Ukuthi Kunjani Ngempela Ukusiza Abangazi Abazibulalayo

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UDanielle * unguthisha wesikole samabanga aphezulu oneminyaka engama-42 onedumela lokubuza abafundi bakhe ngemizwa yabo. "Imvamisa yimi othi, 'Awu, uzizwa kanjani?'" Uyabelana. "Yilokho nje engaziwa ngakho." UDanielle ucije amakhono akhe okulalela eminyakeni engaphezu kwengu-15 mhlawumbe okulalela kakhulu futhi okubaluleke kakhulu ekulaleleni okusebenzayo: ukuphendula izingcingo ezinombolweni yocingo yokuvimbela ukuzibulala yamahora angama-24 yamaSamariya, efake izingcingo ezingaphezu kwezigidi eziyi-1.2 eminyakeni engama-30 edlule . UDanielle uyavuma ukuthi yize umsebenzi ungakhathaza, ukhuthazwa ulwazi lokuthi unikeza ukusekelwa okungasindisa impilo kubantu angabazi ezikhathini ezinzima kakhulu zempilo yabo.

Umqondisi omkhulu wamaSamariya u-Alan Ross unanela uDanielle lapho egcizelela ubunzima bokuxhumana nalabo abasenkingeni. "Iminyaka engamashumi amathathu yokuhlangenwe nakho isifundise ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abantu banezinhloso ezinhle kangakanani, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isizinda sabo noma imfundo, abantu abaningi abalaleli abaphumelelayo futhi abakwenzi ukuziphatha okuyisisekelo okusebenzayo okuyisihluthulelo sokuxhumana nabantu, ikakhulukazi. labo abasosizini, "uyachaza. Nokho, uDanielle uyaqonda ukuthi indima yakhe akukhona ukunikeza iseluleko kodwa ukuphelezela. Sikhulume naye ngendlela yakhe yokwenza izingcingo, yiziphi azithola zinzima kakhulu nokuthi kungani eqhubeka nokuvolontiya.

Ube kanjani u-opharetha we-hotline?

"Sengihlale namaSamariya aseNew York cishe iminyaka eyi-15. Benginentshisekelo yokwenza umehluko ... Kwakunokuthile mayelana nokubona isikhangiso senombolo yocingo eyangidonsa iso. Nganginabangani ababezama ukuzibulala eminyakeni edlule, ngakho Ngicabanga ukuthi lokho bekucabanga nami kwesinye isikhathi, mayelana nokuthi singabasiza kanjani abantu ababhekene naleyo mizwa. "

Kwakunjani ukuqeqeshwa?

"Lolu qeqesho ludabukisa impela. Sidlala indawo enkulu futhi sizijwayeze, ngakho-ke ukhona lapho. Kuyiqeqesho elinamandla, futhi ngiyazi ukuthi abanye abantu abalwenzi. Kuthatha amasonto nezinyanga ezimbalwa- okokuqala, uhlobo oluthile lokuqeqeshwa ekilasini, bese uthola okuningi emsebenzini ngokugadwa. Kuphelele impela. "

Wake walingabaza ikhono lakho lokwenza lo msebenzi?

"Ngicabanga ukuthi ukuphela kwesikhathi lapho engake ngazizwa khona lapho okungenzeka ukuthi nganginezinto ezenzeka empilweni yami ezazinengcindezi noma ingqondo yami yayimatasa. Uma wenza lo msebenzi, udinga ukugxila futhi ulungele thatha noma yikuphi ukushaya ucingo-noma inini lolocingo lukhala, kufanele nje uthathe noma yini, ngakho uma ungekho endaweni efanele lokho, uma ikhanda lakho likwenye indawo, ngicabanga ukuthi leso yisikhathi sokuthi uthathe ikhefu noma uhambe.

"Asenzi amashifu sibuyela emuva; unesikhathi sokuhlaba ikhefu kukho, ngakho-ke akufani nomsebenzi wansuku zonke. Ukushintsha kungaba amahora amaningana ubude. Ngiphinde ngibe ngumphathi, ngakho-ke ngingumuntu ozoba khona ukuxoxa ngezingxoxo namavolontiya. Ngisanda kuqala futhi ukuhlanganisa iqembu lokusekelwa abanalo labantu abalahlekelwe othandekayo ukuzibulala-lokho kanye ngenyanga, ngakho ngenza njalo izinto ezahlukahlukene [kumaSamariya]. "

Kungaba kanjani ucingo oluthile lube nzima kumuntu oluthathayo?

