I-Crazy Talk: Ngibhekana Kanjani 'Nokuhlola' kusuka Eqinisweni?

-Delile

• Sawubona Sam, bengisebenza nomelaphi omusha ukubhekana nezehlakalo ezithile ezihlukumezayo ezenzeka ngisemusha. Sikhulume kancane ngokuhlukaniswa, nokuthi ngivame kanjani "ukuhlola" ngokomzwelo lapho ngicindezelwa.
• Ngicabanga ukuthi engilwa nakho kakhulu ukuthi ngingahlala kanjani ngikhona ngedwa. Kulula kakhulu ukunqamula lapho ngingedwa nasemhlabeni wami omncane. Uhlala kanjani ukhona lapho kungekho muntu lapho ongakuhlwitha kukho?
• Ukuhlukaniswa kuchaza uhlobo lokunqanyulwa kwengqondo - ngakho-ke ubuqinisile emalini ngenkathi uyichaza ngokuthi "ukuphuma"
• Ngakho-ke siqala kanjani ukugudluka ekuzihlukaniseni futhi sisebenze ekuthuthukiseni amakhono okubhekana ngokuphumelelayo?
• 1. Funda ukuphefumula
• 2. Zama ukunyakaza okuthile
• 3. Thola izindlela eziphephile zokuhlola
• 4. Hack indlu yakho
• 5. Yakha iqembu lokusekela
• 6. Gcina iphephabhuku bese uqala ukukhomba izimbangela zakho
• 7. Thola isilwane esisekela imizwa
• Ungahle ucabange, "Kulungile, Sam, kodwa KUNGANI ubuchopho bethu bungayenza le nto yokuzihlukanisa uma ingasizi ngalutho kwasekuqaleni?"
• Zama nje ukukhumbula lokhu: Ubuchopho bakho benza konke okusemandleni ukukugcina uphephile.

Uhlala kanjani uphilile ngokwengqondo uma uwedwa futhi uzihlukanisa?

Le yiCrazy Talk: Ikholomu yezeluleko zezingxoxo ezithembekile, ezingaphendulwanga ngempilo yengqondo nommeli uSam Dylan Finch.Yize engeyena umelaphi oqinisekisiwe, unesipiliyoni sempilo yonke aphila nesifo se-obsessive-compulsive (OCD). Ufunde izinto ngendlela enzima ukuze wena (ngethemba) ungadingi.

Unombuzo uSam okufanele awuphendule? Finyelela futhi ungahle ufakwe kukholamu elandelayo yeCrazy Talk: [email protected]

Sawubona Sam, bengisebenza nomelaphi omusha ukubhekana nezehlakalo ezithile ezihlukumezayo ezenzeka ngisemusha. Sikhulume kancane ngokuhlukaniswa, nokuthi ngivame kanjani "ukuhlola" ngokomzwelo lapho ngicindezelwa.

Ngicabanga ukuthi engilwa nakho kakhulu ukuthi ngingahlala kanjani ngikhona ngedwa. Kulula kakhulu ukunqamula lapho ngingedwa nasemhlabeni wami omncane. Uhlala kanjani ukhona lapho kungekho muntu lapho ongakuhlwitha kukho?

Linda umzuzu nje!

Uthe akekho umuntu ozokusiza ukuthi "uphume" ekuzihlukaniseni, kodwa ngifuna ukukukhumbuza (ngobumnene!) Ukuthi lokho akulona iqiniso. Nawe ngokwakho! Futhi ngiyazi ukuthi lokho akubonakali kwanele ngaso sonke isikhathi, kepha ngokuzijwayeza, ungathola ukuthi unamathuluzi amaningi wokubhekana nawo ongawaqaphela.

Ngaphambi kokuthi singene kulokho okubukeka kunje, noma kunjalo, ngifuna ukusungula ukuthi kusho ukuthini “ukwahlukaniswa” ukuze sibe ekhasini elilodwa. Angiqiniseki ukuthi umelaphi wakho ukugcwalise kangakanani, kepha njengoba kuwumqondo okhohlisayo, ake sihlukanise ngamagama alula.

Ukuhlukaniswa kuchaza uhlobo lokunqanyulwa kwengqondo - ngakho-ke ubuqinisile emalini ngenkathi uyichaza ngokuthi "ukuphuma"

Kodwa kungaphezu kokuphupha nje! Ukuzihlukanisa kungathinta ulwazi lwakho lobunikazi, inkumbulo, nokwazi, futhi kuthinte nokuzazi kwakho nendawo okuyo.

