Ingabe Isizungu Esingamahlalakhona Sikhona Ngempela?

-Delile

• Kungani abantu benesizungu?
• Izimpawu
• Ukuxilongwa
• Izinkinga
• Ukugula okungalapheki
• Ikhwalithi yokulala
• Ukucindezeleka
• Ukucindezeleka
• Ukwelashwa
• Izeluleko zokuphila
• Ukuvimbela
• Ukubonana nodokotela nini
• Okubalulekile

"Akekho ofuna ukuba nesizungu," kungaba umugqa osuka engomeni ye-pop, kodwa futhi kuyiqiniso elifanelekile jikelele.

Isizungu esingapheli yigama elichaza isizungu esihlangabezane nesikhathi eside. Ngenkathi isizungu, nesizungu esingapheli, kungezona izimo ezithile zempilo yengqondo, zisengathinta impilo yakho yengqondo nengokwejwayelekile.

Isizungu sichaza imizwa engemihle engenzeka lapho izidingo zakho zokuxhumana nabantu zingafinyelelwanga. Kuyinto evamile ukujabulela ukuchitha isikhathi wedwa ngezikhathi ezithile. Eqinisweni, isikhathi sisodwa singakusiza uphumule futhi uvuselele. Abantu banezidingo ezihlukile zesikhathi sodwa, ngakho-ke ungahle udinge okungaphezu komunye umuntu ukuze uzizwe umuhle kakhulu.

Noma kunjalo, ukuba wedwa nokuba nesizungu akufani neze. Lapho ukujabulela ukuba wedwa, kungenzeka ukuthi awuzizwa ukhishwe inyumbazane ngendlela engeyinhle noma ufise ukuxhumana nabanye. Ukuhlukaniswa nesizungu kuvame ukuhambisana, futhi zombili zingathinti impilo yezemizwa kuphela kepha nenhlalakahle jikelele.

Funda ukuze ufunde kabanzi ngesizungu esingelapheki, kufaka phakathi ukuthi ungasibona kanjani, izinkinga ezingaba khona, nezinye izindlela ezingakhuphula ukuxhumana kwakho nomphakathi futhi unciphise imizwa yesizungu.

Kungani abantu benesizungu?

Isizungu singenzeka ngezizathu eziningi. Isibonelo, ungazizwa unesizungu uma:

• shintsha izikole noma imisebenzi
• sebenza ekhaya
• uthuthele edolobheni elisha
• qeda ubuhlobo
• bahlala bodwa okokuqala ngqa

Njengoba ujwayela lezi zimo ezintsha, imizwa yesizungu ingadlula, kepha kwesinye isikhathi iyaqhubeka. Akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukukhuluma ngokuzizwa unesizungu, futhi uma ukuthola kunzima ukufinyelela kwabanye, ungazizwa uwedwa nakakhulu.

Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana okunengqondo nakho kunomthelela ekubeni nesizungu, yingakho ungazizwa unesizungu noma ngabe unenethiwekhi ebanzi yokuxhumana nabantu.

Mhlawumbe unabangane abaningi abayitoho futhi ugcwalisa isikhathi sakho ngemisebenzi yokuzijabulisa kodwa ungazizwa usondelene kakhulu nanoma ngubani. Ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi nemibhangqwana nemindeni nakho kungaholela emizweni yokuba nesizungu uma ungashadile futhi ungafuni ukuba njalo. Lokhu kungenzeka ngisho noma ungashadile ngenjabulo.

Ukuhlala nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo noma yomzimba kungakhuphula ubungozi bokuba nesizungu. Ukukhathazeka ngempilo kungahlukanisa, ngoba kungaba nzima ukuchaza ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Kwesinye isikhathi imisebenzi yezenhlalo ifuna amandla amaningi kakhulu ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba, futhi ungaqeda ukukhansela izinhlelo eziningi kunawe ozigcinayo.

Ekugcineni, ukuntuleka okuqhubekayo kokuxhumana nabantu kungakwenza uzizwe ubi kakhulu.

Izimpawu

Uma unesizungu, ungazizwa udabukile, ungenalutho, noma sengathi ushoda ngento ebalulekile lapho uchitha isikhathi wedwa. Isizungu esingapheli singabandakanya nezimpawu ezilandelayo:

• amandla anciphile
• ngizizwa nginenkungu noma ngingakwazi ukugxila
• ukuqwasha, ukuphazamiseka kokulala, noma ezinye izingqinamba zokulala
• ukuncipha kokudla
• imizwa yokungazithembi, yokuphelelwa yithemba, noma yokuzizwa ungelutho
• ukuthambekela kokugula njalo
• ubuhlungu bomzimba
• imizwa yokukhathazeka noma yokungahlaliseki
• ukwanda kokuthenga
• ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa
• isifiso esengeziwe sokuzitika ngakubukwa noma ama-movie
• izifiso zokufudumala ngokomzimba, njengeziphuzo ezishisayo, izindawo zokugeza, noma izingubo ezithokomele nezingubo zokulala

Ukuxilongwa

Isizungu, ngisho nesizungu esingapheli, akusona isimo esithile sempilo yengqondo. Kodwa-ke, ochwepheshe baya ngokuya bebona izindlela isizungu esingathinta ngayo impilo yakho engokomzimba nengokomzwelo.

