Ongakusho Kumuntu Ocindezelekile, Ngokusho Kwezazi Zengqondo

-Delile

• Kungani Ukungena Kubaluleke Kangaka
• Akukona Nje Lokho Okushoyo, Kodwa Kanjani Uyasho
• Ongakusho Kumuntu Ocindezelekile
• Bonisa ukunakekela nokukhathazeka.
• Cela ukukhuluma noma ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye.
• Yiba ngumlandeli wabo ongu- # 1 (kodwa ungawenzi ngokweqile).
• Mane ubuze ukuthi baqhuba kanjani.
• ... futhi uma ukhathazekile ngokuphepha kwabo, yisho okuthile.
• Okungafanele Ukusho Kumuntu Ocindezelekile
• Ungagxumeli ekuxazululeni izinkinga.
• Ungabeki icala.
• Gwema ukuzethemba okunobuthi.
• Ungalokothi Uthi "Akufanele Uzizwe Ngaleyo Ndlela."
• Ekugcineni, Khumbula Umgomo Wakho
• Buyekeza kwe-

Ngisho nangaphambi kwenkinga ye-coronavirus, ukucindezeleka kwakungezinye zezinkinga ezivamile zempilo yengqondo emhlabeni. Futhi manje, izinyanga zilubhadane, luyanda. Ucwaningo lwakamuva luthole ukuthi "izimpawu zokudangala" e-US zaziphakeme ngokuphindwe kathathu kunangaphambi kobhubhane. Ngamanye amagama, inani labantu abadala baseMelika ababhekana nokudangala seliphindwe kathathu, ngakho-ke, kungenzeka ukuthi uyazi okungenani umuntu oyedwa ophila nokucindezeleka - noma ngabe uyazi noma cha.

Ukucindezeleka - okubizwa nangokuthi ukucindezeleka komtholampilo - ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa okubangela izimpawu ezicindezelayo ezithinta indlela ozizwa ngayo, ocabanga ngayo, nokusingatha imisebenzi yansuku zonke njengokulala nokudla, ngokusho kweNational Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH). Lokhu kwehlukile kunokuzizwa uphansi noma uphansi isikhashana, okuvame ukuthi abantu bakuchaze ngokuthi "ukuzizwa ucindezelekile" noma ukuba umuntu "ocindezelekile". Ngenxa yalesi sihloko, sikhuluma futhi sisebenzisa lawo mabinzana ukubhekisa kubantu abacindezelekile emtholampilo.

Noma kunjalo, ngenxa yokuthi ukucindezeleka kuya ngokuya kuvame, akusho ukuthi kulula ukukhuluma ngakho (sibonga ukucwaswa, ukungaziphathi kahle kwamasiko, nokuntuleka kwemfundo). Masibhekane nakho: Ukwazi ukuthi yini ongayisho kumuntu ocindezelekile - kungaba yilungu lomndeni, umngane, omunye obalulekile - kungasabisa. Ngakho, ungabasekela kanjani obathandayo abaswele? Futhi yiziphi izinto ezilungile nezingalungile ongazisho kumuntu onesifo sokudangala? Ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo bayayiphendula leyo mibuzo, babelana ngokufanele ukuthi bathini kumuntu odabukile, ohlushwa ukucindezeleka komtholampilo, nokuningi. (Okuhlobene: I-Stigma Ezungeze Imithi Yengqondo Iphoqa Abantu Ukuba Bahlupheke Ngokuthula)

Kungani Ukungena Kubaluleke Kangaka

Ngenkathi izinyanga ezedlule bezihlukaniswa ngokukhethekile (ngenxa enkulu yengxenye yokuqhelelana kwezenhlalo kanye nezinye izindlela zokuvikela ze-COVID-19), izingqinamba bezikhona kakhulu kulabo abanengcindezi. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi isizungu "singenye yezinto ezijwayeleke kakhulu zalabo abacindezelekile," kusho u-Forest Talley, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esisemtholampilo nomsunguli we-Invictus Psychological Services e-Folsom, CA. "Lokhu kuvame ukubonwa njengomuzwa wokukhishwa inyumbazane nokunganakwa. Iningi lalabo abacindezelekile bakuthola kubuhlungu futhi kuyaqondakala lokhu; ukuzethemba kwabo kuye kwashaywa kangangokuthi baphetha kalula, 'Akekho ofuna ukuba seduze kwami, futhi angibasoli, kungani kufanele bakhathalele?'

