Kusho Ukuthini Ukuba Ngungqingili?

-Delile

• Kusho ukuthini i-pansexual?
• Ubungqingili ≠ polyamory
• I-Pansexual vs. bisexual
• Ingabe i-pansexuality ivame kangakanani?
• Ngazi kanjani ukuthi ngithanda abesilisa nabesifazane?
• Buyekeza kwe-

Izindlu zokuphehla amandla ezizenzele zona uTess Holliday, uJanelle Monea, uBella Thorne, uMiley Cyrus, noKesha banyakazisa izifunzo zakho zenhlalo kanye nesiteji ngobubi babo, ubuqiniso, ithalente kanye ... nokuziqhenya nge-pansexual! Yebo, ufunda lelo lungelo. Zonke lezi zingane ezishintsha umhlaba zikhomba njenge-pansexual.

Igama elithi 'pansexual' belilokhu likhona futhi lisetshenziswa iminyaka eminingi-eminingi-eminingi, ngokusho kobulili, ubulili, nomcwaningi wohlanga uDella V. Mosley, Ph.D., umsizi kaprofesa wezengqondo e-University of Florida. Kodwa uma ngokuzumayo uzwa okwengeziwe futhi uzibuza ukuthi kusho ukuthini i-pansexual, awucabangi. UMosley ucabanga ukuthi, ngenxa yokuthi kube "nenani elikhulayo losaziwayo abathandana nabobulili obufanayo ngaphandle kokuzibiza ngama-pansexual, kube nokwanda kokuchayeka kuleli gama." Iqiniso elijabulisayo: Kukhona ngisho nefulegi elithile le-pansexual elihlanganisa umugqa ophinki, ophuzi, noluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka.

Noma kunjalo, ukukwazi ukufaka ohlwini lwabanye osaziwayo abathandana nabobulili obufanayo kuhlukile ekwazini ukuthi kusho ukuthini. Uma unwaya ikhanda lakho uzibuza, "yini i-pansexual?" ufike endaweni efanele. Ngezansi, uMosley noJamie LeClaire, uthisha wezocansi ogxile kwezocansi nobulili, phendula yonke imibuzo yakho, kufaka phakathi: Buyini ubulili? Uyini umehluko phakathi kwe-pansexual ne-bisexual? Wazi kanjani ukuthi une-pansexual?

Kusho ukuthini i-pansexual?

Ngokwengxenye, incazelo yegama elithi "pansexual" incike ekutheni ubuza bani. Kungenxa yokuthi ayikho eyodwa, kodwa ezimbili Izincazelo ezamukelwa kabanzi ze-pansexual, kusho uMosley.

"Kwesinye isikhathi i-pansexuality ichazwa njengokukhangwa kothilekungakhathaliseki ngobulili babo noma ubulili babo, "usho kanje." Ngezinye izikhathi kuchazwa njengokuhehakonke ubunikazi bobulili noma ubulili," esho, okukhomba ngokusobala isiqalo esithi "pan-", okusho ukuthi "konke."

Zombili izincazelo ze-pansexual zivuma ukuthi ubunikazi bobulili bukhona ku-spectrum. Okusho, kunokukhawulelwa ku-just indoda futhiowesifazane, ubunikazi bobulili bomuntu futhi bungaba yi-agender, i-androgynous, i-bigender, noma i-fluid-fluid, i-sex-queer, noma engeyona kanambambili (uma sibala nje ezimbalwa). Futhi i-pansexuality isho ukuthi ungakhangwa abantu abakhomba njenge / nganoma iyiphi yalezi zimpawu zobulili. (Bheka okwengeziwe: Ukuthi Kusho Ukuthini Ngempela Ukuba Uketshezi Lobulili Noma Ukubona Njengokungekona Umambambili)

Ngakho, ngamafuphi, yini i-pansexual? "Ukuba ocansini nomuntu ongathandani naye kumane kusho ukuthi uyakwazi ukuheha othile nokuthi akuxhomekile ebulilini noma esithweni sangasese," kusho uLeClaire. Empeleni, abantu abathanda ucansi bangakwazi ukubona i-heart-eye-emoji kumuntu wanoma yikuphi ukukhetha okushiwo ubulili, ubunikazi bobulili, isethulo sobulili, noma ubulili (okubizwa nangokuthi izitho zangasese).

Futhi, cha, ukuba ocansiniakunjalo kusho ukuthi uzolala nanoma ngubani.

Uma ufunda lokho njengokukhuluma ngezandla, ukufunda kahle. “Abantu abathanda ucansi babhekana kakhulu nale nganekwane uma bedalula ukuthi bangobani kubantu abangazi ukuthi kusho ukuthini,” kusho uMosley. Kepha ubungqingili abufani nobufebe noma ucansi. (Okuhlobene: Uvame Kangakanani Wonke Umuntu Ukwenza Ucansi?)

