Amathiphu angu-7 Ezinkulumo Ezincane Zemicimbi Yamaholide

-Delile

• Lungiselela Amaphuzu Okukhuluma
• Zikhulume
• Dlala "Igeyimu Yengxoxo"
• Khumbula Ukulandela
• Gwema "Ababulali Bengxoxo"
• Khothama Ngomusa
• Thatha ophefumulayo
• Buyekeza kwe-

Iqoqo lokuqala lezimemo zamaphathi amaholide seliqalile ukufika. Futhi yize kukuningi okumele sikuthande ngale mibuthano yemikhosi, ukuhlangana nabantu abaningi kangaka abasha nokwenza izingxoxo ezincane kangaka kungacindezela ngisho nakulabo abazalwa benesipho sika-gab.

“Iningi lethu lisuke lizicabangela lona kulezi zimo, futhi licabanga ukuthi wonke umuntu osendlini uyaqaphela ukuthi asinamuntu esingakhuluma naye noma azi ukuthi asikhululekile,” kusho uchwepheshe wezinkulumo ezincane uDebra Fine, umbhali wezincwadi. Ngaphandle Kokuthumela Imiyalezo futhi Ubuciko obuhle bezinkulumo ezincane. Ngokujabulisayo, uthi lokho akulona iqiniso. Emaphathini, wonke umuntu (ngaphandle komsingathi) ucabanga ngokwabo-izingubo zabo, abangane babo, nezinhlelo zabo zakamuva. Abazazi neze ukuthi kungani umi wedwa ngoqwembe lweshizi. (Ngakho-ke ungethuki-noma ungahle uthande ukufunda Izeluleko Ezingazami Zokugwema Ukudla ngokweqile Emicimbini Yamaholide.)

Indlela elula yokwenza kahle izinkulumo ezincane, kusho uFine, ilele ekuphumeni ngaphandle kwekhanda lakho. Uthi: "Kufanele uhlale uthwala umthwalo wenduduzo yalowo oxoxa naye," esho. Uma usuyeka ukukhathazeka ngokuthi kanjani uwena ukusuka bese uqala ukugxila ekwenzeni omunye umuntu akhululeke, ukungazethembi kuyawa, kukushiye ukhululekile ukuba ukhazimule. Lezi zeluleko eziyisishiyagalombili zizokusiza wenze lokho kanye.

Lungiselela Amaphuzu Okukhuluma

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Ngaphambi kwephathi, cabanga ngemibuzo embalwa. (Kulesi sikhathi sonyaka, u-Fine uphakamisa ukuthi, “Ziyini izinhlelo zakho [zomsebenzi, uhambo, iholide, njll.] zonyaka ozayo?” “Ingabe wenza noma yiziphi izinqumo zikaNcibijane?” kanye nokuthi “Ziyini izinhlelo zakho zeholide—noma yikuphi ukuzijabulisa amasiko? ") Bese ubiza izihloko ezimbalwa ongakhuluma ngazo uma ubuzwa. Mhlawumbe uqeqeshela umncintiswano noma ube nomndeni ozovakasha. Ngale ndlela, uzoba nayo yonke ifolishi yengxoxo oyidingayo ukuze ugweme izikhathi ezingezinhle.

Zikhulume

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Uma ungamazi omunye umuntu ephathini, ukuzethula kungakwethusa. Ukwenza kube lula, uBill Lampton, Ph.D., umongameli weChampionship Communication, uphakamisa ukukhuluma ngawe. Okokuqala, vele uzethule. Bese, uveza isihloko ozikhethele sona, esingaba lula njengokuthi umazi kanjani umphathi wephathi noma kube nzima njengokuthi isizini ithinta kanjani uhlelo lwakho lomsebenzi, ("Mfana, ngimatasatasa. UNovemba inyanga yethu ematasatasa kakhulu emsebenzini!" ). Ekugcineni, mema umlingani wakho okhulumayo ukuthi ahlolisise: "Ingabe umsebenzi wakho uyasithatha nalesi sikhathi sonyaka?" Bam-instant convo!

