Lapho Indodana Yami Ne-Autism Incibilika Phansi, Nakhu Engikwenzayo

-Delile

• Kunomehluko phakathi kokuphoqelela ukuziphatha nokukhuthaza ukuzimela
• Okufanele ukwenze ngesikhathi sokuncibilika okukhulu kakhulu, esidlangalaleni
• 1. Yiba nozwela
• 2. Benze bazizwe bephephile futhi bethandwa
• 3. Susa izijeziso
• 4. Gxila enganeni yakho, hhayi ukugqolozela ababukele
• 5. Phula ikhithi yakho yamathuluzi wezinzwa
• 6. Bafundise amasu okubhekana nesimo uma sebezolile

Impilo nokuphila kahle kuthinta ngamunye wethu ngokuhlukile. Le yindaba yomuntu oyedwa.

Ngangihlala ehhovisi lesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yengane ngimtshela ngendodana yami eneminyaka eyisithupha ene-autism.

Lokhu bekungumhlangano wethu wokuqala ukubona ukuthi ngabe sizokwazi yini ukusebenza kahle ekuhlolweni nasekuxilongweni okusemthethweni, ngakho indodana yami ibingekho.

Mina nomlingani wami samtshela ngokukhetha kwethu imfundo yasekhaya nokuthi asikaze sisebenzise isijeziso njengendlela yokuyala.

Njengoba umhlangano uqhubeka, iziphequluli zakhe zaba njengokhozi.

Ngabona ukwahlulela ekuvezeni kwakhe ngenkathi eqala ukwakheka komuntu oyedwa ngokuthi ngangidinga kanjani ukuphoqa indodana yami ukuthi iye esikoleni, ngimphoqe ezimeni ezimenza angakhululeki neze, futhi amphoqe ukuba azihlanganise nabantu kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngakho.

Ukuphoqa, ukuphoqa, ukuphoqa.

Ngizwe sengathi ufuna ukufaka isimilo sakhe ebhokisini, bese uhlala phezu kwalo.

Eqinisweni, ingane ngayinye ene-autism ihluke kakhulu futhi yehlukile kulokho umphakathi okubona kujwayelekile. Awusoze walinganisa ubuhle babo kanye ne-quirkiness yabo ebhokisini.

Sanqaba izinsizakalo zakhe futhi sathola okulungele kangcono umndeni wethu - kwendodana yethu.

Kunomehluko phakathi kokuphoqelela ukuziphatha nokukhuthaza ukuzimela

Ngifunde kokuhlangenwe nakho ukuthi ukuzama ukuphoqa ukuzimela akuphikisani, noma ngabe ingane yakho ine-autism noma cha.

Lapho siphoqa ingane, ikakhulukazi eyodwa ethambekele ekukhathazekeni nasekuqineni, umuzwa wayo wemvelo ukumba izithende zayo bese ubambelela ngokuqinile.

Lapho siphoqa ingane ukuthi ibhekane nokwesaba kwayo, futhi ngiqonde ukumemeza phansi nginovalo, njengoWhitney Ellenby, umama owayefuna indodana yakhe ene-autism ibone u-Elmo, empeleni asibasizi.

Uma ngiphoqelelwa ukungena egumbini eligcwele izicabucabu, mhlawumbe bengizokwazi ukuphuma ebuchosheni bami ngesikhathi esithile ukubhekana nesimo ngemuva kwamahora angaba ngu-40 wokumemeza. Lokho akusho ukuthi benginokuphumelela okuthile noma impumelelo ekubhekaneni nokwesaba kwami.

Ngicabanga nokuthi ngizogcina lezo zingcindezi futhi ziyovuselelwa njalo empilweni yami.

Vele, ukufuna ukuzimela akuhlali ngokweqile njalo njengesimo se-Elmo noma igumbi eligcwele izicabucabu. Konke lokhu kusunduza kuhlangana nobubanzi obuqala ekukhuthazeni ingane engabazayo (lokhu kuhle futhi akumele kube nentambo ehambisana nomphumela - Bayeke bathi cha!) Ukubaphoqa ngokomzimba esimweni lapho ubuchopho babo bumemeza Ingozi.

Lapho sivumela izingane zethu zikhululeke ngejubane lazo futhi ekugcineni zithathe leso sinyathelo ngokuzithandela kwazo, ukuzethemba kweqiniso nokulondeka kuyakhula.

