Ngobungane Obuyingozi? Nakhu Okufanele Ukufune (nokuthi Ungakusingatha Kanjani)

-Delile

• Wenzani umngane onobuthi
• Izinsuku ezimbi vs. vibes ezimbi
• Kubeke phansi
• Inhlebo
• Xolisa ngaphandle kobuqotho
• Kukwenze uzizwe unovalo
• Shiya ungahlali kahle
• Qhathanisa wena nabanye abantu
• Zibeke phambili naphakathi nendawo - njalo
• Zama ukukushintsha
• Yeka ukuthi ubungane obunobuthi bukuthinta kanjani
• Uzizwa unesizungu futhi unesizungu
• Ukucindezeleka kwakho kuyanda
• Awuzizwa usekelwa
• Ukuzethemba kwakho nokuzethemba kwakho kuthatha isikhathi
• Uyazisola ngokuziphatha kwabo
• Uvame ukuzizwa ukhululekile
• Obunye ubudlelwano bakho buyahlupheka
• Manje-ke?
• KULUNGILE ukufuna ukunikeza ithuba lesibili…
• … Kepha lokhu akuwona umqondo omuhle ngaso sonke isikhathi
• Thatha isikhala sakho
• Beka imingcele
• Prakthiza ngaphambi kwesikhathi
• Yiba oqondile
• Cabanga ngokucophelela ngaphambi kokuthola ukuxhumana
• Vula abanye
• Kuthiwani uma sinabangane bobabili?
• Zinakekele
• Okubalulekile

Abangane basiza ekwenzeni impilo ibe nenjongo. Zinikeza ukusekelwa kwezenhlalo nezingokomzwelo, zinciphisa imizwa yesizungu, futhi zikusize uzizwe ujabulile futhi waneliseke ngokwengeziwe ngempilo.

Ukugcina ukuxhumana nabantu kungakhulisa nobude bempilo yakho futhi kwehlise ubungozi bokukhathazeka ngempilo engokwengqondo nengokomzimba, kufaka phakathi ukudangala nomfutho wegazi ophezulu.

Obunye ubungani bungase bungabi nomphumela omuhle kangako. Abanye bangaba nobuthi obuyingozi.

Ubungani obunobuthi bungaba ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene, kepha ngokuvamile bukuqeda ingqondo futhi bube nendlela yokukudicilela phansi esikhundleni sokwakha.

Uzibuza ukuthi ububona kanjani ubungane obunobuthi? Awuqinisekile ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nalesi simo noma ukuthi singakuthinta kanjani? Silapha ukuzosiza ngezeluleko ezingama-25 zokubona kanye nokubhekana nabangani ezidala ukulimala okukhulu kunenjabulo.

Wenzani umngane onobuthi

Wonke umuntu unezinsuku ezinhle nezimbi. Ngosuku olubi, umusa awuveli kalula ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngisho nakwabathandekayo. Ngakho-ke, ungawubona kanjani umehluko phakathi komngani onobuthi ngempela nomuntu onosuku olubi nje?

Izinsuku ezimbi vs. vibes ezimbi

Umngane omuhle onosuku olubi angase akuthathe ngokushesha noma abonakale ekude, kodwa cishe bazoxolisa uma izinto sezilungile.

Abangane abanobuthi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, bathambekele ekulandeleni iphethini engapheli nhlobo. Ngeke bakhombise ukuzisola okukhulu noma ukuthambekela kokushintsha, noma bebona ukuthi bakwenze wazizwa kabi.

Nakhu ezinye izinto umngane onobuthi angazenza:

Kubeke phansi

Abangane bavame ukuhlekisana, futhi ukuhlekisa okuncane okuhle akusho ukuthi ubungani bakho bunobuthi, ikakhulukazi uma uhleka, nawe.

Lapho umngane wakho ekujongela phansi njalo futhi ekwenza uzizwe ungaphatheki kahle, noma ngabe basebenzisa amacebo acashile okulahla noma ukuhlambalaza okusobala, ubungani bakho mhlawumbe abuyona impilo.

