Kungani Kubaluleke Kangaka Ukuqonda Usizi Ngesikhathi seCoronavirus

-Delile

• Yazi Ukuthi Usizi Lwakho Lungokoqobo Futhi Luyasebenza
• Chitha Isikhathi Osidingayo Ukuze Ucubungule Ngokomzwelo Ukulahlekelwa Kwakho
• Funa Ukusekelwa—Okungokoqobo Noma Ngaphakathi—Ukuze Ukhulume Ngosizi Lwakho
• Khumbula ukuthi Usizi Aluhambisani
• Dala Izinkambiso Zakho Ukuze Ukhumbule Ukulahlekelwa Kwakho
• Buyekeza kwe-

Umqedazwe we-coronavirus usenze sonke sifunde ukubhekana nokulahlekelwa okungakaze kubonwe futhi okungenakubalwa. Uma kubonakala—ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi, ikhaya, indawo yokuzivocavoca, umcimbi wokuthweswa iziqu noma umshado—ngokuvamile kuhambisana nomuzwa wehlazo nokudideka. Kulula ukucabanga: "lapho abantu abangaphezu kwesigamu sesigidi belahlekelwe yimpilo yabo, ingabe kunendaba ngempela uma kufanele ngiphuthelwe iphathi yami ye-bachelorette?"

Empeleni, kulungile kakhulu ukulilela lokhu kulahlekelwa, ngokusho kwesazi sosizi nomelaphi uClaire Bidwell Smith. Ngenhlanhla, kukhona amaqhinga angasiza ekudambiseni ubuhlungu.

Umbono wethu wosizi uhlale uthi kufanele kube okomuntu esimlahlekelayo-kodwa njengamanje, phakathi nobhubhane, sikhala ngamazinga amaningi ahlukene. Sidabukisa indlela yokuphila, sidabukisa izingane zethu zisekhaya ziphuma esikoleni, sidabukisa umnotho wethu, izinguquko kwezombusazwe. Ngicabanga ukuthi abaningi bethu kuye kwadingeka bavalelise ezintweni eziningi ngokungenakulinganiswa, futhi asicabangi ukuthi lezi zinto zifanele ukudabuka, kodwa kunjalo.

UClaire Bidwell Smith, uchwepheshe wezokwelapha kanye nosizi

Njengomphakathi womhlaba, siphila ngaphansi kwesimo esingafani nanoma yini esake sayibona, futhi ngaphandle kwesiphetho esibonakalayo, kujwayelekile ukuthi ube nemizwa yokwesaba nokulahlekelwa engakaze ibonwe.

"Ngiye ngaqaphela ngalesi sikhathi, ukuthi abantu abaningi bayaqhubeka nokubalekela usizi lwabo ngoba ziningi izindlela zokuphazamiseka," kusho u-Erin Wiley, MA, LPCC, i-clinical psychotherapist kanye nomqondisi omkhulu we-The Willow Centre, umeluleki. sebenza e-Toledo, e-Ohio. "Kodwa ngesinye isikhathi, usizi lufika lungqongqoza, futhi ludinga inkokhelo ngaso sonke isikhathi."

Ukwanda kwamuva kwaleli gciwane kubeka inani lokutheleleka emacaleni angaphezu kwezigidi ezi-3.4 eziqinisekisiwe ngesikhathi sokushicilelwa (nokubalwa) e-U.S., Ngokusho kweCenters for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Abaningi kuyodingeka bakhuthazelele lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho — futhi babhekane nosizi — behlukanisiwe ngokomzimba nabantu ababazobasiza, ngaphansi kwezimo ezivamile. Ngakho-ke yini okufanele siyenze?

Lapha, isazi sosizi nabelaphi banikela ukuqonda ekuqondeni usizi lwakho, ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nalo, nokuthi kungani ukuhlala unethemba kuyisihluthulelo sokudlula kukho konke.

Yazi Ukuthi Usizi Lwakho Lungokoqobo Futhi Luyasebenza

“Ngokuvamile, abantu bakuthola kunzima kakhulu ukuzinika imvume yokudabuka,” kusho uSmith. "Ngakho-ke uma kubukeka kuhluke kancane kunalokho esikucabangayo, kuba nzima nakakhulu ukuzinika leyo mvume."