“Kwesinye isikhathi, kunabantu abafonayo ngesimo esithile, njengokuhlukana noma ukuxoshwa noma ukuxabana nothile… Basenkingeni, futhi kudingeka bakhulume nothile. noma uhlobo oluthile lobuhlungu.Lolo uhlobo oluhlukile lwengxoxo.Ingaba ngayinye ibe nzima-ufuna ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi lowo muntu uyakwazi ukuveza indlela azizwa ngayo.Angase abe sesimweni esiphakeme somzwelo kanye nezinhlobonhlobo eziningi bangazizwa bebodwa ngempela. Sizama ukuqeda lokho kwehlukaniswa.

"Ngihlale ngicabanga ngakho njengokuzisiza ukuthi zidlule kuleso sikhathi. Kungase kube nzima-othile angase akhulume ngokulahlekelwa kwabo kwakamuva, othile oshonile, [futhi] mhlawumbe kukhona oshonile [kamuva nje empilweni yami]. Kungase kuqalise okuthile. noma kungaba umuntu osemusha [oshaye ucingo]. Kungase kube nzima ukuzwa ukuthi kukhona osemusha ohlupheka kangaka."

Ingabe inombolo yocingo imatasa kakhulu ngezikhathi ezithile kunezinye?

"Kukhona ukucabanga okujwayelekile kokuthi amaholidi kaDisemba abi kakhulu, [kodwa akulona iqiniso]. Kukhona ama-ebbs and flow. Ngivolontiye cishe kuwo wonke amaholidi - Umhla ka-4 kuJulayi, usuku olwandulela uNyaka Omusha, yonke into… Awukwazi nje ukukuqagela . "

Ungayichaza kanjani indlela yakho yokusiza abantu?

"AmaSamariya akholelwa ekutheni abantu bayakwazi ukuveza imicabango nemizwa yabo ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Akukona ukuthi 'kufanele,' 'unga,' 'wenze lokhu,' 'wenze lokho.' Asizelanga ukuzonikeza izeluleko; sifuna abantu babe nendawo lapho bezwakala khona futhi bakwazi ukubadlula kulowo mzuzu ... Kuqhubeka kube nokuxhumana nabantu abasempilweni yakho, ukukwazi nje ukuzwa ukuthi omunye umuntu uthini futhi baphendule, futhi ngethemba ukuthi nabo bazokwenza lokho, kodwa akubona bonke abaqeqeshiwe."

Yini ekugcina unikela ngokuzithandela?

"Okunye okungenze ngahlala namaSamariya ngalolu hlobo lomsebenzi ukuthi ngiyazi ukuthi angingedwa. Kuwumzamo wethimba, yize noma usocingweni, nguwe kanye nofonayo... yazi uma ngidinga uxhaso, nginakho ukusekela.Ngingadebrief noma yiluphi ucingo oluyinselelo noma ucingo oluvele lungishaye ngendlela ethile noma lucuphe okuthize.Kuhle, yilokho nathi esinakho empilweni: abantu abazosilalela. futhi ube khona futhi usekele.

"Umsebenzi obalulekile, umsebenzi oyinselele, futhi noma ngubani ofuna ukukuzama kufanele akufune. Uma kukufanele, kuzokwenza umehluko omkhulu empilweni yakho-ukuba ube khona kubantu njengoba bedlula Inkinga futhi abanaye omunye umuntu abangakhuluma naye. Uma ushintsho seluphelile, uzizwa ngathi, Yebo, lokho bekukukhulu ... Usukhathele nje, kodwa-ke kufana nokuthi, Kulungile, bengikhona kulabo bantu, futhi ngikwazi ukubasiza badlule kulowo mzuzu. Angikwazi ukushintsha impilo yabo, kodwa ngikwazile ukubalalela, futhi bezwakala. "

Igama lishintshiwe.

Le nhlolokhono ivele kwaRefinery29.

Ukuhlonipha iSonto Likazwelonke Lokuvimbela Ukuzibulala, eliqala ngoSepthemba 7-13, 2015, iRefinery29 ikhiqize uchungechunge lwezindaba ezicubungula ukuthi kunjani ukusebenza ku-hotline yokuzibulala, ucwaningo lwamanje ngamasu asebenza kakhulu wokuvimbela ukuzibulala, kanye umuzwa wokulahlekelwa yilungu lomndeni ngokuzibulala.

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