Uma ubukade uzizwa unesizungu futhi uhlangabezana nezimpawu ezingachazeki njengezimpawu ezingenhla zesizungu, ukukhuluma nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo kungasiza.

Umelaphi angakusiza ukuthi uthole noma yiziphi izimbangela zempilo yakho yengqondo zezimpawu zakho. Noma kungekho ukuxilongwa kwesizungu, ukwelashwa kungakusiza ukuthi ufinyelele ukusekelwa nezinsizakusebenza ezingaba wusizo.

Umelaphi angakufundisa namathiphu okubhekana nemiphumela yesizungu futhi akusize uhlole izindlela zokwenza ushintsho oluhle.

Izinkinga

Ochwepheshe ngokuya bephakamisa ukuthi isizungu nokuzihlukanisa kungaba nemiphumela efinyelela kude kwezempilo, noma ngabe zenzeka ngokubambisana noma ngokuzimela. Nakhu ukubuka okushiwo olunye ucwaningo lwakamuva.

Ukugula okungalapheki

Izifundo ezingama-40 zokuzihlukanisa nabantu nokuba nesizungu zithole ubufakazi bokuxhumanisa lezi zifundazwe nengozi ephezulu yokufa ngaphambi kwesikhathi, izinkinga zenhliziyo nemithambo yempilo yengqondo.

Omunye ubheke imiphumela yocwaningo lwe-2012 Swiss Health Survey, wathola ubufakazi bokuxhumanisa isizungu nengozi eyengeziwe yalokhu:

• ukugula okungalapheki
• cholesterol ephezulu
• ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo
• isifo sikashukela
• ukudana

Ikhwalithi yokulala

Imiphumela yokubheka amawele angaphezu kwama-2 000 iphakamisa ukuthi abantu abadala abancane abazizwa benesizungu bavame ukuba nekhwalithi ephansi yokulala. Ucwaningo luphinde lwathola ubufakazi obukhombisa ukuthi ukubhekana nodlame kungayandisa imizwa yokuba nesizungu.

Ukubheka abantu abadala abangama-215 kusekela ukuxhumana phakathi kwesizungu nekhwalithi yokulala engeyinhle, kuqhubeka nokuphakamisa ukuthi ikhwalithi yokulala ephansi ingadala ubunzima bokusebenza emini.

Ngokusho kwabantu abadala asebekhulile abangama-639, kokubili isizungu nokuzihlukanisa nabantu kungathinta ikhwalithi yokulala.

Ukucindezeleka

Ukubheka ukuxhumana phakathi kwesizungu nokuzihlukanisa emphakathini kumawele angama-1,116 amawele kutholakale ubufakazi obukhombisa ukuthi abantu abanesizungu bavame ukuba nokudangala.

Ngokwezifundo ezingaba ngu-88 ezibheka isizungu nokudangala, isizungu sibe nomthelela “ophawuleka ngokulingene” engcupheni yokudangala.

Ukucindezeleka

Imiphumela yokubheka abantu abadala abangama-8,382 abaneminyaka engama-65 nangaphezulu iphakamisa ukuthi isizungu nokucindezeleka kukhulisa ingozi yokwehla kwengqondo.

Ukwelashwa

Ngenkathi isizungu singesona isimo sokuxilongwa, usengathola usizo lokubhekana nemizwa yesizungu.

Ukuthola indlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nesizungu ngokuvamile kuya ngokuthi kubangelwa yini. Ngokwesibonelo:

• Ungaba nenkinga yokwazi abantu, noma ngabe bangabangani abasha noma ongaba ophathina bezothando.
• Kungenzeka ukuthi usanda kuthuthela edolobheni elisha futhi uphuthelwe izizinda zakho zakudala.
• Ungaba nobudlelwano obuningi obungajwayelekile kepha abukho obubonakala bunenjongo.
• Ungaba nemizwa yokungazithembi, ukungazethembi, noma ukukhathazeka komphakathi okuthola endleleni yokwakha ukuxhumana nabanye.

