Ingabe Silahlekelwa Amantombazane Ethu?

-Delile

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Nganoma yiluphi usuku, amantombazane amancane [aneminyaka engu-13 nengu-14 ubudala] angatholakala echitha ibhulakufesi nesidlo sasemini endlini yokuwasha yesikole. Kuyinto yeqembu: ukucindezela kontanga, umuthi omusha owuthandayo. Bahamba ngamaqoqo amabili kuya kwayishumi nambili, beshintshana ezindlini, bafundisana ngakho. . .

"Eqenjini lami labangane, sinomlutha we-syndrome engamakhilogremu amahlanu. ' Amakhilogremu amahlanu angaphansi ngaso sonke isikhathi angcono njalo. Kumele ngivume, ngikwenze konke ukunciphisa umzimba.Ngizile ukudla izinsuku eziyishumi ngiqondile, ngidle ngokweqile ngama-laxatives, ngavivinya amahora amaningi kunalokho, ngadla ulethisi ngo-6 pm nje ukuyilahla.Ngiyazi ukuthi ngiyagula, kodwa eziningi zalezi zinto ngiyazifihla.Abangane bami ababili bayazi ngoba nabo [sic] bayagula.Sinemiqhudelwano ebulawa yindlala,bona ukuthi ubani ongakala okungenani ngesonto elizayo. ...

"Ngiyakuzonda ukukusho, kodwa intombazane eyingqayizivele enganayo i-anorexic noma i-bulimic, noma kunjalo, esikoleni sami. Lokhu kujwayelekile. Ngijwayelekile futhi abangane bami bajwayelekile. Singabesifazane bakusasa."

Lokhu osanda kukufunda kuvela enganeni eneminyaka engu-7 ubudala -- alikho igama elizodalula ukuthi ungubani; cha "othandekayo noma ngobuqotho" ukucisha ubukhona bakhe, alikho ikheli lokubiza impendulo. Besingavele siyiphose kudoti le ncwadi. Kepha besizokwenzenjani ngabo bonke abanye abanjengayo - izinkulungwane zezimpendulo ezafika ngenkathi sibiza wonke amantombazane aphakathi kweminyaka eyi-11 nengu-17 ukuzophendula inhlolovo yethu yezithombe zomzimba?

Kuzo zonke izilingo nezinsizi okungenzeka mina nawe sabhekana nazo, ukugibela kwanamuhla phakathi nobusha kushube kakhulu. Ngenkathi lawo ma-hitchhikes asesha imiphefumulo ehlobo eledlule manje asebenza nge-cyberblur emgwaqeni omkhulu wolwazi, umakhelwane womakhelwane kungenzeka nje ukuthi wenza amabhomu ngemuva komgodi wokosa inyama. Yebo, thina njengabasha kungenzeka ukuthi sikhathazekile ngokuya ocansini, kepha amantombazane esimanje akhathazeka ngokufa kwawo. Futhi yize ubugebengu bungeyona into entsha, ngabe sike sahlala ekilasini sizibuza ukuthi ngabe umfana edeskini elilandelayo ubephethe isibhamu esigcwele ngaphansi kwebhulukwe lakhe eligcwele izikhwama?

Ekugcineni, lesi yisikhathi lapho izingane ezineminyaka engu-9 zibala amakhalori azo ngokushesha kunemali eziyitholayo, futhi izinkinga zokudla zitholakala kuyo yonke indawo njengezikaLevi. Isikhathi, futhi, lapho enye intsha, ekuphelelweni kwayo isineke ukuhlasela imizimba ezondayo, yeqa izinkezo nezimfoloko, iqonde ngqo ummese. "Akekho ofuna ukukhuluma ngokuzisika, kodwa amantombazane ayakwenza," kusho uPeggy Orenstein, umbhali we Amantombazane Esikole: Abesifazane Abancane, Ukuzethemba kanye Negebe Lokuzethemba (Doubleday, 1994), owathola ukuthi omunye wezifundo zakhe zebanga lesi-8 wayezilimaza ngezinsingo nezinsimbi zogwayi. "Kuyindlela yokwenza ulaka lwakho emzimbeni wakho. Angisalawuleki."

Ayephi wonke amantombazane amancane? Esikhundleni sokukhula njengezimbali eziqhakaza, kubonakala sengathi zishaywa ngaphandle kwengadi yobuntwana njengokudutshulwa kwenganono. Ngokwemvelo, uma zindiza, zibhola phezulu ukugwema udlame.

Ishumi nanhlanu yiminyaka lapho konke ongakwenza ukulinda impilo ibe ngcono ngenkathi wonke umuntu okuzungezile engeke azame nokuzama ukuqonda ukuthi imbi kangakanani.

