Indlela Yokunonga Impilo Yakho Yocansi

-Delile

• Uma uzokholelwa umyeni wakho noma lowo osebenza naye oxoxayo, udinga ukuthuthukisa impilo yakho yocansi.
• Q. Ngibe neminyaka engu-11 ngishadile futhi ngijabule futhi nginezingane ezintathu, kodwa ezinyangeni eziyisithupha ezedlule angizange ngibe nesithakazelo ocansini. Ingabe kukhona okungalungile ngami?
• Q. Isoka lami lihlale lifuna ukukwenza ekuseni, kodwa mina ngikhetha ebusuku. Singayenza kanjani impilo yethu yocansi ivumelane?
• U. Ucansi lubuhlungu, ngakho-ke ngiyeke kakhulu ukuba nalo. Kwenzakalani? Kungani ngihlushwa ucansi olubuhlungu kangaka?
• Q. Angikaze ngiye ocansini selokhu kwahlukana ubudlelwano ngonyaka odlule, futhi angisakukhumbuli. Ingabe ukushayela kwami ​​​​kuhambe kahle?
• Q. Ngihalela ucansi kakhulu kunomyeni wami. Ingabe i-libido yakhe ephansi isho ukuthi akasangikhangi?
• U. Ngisanda kudla iphilisi ukuze ngiye ocansini ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokukhulelwa, kodwa manje angikaze ngibe semoyeni. Kungenzeka yini ukuthi i-libido yami ephansi ibe yingxenye yemiphumela yami yokulawulwa kokuzalwa?
• U. Abafana bane-Viagra. Ngabe kukhona okungakhuphula i-libido yabesifazane?
• U. Iminyaka eminingi nganginokuphila kocansi okwangikhathaza nabafana engangingathandani nabo. Manje senginendoda engiyithandayo nengifuna ukuyishada, kepha angifuni ukudabula izingubo zayo. Ingabe lobu budlelwano buphelile?
• U. Angizizwa ngivuliwe ngize ngiye ocansini. Kujwayelekile lokho?
• Bala uqhubeke Umumo ngalo lonke ulwazi oludingayo ukuze ufunde ukuthi ungayinonga kanjani impilo yakho yocansi futhi ube nobudlelwano obanelisayo.
• Buyekeza kwe-

Uma uzokholelwa umyeni wakho noma lowo osebenza naye oxoxayo, udinga ukuthuthukisa impilo yakho yocansi.

Ngokusho kwabo, awunabo ubulili obuningi njengoba kufanele. Yenza inhlolovo omama abambalwa ebaleni lokudlala, kodwa, futhi bazoba nokuthatha okuhluke ngokuphelele ngesihloko. Manje ngubani oqinisile nokuthi ngubani ongalungile? Futhi uma idrayivu yakho isanda kuthatha i-nosedive, ngabe kukhona ongakwenza ngakho? Sibuze abafundi ukuthi yini abangathanda ukuyazi mayelana ne-libido, bese sibuza imibuzo kuphaneli yochwepheshe. Izimpendulo zabo zizokwenza ucabange kabusha okushiwo "okujwayelekile" futhi zikusize ujabulele impilo yezocansi enempilo futhi eshisayo.

Q. Ngibe neminyaka engu-11 ngishadile futhi ngijabule futhi nginezingane ezintathu, kodwa ezinyangeni eziyisithupha ezedlule angizange ngibe nesithakazelo ocansini. Ingabe kukhona okungalungile ngami?

A. "Akunjalo! Ukuba umzali kuwumsebenzi wesikhathi esigcwele, ngakho-ke akumangazi ukuthi ubulili buthatha indawo engemuva emithwalweni yakho," kusho uPepper Schwartz, Ph.D., uprofesa wesayensi yezokuhlalisana kwabantu eNyuvesi yaseWashington. "Ngaphambi kokuthi wazi, sekuphele izinyanga ezimbalwa."

Uma ufuna ukwenza ngcono impilo yakho yezocansi, nasi isinyathelo sokuqala sokuvuselela leyo liblusluster libido: Zenzele isikhathi sakho.