Futhi ngenkathi umhlaba wonke ulusizi njengamanje, abantu kungenzeka futhi ukuthi banciphise ukulahlekelwa kwabo — basho izinto ezinjengokuthi "kahle, bekuwumshado kuphela, futhi sonke sizophila yize besingakutholanga "noma" umyeni wami uphelelwe ngumsebenzi, kodwa mina nginawo, ngakho-ke kuningi esingakubonga. "

"Isikhathi esiningi, sinciphisa usizi lwethu, ngoba ziningi izimo ezimbi kakhulu - ikakhulukazi uma ungalahlekelwanga muntu kulolu bhubhane," kusho uWiley.

Akunakuphikwa ukuthi ukulahlekelwa ngumuntu omthandayo kungukulahlekelwa okungenakubuyiseka. Uma ukhansela umcimbi noma ulahlekelwe umsebenzi, usenalo ithemba lokuthi ungaphinde ube naleyo nto, kanti uma ushonelwe umuntu awubi nalo ithemba lokuthi uzobuya. "Sinalo mqondo wokuthi, endaweni ethile ezansi komgwaqo, impilo ngethemba ukuthi izobuyela esimweni esejwayelekile futhi sizokwazi ukuba nazo zonke lezi zinto esizilahlekile, kodwa ngeke sikwazi ukuthatha indawo yokuthweswa iziqu obekufanele kwenzeke ekupheleni konyaka. Eminyakeni emibili, kuzobe kungafani, "kusho uWiley.

Usizi luba khona ngezindlela eziningi futhi lungaveza njengezimpawu zomzimba nezingokwengqondo, kufaka phakathi (kepha kungagcini lapho) ulaka, ukukhathazeka, ukukhala, ukudangala, ukukhathala noma ukungabi namandla, isazela, isizungu, ubuhlungu, ukudabuka nenkinga yokulala, ngokusho eMtholampilo iMayo. Kulabo abalilela ukulahlekelwa okuyinkimbinkimbi (njengokuthile okuqediwe noma umgubho), usizi lungadlala ngezindlela ezifanayo ezenziwa ukulahleka kokhonkolo (njengokufa) —noma ekuziphatheni okugxile kakhulu njengokudla, ukuphuza, ukuzivocavoca, noma ukubukela kakhulu i-Netflix ukuze ugweme imizwa engaphansi, kusho uWiley. Okusiletha ku ...

Chitha Isikhathi Osidingayo Ukuze Ucubungule Ngokomzwelo Ukulahlekelwa Kwakho

Bobabili uWiley noSmith bathi kubalulekile ukudabukisa ingxenye ngayinye yalokho osekuphelile manje. Ukwenza imisebenzi enengqondo efana nokushicilela nokuzindla kungasiza kakhulu ekusizeni uvume futhi ucubungule imizwa yakho, futhi uthole isixazululo kunqubo yakho.

"Imiphumela etholakala ngokuxosha usizi ukukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka, intukuthelo, kanti uma ungadlula kuzo futhi uvumele ukuzwa yonke into, ngokuvamile kuba nezinto ezinhle zokuguqula izinto ezingenzeka. Kungase kuzwakale kusabisa ukungena kuleyo ndawo; ngezinye izikhathi abantu bazizwa sengathi bazoqala ukukhala bangapheli, noma bazowa, kodwa empeleni okuphambene nakho kuyiqiniso. Uzokwenza umzuzu, uzokhala ukukhala kwakho okukhulu, bese-ke, uzokuzwa lokho kukhululeka futhi lokho kukhishwa, "kusho uSmith.

