Uyini UQ-Q wakho?

-Delile

• "Angikwazi Ukwehlisa Isisindo"
• "Angisoze Ngaluthola Uthando Lweqiniso"
• "Ngimdala Kakhulu Ngalokho"
• "Ngeke Ngiphume
• Yesikweletu "
• "Ngeke Ngishintshe Ukuthi Ngingubani"
• Buyekeza kwe-

Ukwethembeka kungaba yinqubomgomo enhle kunazo zonke, kodwa masivume, ibhulukwe lawo wonke umuntu livutha njalo ngezikhathi ezithile. Futhi asigcini ngokushaya iqiniso nabangani bethu, umndeni, kanye nabantu esisebenza nabo-nathi siyazikhohlisa.

"Kuyindlela yokuzivikela engokomzwelo nangokomzimba ukuhlanekezela indlela esibona ngayo izinto ngezikhathi ezithile," kusho uSimon Rego, Psy.D., umqondisi wokuqeqeshwa kwengqondo e-Montefiore Medical Center. "Le micabango ezenzakalelayo ingagcwalisa amakhanda ethu ngaphandle kokuqaphela noma ukunemba kwayo."

Akuyona into enhle selokhu abacwaningi be-Notre Dame bathole ukuthi le micu ingathinta impilo yakho. Ocwaningweni olwenziwa kubantu abadala abangu-110, labo abatshelwa ukuthi bangaqambi amanga abagcinanga nje ngokukhuluma iqiniso kaningi, baphinde babika ngentuthuko ebudlelwaneni babo, ukulala okungcono, ukucindezeleka nokudabuka kuyancipha, nokuncipha kwekhanda elibuhlungu nomphimbo obuhlungu.

Ukuze uthuthukise impilo yakho nempilo yakho, ziveze ungalungile ngalawa manga amahlanu ajwayelekile ngamathiphu ethu ochwepheshe.

"Angikwazi Ukwehlisa Isisindo"

Uma kubonakala sengathi awunikeli isikali esivuna wena, amathuba okuthi isisindo sakho kuwuphawu lwenkinga ejulile. "Kunzima ukukhuluma ngokungagwegwesi ngokuthi yini ehlupha umuntu ngempela, kodwa kulula ukuthola okuya ngasethunjini," kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esizinze ePortland uDidi Zahariades. "Ungaziqambela amanga uthi, 'Ngilambile,' kanti empeleni ugcwalisa imizwa yakho ngokwenelisa ngokushesha kanye nomzuzwana wokukhohlwa ngezinkinga zakho."

Hlola ngokwethembeka ukuthi ukulandela kahle kanjani uhlelo lwakho lokudla nokuqina. Ngabe uphe kancane ngezingxenye kamuva nje? Yeqa i-bootcamp yakho yangoLwesibili ekuseni ngoba "awuyizwa"? Uma kunjalo, uyazi ukuthi iziphi izinguquko okudingeka uzenze ukuze uqale ukubona isisindo sakho sibuyela phansi. Ukhiye lapha ukubekezela. "Akekho obeka amakhilogremu angama-40 ezinsukwini ezingama-30, kepha uma kukhulunywa ngokuchitha lawo maphawundi, silindele ukuthi kwenzeke ngokushesha," kusho uZahariades. Yamukela ukuthi kungaba uhambo olude kepha okulungele isikhathi nomzamo, bese ucabanga ukubona owelapha ukukusiza ukubhekana nanoma yiziphi izinkinga ezisemqoka ozama ukuzixazulula (noma ukuziba) ngokudla.

"Angisoze Ngaluthola Uthando Lweqiniso"

Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi, ngokusho kweReuters, kunezigaba ezingalinganiselwa ezigidini ezingama-54 e-U.S kanti ezinye ezingama-40 zazo zizamile ukuthola uthando online, kungenzeka ukuthi baningi abantu abathuthukisa la manga. Inkinga lapha ukuthi "uthando lweqiniso" kunzima ukuluchaza. “Abantu abaningi bafanisa uthando lweqiniso nokuthola umlingani ophelele, kodwa umhlaba ugcwele abantu abangaphelele,” kusho uCristalle Sese, Psy.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseLos Angeles. Abanye bangase bangakhethi kodwa bayangabaza ukuzivulela ngokuphelele uthando nokuzidalula nalokho abacabanga ukuthi amaphutha abo. “Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi, ‘Uma ngizibonakalisa futhi ngenqatshwa, lokho kuyosho ukuthi angilutho,’ futhi bazitshela ukuthi bahloselwe ukuba nesizungu ukuze bagweme lokho kulimaza okungase kube khona,” kusho uSese. "Kodwa ukuzibiyela kanjalo kukuthathela ithuba lokuthi uthole injabulo yangempela yokusondelana nokusondelana."