Kepha "'bona'" (funda: wena) kufanele ukhombise laba bantu okungenzeka ukuthi bacindezelekile ukuthi uyabakhathalela. Ukumane uvumele othandekayo azi ukuthi ukhona ukuze umsize nokuthi uzokwenza noma yini ukuze uthole usizo oludingekayo, “kunikeza isilinganiso sethemba abalidinga kakhulu,” kuchaza udokotela wezifo zengqondo ogunyazwe yibhodi uCharles Herrick, MD, usihlalo. wePsychiatry eDanbury, New Milford, naseNorwalk Hospitals e-Connecticut.

Sesikushilo lokho, bangase bangaphenduli ngokushesha ngezingalo ezivulekile kanye nesibhengezo esifundeka kanje, "gee, ngiyabonga ngokunginika ithemba." Kunalokho, ungase ubhekane nokuphikiswa (indlela yokuzivikela). Ngokumane ubabheke, ungashintsha omunye wemicabango yabo esontekile (okusho ukuthi akekho noyedwa obakhathalelayo noma ukuthi abalufanele uthando nokusekelwa) okungabasiza ukuthi bavulekele ukukhuluma ngezingxoxo zabo imizwa.

“Lokho umuntu ocindezelekile angakuqapheli ukuthi usuke engabaxoshi abantu abebengaba usizo,” kusho uTalley. "Lapho umngane noma ilungu lomndeni lihlola umuntu ocindezelekile, lisebenza njengekhambi lale mibono esontekile yokunganakwa nokuntula ukubaluleka. Kunikeza indawo ephikisayo esikhukhula sokungazethembi kanye nokuzenyanya umuntu ocindezelekile abhekana nakho njalo. ."

"Indlela abasabela noma abasabela ngayo isuselwa kulowo muntu nokuthi bakuphi ezimpilweni zabo - ukumeseka nokuba nesineke kuzoba kubaluleke kakhulu kuyo yonke le nqubo," kunezela uNina Westbrook, uL.M.F.T.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukungena nokuvula inkhulumomphendvulwano, usiza nasekunciphiseni ukubandlululwa kwempilo yengqondo. "Lapho singakhuluma kakhulu ngokudangala ngendlela efanayo naleyo esikhuluma ngayo ngezinye izinto ezikhathazayo ezimpilweni zabantu esibakhathalelayo. (okungukuthi umndeni, umsebenzi, isikole), uma kuncishiswa isigcwagcwa futhi nabantu abancane bazozizwa benamahloni noma benecala lokuthi kungani behlupheka, "kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo emtholampilo uKevin Gilliland, Psy.D, umqondisi omkhulu we-Innovation360 eDallas , TX.

Ungazikhathazi kakhulu ngokubuza yonke imibuzo efanele noma ube nenkulumo efanele mayelana nokuthi ungabasiza kanjani,” kusho uGilliland. "Lokho abantu abafuna ngempela ukwazi ukuthi ababodwa futhi kukhona obakhathalelayo."

Yebo, kulula kanjalo. Kodwa, heyi, ungumuntu futhi kwenzeka ukushelela. Mhlawumbe uqale ukuzwakala kancane njengomzali ofundisayo. Noma mhlawumbe uqale ukunikeza iseluleko esingaceliwe nesingenalusizo (okungukuthi, "uke wazama ukuzindla kamuva nje?"). Uma kunjalo, "vele umise ingxoxo, uyamukele, futhi uxolise," kusho uGilliland, osikisela nokuhleka sonke isimo (uma sizwakala silungile). "Akudingeki uphelele; kufanele nje unakekele futhi uzimisele ukuba khona futhi lokho kunzima ngokwanele. Kodwa umuthi onamandla."

Akukona Nje Lokho Okushoyo, Kodwa Kanjani Uyasho

Kwesinye isikhathi ukulethwa kuyikho konke. "Abantu bayazi lapho izinto zingesizo ezangempela; siyakwazi ukuzizwa," kusho uWestbrook. Ugcizelela ukuthi uvela endaweni enomqondo ovulekile, enenhliziyo evulekile, okuzosiza ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi noma uphumputha amagama, umuntu osondelene naye uzozizwa ethandwa futhi ehlonishwa.