Impilo yengqondo engenzi nzuzo iMental Health America incoma uhlelo lwe-PATH lokucubungula imizwa engemihle. Uma uzizwa ungena esikhaleni sokudabuka noma sokuthukuthela, zama ukulandela lezi zinyathelo:

• Misa kancane: Esikhundleni sokuthatha isinyathelo ngemizwa yakho ngokushesha, yima futhi ucabangisise kahle.
• Vuma lokho okuzwayo: Zama ukusho lokho okuzwayo nokuthi kungani—ingabe ngempela ucasukile ngokuthi kwenzeke okuthile, noma udabukile? Noma ngabe kuyini, kulungile ukuzizwa ngaleyo ndlela.
• Cabanga: Lapho usuthole ukuthi yini le ozizwa ngayo, cabanga ngokuthi ungazenza kanjani uzizwe ungcono.
• Usizo: Thatha isinyathelo kunoma yini oyinqumile ingakwenza uzizwe ungcono. Lokhu kungaba yinoma yini ekubizeni umngane othembekile noma ukuvumela ukuthi ukhale ngokubhala imizwa yakho noma ukuzijwayeza ukuphefumula kwesisu.

Ukucubungula imizwa yakho akuyona into elula ukuyenza—kudinga ukuvuthwa nokuziphatha okuhle, futhi ngokuvamile iziphazamiso zethu osizini zingadlala ngezindlela ezilimazayo (njengokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa noma ukuhoxa ohlelweni lwethu losekelo). Futhi ngenkathi, njengezinhlobo, abantu benzelwe ukubhekana nalolu hlobo lobuhlungu, sikwazi ukubugwema, ikakhulukazi lapho zonke izingxenye zethu zisitshela ukuthi sibaleke, kusho uWiley.

Ukugwema kubonakala ngezindlela eziningi. "Abantu baseMelika, abantu bebonke, bahle kakhulu ekusebenzeni ngendlela abazizwa ngayo," kusho yena. "Sibheka iNetflix, siphuza iwayini, sihambe sigijima, futhi siba namaphathi nabangani, sidla ngokweqile, konke ukugcwalisa leso sikhala, kepha kufanele sivumele imizwa ingene." Ungacabanga ukuthi ubhekana ngendlela enempilo, kepha kukhona umugqa omuhle lapho okuthile kungaphenduka indlela yokubhekana nempilo engenampilo: "Sonke sinokuthambekela kokuya ekhonweni lokubhekana nokulusebenzisa kakhulu kangangokuba lubangele izinkinga uhlala,” usho kanje. Isibonelo, ikhono lokubhekana ne-maladaptive lingase lisebenze-alikubi ngokwemvelo, kodwa uma liphoqelelwa noma ungakwazi ukuyeka ukukwenza, noma yini eyeqile ingaba yingozi, uyanezela.

"Kuthatha isimo sengqondo esivele saguquka ukuba lusizi bese sithi, 'Ngizohlala nalokhu," esikhundleni sokukugwema, kusho uWiley. "Esikhundleni sokuhlala kusofa wakho udle u-ayisikhilimu futhi ubuke iNetflix, lokho kungabukeka njengokuhlala kusofa wakho ungenakho ukudla futhi ungabhali egazini, ukhulume nodokotela ngakho, noma uthathe uhambo lokuhambahamba noma uhlale ngemuva kwendlu futhi ngicabanga nje, "usho njalo.

UWiley ukhuthaza neziguli zakhe ukuthi zinake indlela imisebenzi ethile ebenza bazizwe ngayo. "Ngingaphonsela inselelo noma yiliphi iklayenti lami ukuthi, ngaphambi kokuqala isiphazamiso, uzibuze, esikalini sika-1-10, uzizwa kanjani? Uma kuyinombolo ephansi ngemva kokuba usuqedile, mhlawumbe udinga ukuhlola kabusha uma lokho umsebenzi ulungele wena. [Kubalulekile] ukuzazi ukuthi isenzo sisiza noma siyalimaza futhi unquma ukuthi ufuna ukunikela isikhathi esingakanani kiso, ”usho kanje.

Lapho uhleli naleyo mizwa, kungaba ku-yoga, ukuzindla, ukuzivocavoca nge-journaling, noma ukwelashwa, uWiley ukhuthaza amaklayenti akhe ukuthi agxile ekuphefumuleni kwawo futhi agxile ekukhumbuleni imicabango nemizwa yakho yamanje. Sebenzisa olunye lwezinhlelo zokusebenza ezinhle kakhulu zokuzindla, izifundo eziku-inthanethi, noma amakilasi e-yoga ukusiza ukunciphisa ingqondo yakho.