Ubungqingili ≠ polyamory

UMosley uthi enye inkolelo evamile ayizwayo mayelana nobulili obufanayo ukuthi elinye igama elisho nge-polyamory. Akunjalo.

"I-Polyamory iphathelene nokuvuleleka ekubeni nabalingani noma abangaphezu koyedwa ngasikhathi sinye-ngokungafani nokuba ne-monogamy eyodwa, okuwubudlelwano obubodwa bokuthandana ngesikhathi esisodwa," kuchaza yena. Ukuba pansexual akusho ukuthi hlobo luni lobudlelwano umuntu azoba nalo. Othile ocansini ocansini angakhetha ukuba, futhi ajabule, kungaba ubuhlobo obunamandla noma obuyedwa, kusho yena. (Bona Okuningi: Nakhu Okuthi Ubudlelwano bePolyamorous Empeleni Buyikho — nokuthi Yini Okungeyona)

I-Pansexual vs. bisexual

Ufisa ukwazi ukuthi uyini umehluko phakathi kwe-pansexuality kanye nobungqingili? Iningi labantu linjalo. Kujwayelekile ukuthi abantu badide ubunikazi bokungabobulili obubodwa (okubizwa nangokuthi ukukhangwa ubulili obubodwa nobulili), kusho u-LeClaire. (Le LGBTQ+ Glossary izocacisa eminye imigomo, futhi.)

Kuyiqiniso: Lawa amalebula anokuhlangana okuthile, kusho uMosley. Futhi njengoba ubungqingili bunezincazelo ezimbalwa, kanjalo nobungqingili.

Okokuqala, kuyini ubungqingili?

Ngokomlando, ubungqingili buchazwa njengokuheha kwezothando, ukukhangwa ngokocansi, noma intshisekelo yezocansi kwabesilisa nabesifazane. "Izincazelo eziningi zobungqingili ozozithola ezincwadini zokufunda zenziwa ngesikhathi lapho isiko kanye nomphakathi jikelele wawusazwakala ubulili njengobunambambili," kuchaza uLeClaire.

Kodwa-ke, njengoba ukuqonda kobulili kuguqukile, injalo nencazelo yobungqingili.Manje, ngokwe-The Bisexual Resource Center, ubungqingili manje kusho "ukukhangwa ngothando kanye / noma ngokocansi kwabobulili obungaphezu koyedwa." Abanye abantu abakhomba njengabesilisa nabesifazane bakuchaza njengokuhehwa kubo bobabili ubulili 1) njengababo no-2) ngokungafani nababo, kusho uLeclaire, ngokunqekuzisa ikhanda esiqwini esithi "bi" (okusho ukuthi ezimbili). (Nasi umhlahlandlela ophelele wokuthi kusho ukuthini abesilisa nabesifazane nokuthi ungazi kanjani ukuthi ungaba yi-bi.)

Ima, ngakho-ke yini umehluko phakathi kwe-pansexual kanye ne-bisexual?

Nansi indlela engcono kakhulu yokucabanga ngakho: Ubungqingili bobulili obufanayo kuwukuheha kothile kungakhathaliseki bobulili babo, kanti ubungqingili buwukukhangwa ubulili obungaphezu kobunye.

Uma ucabanga ukuthi "kuthiwani uma ngibabili?" awuwedwa; abanye abantu bakhomba njenge-BiPan (nomakokubili ngithanda abesilisa nabesifazane kanye ne-pansexual). Kodwa-ke, imvamisa, labo abakhomba njenge-pansexual benza kanjalo ngoba kumane nje kubalinganise kangcono kunezinye izimpawu ezingezona ezobungqingili, njengabesilisa nabesifazane.

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi kunengxenye enkulu yamasiko ekusetshenzisweni kwalawa magama, kusho uMosley: "Izinto ezinjengobudala, ubuhlanga, nendawo zingadlala indima enkulu ekutheni umuntu ukhetha liphi igama." Ngokwe-anecdotally, uqaphele ukuthi abantu abaseminyakeni eyeve eshumini nambili kanye nama-20s kungenzeka basebenzise igama elithi 'pansexual' uma kuqhathaniswa nalabo asebeseminyakeni engama-30 nangaphezulu, abangase babe nomazisi 'njengabesilisa nabesifazane.'

"Okwehlela kukho, empeleni, ukukhetha komuntu siqu, kanye nelungelo lakho lomuntu siqu lokusho ubuwena ngendlela obona kufanele ngayo," kusho uLeClaire. "Mina mathupha ngizihlonza njenge-pansexual, kodwa ngiyibona ingaphansi kwesambulela somphakathi we-bi+sexual." Iningi labantu elihlonza ngezimpawu ezingezona ezobungqingili liyavuma ukuthi kunendawo yokuthi bobabili / bonke ubunikazi bube khona ngasikhathi sinye. (I-FYI, kunesikhathi esisha se-sexuailty, i-skoliosexual, lokho kuyimpikiswano, kodwa kuhle ukwazi futhi.)