Bhuka umhleli wezinsuku ezimbalwa ngeviki noma ubuze umyeni wakho noma umngani osondelene naye ukuthi angene futhi ashaye ijimu. Ukuzivocavoca umzimba akukuniki nje kuphela amandla, futhi kungakhuphula imizwa yakho nokuzethemba.

Ngenkathi ukuyo, yenza izinto ezikwenza uzizwe ukhanga kakhulu. Thinta izimpande zakho, thola i-pedicure, noma umane u-spritz kumakha wakho owathandayo (noma ngabe umane uthatha izingane kusuka kumkhuba webhola). Ngemva kwamasonto ambalwa, kufanele uqale ukuzizwa njengawe futhi esikhundleni sokuthi “umama kabani-bani futhi isithakazelo sakho ocansini cishe sizobuya, kusho uSchwartz.” (Uma lokho kungenzeki, khuluma nodokotela wakho noma umelaphi; inkinga enkulu, njengokucindezeleka, kungaba imbangela.)

Omunye umsebenzi ozosebenza ohlelweni lwakho olumatasa: ucansi. “Ngezinye izikhathi kufanele uwufune ngisho nalapho ungawuthandi,” kusho uTerry Real, umelaphi eBoston. Esikhundleni sokulinda ukuduma kwesifiso, niqabulane futhi niphululane futhi nidedele izinto ziqhubeke. Akukho okungase kufike kulokhu izikhathi ezimbalwa zokuqala, noma ungase udinge ukuziphusha. Kepha, njengokuzihudulela ejimini lapho ukhetha ukuhlala kusofa, uzojabula ngokuthi ukwenzile.

Ukuze uvimbele ukushayela kwakho ekuncipheni futhi, qhubeka uqopha isikhathi esithi "mina" futhi nihlele izimpelaviki ezimbalwa zabantu abadala kuphela nomyeni wakho (cela isihlobo ukuthi singalala yini, bese nibalekela ehhotela lendawo). Uma kungenakwenzeka ukubaleka, bhukha umhlali bese uya esidlweni sakusihlwa kanye nefilimu.

Q. Isoka lami lihlale lifuna ukukwenza ekuseni, kodwa mina ngikhetha ebusuku. Singayenza kanjani impilo yethu yocansi ivumelane?

A. Ngaphambi kokuthi ubhekane nokuvumelanisa, kufanele uthole ukuthi kungani isikhathi sakho sivaliwe. Abafana bavame ukufuna ucansi ngoba nje bevukile ngokomzimba (ukuhumusha: bavuka ngokwakhiwa), kuyilapho abesifazane abaningi bedinga ukuzizwa bekhululekile ukuze bangene esimweni sento engase yenzeke ngemuva kokumnyama. Ukungavikeleki komzimba kanye nengcindezi nakho kungafaka amabhuleki kuma-romp asekuseni. Kunzima ukukuyeka ngokuphelele uma ukhathazekile ngokuthi i-abs yakho ibukeka kanjani ekukhanyeni kosuku noma ubhala uhlu lwezinto okufanele zenziwe ekhanda lakho.

“Thembeka kumfana wakho ngokuthi kungani ningenzi ucansi ekuseni futhi mbuze ukuthi ningashintshana yini ngohlelo lomunye nomunye,” kusho uReal. Gcina ama-shades ephansi futhi amashidi phezulu uma kukwenza uzizwe ukhululekile, kodwa zama ukukhumbula ukuthi isoka lakho liyakuthanda futhi likuthola ukhanga nokuthi ukwenza uhlu lwakho kungalinda kuze kube ngemva kokudla kwasekuseni. Ukuze umgibelise ngezikhathi zakusihlwa, zama ukudla isidlo sakusihlwa futhi ucishe i-TV kusenesikhathi ubusuku obumbalwa ngesonto. Futhi nikeza ngoMgqibelo noma ngeSonto ntambama; zingaba sezingeni eliphakathi eliphelele.