Inhlebo

Utshele umngane wakho okuthile ngokuzethemba, futhi ngakusasa, wonke umbuthano wakho womphakathi uyayazi imininingwane.

Noma ngubani angashelela asho izinto okungafanele azisho. Abangane abanobuthi bangabonakala bathanda ukusabalalisa izimfihlo nxazonke, noma ngabe ubacela ukuthi bagcine imininingwane yabo iyimfihlo.

Umuntu ohlala ephula ukuthembana kwakho akanandaba kakhulu nemizwa yakho.

Xolisa ngaphandle kobuqotho

Lapho ubakhiphela ngaphandle ngokuziphatha kwabo, banciphisa ukucindezeleka kwakho noma banikeze okungaqondakali ukuthi, “Uxolo.”

Esikhundleni sokuzinika isikhathi sokucabangela umbono wakho, bathi, "Ngiyaxolisa uzizwa ngaleyo ndlela" noma ulandele ukuxolisa kwabo ngokuzivikela "kodwa."

Uyamazi lowo: “Ngiyaxolisa ngokulimaza imizwa yakho, kodwa bekuyihlaya nje.“

Lokhu okungaxolisi kusikisela ukuthi othile akanandaba nokuthi izenzo zabo zikuthinta kanjani.

Kukwenze uzizwe unovalo

Ukungaqageli kukodwa akusho ukuthi othile unobuthi, kepha lapho ukusabela kwabo kungadala ukulimala noma ukuzizwa bekuhlukumeza, kuwukuhlakanipha ukuqhubeka ngokuqapha.

Akekho umuntu ongabikezela ngokuphelele, kodwa kunengqondo ukulindela umuntu omethembayo ukuthi aveze imizwa yakhe ngezindlela eziphephile nezinempilo.

Mhlawumbe bacasuka kakhulu futhi bakumemeze ngezinto ezincane, njengokukhohlwa ukucisha i-TV noma ukungabuyiseli ijakhethi abakuboleke yona. Bese kuthi, ngomzuzu olandelayo benze sengathi akwenzekanga lutho.

Uma ungazi ukuthi bazosabela kanjani, ungaba nesikhathi esinzima sokuzizwa ukhululekile lapho unabo.

Shiya ungahlali kahle

Ukuchitha isikhathi nomngane oseduze kufanele kukwenze uzizwe kahle, uma kukhulunywa nje. Mhlawumbe ukuchitha isikhathi nomngane wakho othile kukushiya ungakhululekile noma ucasukile.

Ungahle ungabi nayo ngisho nencazelo enhle yokuthi kungani, kodwa lapho ubashiya, uzizwa ukhululeke kakhulu kunokudumala, futhi awubheki phambili ekuchitheni isikhathi nabo.

Uma uqaphela lo muzwa ongazinzile, cabanga ukuhlola ubungani bakho ukuthola ezinye izimpawu zokuthi izinto azilungile neze.

Qhathanisa wena nabanye abantu

Unomngane othanda ukukhomba izindlela ongazilinganisi kwabanye abangane babo? Mhlawumbe ifulethi lakho lincane kunefulethi lika-X ngakho-ke akumnandi ukuzihlalela nawe. Noma ukugqoka kakhulu njengo-Y kungakwenza uphole.

Abantu banezici zabo ezihlukile nokwehluka, futhi umngane omuhle uzokuqaphela lokhu. Ngeke bakuqhathanise nabanye noma basho ukuthi ngandlela thile ungaphansi komunye umuntu. Nakanjani abayisebenzisi ingcindezi yontanga ukukwenza wenze izinto ongathanda ukungazenzi, nazo.

Zibeke phambili naphakathi nendawo - njalo

Wake waba nomngani onesimo sezulu esikahle? Ziyawa lapho izinto zihamba kahle noma lapho zidinga okuthile, kepha nini uwena ukuzabalaza, awukwazi ukufinyelela kubo nhlobo.