Futhi zama ukuzibona mathupha (noma ngabe zihlukaniswe ngamamitha ayisithupha). "Ingxenye esabekayo nge-COVID-19 ukuthi okungenzeka ukuthi bekudingeka ukuphatha igciwane [ukuqhela emphakathini] kuyesabeka kubantu," kusho uGilliland. "Into eyodwa engcono kakhulu kubantu nemizwelo yethu ukuba sebudlelwaneni nabanye abantu, futhi lokho ubuso nobuso ukwenza izinto ndawonye, ​​nokuba nezingxoxo ezisisiza ukuthi sicabange ngempilo ngokwehlukile - ngisho ukukhohlwa nje ngezingcindezi zempilo. "

Uma ungababoni mathupha, uncoma ikholi yevidiyo ngekholi noma umbhalo. "I-Zoom ingcono kunokuthumela umbhalo noma ukuthumela i-imeyili; ngicabanga ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi kungcono kunocingo olujwayelekile," kusho uGilliland. (Okuhlobene: Ungabhekana Kanjani Nesizungu Uma Uzihlukanisa Nabodwa Ngesikhathi Sokuqubuka KweCoronavirus)

Uma kushiwo lokho, okumele ukwenze nokungafanele ukwenze kokuthi uzothini kumuntu ocindezelekile kuyafana kungaba yi-IRL noma nge-inthanethi.

Ongakusho Kumuntu Ocindezelekile

Bonisa ukunakekela nokukhathazeka.

Zama ukuthi: "Bengifuna ukudlula ngoba ngikhathazekile. Ubonakala ucindezelekile [noma 'udabukile,' 'uxakekile, njll.]. Ngabe kukhona engingakwenza ukusiza?'" Igama eliqondile - kungaba yilo u-D omkhulu noma "hhayi wena" - akubalulekanga ngendlela emangalisayo, kusho uTalley. Okubalulekile ukuthi uthatha indlela eqondile (okuningi kulokhu kamuva) futhi uzwakalise ukukhathazeka nokunakekelwa, uyachaza.

Cela ukukhuluma noma ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye.

Yize ingekho impendulo eyodwa yokuthi 'yini okufanele uyenze kumuntu ocindezelekile', kubalulekile ukuthi uqiniseke ukuthi uyazi ukuthi ukhona ngokubasiza, kungaba ukukhuluma noma ukuzihlalela nje.

Ungazama futhi ukubakhipha endlini isikhashana - inqobo nje uma izivumelwano ezinobungani be-coronavirus (isb.ukuhlehla kwezenhlalo, ukugqoka imaski) kusenokwenzeka. Phakamisa ukuhamba ndawonye noma ukuthatha inkomishi yekhofi. “Ukucindezeleka kuvame ukuphuca abantu isifiso sokwenza izinto ababezithole zizuzisa esikhathini esidlule, ngakho ukuthola umngane wakho ocindezelekile ukuba aphinde ahlanganyele kuyasiza kakhulu,” kusho uTalley. (Okuhlobene: Ukuthi Ukukhathazeka Kwami Konke Okwenzeka Empilweni Kungisize Kanjani Ukubhekana Nenkinga YeCoronavirus)

Yiba ngumlandeli wabo ongu- # 1 (kodwa ungawenzi ngokweqile).

Manje yisikhathi sakho sokubakhombisa ukuthi kungani bebaluleka kangaka futhi bethandwa - ngaphandle kokudlulela. "Kuvame ukukhuthaza ukutshela ngokusobala umngani wakho noma othandekayo ukuthi ungumlandeli wabo omkhulu, futhi yize beba nesikhathi esinzima sokubona ngale kwekhethini elimnyama elidalwe ukucindezeleka, uyabona ukuthi bazogcina bengene kuphi futhi bakhululeke ekungabazeni, ukudabuka, noma usizi abanalo njengamanje,” kusho uTalley.

Awukwazi ukuthola amagama afanele ongawasho? Khumbula ukuthi "kwesinye isikhathi izenzo zikhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi," kusho usosayensi wezinzwa uCaroline Leaf, Ph.D. Shiya isidlo sakusihlwa, udlule ngezimbali, thumela i-imeyili, futhi "uvele ubabonise ukuthi ukhona uma bekudinga," kusho uLeaf.