Ukulahleka kwezici zobudlelwano bezothando nalapha — abantu abaningi babhekana nokuhlukana, ukuhlukana, nezahlukaniso, kanti ubhadane luba yinqwaba kuleyo mizwa yokuhlukaniswa. UWiley uthi, manje yisikhathi esingcono kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili sokusebenzela impilo yakho engokomzwelo, ukuze bonke ubuhlobo buqhubeke phansi komgwaqo buqine, namandla akho angakhiwa manje.

"Kunokuthile okuwusizo ngokuba nekhono lokubona ukuthi ukubhekana nobuhlungu obungokomzwelo manje kuzokusiza ukuthi ube ngumuntu ongcono kamuva. Futhi kuzokwenza futhi kufanele kuthuthukise noma yibuphi ubudlelwano ongahle ubenabo ezansi," kusho uWiley.

Funa Ukusekelwa—Okungokoqobo Noma Ngaphakathi—Ukuze Ukhulume Ngosizi Lwakho

Bobabili uWiley noSmith bayavuma ukuthi enye yezinto ebaluleke kakhulu ongayenza ukusiza ekuqhubekeni nenqubo yosizi ukuthola abantu abasekelayo abangalalela ngozwela.

"Ungesabi ukufuna ukwesekwa," kusho uSmith. "Abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi kufanele ngabe benza kangcono noma bacabanga ukuthi akufanele babe nalesi sikhathi esinzima. Leyo yinto yokuqala okufanele sizivumele ukuthi siphume kuyo. Ngomuntu onenkinga yangaphambilini, kungaba isikhathi esinzima ikakhulukazi. Ukusekelwa kunjalo, ngakho-ke kufinyeleleka khona manje — noma ngabe kungokwelashwa okuku-inthanethi, imishanguzo, noma yinoma ngubani ongajwayela ukumlalela. "

Ngokwengeziwe, bobabili uWiley noSmith bayingxenye yamaqembu okusekela usizi futhi bayesaba ukuthi baye baba lusizo kanjani.

"Ngaqala leli qembu le-inthanethi labesifazane elibizwa ngokuthi 'Manage Your Shift.' Sihlangana njalo ekuseni futhi ngiyabaqondisa kulokho ebengikudinga kimi kepha manje esikuhlanganyela ndawonye. Sizofundela usuku lonke ugqozi, silandelele ukuthokoza kwethu, sikhulume ngempilo engokomzwelo - siyazindla kancane, ukukhanya ukunweba, nokubeka izinhloso. Sijoyine ngoba sonke besintanta futhi silahlekile futhi sizama ukuthola okuthile ngalesi sikhathi - akukho lutho oluzosisekela, futhi lokhu kusizile ngempela ukugcwalisa leso sikhala, "kusho uWiley.

USmith uphinde aveze inzuzo yamaqembu okusekela. "Ukuba nabanye abantu abadlula ohlotsheni olufanayo lokulahlekelwa njengoba udala ukusebenzisana okumangalisayo. Kuyafinyeleleka kakhulu, izindleko eziphansi, ungakwenza noma yikuphi, futhi ungasebenzisa nezingcweti okungenzeka ukuthi awuzange ube nazo. ukufinyelela phambilini, "usho kanje. Ezinye izinsiza eziku-inthanethi u-Smith azitusayo zihlanganisa: I-Psychology Today, Ukulahlekelwa Kwesimanje, i-Hope Edelman, i-The Dinner Party, kanye nokuba lapha, umuntu.

Ngenkathi kusashoda ukuthi umlingo ongaphakathi komuntu wokuthintana noma ukuxhumana kwamehlo, kungcono kakhulu kunokuthi ungatholi lutho. Ngakho-ke ukuhlala ekhaya usosizini lwakho, ukuhlangana nabanye kanye nochwepheshe ongakuqondisa kukho kubaluleke kakhulu. Futhi kuyasebenza.

Khumbula ukuthi Usizi Aluhambisani

Kujwayelekile kakhulu, bobabili uWiley noSmith bayavuma, ukuzizwa sengathi usudlulele ngaphesheya kobuhlungu bokulahlekelwa kuphela ukuthola imizwelo enzima eza futhi ngokuzayo.

