Kungani Wonke Umuntu Kufanele Azame Ukwelapha Okungenani Kanye

-Delile

• Buyekeza kwe-

Noma ngubani owake wakutshela ukuthi uye ekwelashweni? Akufanele kube yinhlamba. Njengomuntu owake waba ngumelaphi kanye nodokotela osenesikhathi eside, ngivame ukukholelwa ukuthi iningi lethu lingahlomula ngokunwebeka esofeni lomelaphi. Kodwa kufanele ngicacise into eyodwa: Ungayi ekwelashweni ngoba wena kufanele. Njengomthetho ojwayelekile, akuvamile ukuthi silandele izinto ngoba thina kufanele. Senza okuthile ngoba thina ngifuna noma singabona izindlela esizozuza ngazo kukho.

Ngingafakazela mathupha imivuzo yokwelashwa, ngokubuka kwesiguli nangokomeluleki. Njengezinto eziningi empilweni, uma uzibophezela, uzobona imiphumela. Siyaziqhenya ngokusebenza kanzima ukugcina imizimba yethu iphilile. Sidla ngendlela efanele, sivocavoca umzimba nsuku zonke, sithatha amavithamini, futhi sihlanganyela ngenjabulo nezithombe zethu ngaphambi nangemuva kwezithombe ozishuthe zona nomhlaba (sawubona, Instagram). Kepha, ngokuvamile, asifundiswanga ukubona impilo yethu yengqondo njengento edinga ukunakekelwa nokunakwa okufanayo.

Umehluko phakathi kwemibono yethu ngempilo engokwengqondo nengokomzimba uhlobene kakhulu nokucwaswa. Uma uya kudokotela ukuze uvakashele impilo yakho yaminyaka yonke noma ngenxa yokuthi uphuke uzwane, akekho owahlulela buthule noma ocabanga ukuthi buthaka. Kodwa izinkinga zemizwa esibhekana nazo zingokoqobo njengamathambo aphukile, ngakho-ke akukho lutho uyahlanya mayelana nombono wokufuna ulwazi lukachwepheshe oqeqeshiwe ongakusiza ukhule, ufunde, futhi ube namandla. Noma ngabe uphonswa inselelo yisifo sengqondo esibucayi noma ubhekene nenkinga yomsebenzi oye wakucasula, ukwelashwa kuyithuluzi labantu abanesibindi nokukhuluma ukubuza, "Yini engingayenza ukuze ngiphile impilo enempilo, nenenjabulo?"

Ngomoya wokudonswa kwe-debunking stereotypes mayelana nokwelashwa, nazi izinto ezimbalwa ongazilindela uma unquma ukuthatha ithuba lakho kusofa womelaphi.

Uthatha isinyathelo esisodwa ngesikhathi.

Kunesixazululo esisheshayo sezinto eziningi emhlabeni wethu wanamuhla. Uma ulambile, isidlo sakho esilandelayo sizochofozwa nje (ngiyabonga, Seamless). I-Uber ivamise ukukukhava uma udinga ukuya endaweni ethile ngokushesha. Maye, ukwelashwa akuyona enye yalezi zixazululo ezisheshayo. Umelaphi wakho akasona isidalwa semilingo, esazi konke esingakwazi ukushaya induku, sikhulume isipelingi esihle sesiLatin, futhi sikwenze ube ngcono. Ushintsho lwangempela lwenzeka kancane kancane. I-marathon, hhayi i-sprint, futhi ukulindela okungokoqobo mayelana nenqubo yokwelapha kungakongela ukukhungatheka okuningi. Cabanga nje: Uma ugxila ku-mile 13 uma usendaweni yokuqala, uhambo luhlala lubuhlungu kakhulu. Ekwelashweni, ufunda ukuhlala kumzuzu wamanje futhi ube nesineke kakhulu ngokwakho-unyawo olulodwa ngaphambi kolunye, uhamba kancane futhi uzinze.

Ungajuluka.

