Izingane nosizi

Izingane zisabela ngendlela ehlukile kunabantu abadala lapho zibhekene nokufa kothandekayo. Ukududuza ingane yakho, funda izimpendulo ezijwayelekile osizini izingane ezinalo nezimpawu lapho ingane yakho ingabekezeleli kahle usizi.

Kuyasiza ukuqonda ukuthi izingane zicabanga kanjani ngaphambi kokukhuluma nazo ngokufa. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi kufanele ukhulume nabo ngaleyo ndaba ezingeni labo.

• Izinsana nojahidada bazokwazi ukuthi abantu badabukile. Kodwa ngeke babe nokuqonda kwangempela ngokufa.
• Izingane zasenkulisa zicabanga ukuthi ukufa kungokwesikhashana futhi kuyabuyela emuva. Bangabona ukufa njengokuhlukana nje.
• Izingane ezingaphezu kweminyaka emihlanu ubudala seziqala ukuqonda ukuthi ukufa kuhlala kuze kube phakade. Kepha bacabanga ukuthi ukufa kuyinto eyenzeka kwabanye, hhayi kubo noma emindenini yabo.
• Intsha iyaqonda ukuthi ukufa kuyisimiso sokusebenza komzimba futhi kungunaphakade.

Kuvamile ukuba lusizi ngokushona kwelungu lomndeni eliseduze noma umngane. Lindela ingane yakho ukuthi ikhombise uhla lwemizwa nokuziphatha okungavela ngezikhathi ezingalindelekile, njenge:

• Usizi nokukhala.
• Intukuthelo. Ingane yakho ingaqhuma ngentukuthelo, idlale kanzima, iphuphe kabi, noma ilwe namanye amalungu omndeni. Qonda ukuthi ingane ayizizwa ilawula.
• Ukwenza okuncane. Izingane eziningi zizosebenza zisencane, ikakhulukazi ngemuva kokushona komzali. Bangase bafune ukuzanyazanyiswa, ukulala umuntu omdala, noma benqabe ukushiywa bodwa.
• Ukubuza umbuzo ofanayo kaninginingi. Babuza ngoba abakholwa ngempela ukuthi umuntu abamthandayo ushonile futhi bazama ukwamukela okwenzekile.

Gcina lokhu okulandelayo engqondweni:

• Ungaqambi amanga ngokwenzekayo. Izingane zihlakaniphile. Bacosha ukungathembeki futhi bazozibuza ukuthi kungani uqamba amanga.
• Ungaziphoqi izingane ezisabayo ukuya emingcwabeni. Thola ezinye izindlela zokuthi izingane zakho zikhumbule futhi zihloniphe umufi. Isibonelo, ungakhanyisa ikhandlela, uthandaze, untanta ibhaluni uye esibhakabhakeni, noma ubuke izithombe.
• Yazisa othisha bengane yakho ngokwenzekile ukuze ingane ithole ukwesekwa esikoleni.
• Nikeza uthando olukhulu nokusekela izingane njengoba zisosizini. Bayeke bakhulume izindaba zabo balalele. Le ngenye yezindlela izingane ezingabhekana ngazo nosizi.
• Nikeza izingane isikhathi sokudabuka. Gwema ukutshela izingane ukuthi zibuyele emisebenzini ejwayelekile ngaphandle kwesikhathi sokudabuka. Lokhu kungadala izinkinga ezingokomzwelo kamuva.
• Nakekela usizi lwakho. Izingane zakho zibheka kuwe ukuze ziqonde ukuthi zingabhekana kanjani nosizi nokulahlekelwa.

Cela usizo kumhlinzeki wezokunakekelwa kwempilo yengane yakho uma ukhathazekile ngengane yakho. Izingane zingase zibe nezinkinga zangempela ngosizi uma:

• Ukuphika ukuthi kukhona umuntu oshonile
• Ucindezelekile futhi awunantshisekelo ngemisebenzi
• Abadlali nabangane babo
• Ukwenqaba ukuba yedwa
• Ukwenqaba ukuya esikoleni noma ukwehla kokusebenza kwesikole
• Ukubonisa izinguquko ekudleni
• Unenkinga yokulala
• Ukuqhubeka nokwenza okuncane isikhathi eside
• Ukusho ukuthi bazojoyina umuntu ofile

Iwebhusayithi yeAmerican Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. Usizi nezingane. www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Grief-008.aspx. Kubuyekezwe uJulayi 2018. Kufinyelelwe ngo-Agasti 7, 2020.

UMcCabe ME, uSerwint JR. Ukulahlekelwa, ukwehlukana, nokushonelwa. Ku: Kliegman RM, St Geme JW, Blum NJ, Shah SS, Tasker RC, Wilson KM, eds. Incwadi kaNelson Yezingane. Umhlaka 21. IPhiladelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2020: isahluko 30.

• Ukushonelwa
• Impilo Yomqondo Wengane