"Ngibona abantu abaningi manje abalekela usizi, uma beqhathanisa impilo yangaphambi kobhadane — kepha ungamisa ukudabuka isikhathi eside kuphela, futhi kuyinto engapheli. Cishe sonke isiguli enginaso esilahlekelwe ngumlingani noma ingane — unyaka wokuqala onjengowenkungu futhi awuzwakali ungokoqobo ngoba umane ukhubeka ngawo, bese kuthi ngonyaka wesibili ikushaye impela ukuthi ayiguquki futhi iba yingxenye yakho iqiniso, ngakho kunzima kakhulu, "kusho uWiley. Lokhu kunjalo nangosizi phakathi nobhadane, futhi-iningi lethu sonke sihamba emasontweni noma ezinyangeni zokuhlukaniswa kulenkungu, futhi kusamele sibhekane neqiniso lokuthi lesi simo singakuthinta kanjani impilo ukuya phambili.

Futhi le "inkungu" iyingxenye yezigaba ezinhlanu zendabuko zosizi, imodeli eyaziwayo eyenziwe ngudokotela wezifo zengqondo u-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross ngo-1969 njengendlela yokumela ukuthi bangaki abantu ababhekana nosizi. Kubandakanya:

• Ukuphika iqala ngemuva kokulahlekelwa lapho kuvame ukuba yi-surreal futhi kunzima ukwamukela. (Lokhu kungaba yingxenye yaleyo "nkungu" yokuqala)
• Intukuthelo, isigaba esilandelayo, umuzwa ongaphezulu osivumela ukuba siqondise lowo mzwelo kokuthile okungabuhlungu kakhulu kunokucindezeleka. (Lokhu kungase kudlale njengokuthwebula umuntu osebenza naye ngenkathi usebenza ekhaya, noma ukukhungatheka ngokuthi osebenza nabo endlini kufanele babelane eduze).
• Ukuxoxisana, noma isigaba esithi "kuthiwani uma", lapho sizama ukucabanga ngezindlela zokunciphisa ukulahleka ngokubuza ukuthi bekungaba yini noma kungaba yini
• Ukucindezeleka yisigaba esisobala kakhulu esivame ukuhlala isikhathi eside kakhulu—imvamisa sihambisana nokuzizwa udabukile, unesizungu, ungenathemba, noma ungenalo usizo futhi ekugcineni.
• Ukwamukela yisigaba lapho umuntu ekwazi ukwamukela ukulahleka njenge "evamile entsha" yabo.

Kodwa uSmith uthi lokho ukukhathazeka yisigaba esingekho sosizi. Encwadini yakhe, Ukukhathazeka, Isigaba Esingekho Sosizi, ubeka ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani nokukhathazeka kwangempela enqubweni yosizi. Uthi ukukhathazeka kube yisibonakaliso esivelele asibonayo ezigulini ezilahlekelwe ngumuntu osondelene nazo — ikakhulukazi ukudinwa noma ukucindezeleka. Futhi manje, kunanini ngaphambili, ucwaningo lwakhe lubalulekile. Usizi luhluke kakhulu kuwo wonke umuntu, kepha into eyodwa ejwayelekile ngalesi sikhathi ukuthi ukulahlekelwa umuntu ku-COVID kuletha intukuthelo enkulu nokukhathazeka okukhulu.

Kubalulekile futhi ukuqaphela ukuthi izigaba ezinhlanu zosizi kaningi azihambelani, kusho uSmith. "Asigudluki nje kuzo ngokuphelele. Zenzelwe ukuthi zisetshenziswe njengezinkomba zomhlahlandlela, kepha ungangena futhi uphume kuzo - awudingi ukudlula kuzo zonke ezinhlanu zazo. Ungahle udlule kokungaphezulu eyodwa ngasikhathi sinye, ungeqa okukodwa. Kuya ngobudlelwano, ekulahlekelweni, kuzo zonke lezi zinto ezahlukahlukene ezingxenyeni odlula kuzo. "

