Ungayibona Kanjani futhi Uyithole Izinkinga Zokuzibophezela

-Delile

• Okokuqala, izinto ezimbalwa okufanele uzikhumbule
• Izimpawu kuwe
• Awufuni ukuphola ngokungathi sína
• Awucabangi ngekusasa lobudlelwano
• Uchitha isikhathi esiningi ubuza ngobudlelwano
• Awufuni ukwenza izinhlelo
• Awuzizwa unamathele ngokomzwelo
• Uzizwa ungakhululekile noma ubhajwe lapho umlingani wakho ekhombisa izimpawu zokutshala imali
• Izimpawu kumlingani wakho
• Kubonakala sengathi abatshalwanga ebudlelwaneni noma kuwe
• Abafuni ukukhuluma ngekusasa lobudlelwano
• Banobunzima bokuvula noma ukwabelana ngemicabango ejulile
• Bakhuluma ngekusasa, kepha izinhlelo zabo azikubandakanyi
• Abaphenduli kumilayezo yakho, izingcingo, noma imibhalo yezinsuku
• Ukunqoba ukwesaba ukuzibophezela
• Ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye
• Ukwelashwa kwezithandani
• Khuluma ngakho
• Prakthiza ukuzibophezela
• Kwenze umkhuba
• Funa umlingani ozihloniphayo izidingo zakho
• Okubalulekile

Akuvamile ukuthi abantu abagwema ubudlelwano besikhathi eside bezwe ukuthi banezinkinga zokuzinikela noma ukwesaba ukuzibophezela. Abantu abaningi basebenzisa le misho ngokunganaki, kepha empeleni, ukuzibophezela (nokwesaba lokho) kuvame ukuba yinkimbinkimbi.

Ukuzibophezela kuyigama elibanzi, kepha ngokuvamile kwehla ekuzinikeleni kwakho entweni ethile isikhathi eside, noma ngabe lowo ngumsebenzi, inhloso, idolobha, noma ubudlelwano.

Umqondo wezinkinga zokuzibophezela, noma kunjalo, uvame ukuvela kakhulu kumongo wobudlelwano bezothando.

Ucabanga ukuthi wena noma umlingani wakho ninokwesaba ukuzibophezela? Nazi ezinye izinto okufanele uzibuke:

Okokuqala, izinto ezimbalwa okufanele uzikhumbule

I-intanethi igcwele imibuzo yokuhambisana, uhlu lwamafulegi abomvu obudlelwano, njalonjalo. Lokhu kungaba mnandi - futhi kungakusiza nokuthi uqaphele izinto ezithile ngawe noma ngobudlelwano bakho.

Kepha khumbula ukuthi isimo sakho esiyingqayizivele sinjalo nje: ihlukile.

Uhlu alukwazi ukukhomba noma ukucabangela konke okwenzekayo ebudlelwaneni bakho, ngakho-ke kubathathe (kufaka nalesi) ngohlamvu lukasawoti.

Uma u yenza bona okunye kokulandelayo kuwe noma kumlingani wakho, akusho ukuthi ubudlelwane bakho buzophela.

Futhi, izindaba zokuzibophezela azihlali zivela ngokwesaba.

Ukukhuliswa kothile, umlando womndeni, noma ezinye izinto kungathonya indlela umuntu aziphatha ngayo ebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele. Lokhu kungenza kube nzima ukutshela umehluko phakathi komuntu ongafuni ngempela ukuzibophezela nomuntu obhekene nezinye izindaba.

Okokugcina, khumbula ukuthi ukuzibophezela akufani nothando. Kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukuthanda umlingani wakho wezothando futhi ube nenkinga ngokuzibophezela.

Izimpawu kuwe

Akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukubona lapho iphethini yobudlelwano besikhashana imelela inhlanhla embi yokuphola noma lapho ikhombisa okuthile okubaluleke kakhulu.

Nazi ezinye izimpawu ezinganikeza ukucaciseleka okuthile:

Awufuni ukuphola ngokungathi sína

Ukufuna ukuphola ngokunganaki nokugwema ubudlelwane obunzima akusho ukuthi wesaba ukuzibophezela. Ungahle ube nesizathu esisodwa salokhu, noma ungaba neziningana.

Kepha uma uhlala uzwa isidingo sokuqeda izinto lapho ubudlelwano buqala ukudlula esigabeni esingajwayelekile, noma ngabe uyamthanda umuntu ombonayo, ungahle ube nokwesaba kokuzinikela okungasonjululwanga.

