Ukuhlukaniswa nabanye kungikhombisile ukuthi yini omama abasha abayidinga kakhulu

-Delile

• Isikhathi
• Ukunweba ikhefu lokubeletha
• Ikhefu lobaba elingaphezulu
• Ukuvumelana nezimo
• Ukusekela
• Lapho sisuka lapha
• Abazali Abasemsebenzini: Abasebenza Ngaphambili

Ngibe nezingane ezintathu kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okuthathu kokubeletha. Kodwa kungokokuqala ngiya ngemuva kokubeletha ngesikhathi sobhadane.

Ingane yami yesithathu yazalwa ngoJanuwari 2020, amasonto ayisishiyagalombili ngaphambi kokuba umhlaba uvalwe. Njengoba ngibhala, manje sesichithe amasonto ayi-10 sisodwa ekhaya. Lokho kusho ukuthi mina nengane yami sesihlaliswe yedwa isikhathi eside kunesike saphuma.

Kuzwakala kubi kakhulu kunalokho okuyikho, empeleni. Lapho sengidlulile ukushaqeka kokuqala kokubona ukuthi izinyanga zokuqala ezi-2 zempilo yengane yami zizobekwa kuze kube phakade njenge- “Before Corona” - futhi uma sengemukele iqiniso lethu elisha lingahlala isikhathi eside kunaleso ebesilindelekile - ngikwazile ukubona ukuvalelwa ngandlela thile ngokukhanya okusha .

Akuyona imfihlo ukuthi unyaka wokuqala ngemuva kokuzalwa unzima ngendlela eyisimanga, noma ngabe izimo zinjani. Ngaphandle kokufunda izintandokazi nobuntu bomntwana omusha, umzimba wakho, ingqondo, imizwa, kanye nobudlelwano konke kugudlukela. Ungase uzizwe sengathi umsebenzi wakho noma impilo yakho yezezimali isithathile. Kungenzeka uzizwe sengathi ubunikazi bakho buyashintsha ngandlela thile.

Ukwenza izinto zibe yinselelo enkulu, ezweni lethu, umthetho olandelwayo wokunakekelwa kwangemva kokubeletha nelivu yomndeni uyisidala kakhulu. Umbono wokuba ngumama osebenzayo wukubuya ngokushesha okukhulu, ufihle ubufakazi bokuthi uxoshe ingane, uphinde ufakazele ukuzibophezela kwakho namandla akho.

Lwela ukulinganisela, bayasitshela. Kepha akukho ukulinganisela lapho kufanele ushiye ngokuphelele ukuphulukiswa kwakho noma unganaki uhhafu wobunikazi bakho ukuze usinde. Ngiye ngacabanga kaningi ukuthi bekungeyona ibhalansi okufanele siyifise, kepha ukuhlanganiswa.

Ukuthola i-trimester yesine ngokuhlukaniswa nabanye kungiphoqelele ukuba ngibe yilokho nje: indlela yokuphila edidiyelwe lapho imigqa phakathi kwesikhathi somndeni, ukunakekela ingane, umsebenzi nokuzinakekela kufiphele. Lokho engikutholile ukuthi, ngandlela-thile, ukubeletha kokubeletha kulula - isipho, ngisho. Futhi ngandlela thile, kunzima kakhulu.

Kodwa ngaphesheya kwebhodi, ukuchitha izinyanga zokuqala zempilo yengane yami ekhaya nomndeni wethu kwenze kwacaca ngokusobala: isikhathi, ukuguquguquka, nokusekelwa yilokho omama abasha abakudinga kakhulu ukuze baphumelele.

Isikhathi

Ngichithe nsuku zonke nengane yami emasontweni angu-18 edlule. Leli qiniso liyangixaka. Yinde kunanoma iliphi ikhefu lokuyobeletha engake ngaba nalo phambilini, futhi sithole izinzuzo ezinkulu ngenxa yalokho.

Ukunweba ikhefu lokubeletha

Nginengane yami yokuqala, ngabuyela emsebenzini emasontweni ayi-12 ngibelethile. Nginengane yami yesibili, ngabuyela emsebenzini ngemuva kwamasonto ayisishiyagalombili.

Zombili izikhathi lapho ngibuyela emsebenzini, ubisi enganginalo lwehla kakhulu. Ipompo nje ibingasebenzi kangako kimi - mhlawumbe ngoba ayiqalisi ukukhishwa okufanayo kwe-oxytocin. Noma mhlawumbe ngangihlale ngizizwa nginecala ngokushiya ideski lami ukuba lipompe, ngakho-ke ngikubeka isikhathi eside ngangokunokwenzeka. Kunoma ikuphi, bekufanele ngilwele lonke ubisi olubusisiwe nezingane zami ezimbili zokugcina. Kepha hhayi kulokhu.