Unomngane omkhulu omangalisayo oyisilaleli esihle. Unomama oyingcweti yezingxoxo ze-pep. Uhlelo lokusekelwa lwabantu obathembayo lubalulekile enjabulweni nasenhlalakahleni ephelele, kepha lobu budlelwane bomuntu siqu akumele budidaniswe nendima edlalwa ngumelaphi. "Enye yezinzuzo zokuxoxa nomelaphi ukuthi angazizwa ekhululekile ukunikela ngemibono ehlukile ngesimo uma kuqhathaniswa nomngani ongahle athambekele ekuvumelaneni nawe noma akududuze," kusho iNew York City udokotela wezifo zengqondo u-Andrew Blatter. Yiqiniso, abelaphi bazokunikeza indlebe ezwelayo uma yilokho okudingayo, kodwa umsebenzi wabo uwukuphonsela inselelo ngezinye izikhathi, ukuveza imicabango nokuziphatha okungenampilo. Ukwamukela ingxenye oyidlalayo ezinkingeni zakho akuyona iphilisi elilula ukugwinya. Ungase udlubulunde ngokuphatheka kabi futhi uzwe umfutho webheyili, kodwa ukushintsha kuwumsebenzi onzima. Abelaphi ngeke bakulungise noma bakutshele ukuthi wenzeni. Esikhundleni salokho, bahlonipha ukuzimela kwakho ukuze uzenzele izinqumo ezinzima futhi bazokusiza ukuthi uhlele ukuthi yikuphi okungcono kakhulu kuwe.

Uphinda amaphethini ekwelashweni okwenzayo empilweni yansuku zonke.

Abantu izidalwa ezinemikhuba. Iningi lethu linamathela emisebenzini yansuku zonke ukugcina impilo yethu isendleleni. Le mikhuba iba nomthelela kuyo yonke into kusuka kokudlayo ngesidlo sasekuseni kuya ohlotsheni lomuntu esikhetha ukuthandana naye. Inkinga? Akuyona yonke imikhuba emihle kithi. Uma kuziwa ebudlelwaneni, sivame ukuphindaphinda amaphethini angenampilo kaningi-mhlawumbe uqhubeka nokukhetha ozakwethu abangatholakali ngokomzwelo noma ubudlelwano obulimazayo uma sebefinyelele izinga lokusondelana ongakuphathi kahle. Imvamisa ekwelashweni, lawa maphethini ayaqhuma, ikakhulukazi uma usuzinze ebudlelwaneni bezokwelapha. Umehluko ukuthi ekwelashweni, unethuba lokubhekisisa ukuthi kungani uziphinda izinto ozenzayo. Ngokusho kukaBlatter, lapho izindlela zomuntu zivela ebudlelwaneni bezokwelapha, indawo yokwelashwa inikeza indawo ephephile yokuyiqonda: "Nganginesiguli esasinenkinga yokuqinisa ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni baso," esho. "Njengoba mina naye sasondela, ukukhathazeka kwakhe ngokusondelana kwethu kwaqala ukuziveza.Ngokwazi ukuzihlola endaweni ephephile yokwelashwa, wakwazi ukukhuluma ngokukhululeka kwakhe futhi ngenxa yalokho wakwazi ukusondelana ngokwengeziwe nabanye abantu empilweni yakhe. ubudlelwano bokwelapha, uzoba namathuluzi okusebenzisa lokho okufundile ngaphandle kwegumbi lokwelapha.

Unenkululeko yokuzama.

Ungase ungacabangi ngokwelashwa njengendawo yokudlala yengane enkulu, kodwa ngezinye izindlela kunjalo. Lapho sikhula, sivame ukukhohlwa ukuthi singazihlola kanjani ngokudlala. Sivame ukuba lukhuni ngokwengeziwe, ukuzithemba, futhi singavumi ukuzama. Ukwelashwa indawo engenazo ukwahlulela lapho ungazama khona izinto ezintsha endaweni enezinga eliphansi. Ungasho noma yini efika engqondweni, noma ngabe uyisilima noma uyinqaba kanjani ungacabanga ukuthi kuyezwakala. Ehhovisi lakho lobelaphi, ukhululekile futhi ukuhlola ngokuphephile imizwa nokuzijwayeza ukuziphatha okubangela ukukhathazeka empilweni yakho yansuku zonke. Ingabe ungenzi lutho futhi ukuthola kunzima ukukhuluma okucabangayo? Zijwayeze ukuqina nomelaphi wakho. Ingabe unobunzima bokulawula intukuthelo yakho? Zama izindlela zokuphumula. Lapho usuwaphindaphindile lawa makhono ngeseshini, ungazizwa uzethemba ngokwengeziwe ngokusingatha izingqinamba ezingaphandle kwehhovisi lomelaphi.