-16, Michigan

Ngokuqaphela ubunzima obukhulayo, thina kwa-Shape sahlangana nenhlangano engenzi nzuzo i-Melpomene Institute e-St. Paul, e-Minnesota, eyaziwa ngocwaningo lwayo ngabantu besifazane abakhuthele ngokomzimba. Sisonke, sakhe ucwaningo olungaphenya ukuphila kwentombazane lapho, kwabanye, isithombe somzimba siqala ukubola futhi sonakalise ukuzethemba okuphelele, kuyilapho kwabanye, ukuzethemba ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo kuhlala kuphakeme. Kungani kunomehluko? Sasifuna ukwazi. Singakwazi yini ukufunda ukucekela phansi inqubo elimazayo futhi sigweme okunye ukukhathazeka ngokudla nesisindo esibhekana nakho thina njengabantu abadala? Cishe izimpendulo ezingama-3 800 nezinyanga ezimbalwa zokuhlolwa kamuva, sinezimpendulo ezithile. Kepha okokuqala, ake sibheke iso lengane ngemininingwane ezungezile.

Hlangana no-Cory (okungelona igama lakhe langempela), oneminyaka engu-16 ubudala wasedolobhaneni elincane e-Michigan-uhlobo lwentombazane emaka ucwaningo lwayo ngobuso obumomothekayo, enesoka, futhi ngokuqinisekile, ihlukunyezwa ama-laxative. ("Amantombazane amaningi kunalokho ongacabanga ukuthi ayakwenza," kusho uCory ngocingo. "Kuvela ababi kakhulu. Abantu abanjengami, akekho obonayo.") Ngokubona kwakhe, izinkinga ziqala ngamantombazane asemasha ngoba, "Thina asikwazi ukuzivumela ukuthi sibe yilokho esiyikho ngempela, ngakho-ke siqala ukuzizwa sengathi lowo muntu esimfihlayo akabalulekile ngalutho. Ngaphandle kokuthile okusiqinisekisa ukuthi siyadingeka, silahlekile. Ngakho-ke nganoma yisiphi isizathu esingaqondakali, siqala ukucabanga ukuthi ukuba muhle, ukuphelela, ukuphatha kuzosinika esikufunayo. "

Amantombazane amaningi aneminyaka ephakathi kweyi-11 noma 12 aqala ukuthulisa amazwi awo futhi alahlekelwe isibindi—isibindi sokukhuluma okucabangayo ngokusuka enhliziyweni—ngokomsebenzi wokuphayona ka-Annie G. Rogers, Ph.D., kanye noCarol Gilligan, Ph.D. ., yena kanye nabanye e-Harvard Project on Women’s Psychology and Girls’ Development sebeneminyaka engu-20 befundela intsha. Ngalesi sikhathi, abacwaningi bathi, intsha ivame ukuya "ngaphansi komhlaba" ngemicabango nemizwa yayo yangempela bese iqala ukucwilisa inkulumo yayo ngokuthi "Angazi."

Azikho izikhuthazo eziningi zamantombazane amancane. Akukaze, "KULUNGILE, ungakwenza." Kunjalo nje, "Vumela umfowenu akwenze." Kuyabulala.

-18, ENew Jersey

Ngo-1991, ucwaningo olwenziwa yi-American Association of University Women (AAUW) lwabonisa ukuthi ukuzethemba kwehla kangakanani njengoba amantombazane ekhula, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwabamhlophe nama-Hispanics: amaphesenti angu-60 amantombazane esikole samabanga aphansi athi ahlala njalo " ngendlela engijabule ngayo,” kodwa ngamaphesenti angu-29 kuphela abafundi besikole esiphakeme ababike okufanayo - ukwehla okubonisa igebe elikhulayo lokuthembana phakathi kobulili, uma kucatshangelwa ukuthi abafana behle kuphela kusuka kumaphesenti angama-67 kuya kumaphesenti angama-46. Khonamanjalo, lolu cwaningo luthole nokuthi ngenkathi izinsizwa zibiza amathalente azo njengalokho ezikuthanda kakhulu ngabo, abesifazane basekela ukubaluleka kwabo ekubukekeni komzimba.

"Sicabange lapho siqala ukuthi izinto zizohluka eminyakeni engama-20 ngemuva kwesihloko IX, amalungelo omphakathi, futhi isibalo esikhulu sabesifazane manje sebengena ezikoleni zezokwelapha nezomthetho," kusho u-Anne Bryant, umqondisi omkhulu we-AAUW. "Kepha yize amantombazane nabafana bethola amamaki afanayo-amantombazane angenza kangcono - imiyalezo abayithola emphakathini, abamagazini, i-TV, ontanga kanye nabantu abadala ukuthi ukubaluleka kwabo kuncane nokuthi ukubaluleka kwabo kuhlukile kunokwabesilisa .

Umbuzo: Yiziphi izinto ezikwenza uzizwe ukahle ngendlela obukeka ngayo?

Impendulo: Lapho ngigijima amamayela amahlanu futhi ngeqa isidlo sasemini.

Q: Yiziphi izinto ezikwenza uzizwe kabi ngendlela obukeka ngayo?

IMP: Uma ngingazivocavoci futhi [ngi] ngidla.