Bengilokhu ngipompa selokhu safika ekhaya sivela esibhedlela, ngilungiselela usuku lapho kuzofanele aye khona enkulisa. Futhi njalo ekuseni, ngiyashaqeka ngenani lobisi engilivezayo, ngisho nangemva kokuphakelayo.

Ukuba nengane yami yesithathu ngosuku, usuku lokuphuma kungivumele ukuba ngiyincelise lapho kudingeka. Futhi ngenxa yokuthi ukuncelisa ibele kuyinqubo eqhutshwa yisidingo, angikaze ngibone ukwehla okufanayo ekunikezelweni kwami ​​ubisi engake ngakubona zombili izikhathi ngaphambili. Ngalesi sikhathi ukunikezwa kwami ​​ubisi kukhuphukile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengoba ingane yami ikhulile.

Isikhathi nengane yami futhi sikhulise imizwa yami. Izingane zikhula futhi zishintshe ngokushesha. Kimina, bekuhlala kubonakala sengathi okusebenzele ukwehlisa izingane zami kushintshe inyanga nenyanga futhi bekufanele ngibazi futhi.

Ngalesi sikhathi, ukuba nendodana yami usuku lonke nsuku zonke, ngibona izinguquko ezincane esimweni sayo sengqondo noma ekuziphatheni kwayo ngokushesha. Muva nje, ukuqoqwa kwezinkomba ezincane usuku lonke kungiholele ekusolweni ukuthi ubethule engazwakali.

Ukuvakasha nodokotela wezingane kwaqinisekisa ukusola kwami: Wayencipha emzimbeni, futhi kwakusolwa i-reflux. Ngemuva kokuqala imishanguzo, ngambuyisa emuva kwamasonto amane ukuyohlolwa. Isisindo sakhe sasikhuphuke kakhulu, futhi wayesebuyele emuva ejikeni lakhe lokukhula elilindelekile.

Ngokokuqala ngqa selokhu ngaba ngumama eminyakeni eyi-7 eyedlule, ngiyakwazi ukubona izinhlobo ezahlukene zokukhala. Ngoba ngibe nesikhathi esiningi naye, ngiyakwazi ukusho ukuthi yini akhuluma ngayo kulula kakhulu kunalokho ebengingakwenza kwabanye bami ababili. Ngokulandelayo, lapho ngiphendula izidingo zakhe ngempumelelo, wehlisa umoya ngokushesha futhi ahlalise kabusha kalula.

Ukondla ngempumelelo nokukwazi ukusiza ingane yakho ukuthi ixazululeke lapho icasukile yizinto ezimbili ezinkulu empumelelweni yakho obonwa ngayo njengomama omusha.

Ikhefu lokubeletha lifushane kakhulu - futhi kwesinye isikhathi alikho - ezweni lethu. Ngaphandle kwesikhathi esidingekayo sokuphulukisa, ukwazi ingane yakho, noma ukusungula ubisi, sibeka omama ukulwela ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo - futhi bobabili omama nezinsana bangahlupheka ngenxa yalokho.

Ikhefu lobaba elingaphezulu

Akusimina ngedwa emndenini wethu ochithe isikhathi esiningi nale ngane kunabanye bethu ababili. Umyeni wami akakaze abe ngaphezu kwamasonto amabili ekhaya ngemuva kokuletha ingane ekhaya, futhi kulokhu, umehluko emndenini wethu onamandla uyabonakala.

Njengami, umyeni wami ubenesikhathi sokwakha ubudlelwano bakhe nendodana yethu. Uthole awakhe amaqhinga okudambisa ingane, ahlukile kunawami. Umfana wethu omncane uyakhanya lapho ebona ubaba wakhe, futhi umyeni wami uyaqiniseka ngamakhono akhe wokuba ngumzali.

Ngoba bajwayelene, ngizizwa ngikhululeke ukudlulisa ingane lapho ngidinga umzuzwana kimi. Ubudlelwano babo obukhethekile eceleni, ukuba nesethi eyengeziwe yezandla ekhaya kuyamangalisa.

Ngikwazi ukugeza, ngiqede iphrojekthi yomsebenzi, ngijogijime, ngichithe isikhathi nezingane zami ezinkulu noma ngimane ngehlise ubuchopho bami obudlangile lapho kudingeka. Noma umyeni wami esasebenza ekhaya, ulapha uyasiza, futhi impilo yami yengqondo ingcono kakhulu ngakho.

Ukuvumelana nezimo

Ngikhuluma ngokusebenza ekhaya, ake ngikutshele ngokubuya ekhefini lokubeletha ngesikhathi sobhadane. Akuyona into encane ukusebenza ekhaya nginengane eyodwa ebhuthini yami, eyodwa enganeni yami, neyesithathu ngicela usizo ngokufunda kude.