Yazi lokhu: Ukuthi othile ukhomba njengobulili obubili noma u-pansexual (noma yimuphi ubunikazi balolo daba), ukukhetha kwakhe. Njengomthetho ojwayelekile, uma othile ethi ukhomba okuthile, bakholwe. Uma othile ekhomba njenge-pansexual / bisexual / njll. kepha 'ayibheki' noma ayenzi ngendlela ocabanga ukuthi umuntu onaleyo identity abukeke noma enze ngayo, lokho Nina inkinga. Ukuphoyisa ubunikazi bomunye umuntu akupholile ngaphansi kwanoma yiziphi izimo. (Okuhlobene: Kungani Ubuza Usuku Lwakho Uma Engu-"Queer Enough" AKULUNGILE)

Ingabe i-pansexuality ivame kangakanani?

Lowo mbuzo cishe awunakuphendulwa, kusho uMosley. "Alukho ucwaningo olwanele mayelana nobulili obufanayo nokwazi ukuthi luvame kangakanani, futhi kuyaqabukela ucwaningo lunikeze labo ababambe iqhaza leyo ndlela."

Umbiko owodwa we-2018 weKomidi Lamalungelo Abantu uthole ukuthi amaphesenti ayi-14 entsha ye-LGBTQ + ikhomba njenge-pansexual, ephakeme kakhulu kunombiko ofanayo ovela ku-2012, ophakamisa ukuthi ubungqingili buya ngokuya bujwayeleka. Kodwa-ke, ayikho imininingwane eqondile yokuthi amaphesenti wabantu bonke angama-pansexual.

Ngazi kanjani ukuthi ngithanda abesilisa nabesifazane?

Alukho Uhlolo Olusemthethweni Lwe-Pansexual okudingeka uluthathe futhi uluphumelele ukuze uhlonze ngelebula, futhi akukho ukuhlola okungakutshela ngokusobala ukuthi ingabe u-pansexual noma cha. Noma ngabe ungumuntu othanda ucansi noma uthandane nabantu bobulili obuhlukene akusho ukuthi kufanele uhlonze njenge-pansexual. Ubhekene ne-pansexual kuphela uma lokho kungazizwa kulungile (noma uzizwa ukuthi iningi kwesokudla) kuwe. (Okuhlobene: Ukuthi "Ukuphuma" Kwayithuthukisa Kanjani Impilo Yami Nenjabulo)

Abanye abantu bathola ukuthi ukuba nesikhathi noma uhlaka lwalokho abaphila nokuhlangabezana nakho kungakhulula, kusho uMosley. "Kokubili ekwelashweni kwami ​​nasekucwaningeni ngabantu abangama-pan/queer/bi+, ngivame ukuzwa ukuthi ukuba nelebula nolimi kubaxhumanisa nemiphakathi, kunciphisa ukuhlukaniswa, okubaxhumanisa nezinsiza, futhi kungandisa ubunikazi," usho kanje. ULeClaire uyavuma, enezela ngokuthi "ukuthola ubunikazi obubona sengathi ungasho ngokuzwakalayo nangokuziqhenya kunganikeza amandla futhi kukhulule ngempela." Kepha futhi, lokho kumugqa wakho wesikhathi. Themba, umphakathi wakho uzoba lapho lapho usukulungele. (Okuhlobene: Kusho Ukuthini Ngeqiniso Ukuthi Ube Queer?)

Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungahle ube yipansexual, uMosley uthi ukuhlola i-unicorn yezobulili kuyisinyathelo sokuqala esihle. "Iyasebenzisana ngempela futhi izokuvumela ukuthi ucabangisise ngokukhanga kwakho okuhlukile (ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba) ngokuhambisana nobunikazi bakho bobulili, ukubonakaliswa kobulili, kanye nobulili."

U-LeClaire uthi i-Bisexual Resource Centre kanye nencwadiKanjani Queer! Ukulandisa komuntu siqu okuvela kubobulili obubili, i-pansexual, i-polysexual, i-sexual-fluid, neminye imibono engeyona eyabobulili obubodwangu-Faith Beauchemin nazo ziyizinsiza ezinhle.

Khumbula: "Injabulo nezinselele ongase ube nazo njenge-pansexual azenzeki ngokuzihlukanisa nabanye," kusho uDkt. Mosley. "Ngakho, ngithanda ukukhuthaza abantu ukuthi benze ukumba okuncane ukuze bathole imithombo efanelana kangcono nezidingo zabo okwamanje [kanye nobunye ubunikazi babo obunjengobulili, uhlanga, isigaba, nesimo sabokufika]." Futhi lokho, i-Twitter, iTumblr, ne-Instagram yizona ezihamba phambili. Ngokujulile, ama-hashtag angaba nensizakalo enkulu.

Buyekeza kwe-