Abanye abangane bangaqhubeka ihora ngezinkinga zabo zakamuva. Lapho beqeda ukukhipha, banikeza ithokheni, "Futhi unjani wena?" ngaphambi kokubuyisela ngokushesha ingxoxo kubo.

Abangane beqiniso abathathi nje. Banikeza nozwela ngezinkinga zakho, ezimweni ezinhle, ezimbi, noma phakathi nendawo.

Zama ukukushintsha

Umuntu ozama ukushintsha izinto ngawe kungenzeka angabi umngani omuhle.

Umngane weqiniso uyaqonda ukuthi abantu banobuntu obuhlukile, futhi bazokwamukela wena ngokwakho. Uma ucela ukuqondiswa kokuthile ongathanda ukukushintsha, bangahle bakunikeze ukusekelwa nokukhuthazwa - kepha mhlawumbe bazokulinda ukuthi ubuze esikhundleni sokukutshela okufanele ukwenze.

Ithi ulwa nezimo zenhlalo futhi ufuna ukuba ngcono lapho uhlangana nabantu abasha. Umngani omuhle angakuphakamisa ukuthi uze kumdlalo wabo olandelayo ebusuku ukuze bakwethule kwabanye abangane abambalwa endaweni entofontofo.

Yeka ukuthi ubungane obunobuthi bukuthinta kanjani

Ubungani obunobuthi bungaba nomthelela omuhle kakhulu enhlalakahleni yonke- hhayi kahle. Ukuchitha isikhathi nabantu abangenandaba nemizwa yakho kungagcina kuthinte imizwa yakho futhi impilo yomzimba.

Uma ubona noma yiziphi kulezi zimpawu ezilandelayo ngemuva kokuchitha isikhathi nomngani, ungahle uthande ukucabanga ukuphinda ubuyekeze ubungani.

Uzizwa unesizungu futhi unesizungu

Ukuchitha isikhathi nabangane kufanele kukhulise umuzwa wakho wokuxhumana.

Ubungani obunobuthi bungakushiya uzizwe unganakwa esikhundleni salokho. Ufinyelela ukwenza izinhlelo, kepha ushiywa ngaphandle emicimbini yeqembu futhi imilayezo yakho ayiphendulwa (ngaphandle kokuthi, empeleni, badinga okuthile okuvela kuwe).

Kubonakala sengathi abafuni ukuchitha isikhathi nawe, futhi ubungane abukugcwalisi noma buzizwe njengobungani nhlobo.

Ukucindezeleka kwakho kuyanda

Ukucindezeleka okuncishisiwe kunenzuzo eyodwa eyinhloko yobungane obuqinile. Ukubona abangani kungahle kungakwenzi uzizwe ungcono ngamaphesenti ayi-100, kepha mhlawumbe uzobona ukuthuthuka okuthile.

Umngani onobuthi, kude nokusiza ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka, angangeza kukho. Bangase basho noma benze izinto ezikucasulayo lapho nichitha isikhathi ndawonye, ​​isibonelo.

Noma ungekho kubo, ungahle uchithe isikhathi esiningi ucabanga emuva ekuhlanganyeleni kwakho okungekuhle, okungakwenza uzizwe ushuba, uthukuthele, futhi usabeka kabi.

Awuzizwa usekelwa

Abangane beqiniso banikela ukusekelwa lapho ukudinga. Impela, lokhu kusekelwa akubonakali ngaso sonke isikhathi. Okungenani, ubungani ngokujwayelekile buhilela ukulalela ngozwela nokunikeza ukuqinisekiswa kosizi nobuhlungu.

Ebunganeni obunobuthi, awukaze uzwe lokho kusekelwa noma uzwela. Uzizwa unciphisiwe lapho bexebula izinkinga zakho noma bengakunaki ngqo uma bengaphenduli kwimilayezo yakho noma ezicelweni zosizo.