Kodwa ukwesekwa kwenkampani yami kwemindeni phakathi nalolu bhubhane kube yinto emangalisayo. Kuyinto ehluke ngokuphelele ekubuyeni kwami ​​kokuqala ngivela ekhefini lokubeletha, lapho umphathi wami engitshela ukuthi ukukhulelwa kwami ​​"yisizathu sokungaze ngiqashe omunye umuntu wesifazane."

Ngalesi sikhathi, ngiyazi ukuthi ngiyasekelwa. Umqashi wami nethimba lami abathuki uma ngiphazanyiswa ucingo lwe-Zoom noma ngiphendula ama-imeyili ngo-8: 30 ebusuku. Ngenxa yalokhu, ngenza umsebenzi wami ngendlela efanelekile futhi ngiwazisa umsebenzi wami kangako. Ngifuna ukwenza umsebenzi omuhle kakhulu engingawenza.

Iqiniso ukuthi, abaqashi kumele babone ukuthi umsebenzi - noma ungaphandle kobhadane - akwenzeki kuphela phakathi kwamahora we-9 kuye ku-5. Abazali abasebenzayo kumele babe nokuzivumelanisa nezimo ukuze baphumelele.

Ukusiza ingane yami ukungena emhlanganweni wekilasi layo, noma ukondla ingane lapho ilambile, noma ijwayele ingane enomkhuhlane, ngidinga ukukwazi ukuqedela umsebenzi wami ezinqeni zesikhathi phakathi kwemisebenzi kamama.

Njengomama osanda kubeletha, ukuguquguquka kwezimo kubaluleke kakhulu. Izingane azihlali zisebenzisana nohlelo olubekiwe. Kube nezikhathi eziningi ngesikhathi sokuhlukaniswa lapho umyeni wami noma mina kudingeke ukuthi sithathe izingcingo ngenkathi sishaya nengane ezandleni zethu… okuveze esinye isambulo esibalulekile kithi sobabili.

Noma sobabili sisebenza isikhathi esigcwele ekhaya nezingane, kwamukeleka kakhulu kimi, njengowesifazane, ukuqhuba ibhizinisi nengane ethangeni lami. Kusenethemba lokuthi abesilisa bazogcina impilo yomndeni wabo ihluke ngokuphelele empilweni yabo yomsebenzi.

Ngishade nobaba othintekayo ongazange anqikaze ukwenza ibhizinisi ngenkathi enakekela izingane. Kodwa noma kunjalo uqaphele ukulindela okungashiwo kanye nokumangala lapho esengumnakekeli wesikhashana.

Akwanele ukunikeza kuphela ukuguquguquka komama abasebenzayo. Obaba abasebenzayo bayayidinga, futhi. Impumelelo yomndeni wethu incike ekubambeni iqhaza kwabo bobabili abalingani. Ngaphandle kwayo, indlu yamakhadi iza phansi.

Umthwalo ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo wokugcina wonke umndeni uphilile futhi ujabule umthwalo omkhulu kakhulu ukuba umama awuthwale yedwa, ikakhulukazi esikhathini sokubeletha.

Ukusekela

Ngicabanga ukuthi inkulumo ethi "kuthatha isigodi ukukhulisa ingane" iyakhohlisa. Ekuqaleni, isigodi empeleni sikhulisa umama.

Ukube bekungekhona okwami ​​umndeni, abangane, abeluleki bezokuncelisa, abelaphi be-pelvic, abeluleki bokulala, ama-doulas, nodokotela, bengingeke ngazi into yokuqala nganoma yini. Konke engikufundile njengomama kube ngamanothi wobuhlakani obubolekiwe, kugcinwe ekhanda nasenhliziyweni yami.

Ungacabangi ukuthi ngomntwana wesithathu, uzokwazi konke. Umehluko kuphela ukuthi wazi ngokwanele ukuthi ungalucela nini usizo.

Lesi sikhathi sangemva kokubeletha asihlukile - ngisadinga usizo. Ngangidinga umeluleki we-lactation lapho ngibhekene ne-mastitis okokuqala, futhi ngisasebenza nodokotela wami kanye nomelaphi we-pelvic floor. Kepha manje njengoba siphila ebhadaneni, iningi lezinsizakalo ebengizidinga sezithuthelwe ku-inthanethi.

Izinsizakalo ezibonakalayo ziyi-GODSEND kumama omusha. Njengoba ngishilo, izingane azisebenzisani ngaso sonke isikhathi neshejuli, futhi ukuphuma endlini ukwenza i-aphoyintimenti kuyinselelo enkulu. Ukudubula, ukushawa kunzima ngokwanele. Ukungasho, ukuzizwa unethemba ngokwanele lokushayela nengane lapho ulala ubuthongo kuyinkinga esemthethweni yabomama abaningi bokuqala.