Dlala "Igeyimu Yengxoxo"

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Ugibe abantu abaningi abangena kulo ukuphendula imibuzo yabanye abantu ngokungaphelele, kusho uFine. Kuyaqondakala. Ngemuva kwakho konke, "Yini entsha?" imvamisa iyikhodi ye- "Sawubona." Kepha lapho uzama ukwenza inkulumo encane, uphendula, "Hhayi okuningi, wena?" is a stopfire ingxoxo surefire. Esikhundleni salokho, uFine uthi ukwenza iphuzu lokunikeza impendulo yangempela. "Uma othile ebuza nje, 'Aye kanjani amaholidi akho?' kunokuba ngithi nje kulungile, ngingathi, 'Kuhle, womabili amadodana ami eza evela empumalanga azohlala isonto nathi. Ngikulangazelele kakhulu.' "Ngaleyo ndlela, uthi, unikele yenza izihloko eziningi zezingxoxo-izingane zakho, uhambo lweholide, izivakashi, njalo njalo.

Khumbula Ukulandela

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Noma udlala umdlalo wengxoxo njengochwepheshe, umuntu okhuluma naye kungenzeka angabi yikho. Uma unikezwa izimpendulo zegama elilodwa, jula ujule, kusho uFine. "Kumele ukhombise ukuthi ubengaqondile nje ukuthi 'Sawubona' ngenkathi uthi 'Kuhamba kanjani?'" Uyachaza. "Uma bephendula, 'Kuhle,' lungiselela ukulandelela, njengokuthi, 'Yini entsha ngawe kusukela ngigcina ukukubona?'" (Ungaphuthelwa Kungani Izingxoxo Zihamba Kabi-Nokuthi Ungazilungisa Kanjani.)

Gwema "Ababulali Bengxoxo"

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Umthetho omuhle wesithupha uwukubalekela ukubuza noma yini ongayazi impendulo yayo, kusho uFine. Lokho kusho ukuthi cha "Linjani isoka lakho?" uma ungazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi basendawonye, ​​cha "Unjani umsebenzi wakho?" Ngaphandle kokuthi ungaqinisekisa ukuthi usasebenza lapho, futhi cha "Ngabe ungene ePenn State?" ngaphandle kokuthi uyazi. Namathela kumibuzo ebanzi, efana nokuthi "Yini entsha?" noma "Noma yiziphi izinhlelo zonyaka ozayo?"

Khothama Ngomusa

Uvalelwe ekhoneni uCathy oxoxayo selokhu ungenile? Thatha umbono kubaphathi bezingxoxo. Uma bephelelwa yisikhathi phakathi kwengxenye yezindaba, bazokhombisa lowo okhulunywa naye ngokuthi okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Kunesikhathi sombuzo owodwa futhi," noma "Sisele cishe nomzuzu kuphela…"

Ngokusobala, awunakuba buthakathaka kangako empilweni yangempela, kepha zama ukulahla izeluleko-noma, njengoba uFine ekubiza kanjalo, "uphakamise ifulegi elimhlophe." Okokuqala, vuma okushiwo omunye umuntu: "Hawu, izingane zakho zizwakala ziphumelele ngempela." Bese uzulisa ifulege elimhlophe: "Ngisanda kubona umngane wami engena futhi ngifuna ukusho ukuthi ..." Futhi ekugcineni, nikeza ukuphawula okokugcina noma umbuzo. "… Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba ngikwenze, ngitshele, uSally ugcine kanjani enza kuma-SATs akhe?" "Lokhu kunishiya nobabili niphume ngesizotha," kusho uFine.

Thatha ophefumulayo

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Uma ungenisa, unamahloni, noma uzizwa ukhathele noma ugula, amaqembu angaba nengcindezi. Kungakho u-Fine ephakamisa ukuthi uzinike i-breather esakhelwe ngaphakathi. Ngaphambi kokuhlangana, uzozinika umgomo—imvamisa into efana nokukhuluma nabantu ababili noma abathathu abasha. Uma esefeze isabelo sakhe, uzinika isikhathi sokuphumula, aziphumulele yedwa. Lokhu kumnika isikhuthazo esengeziwe sokuzijabulisa, ngaphandle kokushiswa-kuqinisekisa ukuthi uzoba nesikhathi esihle.

Buyekeza kwe-