Ngamafuphi, azikho lapho udinga umngane kakhulu.

Ukuzethemba kwakho nokuzethemba kwakho kuthatha isikhathi

Lapho othile eqhubeka ekubukela phansi futhi ekuphatha kabi, ungaqala ukwamukela lokhu kuziphatha bese uyeka ukulindela noma yini engcono.

Njengoba uqala ukukholelwa ukubekwa phansi kwabo futhi uqala ukungabaza amandla akho namakhono akho, ukuzethemba kwakho kungaqala ukuncipha.

Uyazisola ngokuziphatha kwabo

Omunye umphumela wokukhohlisa? Uqala ukucabanga ukuthi unephutha.

Lapho bekuhlambalaza, ungakholelwa ukuthi ukufanele. Ungase uthathe isinqumo sokuthi abakunikeli ukwesekwa ngoba ucela usizo kaningi. Ngakho-ke zama ukuzenzela kubo ngokugxumela noma kunini lapho badinga khona okuthile.

Ungaze uzizwe ubonga ukuthi bachitha noma yisiphi isikhathi nawe ngoba, ngemuva kwakho konke, bakhombise amaphutha akho amaningi kakhulu.

Uvame ukuzizwa ukhululekile

Abantu abaziphatha ngendlela enobuthi bavame ukusebenzisa ubuqili ukuze bathole abakufunayo. Ukukhohlisa kuvame ukushiya umbono wokuthi okuthile akulungile impela, yize ungeke ukwazi ukubona kahle ukuthi yini.

Ungazizwa sengathi awazi into elungile ongayisho noma uyenze. Bangakuthatha ngokumba okucashile noma bakuhleke usulu obala, bakushiye ungaqiniseki ukuthi bakuqondile abakushoyo.

Ukusabela kwabo (noma ukusabela ngokweqile) kungakhuphula ukungalingani kwakho. Kwesinye isikhathi bahleka izinto, kwesinye isikhathi bayamemeza. Ukungazi ukuthi kuzokwenzekani kungakwenza udideke kakhulu ungaqiniseki ukuthi uzoqhubeka kanjani - ngaphandle kokuqapha okukhulu.

Lokhu kungakhululeki kungangena kwezinye izingxenye zempilo yakho, kukushiye ugxumagxuma futhi ucasuke kalula.

Obunye ubudlelwano bakho buyahlupheka

Ubungani obunye obunobuthi bungaqala kancane kancane kodwa buthule buhlukanise obunye ubuhlobo obuseduze.

Lapho usuqala ukuzingabaza, ungazibona ungumngani ompofu. Noma ungaqali ukuzingabaza, ungakuthola kunzima ukwethemba abanye. Ungase uzibuze ukuthi ngabe wonke umuntu ukukubona unamaphutha, uyisicefe, noma awusekeli bese uqala ukugwema abantu ngenxa yalokho.

Lokhu kungakugcina ekufuneni ukwesekwa kubantu abakukhathalelayo ngempela, kukushiye uqhela wedwa futhi uwedwa.

Manje-ke?

Uqaphele ukuthi unobungane obunobuthi, kepha yini elandelayo elandelayo?

Unezinketho ezimbili eziyinhloko. Ungahle uthande ukuzama ukukhuluma nomngani wakho kuqala. Kungenzeka ukuthi abaqapheli ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kukubi kanjani. Uma ufuna ukuhlenga ubungani, lokhu kungaba ukukhetha okuhle kokuqala. Okunye ongakhetha kukho kubandakanya ukuqeda ubungani.

Amathiphu angezansi angakusiza uthathe indlela ephephile nenempilo - noma iyiphi indlela oyikhethayo.

KULUNGILE ukufuna ukunikeza ithuba lesibili…

Mhlawumbe babengahlali benobuthi noma bengakuqondi ukuthi izenzo zabo zikuthinta kanjani. Abanye abantu yenza Udinga ukwesekwa okungeziwe lapha.