Ngijabule kakhulu ukubona indawo enwetshiwe yokwesekwa ithuthela endaweni yesikhulumi sedijithali lapho omama abaningi bezokwazi ukuthola usizo olubafanele. Nginenhlanhla yokuhlala eDenver, eColorado, lapho kulula ukuthola khona usizo. Manje, ngosizo lokufakwa kwedijithali okuphoqelelwe, omama abahlala ezindaweni zasemakhaya banokufinyelela okufanayo kokusiza engikwenzayo edolobheni.

Ngezindlela eziningi, isigodi esiyisaga sithuthele endaweni yesikhulumi ebonakalayo. Kepha akukho okubambela indawo yakithi yomndeni nabangane. Amasiko azungeze ukwamukela umntwana omusha esibayeni awafani nakude.

Okudabukisa kakhulu kube ukuthi ingane yami ayitholanga ukuhlangana nogogo bayo, ugogo omkhulu, obabekazi, omalume, noma abazala ngaphambi kokuba sikhosele endaweni. Uyingane yethu yokugcina - ekhula ngokushesha okukhulu - futhi sihlala amakhilomitha ayi-2 000 kude nomndeni.

Uhambo lwethu lwasehlobo lokuvakashela abathandekayo bethu oGwini lwaseMpumalanga lwaluzobandakanya ukuhlangana kabusha, ubhapathizo, imikhosi yosuku lokuzalwa, nobusuku obude behlobo nabazala. Ngeshwa, kudingeke ukuthi simise lolu hambo, singazi ukuthi singabona nini wonke umuntu ngokulandelayo.

Angikaze ngiqaphele ukuthi ngangizodabukisa kanjani uma lawo masiko esuswa. Izinto engizithathe kalula nezinye izingane zami - ukuhamba nogogo, uhambo lokuqala lwendiza, ukuzwa o-anti bekhuluma ngokuthi ingane yethu ibukeka kanjani - kumisiwe, ngokungapheli.

Isiko lokwamukela ingane likhonza nomama, futhi. Le masiko agcwalisa isidingo sethu sokuqala sokuqinisekisa ukuthi izingane zethu ziphephile, zithandwa, futhi ziyavikelwa. Lapho sinethuba, sizokwazisa konke ukwangiwa, yonke i-casserole engatheni, nawo wonke umkhulu ogogo odotwayo njenganini ngaphambili.

Lapho sisuka lapha

Ithemba lami ukuthi, njengezwe, singasebenzisa inqwaba yezifundo esizifunde ngokuvalelwa wedwa, silungise okulindelekile, futhi sakhe okungcono okwenzeka ngemuva kokubeletha.

Cabanga ngenzuzo emphakathini uma omama abasha besekelwa. Ukudangala kwangemva kokubeletha kuthinta cishe - ngineqiniso lokuthi lokho bekuzokwehla kakhulu uma bonke omama bebenesikhathi sokulungisa, ukwesekwa okuvela kozakwethu, ukufinyelela ezinsizakalweni ezibonakalayo, kanye nendawo yokusebenza eguquguqukayo.

Cabanga nje uma imindeni ingaqinisekiswa ngekhefu elikhokhelwayo, futhi ukubuyela emsebenzini bekuyindlela eyehlelayo enenketho yokusebenza kude lapho kudingeka. Cabanga nje uma singahlanganisa ngokuphelele indima yethu njengomama ngaphakathi komsebenzi wethu kanye nasempilweni yethu yomphakathi.

Omama abasha bafanelwe ithuba lempumelelo kuzo zonke izingxenye zempilo: njengomzali, umuntu nonguchwepheshe. Kumele sazi ukuthi akudingeki sidele impilo yethu noma ubunikazi bethu ukuze sithole impumelelo.

Ngesikhathi esanele nokusekelwa okulungile, singacabanga kabusha isipiliyoni sangemva kokubeletha. Ukuhlukaniswa kungikhombisile ukuthi kungenzeka.

Abazali Abasemsebenzini: Abasebenza Ngaphambili

USaralyn Ward ungumbhali onqobe izindondo nommeli wezempilo onentshisekelo yokukhuthaza abesifazane ukuthi baphile impilo engcono kakhulu. Ungumsunguli we-The Mama Sagas kanye nohlelo lokusebenza lweselula lwe-Better After Baby, kanye nomhleli we-Healthline Parenthood. USaralyn ushicilele i-The Guide to Survive Motherhood: Newborn Edition ebook, wafundisa ama-Pilates iminyaka eyi-14, futhi unikeza namathiphu okusinda ngokuba ngumzali kuthelevishini ebukhoma. Uma engalali ekhompyutheni yakhe, uzothola uSaralyn ekhuphuka izintaba noma eshibilika ezansi nabo, enezingane ezintathu.