Kuyisihluthulelo futhi ukubona nokuqonda ukuhlazeka kosizi kanye nendlela elizibonakalisa ngayo ngokuqhubekayo — ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, emjikelezweni wethu wezindaba, ezimpilweni zethu. Ukuhlazeka ngosizi—umkhuba wokwahlulela usizi lomunye umuntu noma indlela yokucubungula usizi—njalo kuvela emizweni yakho yokwesaba, yokukhathazeka, nokudabuka, kusho uSmith. Njengamanje, kunokwesaba okukhulu, ngakho-ke kunamahloni amaningi aqhubekayo — nabantu ababizelana ngokungasekeli umuntu ozongenela ukhetho kwezepolitiki, noma ngabe bagqoke izifihla-buso noma ukuthi bazizwa kanjani ngobhubhane , njll.

"Umuntu owenza amahloni akakaze abe sendaweni enhle uqobo. Lokho kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhumbula. Uma kwenzeka kuwe, ungashoshela endaweni yokusekelwa, noma ngabe lokho ku-inthanethi, noma umngani noma yini - khumbula nje ayikho indlela 'elungile' yokudabuka," kusho uSmith.

Dala Izinkambiso Zakho Ukuze Ukhumbule Ukulahlekelwa Kwakho

Ukuthola izindlela ezintsha nezizwakalayo zokukhumbula othandekayo odlulile noma wokugubha umcimbi ongaphuthi kungasiza ekunciphiseni imizwa esindayo yosizi.

’Bengilokhu ngikhuthaza abantu ukuthi benze ubuciko ngangokunokwenzeka ngalesi sikhathi ukuze beze nomqondo wabo wesiko, amasiko, noma yini ezwa okuhle kuwe. Uma umuntu efa ngalesi sikhathi, imvamisa kuye kwenzeka ukuthi kungabikho mngcwabo, kungabukwa, kungabi nasikhumbuzo, kungabikho okhulumayo, bese behamba. Awukho umzimba, awukwazi ukuhamba ukuze ube sesimweni esifanayo. Ngicabanga ukuthi kucishe kufane nokuqeda inoveli ngaphandle kwesikhathi emshweni wokugcina,” kusho uWiley.

Njengabantu, ngokwemvelo sithola induduzo enkulu emasikweni nasemasikweni. Lapho silahlekelwa okuthile, kubalulekile ukuthola indlela yokumaka lokho kulahlekelwa uqobo. Lokhu kungasebenza, ukusho, ukulahleka kokukhulelwa noma yimuphi umcimbi wempilo ohlelwe ngaphambilini, kuchaza uWiley. Kufanele uthole eyakho indlela yokumaka ngesikhathi, ngokuthile ongabheka emuva kukho noma ukuthinte ngokomzimba.

Ngokwesibonelo, ukutshala isihlahla kuyinto eqinile engaphawula ukuphela kokuphila. Kuyinto ongayibona futhi uyithinte. Ungase futhi uyihlobise indawo yepaki noma uthole enye iphrojekthi ebonakalayo ongayenza, kusho uWiley. "Noma ngabe ukhanyisa ikhandlela nje egcekeni lakho, noma wenza ushintsho endlini yakho, ubamba izikhumbuzo eziku-inthanethi, noma wenza umcimbi wokuqopha izinzipho ozihlanganise nomphakathi e-cul-de-sac yakho - singaba nezikhumbuzo zabantu umgwaqo, kodwa ukuba nalezi zikhumbuzi ezingabonakali noma ezihlukaniswe nomphakathi kungcono kunokuthile. "Ukuhlangana ndawonye, ​​ukuthola ukwesekwa, ukuxhumana nabantu esibathandayo kubaluleke kakhulu njengamanje," kusho uSmith.

Ukusiza abanye nakho kuyindlela enhle yokudabuka, ngoba kususa imicabango ebuhlungwini bethu, uma kungokwesikhashana. "Yenza okuthile okunomusa komunye umuntu owasho lukhulu kothandiweyo wakho owalahlekelwa - yenza i-albhamu yezithombe ku-inthanethi, bhala incwadi encane yezindaba ngaye," kusho uSmith. "Siyalwenza lonke lolu sizi kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi silubeke etafuleni, silubuke, silucubungule, bese senza okuthile ngalo."

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