Mane ubuze ukuthi baqhuba kanjani.

Yebo, impendulo ingahle ibe "yesabekayo," kepha ochwepheshe bakhuthaza ukumema ingxoxo ngokumane (futhi ngobuqotho) babuze ukuthi lowo omthandayo uqhuba kanjani. Vumela ukuthi bavule futhi balalele ngempela. Igama elingukhiye: lalela. "Cabanga ngaphambi kokuphendula," kusho uLeaf. "Thatha okungenani imizuzwana engama-30-90 ukulalela abakushoyo ngoba lesi yisikhathi esithatha isikhathi eside ubuchopho ukucubungula ulwazi. Ngale ndlela awuphenduli ngokunganaki."

"Lapho ungabaza lalela nje - ungakhulumi futhi ungalokothi weluleke," kusho uDkt Herrick. Ngokusobala, awufuni ukuthula ngokuphelele. Ngenkathi ukuba yihlombe lomngane oswele kuyindlela enhle kakhulu yokuba nozwela, zama futhi ukusho izinto ezinjengokuthi "Ngiyakuzwa." Uma uke wabhekana nenselelo yempilo yengqondo phambilini, ungasebenzisa futhi lesi sikhathi ukuzwelana nokuzwana. Cabanga: "Ngiyazi ukuthi kungakanani lokhu okuncelayo; nami bengilapha."

... futhi uma ukhathazekile ngokuphepha kwabo, yisho okuthile.

Ngezinye izikhathi - ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ekuphepheni - kufanele nje uqonde. “Uma ukhathazekile ngokuphepha komngane wakho ocindezelekile noma omthandayo, vele ubuze,” kunxusa uTalley. "Buza ngokusobala ukuthi bake bacabanga yini, noma bacabanga, ngokuzilimaza noma ukuzibulala. Cha, lokhu ngeke kubangele ukuthi umuntu akhethe ukuzibulala obe engakaze nakanye akucabange. Kepha kungahle kudale ukuthi umuntu ocabanga ukuzibulala thatha enye indlela."

Futhi nakuba ukuzwela kubalulekile kuzo zonke lezi zinhlobo zezingxoxo, kubaluleke kakhulu uma uthinta izihloko ezinjengokuzilimaza nokuzibulala. Lesi yisikhathi esihle sokugcizelela ukuthi uzele kangakanani futhi ufuna ukubasiza bazizwe bengcono. (Okuhlobene: Lokho Wonke Umuntu Okudingayo Ukwazi Ngamanani Akhuphukayo Wokuzibulala e-U.S.)

Khumbula: Ukuzibulala kungolunye uphawu lokucindezeleka - nakuba, yebo, kunesisindo esikhulu kunokusho umuzwa onciphile wokuzethemba. "Futhi ngenkathi ihlasela abantu abaningi njengomcabango ongajwayelekile noma umcabango ongafuneki, kwesinye isikhathi ukucindezeleka kungaba kubi kakhulu size singayiboni impilo ekufanele siyiphile," kusho uGilliland. "Abantu besaba ukuthi [ukubuza] kuzonikeza omunye umbono [wokuzibulala]. Ngiyakwethembisa; ngeke ubanikeze umbono - ungase usindise ukuphila kwabo."

Okungafanele Ukusho Kumuntu Ocindezelekile

Ungagxumeli ekuxazululeni izinkinga.

"Uma umuntu ocindezelekile efisa ukukhuluma ngalokho okusengqondweni yakhe lalela," kusho uTalley. "Unganikezi izixazululo ngaphandle uma lokhu kuceliwe. Impela, kuhle ukusho into efana nokuthi 'Uyakhathazeka uma ngiphakamisa okuthile?' kodwa gwema ukuyenza ingqungquthela yokuxazulula izinkinga. "

ULeaf uyavuma. "Gwema ukuphendulela ingxoxo kuwe noma kunoma isiphi iseluleko onaso.Yiba khona, ulalele abakushoyo, futhi uhlale ugxile kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ngaphandle uma bephendukela kuwe ngokuqondile ukuze bathole iseluleko.”