Uma beziphatha ngezindlela zobugovu ngaphandle kokukhombisa ubudlwangudlwangu obuqondile, ukukhuluma nabo ngomphumela wokuziphatha kwabo kungazithuthukisa izinto.

Sebenzisa izitatimende "Mina" nezinye izindlela zokuxhumana ezikhiqizayo ukuqala ingxoxo. Phumela obala ngokuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kukwenza uzizwe kanjani futhi ucabangele ukubeka imingcele ekusebenzisaneni kwesikhathi esizayo.

Isibonelo: “Ngiphatheka kabi lapho ngizwa izinkulumo ezingezinhle ngezinwele noma izingubo zami. Ngokuzayo, ngicela ungadeleli ukukhetha kwami ​​kwesitayela. "

… Kepha lokhu akuwona umqondo omuhle ngaso sonke isikhathi

Uma ubungani bungenazo izinzuzo ezinhle kuwe, futhi ingxoxo yakho nabo ayikasizakali ngalutho, kungaba yisikhathi sokubuphelisa. Kungokufanayo nangobungane obunqamula bube yinsimu ehlukumezayo.

Ungatshela umuntu ukuthi izenzo zakhe zikuthinta kanjani, kodwa awukwazi ukumenza aguquke. Kufanele bakwenze lokhu bebodwa, futhi akuwona wonke umuntu ozimisele ukwenza umzamo.

Bangathembisa ukushintsha futhi bakuphathe kangcono okwesikhashana. Kepha uma beqala ukukubukela phansi futhi noma bebuyela kwamanye amaphethini wokuziphatha okunobuthi, kungcono ukuthi uqhubeke.

Thatha isikhala sakho

Uma uchitha isikhathi esiningi ufisa ukuthi umngani akuphathe kangcono, kungani ungathathi ikhefu kubo isikhashana bese ubona ukuthi iziphi izinguquko?

Isikhathi esihlukanisiwe nobungani singakusiza ukuthi uhlele imizwa yakho futhi uthole ukucaciseleka ngezinyathelo zakho ezilandelayo. Ungabona futhi ukuthi impilo yakho ibukeka kanjani ngaphandle kwalowo muntu kuyo.

Mhlawumbe izinto zithuthuka kakhulu futhi uzizwa ungcono kakhulu uma ungakhathazeki ngokuzibona. Uma kunjalo, lesi yisizathu esinamandla sokucabanga ngokuqeda ubungani.

Beka imingcele

Uma ufuna ukuzama ukugcina ubungani, imingcele ibalulekile.

Kwenze kucace ukuthi ngeke wamukele isimilo esithile, njengokumemeza, ukuqamba amanga, ukuhleba, noma ukuphuma ezinhlelweni ngaphandle kwencazelo.

Ungacabanga ukuchaza ukuthi lezi zimilo zikuthinta kanjani nokuthi uzophendula kanjani.

Isibonelo: "Angikuthandi ukubekwa phansi, ngakho-ke uma uqhubeka wenza amahlaya ngemali yami, asikwazi ukuhlanganyela."

Prakthiza ngaphambi kwesikhathi

Lapho usukwazi ukuthi kufanele ubuqede ubungane, bazise.

Ukukhuluma ngalokhu mathupha kungcono kakhulu. Khetha indawo esesidlangalaleni enikezela ngemfihlo ethile, njengepaki noma enye indawo engathathi hlangothi. Uma ungazizwa uphephile, ukubashayela ucingo noma ukubhala incwadi nakho kungasebenza. Zama nje ukugwema ukuqeda ubungani ngomqhafazo, uma kungenzeka.

Ngaphambi kwengxoxo, bhala ukuthi ufuna ukuthini. Ngabe uzochaza izizathu zakho noma umane uthi ubungane abusasebenzi kuwe? Ukuhlela imicabango yakho nokuzijwayeza kusengaphambili (wedwa noma nomuntu omethembayo) kungakhuphula ukuzethemba kwakho futhi kukusize unamathele esinqumweni sakho.