Awucabangi ngekusasa lobudlelwano

Esikhathini esithile ebudlelwaneni, abantu abaningi bachitha okungenani isikhathi esincane becabanga ukuthi ngabe umuntu abathandana naye uzomenza yini umdlalo omuhle wesikhathi eside.

Uma bengaboni ikusasa, bangaqeda ubudlelwano bese beqhubeka. Kepha abanye abantu abaliniki ikusasa noma imuphi umqondo - futhi abafuni.

Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokufuna ukujabulela lokho onakho manje nomlingani wakho. Kepha ukwehluleka kwangempela noma ukungafuni ukucabanga ngesigaba esilandelayo sobudlelwano kungakhombisa ukwesaba ukuzibophezela, ikakhulukazi uma lokhu kuyiphethini ebudlelwaneni bakho.

Uchitha isikhathi esiningi ubuza ngobudlelwano

Mhlawumbe wena yenza cabanga ngekusasa lobudlelwano bakho. Unemizwa enamandla ngomlingani wakho, uzizwe uxhumekile futhi unamathiselwe, futhi ujabulele ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye. Noma kunjalo, awukwazi ukuyeka ukuzibuza izinto ezifana nalezi:

• “Ingabe bayangithanda ngempela?”
• “Kwenzekani ngokulandelayo?”
• “Ngikulungele lokhu?”
• "Ngifuna lokhu kusebenze?"

Kuhle impela ukuzibuza imibuzo efana nalezi ngezikhathi ezithile, ikakhulukazi uma umkhathalela ngempela umuntu futhi ungafuni ukulahlekelwa nguye.

Ukubuza ubudlelwano njalo, kepha, kuze kufike lapho buphazamisa khona ubudlelwane noma kukucindezele ngokomzwelo, kungaphakamisa ukwesaba ukuzibophezela.

Awufuni ukwenza izinhlelo

Ingabe uyakugwema ukwenza izinhlelo zosuku lwangoLwesihlanu ebusuku kuze kube uLwesihlanu ekuseni?

Ngabe unikeza izimpendulo ezingacacanga ezinjengokuthi, “Mhlawumbe! Ngizokwazisa ”noma“ Ake ngibone ukuthi isonto lihamba kanjani ”lapho umuntu othandana naye ezama ukuhlela?

Ngabe ukucabanga ngezinhlelo osuvele uzenzele ingcindezi kugcina sekufuna ukuzikhansela?

Ukungafuni ukwenza izinhlelo kwesinye isikhathi kuphakamisa ukuthi awunantshisekelo ngempela kumuntu othandana naye, ikakhulukazi uma ubambelela ekutheni kungenzeka kube nezinhlelo ezingcono.

Kepha uma wena yenza njengalowo muntu futhi ujabulele ukuba nabo, kepha usazizwa ukhathazekile, inkinga kungaba ukuzibophezela.

Awuzizwa unamathele ngokomzwelo

ukubuka ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni bezothando kusikisela ukuthi imizwa yokuzibophezela ingakhula njengempendulo yemizwa yokukhathazeka noma yokwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumlingani.

Uma uzizwa unamathele ngokuphephile futhi ufuna ukuthi ubudlelwano buqhubeke, maningi amathuba okuthi wenze umsebenzi odingekayo ukuze ubugcine buhlala njalo.

Lo mzamo ukhombisa ukuzibophezela kwakho futhi ungasiza ekunciphiseni imizwa yokukhathazeka ngekusasa lobudlelwano, ikakhulukazi uma umlingani wakho ekhombisa intshisekelo efanayo ekubandakanyeni kwesikhathi eside.

Kepha uma ungazizwa unamathele ngokomzwelo kumlingani wakho, ungahle ungakhathali noma ucabange kakhulu ngokulahlekelwa yibo. Impela, ninesikhathi esimnandi ndawonye, ​​kepha niyekisa umqondo wokungaphinde ngibabone. Waneliseke ngokuphelele ngokuqhubeka nokwenza izinto zakho.

Kwesinye isikhathi, ukungaxhumi ngokomzwelo kumane kusho ukuthi umuntu othandana naye akuyona umdlalo omuhle kakhulu kuwe. Kodwa-ke, uma wazi ukuthi ufuna ubudlelwano futhi ungazizwa utshalekile ngokomzwelo kozakwenu, cabanga ukuthi ukwesaba ukuzibophezela kungakubambezela yini.

Uzizwa ungakhululekile noma ubhajwe lapho umlingani wakho ekhombisa izimpawu zokutshala imali

Le mizwa ingavela ngaphandle kokuthi uyiqonde ngokugcwele.