Kuzo zonke izimo, ukukhuluma nodokotela kungakusiza uthole izindlela zokwenza ushintsho. Uma ubhekene nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo noma yomzimba ekuhlukanisayo noma imizwa emibi yesizungu, ukuthola usizo ngalezi zinkinga kungasiza ngokwenza kube lula kuwe ukufinyelela kwabanye.

Uma uzizwa unesizungu ungazi ngempela ukuthi kungani, ungathola ukwelashwa kusiza ekunciphiseni izimbangela ezingaba khona. Kungaba nzima ukubhekana nemizwa yesizungu uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi kwenzekani. Uchwepheshe angakusiza ukuthi uhlole noma yiziphi izimo empilweni yakho ezingadala le mizwa.

Izeluleko zokuphila

Kungenzeka ukuthi izinguquko ezimbalwa zendlela yokuphila zingakusiza uzizwe unesizungu. Lokhu kungenzeka kungalungisi ngokuphelele noma yiziphi izimbangela zesizungu, njengezinkinga zempilo yengqondo noma ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwano, kepha kungakusiza ukuthi uqalise.

Lezi zeluleko zingakusiza uzizwe uhlanganyela kakhulu nabanye:

• Hlala uxhumene nabantu obathandayo. Uma usanda kuthutha, zama ukukhuluma nabangane nomndeni masonto onke. Izinhlelo zokusebenza ezifana ne-Skype, Snapchat, ne-Facebook Messenger zikuvumela ukuthi uthumele amavidyo kliphu noma uxhumane ngevidiyo. Kungazizwa kungafani nokuxhumana nabantu, kepha kungakusiza ukuthi ukhumbule abantu obathandayo abasekhona ngawe.
• Zivolontiye noma ubambe iqhaza emicimbini yomphakathi. Thola izindawo ezimbalwa onentshisekelo kuzo bese uzama ukuzibandakanya. Cabanga ukusiza ekuthengisweni kwezincwadi zelabhulali, ukunikela ngempelasonto ngenyanga endaweni yakho yokuhlala yezilwane, ukusiza ngokuhlanza udoti, noma ukuchitha amahora ambalwa usebenza ebhange lakho lokudla lasendaweni. Imitapo yolwazi nayo iyindawo enhle yokwazi ngemicimbi yomphakathi.
• Zama umdlalo wokuzilibazisa omusha. Uma uzizwa unesizungu kodwa unesikhathi esihle samahhala, cabanga ngezinto obukade ufuna ukuzizama. Ukudansa? Ukubaza ngokhuni? Ubuciko? Isigingci? Umtapo wakho wezincwadi, ikolishi lomphakathi wasendaweni, noma ezinye izinhlangano zomphakathi zizoba nolwazi mayelana nokuzilibazisa nemicimbi yendawo. Izinhlelo zokusebenza ezinjenge-Facebook ne-Meetup zingakusiza nokuthi uthole imicimbi emphakathini wakho futhi uhlangane nabantu abanezintshisakalo ezifanayo.
• Phuma endlini. Ubuchwepheshe bungaba nezinzuzo eziningi. Ungajabulela ukujabulela ukudla okulethwa emnyango wakho noma kuma-movie ngoxhumano lwe-Wi-Fi. Kepha ubuchwepheshe bungenza kube lula ukuphuthelwa. Zama ukuphuma kusihlwa enkundleni yakho yaseshashalazini noma uthathe uhambo oluya emakethe yomlimi wangakini ukuze uthole izithako zokudla kwakho okulandelayo. Yenza umgomo wokubingelela nokukhuluma nabantu abambalwa abasha njalo lapho uphuma, noma ngabe kulula njengokumamatheka futhi "sawubona."
• Hlakulela isilwane. Ukuba nesinye isidalwa esiphilayo ukuza ekhaya kungasiza impilo yakho ukuthi izwakale igcwele, futhi kwandise imizwa yakho yokuxhumana nomhlaba wonkana. Ucwaningo luhlala lukhombisa ukuthi izilwane ezifuywayo zingaba nezinzuzo eziningi zempilo yengqondo, kufaka phakathi ukuncipha kwesizungu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuhamba nenja (noma ikati, kwezinye izimo!) Nakho kungasiza ekwandiseni amathuba akho okuhlangana nabantu abasha.