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi ivela ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene kubantu abahlukile. Ngingazi ngezimpawu zakho ezithile, ngizoklelisa "ukunambitheka" okuhlukile kokuzihlukanisa.

Mhlawumbe uzozibona kokunye kokulandelayo:

• ukubuyela emuva (ukuphinda ubhekane nesikhathi esedlule, ikakhulukazi esibuhlungu)
• ukulahlekelwa ukuxhumana ngokwenzekayo eduze kwakho (njengokuhlukanisa isikhala)
• ukungakwazi ukukhumbula izinto (noma ingqondo yakho "ingabi nalutho")
• ukuzenza umuntu (isipiliyoni esingaphandle komzimba, sengathi uzibuka ukude)
• derealization (lapho izinto zizwakala zingelona iqiniso, sengathi usephusheni noma ku-movie)

Lokhu kwehlukile kwi-dissociative identity disorder (DID), echaza isethi yezimpawu ezithile ezibandakanya ukuhlukaniswa kodwa futhi okuholela ekuqhekekeni kobunikazi bakho (beka enye indlela, ubunikazi bakho "buhlukana" nalokho abantu abaningi abakubiza ngokuthi "ubuntu obuningi ”).

Iningi labantu licabanga ukuthi ukuzihlukanisa kuqondiswe kubantu abane-DID, kepha akunjalo! Njengophawu, ingabonakala ezimeni eziningi zezempilo yengqondo, kufaka phakathi ukucindezeleka kanye ne-PTSD eyinkimbinkimbi.

Vele, uzofuna ukukhuluma nomhlinzeki wezokunakekelwa kwempilo ukukhomba ukuthi kungani uhlangabezana nalokhu (kepha kuzwakala sengathi umelaphi wakho usesimweni, kuhle kuwe!).

Ngakho-ke siqala kanjani ukugudluka ekuzihlukaniseni futhi sisebenze ekuthuthukiseni amakhono okubhekana ngokuphumelelayo?

Ngiyajabula ukuthi ubuzile - nazi ezinye izincomo zami ezivivinyiwe futhi eziyiqiniso

1. Funda ukuphefumula

Ukuzihlukanisa kaningi kubangelwa yimpi yokulwa noma yendiza. Ukuze umelane nalokho, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ungazithambisa kanjani ngokuphefumula.

Ngincoma ukuthi ngifunde inqubo yokuphefumula ebhokisini, ekhonjiswe ukuthi ilawula futhi yehlise uhlelo lwakho lwezinzwa oluzimele (ANS). Le yindlela yokukhomba emzimbeni nasengqondweni yakho ukuthi uphephile!

2. Zama ukunyakaza okuthile

Ngiyakuzonda ukuncoma i-yoga kubantu ngoba ingaqhamuka njengokunciphisa.

Kepha kulesi sibonelo esithile, ukusebenza komzimba kubaluleke kakhulu lapho sikhuluma ngokuzihlukanisa! Ukuze sihlale sigxilile sidinga ukuba khona emizimbeni yethu.

I-yoga yokubuyisela esimweni yindlela engiyithandayo yokubuyela emzimbeni wami. Luhlobo lwe-yoga emnene, ehamba kancane engivumela ukuthi ngilule, ngigxile ekuphefumuleni kwami, futhi ngikhulule imisipha yami.

Uhlelo lokusebenza i-Down Dog luhle uma ufuna ukulizama. Ngifunda amakilasi ku-Yin Yoga futhi basizile kakhulu, futhi.

Uma ufuna ezinye izindlela ezilula ze-yoga ukuze uzithobe, lo mbhalo udiliza ukubukeka okuhlukile futhi ukukhombisa ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani!

3. Thola izindlela eziphephile zokuhlola

Kwesinye isikhathi udinga ukucisha ubuchopho bakho isikhashana. Ingabe ikhona indlela ephephile yokwenza kanjalo, noma kunjalo? Ingabe kukhona umdlalo wethelevishini ongawubuka, isibonelo? Ngithanda ukwenza inkomishi yetiye noma ukhokho oshisayo bese ngibuka uBob Ross ependa "izihlahla zakhe ezijabulisayo" kuNetflix.