U. Ucansi lubuhlungu, ngakho-ke ngiyeke kakhulu ukuba nalo. Kwenzakalani? Kungani ngihlushwa ucansi olubuhlungu kangaka?

A. Izandla phansi, imbangela ejwayelekile yokuya ocansini okubuhlungu ukoma kwesitho sangasese sowesifazane. Kodwa-ke kulapho-ke kungase kudide khona - lokho kungase kube ngenxa yezimo ezimbalwa.

"Okokuqala, ufuna ukukhipha izifo zesitho sangasese sowesifazane, izifo ezithathelwana ngocansi, ukungahambi kahle kwe-thyroid, izimo ezifana ne-vulvodynia noma i-endometriosis, nezinkinga ze-hormonal, njenge-perimenopause," kusho uMargaret Wierman, MD, uprofesa wezokwelapha, i-physiology, kanye ne-biophysics eNyuvesi. waseColorado.

Letha uhlu lwezimpawu kudokotela wakho wezifo zabesifazane, futhi ulindele ukuthi enze ukuhlolwa kwezitho zangasese kanye nokuhlolwa kwegazi okuzolinganisa amazinga ama-hormone akho.

Ungethuki: Izimo eziningi zangasese ziyelapheka, futhi udokotela omuhle uzokwazi ukusikisela izindlela zokwenza ucansi lukhululeke okwamanje.

Uma konke ukuhlolwa kuvela ukuthi awunalo iqiniso, kungenzeka ukuthi awuvuswanga ngokugcwele ngakho-ke awukhiqizi ukuthambisa okwanele. Lokho kudala ukungqubuzana ngisho nezinyembezi ezincane emseleni wesitho sangasese sowesifazane, okungamangalisi ukuthi kungaba yimpango yangempela yokuphangwa.

Ukulungisa inkinga, sebenzisa into yokuthambisa eyenziwe ngamanzi, njengeKY Brand Jelly (gwema imikhiqizo kaphethiloli, engadala ukucasuka futhi ilimaze amakhondomu e-latex). Bese uthatha kancane: Chitha isikhathi esiningi udlala nophathina wakho, niqabulane futhi nithintane. Ungaba nenkinga yokuvuka ngoba ukhathazekile ukuthi ucansi luzoba buhlungu futhi, kepha ngemuva kokuhlangenwe nakho okumbalwa okuhle, ukukhathazeka kufanele kwehle.

Q. Angikaze ngiye ocansini selokhu kwahlukana ubudlelwano ngonyaka odlule, futhi angisakukhumbuli. Ingabe ukushayela kwami ​​​​kuhambe kahle?

A. Ngokujabulisayo, cha. Uyazi ukuthi umzimba wakho uba njani lapho ungazivocavoci umzimba? Yebo, kuvela ukuthi i-libido yakho ithamba kancane ngemuva kokuhlukana kobudlelwano ngoba akekho noyedwa oseduze ongakushukumisa.

Ucwaningo lwaseNyuvesi yaseVienna lwathola ukuthi amazinga e-hormone yokuzizwa emnandi i-oxytocin akhuphuka kakhulu ngemva kokuba ne-orgasm, ngakho uba nesifiso esinamandla socansi uma uba nalo kakhulu. Uma ungasakwazi ukukhumbula umqulu wakho wokugcina efuleni, ubuchopho bakho bungayeka ukuvuselela idrayivu. Kepha sithembe: Uma uhlangana nomuntu oshisayo osanda kungena komakhelwane, izobuya. Awudingi umlingani ukuze ibhola liginqike, noma kunjalo; i-self-lovin encane 'izogcina ukushayela kwakho kocansi kuqinile noma ungashadile. “Lapho uvuka kaningi, kuba lula ngobuchopho nomzimba wakho ukulandela okufanayo,” kusho isazi se-endocrinology u-André T. Guay, M.D., umqondisi weSikhungo Somsebenzi Wobulili eLahey Clinic ePeabody, Massachusetts. Uma ukuthola kunzima ukufika kuvuthondaba lapho uzithinta, zama ukusebenzisa isidlidlizi, noma landa itshwele elivusa inkanuko, njenge Amaphupho Abesifazane.

