzwakala sengathi ngibuka impilo yomunye umuntu, kucishe kube sengathi ngizulazula ngaphezu komzimba wami. Ngiyazi ukuthi ngenza zonke izinto engifanele "ukuzenza" futhi ngimamatheka ngobuqotho ngezinto engizijabulelayo, kepha ngishiywa njalo ngizwa njengomkhohlisi. Kufana nomuzwa umuntu angahlangabezana nawo lapho behleka okokuqala ngemuva kokulahlekelwa othandekayo. Injabulo yesikhashana ikhona, kepha isibhakela esiswini asikude kakhulu.

Abantu abasebenza kakhulu badinga ukwelashwa kwengcindezi futhi

UMorell uthi ukwelashwa yindawo engcono kakhulu umuntu angaqala ngayo ukwelashwa uma ehlangabezana nezimpawu zokucindezeleka.

“Abelaphi bangasiza umuntu ukuthi abone imicabango emibi, izinkolelo nemikhuba engaba nomthelela ekucindezelekeni. Kungabandakanya izinto ezifana nemithi, ukufunda amakhono okucabanga, nokwenza imisebenzi ehlangene nokwenza imizwa ibe ngcono, njengokuzivocavoca umzimba, ”usho kanje.

UJohn Huber, PsyD, we-Mainstream Mental Health naye uphakamisa ukuphuma “ebhokisini lakho lokunethezeka,” ikakhulukazi uma umuntu ephuza ngokweqile.

"Yize abaholi abaphumelelayo futhi kaningi emikhakheni yabo, laba bantu [baqhuba izimpilo zabo] kufana nokugijima umjaho ngebhande lesisindo elithwala amakhilogremu ayikhulu," esho. Ukwehlisa umthwalo, uHuber uthi, cabanga ukukhipha izixhumi kumadivayisi, ukuphuma uye koshaywa umoya, noma ukwenza umsebenzi omusha. Ucwaningo luye lwathola ukuthi ukwenza umsebenzi wobuciko kungaba nezinzuzo ezethembisayo kulabo ababhekene nokudangala.

Ngokuqondene nombono wami ongewona owezokwelapha: Khuluma ngokudangala kwakho ngangokunokwenzeka. Ekuqaleni, ngeke kube lula futhi ungahle ukhathazeke ngokuthi abantu bazocabangani. Kepha khetha ilungu lomndeni elithenjiwe, umngani, noma uchwepheshe futhi uzofunda ukuthi abantu abaningi babelana ngomuzwa ofanayo. Ukukhuluma ngakho kunciphisa ukuhlukaniswa okubangelwa ukufaka ngaphakathi isimo sempilo yakho yengqondo.

Ngoba noma ngabe unjani ubuso bokudangala kwakho, kuhlala kulula ukubheka esibukweni lapho kunehlombe lokuncika emi eceleni kwakho.

Umgwaqo ongaphambili

Emkhakheni wezempilo yengqondo, kusekuningi kakhulu esingakwazi. Kodwa esikwaziyo ukuthi ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka kokukhathazeka kuthinta abantu abaningi kakhulu emphakathini wethu ukuze bahlale bengazi lutho ngabo.

Ukudangala akwenzi ukuba ngibe livila, ukungabi nabantu, noma umngani omubi nomama. Futhi ngenkathi ngenza izinto eziningi kakhulu, anginakunqotshwa. Ngiyabona ukuthi ngidinga usizo nohlelo lokusekela.

Futhi kulungile.

Ukubhalwa kukaCaroline Shannon-Karasik kufakwe ezincwadini eziningi, kufaka phakathi: Ukugcinwa Kwezindlu Okuhle, iRedbook, Ukuvimbela, iVegNews, kanye nomagazini beKiwi, kanye neSheKnows.com neEatClean.com. Njengamanje ubhala iqoqo lama-eseyi. Okuningi kungatholakala ku- carolineshannon.com. UCaroline angatholakala naku-Instagram @imvusex.