Lokho kusho, ngiyaqonda ukuthi umama wakwa-Elmo wayevelaphi. Siyazi ukuthi izingane zethu zingajabulela noma imuphi umsebenzi uma zizama nje.

Sifuna bazizwe bejabule. Sifuna babe nesibindi futhi bagcwale ukuzethemba. Sifuna ukuthi "bavumelane" ngoba siyazi ukuthi ukwenqatshelwa kunjani.

Futhi kwesinye isikhathi sikhathele kakhulu ukuba sibe nesineke nozwela.

Kepha ukuphoqa akuyona indlela yokufeza injabulo, ukuzethemba - noma ukuzola.

Okufanele ukwenze ngesikhathi sokuncibilika okukhulu kakhulu, esidlangalaleni

Lapho ingane yethu inokuncibilika, abazali bavame ukufuna ukumisa izinyembezi ngoba kulimaza izinhliziyo zethu ukuthi izingane zethu zidonsa kanzima. Noma siphelelwa yisineke futhi sifuna ukuthula nokuthula.

Izikhathi eziningi, sibhekene nokuncibilika kwesihlanu noma kwesithupha ngalolo suku ekuseni ngezinto ezibonakala zilula njengethegi esehembe labo iyanwaya kakhulu, udadewabo ukhulumela phezulu kakhulu, noma ushintsho ezinhlelweni.

Izingane ezine-autism azikhali, azikhaleli, noma zivutha ukuze zisithinte ngandlela thile.

Bakhala ngoba yilokho okudingeka imizimba yabo ikwenze ngalowo mzuzu ukukhulula ukungezwani nemizwa ekuzizweleni ngokweqile ngemizwa noma ngezisusa zezinzwa.

Ubuchopho babo bunentambo ehlukile ngakho-ke yindlela abaxhumana ngayo nezwe. Leyo yinto okumele sivumelane nayo njengabazali ukuze sikwazi ukubasekela ngendlela engcono kakhulu.

Ngakho-ke singazisekela kanjani ngempumelelo izingane zethu ngalezi zingqubuzana ezivame ukuzwakala futhi zishisa?

1. Yiba nozwela

Ukuzwela kusho ukulalela nokwamukela umzabalazo wabo ngaphandle kokwahlulela.

Ukuveza imizwa ngendlela enempilo - kungaba ngezinyembezi, ukukhala, ukudlala, noma ukubhala amaphephabhuku - kuhle kubo bonke abantu, noma ngabe le mizwa izwa ngokweqile ngobukhulu bayo.

Umsebenzi wethu ukuqondisa izingane zethu ngobumnene futhi sizinikeze amathuluzi okuziveza ngendlela engalimazi imizimba yazo noma abanye.

Lapho sizwelana nezingane zethu futhi siqinisekisa ulwazi lwazo, zizizwa zizwakala.

Wonke umuntu ufuna ukuzizwa ezwakala, ikakhulukazi umuntu ozwa kaningi ukuthi akaqondakali futhi uphume kancane kwabanye.

2. Benze bazizwe bephephile futhi bethandwa

Kwesinye isikhathi izingane zethu zilahleka kakhulu emizweni yazo ezingasizwa. Kulezi zimo, konke okudingeka sikwenze nje ukuhlala nabo noma ukuba seduze kwabo.

Izikhathi eziningi, siyazama ukukhuluma nabo phansi ngenxa yokwethuka kwabo, kepha imvamisa kungukuchitha umoya lapho ingane isenkingeni yokuncibilika.

Esingakwenza ukubazisa ukuthi baphephile futhi bayathandwa. Lokhu sikwenza ngokuhlala siseduze nabo njengoba benethezekile nabo.

Ngilahlekelwe ngumkhondo wezikhathi lapho ngibone khona ingane ekhalayo itshelwa ukuthi zingaphuma kuphela endaweni eyimfihlo uma ziyeke ukuncibilika.

Lokhu kungathumela umyalezo enganeni ukuthi ayikufanele ukuba seduze nabantu ababathandayo lapho besebunzimeni. Ngokusobala, lona akuwona umyalezo wethu esiwuhlosile ezinganeni zethu.

Ngakho-ke, singabakhombisa ukuthi sikhona ngabo ngokuhlala sisondele.

3. Susa izijeziso

Ukujeziswa kungenza izingane zizizwe zinamahloni, zikhathazekile, zesaba, futhi zithukuthele.

Ingane ene-autism ayikwazi ukulawula ukuncibilika kwabo, ngakho-ke akufanele bajeziswe ngayo.