Isibonelo, uma umlingani wakho ethi "ngiyakuthanda" okokuqala, ungazizwa ujabulile. Kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lapho ucabanga ngakho, uqala ukukhathazeka futhi uzibuze ukuthi kusho ukuthini lokho noma ukuthi yini elandelayo elandelayo.

Ungase futhi ube nesifiso sokubaleka, noma ngabe ufuna ngempela ukuqeda ubuhlobo noma cha.

Izimpawu kumlingani wakho

Lapho ulungele ubudlelwano obubucayi kepha umlingani wakho ebonakala enelisekile ngezinto ezihlala zifana, ungaqala ukuzibuza ukuthi ngabe bafuna izinto ezifanayo ozenzayo.

Lezi zimpawu ezilandelayo zingahle ziphakamise ukuthi uthandana nomuntu onokwesaba okuthile kokuzibophezela. Kepha kunzima ukwazi ukuthi ngabe lezi ziyizimpawu zezinkinga zokuzibophezela ngaphandle kokuthi ukhulume nabo ngezizathu zokuziphatha kwabo.

Uma ukhathazekile ngokuzibophezela komlingani wakho, ingxoxo evulekile nethembekile iyisinyathelo sokuqala esihle.

Okwamanje, nazi ezinye zezimpawu zokwesaba ukuzibophezela kozakwethu:

Kubonakala sengathi abatshalwanga ebudlelwaneni noma kuwe

Lokhu kungabonakala ngezindlela eziningi. Bangase babazi bonke abangane bakho kepha bangalokothi bakwethulele komunye wabo. Mhlawumbe bakhuluma izindaba ezinhle kepha babonakala bengenasifiso sokukhuluma ngemizwa yabo noma ngempilo yansuku zonke (noma eyakho).

Ungase futhi uqaphele ukungabi nentshisekelo ekwenzeni noma yiziphi izinhlelo ezingekho esikhathini esizayo esiseduze.

Lokhu kungabi nentshisekelo akubonakali ngaso sonke isikhathi. Isibonelo, bangazwakala benomdlandla uma uphakamisa uhambo noma iholide kepha ube nezaba noma uhlele ukungqubuzana lapho uzama ukunciphisa usuku oluthile.

Kungenzeka umlingani wakho afune ukuchitha leso sikhathi nawe. Bangase nje balwe nokuzibophezela okuhilelekile.

Abafuni ukukhuluma ngekusasa lobudlelwano

Uma ngabe ubona umuntu omthandayo izinyanga ezimbalwa, ungaqala ukucabanga ngamathuba obudlelwano obukhulayo. Ngemuva kwakho konke, niyahambisana, nijabulela ubudlelwano bomunye nomunye - ngakho kungani ningaqomani ngokujulile?

Uzakwethu onesibindi sokuzibophezela angaba nesikhathi esinzima nale ngxoxo. Bangashintsha isihloko noma banikeze izimpendulo ezingacacile lapho ubuza ukuthi bazizwa kanjani.

Bangasho into efana nokuthi, "Ake sijabule ngaphandle kokuzama ukuchaza izinto." Bangase babambe ongezansi bathi abafuni ukuzibophezela.

Uma ufuna ukuzibophezela, lezi zimpendulo zivame ukukhombisa ukuthi umuntu ombonayo kungenzeka angakwazi ukunikela okufunayo nokudingayo.

Banobunzima bokuvula noma ukwabelana ngemicabango ejulile

Ukuba sengozini ngokomzwelo kuvame ukusiza abantu basondele.

Ebudlelwaneni obuqinile, abalingani ngokuvamile bafunda ngomunye nomunye ngamanani alinganayo njengoba isikhathi sihamba.Ungahle ukhulume ngokudlula kwakho, okuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana, izinhloso zekusasa, ifilosofi yempilo, nemizwa, kufaka phakathi imizwa komunye nomunye noma imizwa kwabanye abantu noma ezimeni.

Umuntu onobunzima bokuzibophezela angahle angavuleki kalula, noma sekudlule izinyanga. Izingxoxo zakho zingahlala zikhululekile futhi zilula, zingalokothi zisondelane noma zithinte imizwa ejulile noma okuhlangenwe nakho.

Ubunzima bokuba sengozini kungasho ukuthi umlingani wakho udinga nje isikhathi. Kepha kungahlobana nokwesaba ukuzibophezela.

Bakhuluma ngekusasa, kepha izinhlelo zabo azikubandakanyi

Abanye abantu abagwema ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni bezothando banzima ukwenza izibopho kwezinye izindawo zokuphila. Bangase bangawuthandi umqondo wokuzizwa ubhajwe noma uboshelwe kunoma ikusasa noma umphumela owodwa. Kodwa lokhu akuhlali kunjalo.