Yiba oqondile

Ngenkathi izinga lemininingwane oyinikezayo lingaxhomeka ezimweni noma emlandweni wakho nalowo muntu, ungabashiyi ngokungaqondakali ngesimo sobungani bakho.

Bangase bangafuni ukuqeda ubungane, ngakho-ke bangakunquma noma bazame ukuguqula isimo ukuze uzizwe unecala. Zama ukungasabeli, noma ngabe basabela ngolaka noma ngolaka. Phinda isinqumo sakho ngomoya ophansi (kodwa ngokuqinile) bese uyahamba.

Cabanga ngokucophelela ngaphambi kokuthola ukuxhumana

Uma uthatha isinqumo sokunqamula oxhumana naye, themba imizwa yakho futhi ugweme ukufinyelela noma ukuphendula kwimizamo yokuxhumana nawe.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungacabanga ngezikhathi ezimnandi enizihlanganyele futhi uzibuze ukuthi sezishintshile yini. Khumbula ukuthi kungani waqeda ubungane. Ukuyiqala kabusha kungakwenza ube lusizi futhi, ngakho-ke kungcono ukuvumela kudlule isikhathi esithile ngaphambi kokuthi ucabange ukukuphinda uzame.

Abantu can shintsha, impela, futhi uma umngane wakho elula ukuxolisa okubonakala kuqotho, ungazama ukuvuselela ubungani. Mane uhambe kancane ukuze uzivikele.

Vula abanye

Ukuvaleleka ebunganeni obunobuthi kungakwenza uzizwe unamahloni, udidekile noma ungathembi abanye. Uma uziqhelelanise nabanye abangane, ungaba nobunzima bokuxhuma futhi.

Cishe unabangane abahle abafuna ngempela ukusekela. Ukufinyelela kubo nokubachazela ngesimo kungakusiza ukuthi uphinde uthole lobo bungani obuhle, obungakusiza ululame.

Kuthiwani uma sinabangane bobabili?

Uma wena nomngani onobuthi ninabangani bobabili, ungakhathazeka ngokuthi bazosabela kanjani. Ungazizwa kufanele unikeze imininingwane eminingi kunalokho ozizwa ukhululekile ngayo. Kungenzeka ukuthi sebenolwazi oluthile ngalesi simo.

Ungavele uthi, "Nginqume ukubuqeda ubungane ngoba bunomthelela omubi enhlalakahleni yami," noma okuthile kulokho.

Zinakekele

Lapho usuqedile ubungane obunobuthi, zinike isikhathi sokugxila kuwe.

Udlule kokuthile okubuhlungu futhi okunzima, ngakho-ke kunengqondo impela ukuthi udinga isikhathi sokululama.

Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela okuhle ngoku:

• ukuchitha isikhathi nabantu obathandayo
• ukwenza isikhathi sokulala kwekhwalithi
• ukugxila ezintweni zokuzilibazisa ezijabulisayo

Gcwalisa impilo yakho ngezinto ezinhle bese ufinyelela ukwesekwa uma uyidinga.

Okubalulekile

Ukuqeda ubungani obunobuthi kungaba yinselele, futhi kuyinto ejwayelekile ngokuphelele ukudinga ukwesekwa okuthe xaxa kunoma iyiphi ingxenye yenqubo. Umelaphi angakusiza ukuthi uqale uhlole imizwa yakho ngobungani futhi ucabangele izinketho zokukuqeda noma ukuzilungisa.

UCrystal Raypole wake wasebenza njengombhali nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Imikhakha yakhe enentshisekelo ifaka izilimi nezincwadi zase-Asia, ukuhunyushwa kwesiJapane, ukupheka, isayensi yemvelo, ukuzethemba ngocansi, nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukhethekile, uzibophezele ekusizeni ukunciphisa ukucwaswa okuzungeze izingqinamba zezempilo yengqondo.