Amaqiniso 4 Ngentukuthelo Yabesifazane Ezokusiza Ukuyigcina Inempilo

-Delile

• 1. Intukuthelo akuyona imizwa eyingozi
• 2. Ukufihla intukuthelo kunemiphumela
• 3. Intukuthelo eboshelwe emiphumeleni ingaba yingozi ngokomoya
• 4. Izindlela ezinempilo zokuveza intukuthelo

Intukuthelo ingakunika amandla, uma wazi ukuthi yini enempilo ngokomzwelo nokuthi yini engekho.

Cishe emasontweni amabili edlule, iningi lethu labuka ubufakazi besibindi bukaDkt Christine Blasey Ford phambi kweSenate ngenkathi ekwabelana ngemininingwane esondelene nokuhlukumezeka kwakhe kwentsha kanye nezinsolo zokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi yilowo owayephakanyiswe yiNkantolo Ephakeme Yobulungiswa, iJaji uBrett Kavanaugh.

IKavanaugh manje isiqinisekiswe yiSenate futhi ngokusemthethweni yiNkantolo Ephakeme Yobulungiswa. Ukuthukuthela kwabesifazane abaningi, abasinda ekuhlukunyezweni ngokocansi, kanye nabalingani besilisa kumnyakazo we- # metoo kulandelwe.

Ukuqokwa kukaKavanaugh naphezu kokungaqiniseki ngomlando wakhe wokunukubezwa ngokocansi kungenye nje yemicimbi eminingi esenze abesifazane abaningi bazizwa benenqubekela phambili yokuthola amalungelo alinganayo phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane kumile.

Futhi lokho kuhunyushwe emibhikishweni eningi, izingxoxo ezivuleke kakhulu ngemiphumela eyingozi yomphakathi lapho abesilisa ikakhulu bephethe izikhundla zamandla, nentukuthelo enkulu.

Ikhorasi yemibhikisho yabesifazane ayemukelekile ngaso sonke isikhathi - ikakhulukazi uma umphakathi ubona ukuthi siyikho uthukuthele.

Kwabesilisa, intukuthelo ithathwa njengeyabesilisa. Kwabesifazane, umphakathi uvame ukusitshela ukuthi akwamukelekile.

Kodwa imiyalezo yamasiko yokuthi ulaka lowesifazane inobuthi ingathikameza impilo yethu engokwengqondo nengokomzimba. Ukutshelwa, njengabesifazane, leyo ntukuthelo kubi kungadala ukwakha amahloni, okungasivimbela ekuvezeni lo muzwa onempilo.

Yize singeke silawule ukuthi abanye bayithola kanjani intukuthelo yethu - ukwazi ukuthi ukhomba, uveza, futhi usebenzise kanjani lo muzwa kungakunika amandla.

Njengodokotela wezengqondo, nakhu engifuna ukuthi abesifazane nabesilisa bazi ngentukuthelo.

1. Intukuthelo akuyona imizwa eyingozi

Ukukhula emindenini lapho izingxabano zazikhucululwa khona ngaphansi kombhoxo noma zivezwa ngodlame kungagxilisa inkolelo yokuthi ulaka luyingozi.

Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi intukuthelo ayilimazi abanye.

Okulimazayo ukuthi ukufutheka kukhulumisana kanjani. Intukuthelo evezwa njengokuhlukumeza ngokomzimba noma ngamazwi ishiya izibazi ezingokomzwelo, kepha ukukhungatheka okwabiwe ngokungenalo udlame kungakhuthaza ukusondelana futhi kusize ukulungisa ubudlelwane.

Intukuthelo iwuphawu lomgwaqo oluthinta imizwa Kusitshela ukuthi siphethwe kabi noma senzakalisiwe ngandlela thile. Lapho singazizwa sinamahloni ngentukuthelo yethu, kungasisiza ukuthi siqaphele izidingo zethu futhi sihlakulele ukuzinakekela.

2. Ukufihla intukuthelo kunemiphumela

Ukukholelwa ukuthi intukuthelo inobuthi kungasenza sigwinye ulaka lwethu. Kepha ukufihla lo muzwa kunemiphumela. Eqinisweni, intukuthelo engapheli ekukhathazekeni kwezempilo njengokuqwasha, ukukhathazeka nokudangala.

Intukuthelo engaxazululiwe nengachazwanga ingaholela nasekuziphatheni okungenampilo, njengokusebenzisa izidakamizwa, ukudla ngokweqile nokuchitha ngokweqile.

Imizwa engakhululekile idinga ukuthanjiswa, futhi lapho singenakho ukusekelwa kothando, sithola ezinye izindlela zokunciphisa imizwa yethu.

Gcina imizwa yakho iphilile ngokuyiveza Noma kuzwakala kungaphephile ukubhekana nomuntu olimazayo noma isimo, izindawo ezifana nokushicilela, ukucula, ukuzindla, noma ukukhuluma nomelaphi kunganikeza indawo ye-cathartic yokukhungatheka.

3. Intukuthelo eboshelwe emiphumeleni ingaba yingozi ngokomoya

Ukuncika entukuthelweni yethu ukuguqula imiphumela kungaholela ekutheni sizizwe singenathemba, sidabukile, futhi sidumele, ikakhulukazi uma umuntu noma isimo singashintshi.

Unalokho engqondweni, ngaphambi kokubhekana nothile, zibuze: "Yini engithemba ukuthi ngizoyizuza kulokhu kuhlangana?" nokuthi “Ngizozizwa kanjani uma kungashintshi lutho?”

Asikwazi ukushintsha abanye abantu, futhi yize lokho kungadumaza, futhi kungakhulula ukwazi lokho thina can futhi ngeke ukulawula.

4. Izindlela ezinempilo zokuveza intukuthelo

Ukusebenzisa izitatimende "Mina" kungenye yezindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokuveza ngamazwi imizwa yentukuthelo.

Ukuba nemizwa yakho kungathambisa ukuzivikela komunye umuntu, kumenze azwe futhi amukele amazwi akho. Esikhundleni sokuthi, “Uhlala ungithukuthelisa,” zama ukuthi, “Ngithukuthele ngoba…”

Uma ukubhekana nalo muntu kungenzeki, ukuqondisa amandla akho kubushoshovu kunganikeza umuzwa womphakathi, ongakusekela futhi uphulukise.

Ezimweni lapho abantu basinde khona ukuhlukumezeka, njengokuhlukunyezwa, ukuhlaselwa, noma ukushona kothandekayo, ukwazi ukuthi ulwazi lwakho lungasiza omunye umuntu angazizwa ekunika amandla.

UJuli Fraga yisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esinelayisense esizinze eSan Francisco, eCalifornia. Wathweswa iziqu ze-PsyD e-University of Northern Colorado futhi wahlanganyela ebudlelwaneni basemva kwezobudokotela e-UC Berkeley. Unentshisekelo ngempilo yabesifazane, usondela kuzo zonke izikhathi zakhe ngemfudumalo, ukwethembeka, nozwela. Bona ukuthi wenzani Twitter.