Ukuvimbela

Izeluleko ezilandelayo zingakusiza ukuthi ungabi nesizungu kwasekuqaleni:

• Khululeka ngokuchitha isikhathi uwedwa. Lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele ube wedwa ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngokuvamile kubhekwa njengokubalulekile kubantu ukuthi okungenani babe nokuxhumana okuthile nabanye. Kepha uma usithokozela isikhathi osichitha uwedwa, maningi amathuba okuthi uzizwe unethemba ngaso, noma ngabe ukuba wedwa kungahle kungabi ukukhetha kwakho kokuqala.
• Khetha imisebenzi egculisayo nenomvuzo. Ukuphumula kusofa phambi kohlelo lwakho lwe-TV oluthandayo kungazizwa kududuza, futhi okuqukethwe okuhlekisayo ikakhulukazi, kungaba nomthelela omuhle emoyeni wakho. Kepha qiniseka ukuthi ufaka phakathi uhla lwemisebenzi empilweni yakho, kufaka phakathi izinto zobuciko noma zomzimba. Ngisho nokulalela umculo noma ukufunda incwadi kungaba nomthelela omuhle esizungu.
• Yenza isikhathi sokuzivocavoca umzimba. Ukuzivocavoca umzimba kuyaziwa ukuthi kunomthelela omuhle empilweni yengqondo. Yize ukuzivocavoca kungasinciphisi isizungu ngokwakho, kungasiza ekuthuthukiseni imizwa yakho ngokuphelele futhi kukhulise imizwa yakho yokuphila kahle, okunganikeza isivikelo esithile kumzwangedwa.
• Jabulela ngaphandle. Ukukhanya kwelanga kungasiza ukukhulisa i-serotonin emzimbeni wakho, engakusiza ukuthuthukisa imizwa yakho. Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi ukuchitha isikhathi emvelweni kungasiza ekunciphiseni imizwa yokudana, ukukhathazeka, kanye nengcindezi. Ukujoyina ukuhamba kweqembu noma umdlalo weqembu nakho kungakusiza ukuxhumana nabanye ngasikhathi sinye.

Ukubonana nodokotela nini

Uma imizwa yesizungu ihlala isikhathi eside, kungaba umqondo omuhle ukufinyelela kumhlinzeki wakho wezokunakekelwa kwempilo noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo.

Futhi cabanga ukuthola usizo uma:

• imizwa yesizungu iyithinta kabi impilo yakho yansuku zonke noma yenze kube nzima ukwenza izinto ofuna ukuzenza
• unomoya ophansi noma imizwa yokudangala
• unezimpawu zokunye ukukhathazeka ngempilo yengqondo, njengokukhathazeka noma ukudangala
• izimpawu zezempilo zomzimba azipheli ngemuva kwamasonto ambalwa, ziba zimbi kakhulu, noma zithinte impilo yakho yansuku zonke

Kungcono ukuthola usizo ngokushesha. Ungashayela inombolo yosizo ebucayi, xhumana nomuntu omthandayo, noma ushayele igumbi lakho lasendaweni eliphuthumayo. Nalu uhlu lwezinsiza zokusiza:

• I- Inqubo Kazwelonke Yokuvimbela Ukuzibulala inikeza ukusekelwa kwamahhala, okunesihawu amahora angama-24 ngosuku, izinsuku eziyi-7 ngeviki, izinsuku ezingama-365 ngonyaka. Ungabashayela ku-1-800-273-8255 noma uthintane nabo ngengxoxo eku-inthanethi.
• Uma ungathanda usizo lokuthola ukwesekwa okujwayelekile kwezempilo yengqondo, i-Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration nayo inikela ngemininingwane yamahhala ubusuku nemini futhi isize ekutholeni ukwelashwa, yize inganikeli ngezinsizakalo zokwelulekwa ngocingo.
• I-Anxiety and Depression Association of America nayo inikela ngamaqembu wokuxhaswa wamahhala online, uma ubhekene nokukhathazeka nokudangala kanye nesizungu. Thola iqembu eliseduze nawe kuwebhusayithi yabo.

Okubalulekile

Akuyona into embi ukuba wedwa, noma ukujabulela ukuba wedwa. Kodwa ukuba wedwa lapho ukhetha ukuchitha isikhathi nabanye abantu kungaholela emizweni yokuba nesizungu futhi kube neminye imiphumela kumzwelo wakho, ukulala, kanye nenhlalakahle jikelele.

Abanye abantu baba nesizungu ekuphaseni, kepha abanye abantu bangazizwa benesizungu izinyanga noma ngisho neminyaka bengathuthuki.

Isizungu akusona isimo sempilo yengqondo esinokwelashwa okucacisiwe okunconyiwe, ngakho-ke ungazibuza ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nakho. Ukunqoba isizungu kungabonakala njengenselelo yangempela, ikakhulukazi uma unamahloni, ungenisa, noma ukuthola kunzima ukuhlangana nabantu abasha. Kungathatha isikhathi esithile, kepha kungenzeka kakhulu ukwakha ubudlelwano obusha noma ukujulisa ukuxhumana okukhona empilweni yakho.

Uma ungenaso isiqiniseko sokuthi yini ongayenza ukuze uzizwe unesizungu esincane, cabanga ngokuthola usizo kumelaphi ongakusiza futhi akusekele.