Esikhundleni salokho, kufanele bavunyelwe isikhala nenkululeko yokukhala kakhulu nomzali lapho, ababazise ukuthi bayasekelwa.

4. Gxila enganeni yakho, hhayi ukugqolozela ababukele

Ukuncibilika phansi kwanoma iyiphi ingane kungathola umsindo, kepha bavame ukuya ezingeni eliphelele lapho kuyingane ene-autism.

Lokhu kuqhuma kungazizwa kuhlazeka kubazali lapho siphakathi kwabantu futhi wonke umuntu usigqolozele.

Sizwa ukwahlulela kwabanye bethi, "Angikaze ngivumele ingane yami yenze kanjalo."

Noma okubi kakhulu, sinomuzwa wokuthi ukwesaba kwethu okujulile kuqinisekisiwe: Abantu bacabanga ukuthi siyahluleka kuyo yonke le nto yokuba ngumzali.

Ngokuzayo lapho uzithola ukulesi sibonisi esisesidlangalaleni sezinxushunxushu, uzibe ukubukeka kwokwahlulela, bese uthule lelo zwi elingaphakathi elisabekayo uthi awenele. Khumbula ukuthi umuntu onenkinga futhi odinga usizo lwakho kakhulu ingane yakho.

5. Phula ikhithi yakho yamathuluzi wezinzwa

Gcina amathuluzi wezinzwa noma amathoyizi ambalwa emotweni noma esikhwameni sakho. Unganikela ngengane yakho lapho ingqondo yabo ikhungathekile.

Izingane zinezintandokazi ezahlukahlukene, kepha amanye amathuluzi wezinzwa ajwayelekile afaka phakathi ama-lap pads anesisindo, ama-headphone akhansela umsindo, izibuko zelanga, namathoyizi e-fidget.

Ungaziphoqeleli lokhu enganeni yakho lapho zincibilika, kepha uma ikhetha ukuyisebenzisa, le mikhiqizo ivame ukuyisiza yehlise umoya.

6. Bafundise amasu okubhekana nesimo uma sebezolile

Akukho okuningi esingakwenza ngesikhathi sokuncibilika kuze kube semzamweni wokuzama ukufundisa izingane zethu amathuluzi okubhekana nezinkinga, kepha uma zisesimweni sokuthula nesokuphumula kwengqondo, nakanjani singasebenza ekulawuleni ngokomzwelo ndawonye.

Indodana yami iphendula kahle ekuhambeni kwemvelo, ukuzijwayeza i-yoga nsuku zonke (intandokazi yayo iCosmic Kids Yoga), nokuphefumula okujulile.

Lezi zindlela zokubhekana nesimo zizobasiza ukuthi behlise umoya - mhlawumbe ngaphambi kokuncibilika - noma ungekho.

Uzwela lusenhliziyweni yazo zonke lezi zinyathelo zokubhekana nokuncibilika kwe-autistic.

Uma sibheka indlela yokuziphatha kwengane yethu njengendlela yokuxhumana, kusisiza ukuthi siyibheke njengokuzabalaza esikhundleni sokudelela.

Ngokugxila kumsuka wezenzo zabo, abazali bazobona ukuthi izingane ezine-autism kungenzeka ukuthi zithi: “Isisu sami sibuhlungu, kodwa angiqondi ukuthi umzimba wami ungitshelani; Ngidabukile ngoba izingane ngeke zidlale ngami; Ngidinga ukukhuthazwa okwengeziwe; Ngidinga ukukhuthazwa okuncane; Ngidinga ukwazi ukuthi ngiphephile nokuthi uzongisiza kulesi sivunguvungu semizwa ngoba nami kuyangethusa. ”

Igama ukudelela ingehla ngokuphelele kusilulumagama sethu sokuncibilika, ithathelwe indawo uzwela nobubele. Futhi ngokubonisa izingane zethu ububele, singazisekela ngempumelelo ngokwengeziwe ngokuncibilika kwazo.

USam Milam ungumbhali ozimele, umthwebuli zithombe, ummeli wezobulungiswa kwezenhlalo, nomama wababili. Lapho engasebenzi, ungamthola komunye wemicimbi eminingi ye-cannabis ePacific Northwest, estudiyo se-yoga, noma ukuhlola izindawo ezisogwini nezimpophoma nezingane zakhe. Ushicilelwe neThe Washington Post, iMagazini Yempumelelo, uMarie Claire AU, nabanye abaningi. Mvakashele ku Twitter noma yena iwebhusayithi.