Futhi uma yenza cela ukuqonda okuthile, ungakhuluma ngokuthi ukuthola umeluleki kuyisinyathelo esikhulu kanjani sokululama (futhi mhlawumbe uze wenze ihlaya elilula lokuthi ungeyena kanjani umelaphi ngokwakho). Bakhumbuze ukuthi kukhona ochwepheshe abanenqwaba yamathuluzi okubasiza bazizwe bengcono. (Okuhlobene: Izinsizakusebenza Zempilo Yengqondo Ezitholakalayo Nezesekayo zeBlack Womxn)

Ungabeki icala.

"Ukusola kunjaloneze kuzoba yimpendulo, ”kusho uWestbrook. . '"

U-Talley uthi uma ucabanga ukuthi lokhu kuyinto esobala, kufanele wazi ukuthi kwenzeka kaningi kunalokho obungacabanga - futhi ngokuvamile kusuke kuwukungazi. "Ngingahlosile, lolu hlobo lokusola lungavela lapho abantu begxila ekuxazululeni izinkinga, okuvame ukufaka ukulungisa okuthile okubonakala sengathi kuyantuleka kumuntu ocindezelekile."

Isibonelo, ukutshela umuntu ukuthi "agxile kokuhle" - isitatimende sokuxazulula izinkinga - kungenza ukuthi ukucindezeleka kube khona ngoba umuntu ugxile kokubi. Awusoze wafuna ukuphakamisa ungahlosile ukuthi ukucindezeleka kuyiphutha labo ... kanti, akunjalo.

Gwema ukuzethemba okunobuthi.

"Lapho umuntu omthandayo ecindezelekile, gwema izinkulumo ezikhuthaza ngokweqile ezinjengokuthi, 'konke kuzolunga ekugcineni' noma 'ukubonga ngalokho onakho,'” kusho uLeaf. "Lokhu kungenza izehlakalo zomunye umuntu kuzenze zibe yize bazizwa benecala noma benamahloni ngendlela abazizwa ngayo noma iqiniso lokuthi abakwazi ukujabula." Lolu uhlobo lokukhanyisa igesi. (Okuhlobene: I-Toxic Positivity ingase Ikulethe Phansi—Nakhu Okuyikho nokuthi Ungakumisa Kanjani)

Ungalokothi Uthi "Akufanele Uzizwe Ngaleyo Ndlela."

Futhi, lokhu kungathathwa njengokukhanyisa ngegesi futhi akusizi ngalutho. "Khumbula, ukudangala kwabo akufani nezingubo abazigqokayo. Uma ufuna ukunikeza izeluleko ezintweni umngane wakho / othandekayo azikhethela zona ngenhloso, bese ubanikeza izeluleko ngemfashini, ukutholakala kokudla okunomsoco, noma ukukhetha kwakho okusha / okukhulu kunakho konke. Kodwa Ungabatsheli ukuthi akufanele bacindezeleke,” kusho uTalley.

Uma unenkinga enzima kakhulu yokuba nozwelo, zinike isikhathi sokuthola izinsiza ezithile bese ufunda ngokucindezeleka online (cabanga: izindaba ezengeziwe zezempilo yengqondo ezivela kumawebhusayithi athenjiwe, Izikhungo Zikazwelonke Zezempilo, nezindatshana zomuntu siqu ezibhalwe ngabantu abanokucindezeleka ) futhi uzihlomise ngaphambi kokuba nenhliziyo nenhliziyo nomuntu ohlushwa ukucindezeleka.

Ekugcineni, Khumbula Umgomo Wakho

I-Westbrook ikukhumbuza ngale nothi ebaluleke kakhulu: "Inhloso ukubabuyisela esimweni kubo, "uyachaza." Lapho becindezelekile, [kuba sengathi] abasekho lokho abayikho; abenzi izinto abazithandayo, abachithi isikhathi nabathandekayo babo. Sifuna [ukusiza] ukususa ukudangala ukuze babuyele kulokho abayikho." Faka le ngxoxo usendaweni yothando lwangempela nozwelo, zifundise wena ngangokunokwenzeka, futhi uhambisane nokungena. Ngisho noma u-' siphinde sahlangana nokuphikiswa, bakudinga kakhulu kunakuqala manje.

Buyekeza kwe-