Ngakho-ke thatha ithuba uzibeke lapho, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi amaphupho akho awasuselwa kokunye kwalabo abangasoze benzeka-empilweni-yama-rom-com abazama ukukwenza ucabange ukuthi i-knight yosuku lwanamuhla izofika ishanele usuke ezinyaweni zakhe. “Uma ulindele izinto ezingokoqobo, ungase ungakutholi lokhu ocabanga ukuthi kuwuthando lweqiniso, kodwa ungathola uthando oluhle kakhulu,” kusho uSese. Uma umfana ekuhlonipha futhi ekuhlonipha futhi esebenza kanzima ukuxhumana nawe, ingabe kulukhuni ukwamukela amajini akhe amancanyana nokuthi akunikeza ama-carnation esikhundleni sama-roses?

"Ngimdala Kakhulu Ngalokho"

Ukusebenzisa iminyaka yakho njengezaba kuvame ukwenzeka lapho othile emane ekhathele ukusebenzela imigomo, kusho uCathy Holloway Hill, umbhali we Amanga, Uthando & Ukuphila. Kepha kunezibonelo eziningi eziphikisa la manga, kufaka phakathi uGolda Mier, owaba nguNdunankulu wesifazane wokuqala wakwa-Israyeli eneminyaka engama-70 nje kuphela. Noma mhlawumbe uzwile Shwi noMtekhala?

Uma uzithola uvumela usuku lwakho lokuzalwa lungene endleleni, ziphonse inselelo ngokuthi, "Nginguye hhayi mdala kakhulu futhi uma ngiyifuna, ngingayithola, "kusho uLisa Bahar, owelapha umshado nomndeni eNewport Beach naseDana Point, CA." Kuzwakala kulula, kepha lokho kuyindida-noma into elula kakhulu ingashintsha imicabango ibe izenzo uma nje siziphinda kithi kaninginingi. Ekugcineni siqala ukukukholelwa."

Ukuqhubeka uziqinisekisa ukuthi iminyaka yobudala ayinandaba, zizungeze nabantu abanalokho okufunayo bese ubabuza ukuthi bafike kanjani lapho, kusho uBahar. Futhi khumbula amazwi athi "awuyeki ukufunda." "Ukukhula komuntu siqu kanye nobungcweti kuhilela imfundo ezodonsa impilo yonke. Siyaqhubeka nokukhula njengoba sikhula, futhi izinjongo zempilo nokufeza okuthile akunamkhawulo weminyaka," kusho uHolloway Hill.

"Ngeke Ngiphume

Yesikweletu "

Njengoba izikweletu zinqwabelana nabaqoqi beza bengqongqoza, usuku lapho ungasaphili khona ukukhokha ukuze ukhokhe kungabonakala ngathi ngeke kuze kufike. “Kulula ukushiswa izinto oye wabhekana nazo bese uzizwa sengathi uvaleleke unomphela,” kusho u-Zahariades. Futhi lapho usuvele uzizwa wephukile, ukushaya enye i- $ 20 noma i- $ 50 lapha nalaphaya kungahle kungabonakali kuyinto enkulu.

Kuzwakala njengokubhora okuphelele, kepha indlela engcono yokukhuphuka kokubomvu ukudala isabelomali ngakho uphila ngokwamandla akho. Hlasela amakhadi esikweletu kanye nemalimboleko kuqala, noma ngabe kusho ukuthi uzokhokha kancane kancane, kusho uSese. Uncoma i-Mint.com ngokulandelela indlela osebenzisa ngayo imali noma ukubona i-accountant yomphakathi eqinisekisiwe noma umeluleki wezezimali ukuze akusize wenze uhlelo.

"Ngeke Ngishintshe Ukuthi Ngingubani"

Ngenkathi ukuhlangana okusha kungadala ukuthi abanye babe nomqondo ovulekile ngokwengeziwe, kungaholela ekutheni abanye babe nenkani futhi bazibeke ezindleleni zabo. Izithiyo zokuphila, kusukela ekulahlekelweni umsebenzi kuya kwesehlukaniso nasezindabeni zezempilo, zingasenza simelane noshintsho, kusho uHolloway Hill. "Akekho ofuna ukuzwa lezo zinhlungu, ngakho-ke siqala ukuzama ukulawula izimo zethu ngokuhlala emsebenzini noma ebudlelwaneni obungagcwalisi noma obuziba udaba lwezempilo ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthola izindaba ezimbi." Futhi kwesinye isikhathi siyazikholisa ukuthi asikwazi ukuguqula izimpilo zethu, thina, noma izimo, uyanezela, ngakho-ke sihlala phansi futhi samukele izinto njengoba zinjalo.

Nakuba ungase ungakwazi ukubhala kabusha okwedlule, ungathatha izinyathelo ezincane ukuze ube umuntu ohlukile noma ongcono esikhathini esizayo. “Zibekele imigomo emincane, ecacile efinyelelekayo,” kusho umelaphi ozinze eNew York City u-Paul Hokemeyer, J.D., Ph.D. Ukwephula izifiso zakho ezinkulu zibe yizinqubo zesinyathelo ngesinyathelo kuholela ekufezeni okuncane okuzokukhuthaza ukuthi uqhubeke uzama-futhi wengeze ekuzuzeni okukhulu, esho.

Buyekeza kwe-