Kulula ukuzwela uma umuntu othandana naye ekhuluma ngekusasa elibonakala lingakufaki, ikakhulukazi uma izinto zibonakala ziba zimbi ngokwengeziwe ngombono wakho.

Mhlawumbe bayaqhubeka nokuhlelela bona noma abangane babo uhambo nokuvakasha ngaphandle kokukumema. Noma mhlawumbe bakhuluma ngokujabula futhi ngokuningiliziwe mayelana nefulethi lesitudiyo sephupho abakwazi ukulinda ukubeka idiphozi kuyo.

Kungenzeka ukuthi abafuni nje ukucabanga ukuthi uzoqhubeka nokuthandana. Mhlawumbe nje abanikanga ubudlelwano besikhathi eside becabanga kakhulu.

Kepha lezi zimpawu zingakhombisa nokuthi lo mlingani akakulungele ukuzibophezela.

Abaphenduli kumilayezo yakho, izingcingo, noma imibhalo yezinsuku

Uma uthandane nothile isikhashana, ungaqala ukubona iphethini ezimpendulweni zabo. Bangase bathule ngemuva kuka-8 ebusuku. lapho uqaqa ngaphambi kokulala noma ungakuphenduli nakancane ngesikhathi sokusebenza kwabo.

Ngokuvamile, kunengqondo impela ukulindela ozakwethu ukuthi aphendule kungakapheli usuku isikhathi esiningi, ngaphandle kokuthi wazi ukuthi ngeke batholakale ngasizathu simbe.

Uma ungazitholi izimpendulo ngokungaguquki, ikakhulukazi uma uzama ukwenza amapulani, noma uthola izimpendulo ezihhafu ezingawuphenduli ngokugcwele umbuzo wakho, ungahle uthande ukukuveza lokhu mathupha.

Kungenzeka umlingani wakho akayithandi imiyalezo. Kepha lokhu futhi kungakhombisa ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo.

Akunandaba ukuthi siyini isizathu, bangahle bangakwazi ukuzibophezela kokunye okwengeziwe.

Ukunqoba ukwesaba ukuzibophezela

Izinkinga ngokuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni azihlali ziyinkinga.

Ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, bokuba nomfazi oyedwa abuhambisani nawo wonke umuntu. Baningi abantu abaphila izimpilo zabo, bajabule ukuhlala bengashadile noma bathandane nabalingani abahlukile, ngaphandle kokushada noma ukuhlala phansi.

Abanye abantu bakulungele ngokuphelele ukuzibophezela ekubandakanyeni isikhathi eside, hhayi ngomuntu oyedwa kuphela.

Noma kunjalo, uma ufuna ukujulisa ukuzibophezela kwakho noma uzizwe sengathi kunento yokwesaba ekubambezelayo, cabanga ngalezi zindlela:

Ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye

Ukwelashwa kuyindawo enhle yokuqala ukuhlola izizathu ezikhona zokuthi kungani ukuzibophezela kungaba yinkinga kuwe.

Lezi zizathu zingasekelwa ebudlelwaneni obudlule, okuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana, noma isitayela sakho sokunamathiselwa komuntu siqu.

Kungasiza ukukhuluma nodokotela uma kukhona kulezi zibonakaliso ezingenhla ezizwakala kuwe. Bangakusiza ukubhekana nokwesaba ukuzibophezela ngendlela enozwela, engenacala.

Uma ukwesaba kwakho ukuzibophezela kubangela ukukhathazeka noma okunye ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, ukwelashwa kungasiza lapho, futhi.

Umelaphi futhi anganikeza ukwesekwa ekwelashweni komuntu ngamunye uma indlela yokuziphatha komlingani wakho kuthinta impilo yakho engokomzwelo, kodwa ukwelashwa kwezithandani kungaba enye indawo yokusebenza kulokhu.

Ukwelashwa kwezithandani

Uma umthanda ngempela umlingani wakho futhi ufuna ukwenza ubudlelwano busebenze, kepha kukhona okukubambezelayo futhi okukuvimbela ekuthatheni izinyathelo zokuzibophezela, ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana kungasiza.

Ukusondelana nokuzibophezela akufani, kepha kuvame ukuhlobana. Abantu abanenkinga ngomunye nabo bangaba nesikhathi esinzima nomunye.

Umelaphi wezithandani ezinamakhono angakusiza wena nozakwenu ukuthi nizulazule kulezi zinselelo futhi niqale ukusebenza ngazo ukuthuthukisa ukubambisana okuqinile.