Ziphathe njengoba ubungathanda umngane okhululeke kakhulu. Ngihlala ngibatshela abantu ukuthi baphathe iziqephu ze-dissociative sengathi nizohlaselwa ukwethuka, ngoba zivela ezinqubeni eziningi ezifanayo "zokulwa noma indiza".

Into exakayo ngokuzihlukanisa ukuthi ungahle ungazizwa nganoma yini nhlobo - kepha lokho ubuchopho bakho benza konke okusemandleni ukukuvikela.

Uma kusiza ukucabanga ngakho ngale ndlela, zenze sengathi ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka (ngaphandle kokuthi othile uthathe irimothi wacindezela u- "mute"), bese wenza indawo ephephile ngokufanele.

4. Hack indlu yakho

Ngine-PTSD eyinkimbinkimbi futhi ukuba nezinto zemizwa ezungeze indlu yami kube ngumsindisi.

Isibonelo, nge-nightstand yami, ngigcina amafutha abalulekile e-lavender engizowafafaza kuwo umcamelo wami lapho ngilala phansi ukuze ngiphefumule kakhulu.

Ngigcina izingubo zokulala ezithambile kusofa ngamunye, ithreyi leqhwa efrijini (ukucindezela ama-ice cubes kusiza ukungikhipha eziqephu zami), amalollipops ukugxila ekunambeni okuthile, ukuwashwa komzimba we-citrus ukungivusa kancane eshaweni, nokuningi.

Ungazigcina zonke lezi zinto “ebhokisini lokutakula” ukuze zigcinwe ngokuphepha, noma uzigcine zitholakala ezindaweni ezehlukene zekhaya lakho. Okusemqoka ukuqinisekisa ukuthi bazibandakanya izinzwa!

5. Yakha iqembu lokusekela

Lokhu kufaka odokotela (njengodokotela wezokwelapha nodokotela wezifo zengqondo), kodwa futhi nabathandekayo ongabashayela uma udinga umuntu ongakhuluma naye. Ngithanda ukugcina uhlu lwabantu abathathu kuya kwabahlanu engingabashayela ekhadini lenkomba futhi “ngiyabathanda” koxhumana nabo befoni ukuze ngifinyelele kalula.

Uma ungenabo abantu abaseduze kwakho "abakutholayo," ngixhumane nabantu abaningi abathandekayo nabasekelayo emaqenjini okusekela i-PTSD. Ingabe zikhona izinsiza emphakathini wakho ezingakusiza wakhe leyo netha yokuphepha?

6. Gcina iphephabhuku bese uqala ukukhomba izimbangela zakho

Ukuzihlukanisa kwenzeka ngesizathu. Ungahle ungazi ukuthi siyini leso sizathu njengamanje, futhi lokho kulungile! Kepha uma kunomthelela empilweni yakho, kubalulekile ukuthi uqiniseke ukuthi usebenza nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ukuze ufunde amathuluzi angcono okubhekana nezinkinga zakho futhi ubone izinkomba zakho.

Ukugcina incwadi kungasiza ekukhanyiseni ukuthi ezinye zezimbangela zakho zingaba yini.

Uma unesiqephu esizihlukanisayo, zinike isikhathi sokubuyisa izinyathelo zakho bese ubheka izikhathi eziholela kuso. Lokhu kungabaluleka ekuqondeni kangcono ukuthi ungakuphatha kanjani ukwahlukana.

Ngoba ukwahlukaniswa kungathinta inkumbulo yakho, ukuyibhala phansi kuqinisekisa nokuthi uma uhlangana nomelaphi wakho uzoba nezindawo zokubhekisela ongabuyela kuzo, ukwakha isithombe esicacile salokhu obekwenzeka kuwe.

Uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi ungaqala kuphi, lo mhlahlandlela we-No BS ekuhleleni imizwa yakho ungakunika ithempulethi ongasebenza nayo!

7. Thola isilwane esisekela imizwa

Angisho ukuthi gijimela endaweni yokukhosela yezilwane esiseduze futhi ulethe ekhaya injana - ngoba ukuletha umngane onoboya ekhaya kungaba yisiqalo kukodwa (ukuqeqeshwa ngamazinyane umdlwane kuyiphupho elibi okungenzeka libe nomthelela ophambene nempilo yakho yengqondo).

Ngiyakutshela ngokuhlangenwe nakho, noma kunjalo, ukuthi ikati lami iPancake liyishintshe ngokuphelele impilo yami. Uyikati elidala elinobuqili obumangalisayo, enembile, futhi elithandayo ukugonwa - futhi uyi-ESA yami ebhalisiwe ngesizathu.