Ungazimangaza.

Ungahle ube nokuthile okudingayo ukuphuma esifubeni sakho. Awukwazi ukulinda isikhathi sakho sokwelashwa samasonto onke lapho ungaveza khona konke ngakho, bese kuthi-ke, uma isikhathi sifika, kwenzeke into ebingalindelekile nhlobo-uphuma esihlokweni futhi amagama aphuma emlonyeni wakho masha futhi ayamangaza. "Kube nezikhathi eziningi kakhulu ukuthi iziguli zandule ukuphawula ngokuthi 'Angikaze ngitshele muntu lokhu ngaphambilini' noma 'bengingalindele ukuthi ngizoveza lokhu,'" kusho uBlatter, othi okunye kwalokhu kungazenzisi kubangelwa ukuthembana okwakhiwe phakathi komelaphi neklayenti. Njengoba ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni bezokwelapha bujula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungase uvuleke kakhudlwana ukukhuluma ngezinto obuzigwema noma ufinyelele izinkumbulo ebezibuhlungu kakhulu. Ukuhlola indawo yakho ongayiqashile kungasabisa futhi kuvuse ukukhathazeka. Ungase uthole induduzo ngokwazi ukuthi abelaphi abaningi bebelokhu belulekwa bona (empeleni, kuma-psychoanalyst ekuqeqesheni, ukuba sekwelapheni kuyimfuneko), ukuze baqonde ukuthi kunjani ukuba semaphethelweni akho futhi bakuqondise kangcono inqubo.

Ubona abanye ngozwela.

Ngokwelashwa, awugcini nje ngokubheka izenzo zakho ngokujulile, ngokucabangisisa, kepha nakwabanye. Njengoba ukuzazi kwakho kukhula, uzozwela kakhulu ekutheni wonke umuntu unezwe eliyingqayizivele, eliyinkimbinkimbi elingaphakathi, nokuthi lingahluka kakhulu kwelakho. UBlatter ukhumbula amava akhe esebenza nendoda eyayithanda ukutolika ukuziphatha kwabanye abantu njengokubucayi nobubi ngenxa yobuntwana bakhe obuhlukumezayo: "Ezikhathini zethu zokwelashwa, bengizokhipha ezinye izindlela zokubuka lesi simo. Mhlawumbe lowo othandana naye ubengazethembi futhi engazimisele ukugxeka.Mhlawumbe umphathi ubengaphansi kwengcindezi enkulu ngakho-ke izimpendulo zakhe 'ezimfishane' zazikhombisa lokho kunokugxeka isiguli. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, isiguli sami saqala ukubona ukuthi kukhona amanye amalensi okufanele siwabuke emhlabeni kunalezo zokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kwabazali bokuqala." Ukwenza umzamo ongcono wokubona umhlaba ngamehlo abanye kuzosiza kakhulu ekuthuthukiseni nasekujuliseni ubudlelwano bakho.

Ungase ukhubeke.

Ungahle ucabange ukuthi uxazulule udaba oluthile, futhi lapho ungalulindelanga, inkinga iyavela futhi. Uma kwenzeka into efana nalena, ngoba ihlale yenza, ungadikibali. Intuthuko ayihambelani. Ukusho okuncane nje ukuthi indlela iyajika. Zilungiselele ukuthola amahla-ndinyuka amaningi, phambili okuningi nokubuyela emuva, futhi mhlawumbe neminye imibuthano. Uma unokuzazi ukubona ukuphindaphinda kwephethini yakho engenampilo nokuthi yini eyidalile, usuthatha isinyathelo ngendlela efanele. Ngakho-ke, ngesikhathi esilandelayo lapho uhamba, buyela ezinyaweni zakho, thatha umoya, futhi utshele ubelaphi wakho ngakho konke.

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