Iminyaka, Ubuhlanga, Nobulili: Ziguqula Kanjani Lezi Zindaba Zethu Zokungazali

-Delile

• Kukhona izindleko zezimali nezingokomzwelo
• Ukungabi nenzalo kubukeka kanjena, futhi

Iminyaka yami kanye nemithelela yezezimali nengokomzwelo yobumnyama kanye nokudlulela komlingani wami kusho ukuthi izinketho zethu zihlala zincipha.

Umfanekiso ka-Alyssa Kiefer

Esikhathini esiningi sempilo yami, bengikubheka ukubeletha njengomkhuba wezinzalamizi okufanele ngikuphikise. Kodwa-ke, lolo hambo lwasuka ngendlela engalindelekile selokhu ngahlangana nendoda eyodwa engingathanda ukukhulisa izingane nayo, uma kubhekwa ukuthi ubuqotho bayo nobubele bayo bungaxhasa kanjani uhlobo lobuzali engilufisayo.

Ngeshwa, kusamele ngifunde indatshana ekhuluma ngokungabatholi abantwana eveza ukuthi sinzima kangakanani lesi sifiso sokuba nengane uma umlingani wakho emnyama, futhi edlula, ngenxa yesipiliyoni esibuhlungu kakhulu sokusinda kulo mphakathi olwa nabantu abaMnyama, o-transphobic, no-bigoted . Ngenkathi ngingeke ngidayise umzuzwana nalomuntu nganoma yisiphi isizathu, ukuzwa leli qiniso kuye bekukhanyisa.

Ikakhulukazi njengowesifazane onsundu, ngithole impendulo engacelwanga emashumini eminyaka yokuthi ngiyakhula futhi kufanele ngicabange ngokujulile ngokuqala komndeni. Njengesigamu sabashadikazi abazozama ukuthwala lokho manje okungathathwa njengokukhulelwa okubelethile ukukuqeda, ukungabi nenzalo kukhula njengokukhathazeka usuku ngalunye oludlulayo kimi.

Ngolunye lwezinsuku zethu zokuqala, lapho kwakusazwakala sengathi akukho lutho olwalungafinyeleleka othandweni lwethu olusha lwamazolo, ngikhumbula injabulo yami mayelana nentshisekelo yethu kanye nokuqonda ukukhulisa izingane. Okuhambisana nalokhu kwamangala ukuthi le ngxoxo yayivele isezindebeni zethu, njengoba ngangizixwayisa ngokuthola ithemba lami ngathi.

Kukhona izindleko zezimali nezingokomzwelo

Ngokwehluke kakhulu emuva ngaleso sikhathi, manje sengiphethe isikweletu esidlula isamba semalimboleko yabafundi engangiyikhokhile, ngenxa yokuxhasa ngokwezimali umlingani wami owayencishwa amathuba. Lokhu kukodwa kwenza ikusasa elihlanganisa ukukhulelwa lizizwe lingenakwenzeka kimi.

Njengowesifazane ocwaswa ngokobuhlanga, ngiyabazi ubuqiniso bokungavikeleki komsebenzi. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​nobungcweti kuvame ukususwa yimibono engemihle ngami evela kumuntu omhlophe, okungahambi kahle kwakhe okuvame ukuba namandla okungibona ngingelutho olufanele amathuba abo obuchwepheshe. Izinkathazo zami mayelana nokuzinza kwezezimali zanda ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, njengoba ngangiqonda imigoqo eyengeziwe ebangelwa ukuba Mnyama nokudlulisa kulo mphakathi.

Ngaphambi kokuhlangana nomlingani wami, nginamahloni ukusho ukuthi bengingacabangi ngokujulile ngezindleko ezivame ukuhlotshaniswa nesipiliyoni se-trans.

Izindleko zezidingo ezinjengamaphakethe okufakelwa, ukuqeqeshwa komuntu nge-dysphoria, i-CBD yokuphathwa kobuhlungu nokulala, ukuhlinzwa okuqinisekisa ubulili, ushintsho lwezomthetho ekuhlonzweni komuntu, kanye nokwelashwa okunekhono ngokwamasiko kuphezulu, kepha kubalulekile empilweni yomzimba nengqondo.

Ngeshwa, ngenxa yokufinyelela kude ekucindezelweni okuhlelekile, ngaphandle kwemizamo yakhe emihle, umlingani wami ube nobunzima ekutholeni nasekugcineni umsebenzi ozinzile emzimbeni ahlala kuwo ngaphandle kwephutha lakhe.

Ukube umhlaba ebesikholwa ukuthi ubukhona, ngenkathi sikhula njengezingane ezibandlululwa ngabazali bokufika abasishukumisela ukuthi sisebenze kanzima ukuze sifinyelele empumelelweni yobungcweti kanye nokuzinza kwezezimali, lokhu bekungeke kube yiqiniso lethu.

Esikhundleni salokho, ngisebenza imisebenzi eminingi engadingi ukusebenza ngokomzimba, kuyilapho yena ezulazula emsebenzini weshift ofaka umsebenzi wezandla njalo.