Noma nini lapho ngiba nenkinga yempilo yengqondo, uzomthola ehleli esifubeni sami, ehlanza kuze kube yilapho ukuphefumula kwami ​​kwehla.

Ngakho-ke lapho ngithi kuwe thola isilwane sokusekelwa, kufanele kube yinto obeka kakhulu kuyo. Cabanga ukuthi ungathatha umthwalo ongakanani, ubuntu bomsoli, isikhala onaso, bese uthinta indawo yokukhosela ukubona ukuthi ungaluthola yini usizo lokuthola umdlalo wakho ophelele.

Ungahle ucabange, "Kulungile, Sam, kodwa KUNGANI ubuchopho bethu bungayenza le nto yokuzihlukanisa uma ingasizi ngalutho kwasekuqaleni?"

Lowo ngumbuzo ovumelekile. Impendulo? Kungenzeka kwaba iwusizo ngasikhathi sinye. Akusekho nje.

Lokho kungenxa yokuthi ukuhlukaniswa, emgodleni wayo, kuyimpendulo evikelayo ekuhlukumezeni.

Ivumela izingqondo zethu ukuthatha ikhefu entweni eliyibona isongela. Cishe ukubheja okuphephile ukuthi, kwesinye isikhathi noma okunye, ukuhlukaniswa kukusize ukubhekana nezinto ezinzima kakhulu empilweni.

Kepha akusizi manje, yingakho ubhekene nenkinga. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi akuyona indlela yokubhekana nosizo lonke esikhathini esizayo.

Ngenkathi ingakwazi (futhi ivame ukusikhonza) uma sisengozini esheshayo, ingaqala ukuphazamisa izimpilo zethu lapho singasekho esimweni esisongelayo.

Uma kuwusizo, mane ucabange ubuchopho bakho njengomlondolozi oqaphile oshaya ikhwela lakhe noma kunini lapho useduze khona namanzi - noma ngabe ichibi alinalutho, noma liyichibi lezingane elingemuva kothile ... noma yisinki lakho lasekhishini.

Lezo zehlakalo ezihlukumezayo (ngethemba) zidlulile, kepha umzimba wakho usaphendula sengathi awukenzanga! Ukwehlukaniswa, ngaleyo ndlela, kukweqe ukwamukelwa ngokweqile.

Ngakho-ke inhloso yethu lapha ukuthola lowo mlondolozi we-neurotic ukuze ahlanze i-eff, futhi siphinde sibafundise ukuthi babone ukuthi yiziphi izimo futhi ezingaphephile.

Zama nje ukukhumbula lokhu: Ubuchopho bakho benza konke okusemandleni ukukugcina uphephile.

Ukuzihlukanisa akuyona into onamahloni ngayo, futhi akusho ukuthi "uphukile." Eqinisweni, kukhombisa ukuthi ubuchopho bakho busebenza ngempela, kunzima kakhulu ukukunakekela!

Manje usunethuba lokufunda izindlela ezintsha zokubhekana, futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ubuchopho bakho ngeke budinge ukuthembela kuzindlela ezindala ezingakusizi manje.

Ngiyazi ukuthi kungasabisa ukuzwa ukuhlukaniswa. Kepha izindaba ezinhle ukuthi, awunamandla. Ubuchopho buyisitho esivumelanisa nezimo ngokumangalisayo - futhi isikhathi ngasinye lapho uthola indlela entsha yokuzakhela umuzwa wokuphepha, ubuchopho bakho buthatha amanothi.

Dlulisa ukubonga kwami ​​kulobo buchopho bakho obumangalisayo, by the way! Ngijabule ngempela ukuthi usekhona.

Sam

USam Dylan Finch ungummeli ohamba phambili kwezempilo yengqondo ye-LGBTQ, njengoba esethole ukuqashelwa emhlabeni jikelele ngebhulogi yakhe, i-Let Queer Things Up!, Eyaqala ukusabalala ngo-2014. ubunikazi be-transgender, ukukhubazeka, ezombusazwe kanye nomthetho, nokunye okuningi. Ukuletha ubuchwepheshe bakhe obuhlangene kwezempilo yomphakathi nakwimidiya yedijithali, uSam njengamanje usebenza njengomhleli wezenhlalo eHealthline.