Q. Ngihalela ucansi kakhulu kunomyeni wami. Ingabe i-libido yakhe ephansi isho ukuthi akasangikhangi?

A. Sizwa njalo: Abafana bazokwehla futhi bangcolile noma nini, noma kuphi. Nakuba lokho kuyiqiniso kwabaningi, ikakhulukazi isethi encane, akuyona into evamile. Abanye besilisa banesifiso esiphansi sobulili, njengoba kwenza abanye besifazane. Kodwa uma isifiso sobulili esivamile somyeni wakho sisanda kuya eningizimu, cishe kunembangela engokomzimba noma engokomzwelo.

Kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nesikhathi esinzima sokuqhanyelwa, okungase kumcasule kakhulu, uvele wayeka ukuzama ukuya ocansini. "Izinkinga zomfutho wegazi ophakeme nezinkinga zesibeletho zingathinta ikhono lomfana lokuthola ukwakhiwa noma ukukhishwa kwe-ejaculate," kusho uWierman. "Imithi eminingi ejwayelekile efana necholesterol- kanye nomfutho wegazi wehlisa izidakamizwa, kanye nemithi ethile elwa nokudangala iyathinta ukusebenza kwe-erectile." Ukuvakashela udokotela kanye nokuhlolwa kwegazi okulula kungakhomba imbangela engokomzimba ye-libido ephansi.

Isizathu esingokomzwelo sinzima ukukhomba (sikhuluma ngamadoda, phela!). Ingabe ubonakala ecindezeleke kakhulu muva nje? “Ukukhathazeka kungaholela ekwehliseni ukukhiqizwa kwe-testosterone,” kusho uGuay. Ukungabi nentshisekelo kwakhe nakho kungavela enkingeni ebudlelwaneni bakho. "Lapho umfana engazizwa eseduze nawe, cishe ngeke akutshele," kusho u-Real. "Uzovele angabi nentshisekelo yokuba nobudlelwano obuseduze."

Qala ingxoxo ngale ndaba uma ungekho embhedeni. Zama ukutshela umyeni wakho ukuthi ungathanda ukuya ocansini kaningi bese ubuza ukuthi ngabe kukhona ongakwenza ukumsiza ajabule ngakho. Uma nobabili ningakwazi ukulungisa inkinga ninodwa, celani usizo lomelaphi.

U. Ngisanda kudla iphilisi ukuze ngiye ocansini ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokukhulelwa, kodwa manje angikaze ngibe semoyeni. Kungenzeka yini ukuthi i-libido yami ephansi ibe yingxenye yemiphumela yami yokulawulwa kokuzalwa?

A. Kungenzeka impela. "Alukho ucwaningo olukhombisa ukuthi izinto zokuvimbela inzalo zomlomo zehlisa ucansi, kodwa eminye yale mithi yehlisa izinga lowesifazane lokujikeleza kwe-testosterone," kusho uWierman. (Le hormone yandisa ukugeleza kwegazi uye esithweni sakho sangasese, ithuthukise indlela ophendula ngayo ekuvuseleleni ucansi.) Ngoba abesifazane abaningi bazizwa iphilisi lifiphaza isifiso sabo, kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nemiphumela emibi yokulawulwa kokubeletha.

Khuluma nodokotela wakho mayelana nokukhipha isivimbeli-nzalo esithathwa ngomlomo nokusebenzisa ikhondomu noma i-diaphragm izinyanga ezimbalwa,” kusikisela uGuay. "Uma ubona intuthuko, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi uthole isigebengu sakho." Ukushintshela kolunye uhlobo lwephilisi nakho kungasiza? buza udokotela wakho ngemikhiqizo equkethe uhlobo lwe-progestin olunamathuba amancane okuthinta amazinga akho e-testosterone.

Futhi ungalishayi indiva iqhaza lobudlelwano bakho kulokhu: Uma senibe ndawonye isikhathi esithile, kungenzeka ukuthi nisenkingeni. Hlanganisa izinto (zama ukukuthola kwenye indawo ngaphandle kwekamelo lakho lokulala!) Futhi ungaqala ukuzizwa ucansi futhi.