-17, eWashington

Impela, intombazane yesimanje eyeve eshumini nambili ifunda ukukala ukubaluleka kwayo esikalini-lapho inani liphansi, likhuphuka kakhulu. Futhi ngama-calories namafutha amagremu manje aseprintiwe ezintweni eziningi zokudla, uzondla ngokoqobo ngezibalo zokususa umzimba. I-National Institute of Mental Health ilinganisela iphesenti elilodwa lamantombazane asanda kweva eshumini nambili aba ne-anorexia nervosa kanti amanye amaphesenti amabili kuya kwamathathu abesifazane abasebasha aba ne-bulimic. Kodwa lezo zibalo zibhekisela ezimweni ezinzima kakhulu zomtholampilo; Kuwo wonke ama-akhawunti, ukudla okungahambi kahle kungene cishe kuwo wonke ama-cafeteria asezikoleni eziphakeme.

UCatherine Steiner-Adair, Ed.D., umqondisi wezemfundo, ukuvimbela kanye nokufinyelela esikhungweni esisha seHarvard Eating Disorder Center, ubona ukuphazamiseka kokudla njengezimpendulo "eziguquguqukayo" esikweni elihlola intombazane encane, "Yehlisa amakhilogremu amahlanu nawe ' ngizozizwa ngingcono," ngenkathi emcindezela ukuba azilambele ngokomzwelo ukuze aqhubekele phambili.

Kusukela ebuntwaneni, kuchaza uSteiner-Adair, owesifazane ufundiswa ukuthembela kakhulu ekwamukelweni nasempendulweni evela kwabanye nokwakha ubunikazi bakhe ngaphakathi kobudlelwano. Kepha ngesikhathi sobusha kulindeleke ukuthi ashintshe amagiya abe yindlela "yokuzenzela", azimele ngokuphelele kubantu ngendlela amadoda ahlangana ngayo ukuba abe - uma efuna ukuzilawula ngokukhuphuka esigabeni somsebenzi.

Kokunye ukuhlola, uSteiner-Adair wahlukanisa amantombazane angama-32, aneminyaka eyi-14 kuya kwengu-18, aba ngamaqembu amabili: Owesifazane Ohlakaniphileyo angakwazi ukubona okulindelwe ngamasiko kepha aqhubeke nokugxila ekubalulekeni kobudlelwano njengoba befuna ukugcwaliswa ngokwabo nokwaneliseka. Amantombazane ayiSuper Woman abonakala ehlobanisa ukuzaca nokuzimela, impumelelo nokuqashelwa impumelelo ezimele, elwela ukuba into esezingeni eliphezulu -- umlingisi odumile, ocebe ngendlela emangalisayo, umongameli webhizinisi. Yize iningi lamantombazane lalikhathazekile ngesisindo sawo, uSteiner-Adair wathola ukuthi amantombazane amaSuper Women kuphela ayesengozini yokuphazamiseka ekudleni.

Wonke umuntu ungitshela ukuthi udadewethu omdala muhle - unomdlavuza futhi une-bulimic.

17-Canada

Ngokusobala, akuwona wonke umuntu oneminyaka engu-13 ubudala onenkinga yokudla, okuncane kakhulu okubhalisela i-Bulimia Club, kodwa isithombe sokuhlanza okuningi sibonakala sichaza isizukulwane se-post-X sabesifazane abasha abahlanza izinkolelo zabo zangaphakathi kanye nokuzethemba- ukubambelela, esikhundleni salokho, emagatsheni abukeka entekenteke ekukhungathekeni okwenyukayo kokukhuphuka ebufazini. Kaningi, amagatsha ayaphuka.

"Sidinga ukukholwa ukuthi siyakufanelekela, ukuthi akudingeki ukuthi siphelele, nokuthi kufanele sibe yilokho esiyikho," kusho uCory. "Kodwa ungakubhala phansi lokho kodwa ungakwenzi abantu baqonde.... Ngisafisa ukuthi ngabe ngangizacile. Ngisazitika ngotshwala ngezikhathi ezithile, futhi ngasizathu simbe angikwazi ukuzilahla okokugcina imishanguzo yami," uyanezela.

Ekugcineni, akekho kithi ongaguqula isiko ngesandla esisodwa, kepha imiphumela yocwaningo lwethu lomzimba ikhombisa ukuthi njengabantu ngabanye, singenza izinguquko ezincane ezihlanganayo. Ngisho noma sisiza intombazane eyodwa ukuba ikhumbule amazwi ayo futhi izizwe iqiniseka ngomzimba wayo, lokho kuzoba kancane ukunyamalala esizukulwaneni sethu esilandelayo.

Anginawo umqondo wokuthi ngibukeka kanjani. Ngezinye izinsuku ngivuka ngizizwe njengebhulogi elidala elikhulu. Kwesinye isikhathi ngizizwa ngikahle. Impela idlula impilo yami, into yomzimba wonke.

- UCory, oneminyaka engu-16

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