Ukwelashwa kwezithandani kusebenza kahle lapho wena nomlingani wakho nabelana ngezinhloso ezifanayo zobudlelwano. Kepha noma ngabe omunye wenu efuna okunye, noma omunye wenu noma nobabili aninasiqiniseko sokuthi yini eniyifunayo, ukwelashwa kwabashadikazi kungakusiza nawe ukuhlole lokhu.

Khuluma ngakho

Kwesinye isikhathi, ukubeka nje igama ukwesaba kwakho kungakusiza uzizwe ungcono ngakho. Uma umkhathalela umlingani wakho kodwa wazi ukuthi unezinkinga ngokuzibophezela, zama ukukhuluma nabo.

Bazise ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngabo nobudlelwano bese uzama ukubatshela ngqo ukuthi yini oyesabayo, uma kungenzeka.

Ungase usho okuthile okufana nokuthi, “Ngahlukana kabi eminyakeni embalwa edlule, futhi kwangithatha isikhathi eside ukuba ngilulame. Ngiyesaba ukudlula kulokho futhi. Ngiyakukhathalela, futhi ngiyathanda ukuthi lokhu kuyaphi, kodwa ngidinga isikhathi esithe xaxa ukujwayela umqondo wokuba sebudlelwaneni. ”

Prakthiza ukuzibophezela

Uma wena nomlingani wakho nobabili nifuna ukuthi ubudlelwano benu buphumelele kepha oyedwa noma nobabili ninokwesaba ukuzibophezela, kungasiza ekuthuthukiseni imikhuba ebophezelekile ndawonye.

Kwenze umkhuba

Zama lezi zinyathelo zezingane ekuzibophezeleni:

• Chitha ubusuku ndawonye.
• Chitha impelasonto ndawonye ngamamayela ambalwa ngaphandle kwedolobha.
• Bamba izandla esidlangalaleni noma eduze kwabantu obaziyo.
• Khuluma ngezinto eningathanda ukuzenza ndawonye ngenkathi ehlukile futhi nibone ukuthi lokho kuzwakala kanjani. Isibonelo, mhlawumbe nobabili nifuna ukucabanga ngokwenza ezinye izinhlelo zokukhempa ehlobo elizayo.
• Yenzani izinhlelo ndawonye isonto, amaviki ama-2, bese kuba yinyanga ngaphambi kwalokho. Inselele ngokwakho ukugcina lezo zinhlelo.
• Bheka amafulethi noma izindlu ndawonye, ​​uma kulapho ubuhlobo bakho buqonde khona. Lokhu kungaba lula njengokuhambahamba endaweni oyithandayo bese ucabanga ukuthi kungaba njani ukwaba leso sikhala nomlingani wakho.

Uma kuvela imizwa yokwesaba noma yokukhathazeka njengoba wenza lokhu, khuluma ngayo nomlingani wakho.

Funa umlingani ozihloniphayo izidingo zakho

Uma wazi ukuthi udinga isikhathi sokuzizwa uvikelekile ebudlelwaneni, kungasiza ukuthandana nomuntu ongadingi ukuchitha njalo kusihlwa mahhala ndawonye futhi ongeke akucindezele ukuthi uzibophezele zisuka.

Lokhu kungancika kulokho okudingayo ngqo kuzakwethu, kunjalo. Kepha umuntu ohola indlela yokuphila ematasa angahle alingane uma wazi ukuthi udinga isikhala esiningi nesikhathi sedwa.

Uma ungakujabuleli ukuthintwa njalo, umlingani onikwe izandla angalungela kangcono kunomuntu odinga uthando olukhulu lomzimba.

Okubalulekile

Ukwesaba ukuzibophezela yisihloko esikhohlisayo. Izici ezahlukahlukene zingaba nomthelela kukho, futhi lezo zinto zingahluka kuye ngomuntu nomuntu.

Ngenkathi izingqinamba zokuzibophezela zingenza ukuphola kube nzima kakhulu, azenzi ukusondelana, ubudlelwane besikhathi eside bube nzima. Izinto zingahle zithathe umsebenzi owengeziwe nokuxhumana okuthembekile.

UCrystal Raypole wake wasebenza njengombhali nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Imikhakha yakhe enentshisekelo ifaka izilimi nezincwadi zase-Asia, ukuhunyushwa kwesiJapane, ukupheka, isayensi yemvelo, ukuzethemba ngocansi, nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukhethekile, uzibophezele ekusizeni ukunciphisa ukucwaswa okuzungeze izingqinamba zezempilo yengqondo.