U. Abafana bane-Viagra. Ngabe kukhona okungakhuphula i-libido yabesifazane?

A. Cha, kodwa ungabheja abacwaningi bafuna leyo nkomo yemali. Izidakamizwa ezifana ne-Viagra zandisa ukugeleza kwegazi epipini, okubangela ukuqhanyelwa. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ezinye izidakamizwa zinomphumela ofanayo esithweni sangasese sowesifazane, kepha ngoba sidinga okungaphezulu kwalokho ukuvula, azanele ukwandisa i-libido yabesifazane.

I-Testosterone kungaba ngephilisi, nge-patch, noma nge-topical form kubonakala kunika abanye besifazane i-libido lift. Kokunye ukuhlola, isichibi sikhuphule idrayivu yocansi yabesifazane ababefakwe esikhathini sokuhlinzwa (basuswa amaqanda) cishe ngamaphesenti angama-50. Kepha akucaci ukuthi i-hormone iyabasiza yini abanye besifazane. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ucwaningo lwakamuva luthole ukuthi kunemiphumela engemihle engaba khona kwabesifazane abasebenzisa imikhiqizo ye-testosterone, okuhlanganisa induna nokukhula kwezinwele okungavamile.

"Asazi ukuthi yimaphi amazinga ajwayelekile we-testosterone kwabesifazane," kusho uWierman. "Futhi nakuba i-testosterone ephansi ingadambisa idrayivu yakho, abukho ubufakazi obuqinile obubonisa ukuthi ukuphakamisa i-hormone emzimbeni kuyasebenza noma kuphephile."

U. Iminyaka eminingi nganginokuphila kocansi okwangikhathaza nabafana engangingathandani nabo. Manje senginendoda engiyithandayo nengifuna ukuyishada, kepha angifuni ukudabula izingubo zayo. Ingabe lobu budlelwano buphelile?

A. Kuphela uma ulokhu uqhathanisa isoka lakho nalawo malangabi amadala. Kuyiqiniso elidabukisayo, kodwa ukungatholakali kungase kuvuse imililo yesifiso. "Lapho owesifazane ezizwa ethandwa, bese elahlwa, abuye athandwe futhi - okuyindlela ejwayelekile ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo - ucansi luvame ukuba nothando olukhulu," kusho uSchwartz. "Okubhebhethekisayo ukungaqiniseki kokuthi uzobuye uthole lokho kunakwa."

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kusho uSchwartz, uzojabula futhi waneliseke kakhulu ngobudlelwano obuzinikele nakho konke okuhambisana nakho, njengokuthembana, ubungane, nokusakazwa okungaguquguquki kothando nothando. Futhi uma uhehwa omunye komunye futhi uxhumekile ngokomzwelo, ubulili buzothuthuka ngokuzilolonga. Zama ukuzama izikhundla ezintsha zocansi, amathoyizi, nezindawo. “Yenzani uthando olwandle noma niyogeza ndawonye,” usho kanje. "Umbono uwukudala uhlobo olusha ngokuphelele lwentshiseko."

U. Angizizwa ngivuliwe ngize ngiye ocansini. Kujwayelekile lokho?

A. Ngokuphelele. Abanye besifazane bavuswa kalula nje ngokucabanga ukuhlangana, kuyilapho abanye bedinga ukushukunyiswa ngokomzimba ukuze baqale. Noma ngabe uluhlobo luni lowesifazane, kujwayelekile ngokuphelele, kusho uWierman. Amazinga akho e-testosterone angahle abe mncane ohlangothini oluphansi, akwenze wamukele ucansi kepha ungawufisi ncamashi. Futhi lokho akuyona into enkulu. Umbuzo wangempela uwukuthi, ingabe iqiniso lokuthi idrayivu yakho ayithathi hlangothi liyakukhathaza? Uma kungenjalo futhi uyakujabulela ukusondelana nokuba ne-orgasm, i-libido yakho "ijwayelekile" kuwe.

Bala uqhubeke Umumo ngalo lonke ulwazi oludingayo ukuze ufunde ukuthi ungayinonga kanjani impilo yakho yocansi futhi ube nobudlelwano obanelisayo.

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