Ngale ndlela, njengomlingani onelungelo elingaphezulu, ngizizwa nginesibopho sokuziphatha ukuthwala umthwalo wezindleko angenakukwazi ukuzilawula, ngenxa yokuthi lesi simo esiyinkinga kakhulu yingakho isikweletu sami esingcono singinika ngisho nokufanelekela isikweletu esikhulu kangaka.

Ngeshwa, akukaze kube yisikhathi esifanele sokuhlola isihloko salokho okuzwakala njengebhomu lami lokukhathaza uhlelo lokuzala.

Bekungeke kube kuhle lapho umlingani wami we-dysphoric ebuyela ekuqongeleleni izinkulungwane zamaRandi esikweletini sekhadi lesikweletu ngesinqumo esisindisa impilo sokulandela ukuhlinzekwa okuphezulu esikhathini esedlule, njengomphumela oqondile wokunakekelwa okunganele kwe-trans.

Futhi azizwa njengesikhathi manje, njengoba esebenzela ukubuyela esikoleni ukuhlinzeka ngokusekelwa kwezempilo yengqondo okudingeka kakhulu ngokwesiko kubantu ababelana ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe.

Ngokuqinisekile bekungeke kusafaneleka ekuqaleni lapho ekugcineni ekwazile ukweqa amahuphu anele ukuze i-hysterectomy yakhe yenziwe ekugcineni.

Isikhathi besingafanele ngisho nangaphambi kwalapho lapho ebecindezeleke kakhulu ukuthi angasebenza ngemali ekhokhelwayo futhi ecindezeleke ngokweqile ngokuthinteka okungalindelekile komzimba okwenza impendulo yokuhlukumezeka.

Ukungabi nenzalo kubukeka kanjena, futhi

Indaba yami kungenzeka ukuthi ayifikeki engqondweni uma abantu becabanga ngokungabi nenzalo, kepha i-Oxford Dictionary ichaza ngokuthi, “ukungakwazi ukukhulelwa izingane noma izingane.” Ngale ndlela, ukungatholi inzalo kusebenza ngokungangabazeki ekulandiseni kwethu, lapho izindleko zokuhlola ukukhulelwa zingavumelekile ngenxa yemingcele eyingqayizivele ebekwe kowesifazane osekhulile osekhulile nomlingani wakhe oMnyama, ohamba phambili.

Kodwa-ke noma nini lapho ngibuzwa ukuthi kungani singakawuqali umndeni, kufanele ngilume ulimi lwami. Ukuchazwa okunengqondo njengalokho engikunikeze lapha kungadinga ukuthi ngikhiphe umlingani wami we-trans, ngakho-ke ngenza konke okusemandleni ami ukushintsha isihloko siye kunoma yisiphi isihloko sengxoxo esiphephile.

Esikhundleni salokho, ngiyethemba izingxoxo ezingase zingasebenzi ukubuza uqobo lobuntu bomlingani wami ngemibono engacelwanga, engenalwazi. Esikhundleni salokho, ngicwila egobolondo lokuzithoba lobuntu obekulindelwe ngabesifazane abansundu, abamomotheka futhi banqekuzise ngokuthula, sengathi babonga isikhumbuzi esidingeka kakhulu sokuncipha kwamathuba okukhulelwa kwami ​​ngenkathi ngilawula ngaphakathi iqiniso leqiniso lokusinda kwethu kwansuku zonke lokucindezelwa.

Ingxenye embi kakhulu yakho konke lokhu kube ukuqaphela okukhulayo ukuthi ngingumuntu oguquke kakhulu kunabo bonke engake ngaba nabo ekuqondeni kwami ​​kobuntu ngokunikwa ukuthi ngigxile kangakanani ekucabangeni ngezinto ezifana nobulili nobuhlanga ngokomongo wobudlelwano bami. Ukuhlangabezana nalezi zivivinyo nezinsizi nomlingani wami nakho kukhulise ububele bami kwifolx.

Ngiyabona ukuthi abanye kungenzeka babhekene nezinselelo, okungenzeka ukuthi anginakho ukuqaphela okukude. Lokhu kusho kahle ukuba ngumzali omnene emhlabeni olimaza kabi abanye ngokungaphezulu.

Kulesi sikhathi esiphila kusona, ekugcineni sengikulungele ukuba yicala elincane lokwahlulela kimi njengomzali, nokho amathuba ami okwenza lokho ngokwemvelo akwazi ukwehla usuku nosuku ngokubambisana nothando lwempilo yami.

Ngalesi sizathu, ngiyethemba ukuthi abafundi bayayikhumbula njalo indaba yami futhi ibanikeza ikhefu. Okufanelekile, kubakhumbuza ukuthi bayeke ukubuza imibuzo ejulile yabanye, ngalokhu kuqonda kokuthi ukungafihli izinto kungaphinde kuzibeke engcupheni kanjani izinto ezibucayi zabathandekayo ababencishwe amathuba.

U-Priya Nandoo igama lepeni lomnikeli ofisa ukungaziwa.