Kungani Ngingeke ‘Nginqobe’ Ukukhathazeka noma ‘Ngiye Empini’ Ngokucindezeleka

-Delile

• Ukubheka amaphethini amadala ngendlela entsha
• Ukufunda ukudedela
• Ukubeka ukuzinikela esenzweni
• Shift ukulandisa
• Zijwayeze indlela yesithathu
• Cela usizo
• Usizo lukhona lapho

Ngizwa sengathi kukhona okucashile okwenzekayo lapho ngingenzi impilo yami yengqondo isitha.

Ngimelane namalebula ezempilo yengqondo isikhathi eside. Esikhathini sami esiningi sobusha nobudala obusha, angitshelanga muntu ukuthi ngihlangabezane nokukhathazeka noma ukudangala.

Ngakugcina kimi. Ngikholwe ukuthi ukukhuluma ngayo kuyayiqinisa.

Okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​okuningi ngaleso sikhathi kwakungumzabalazo, futhi ngadlula kukho ngizihlukanisile. Ngakugwema ukuxilonga izifo futhi angibethembi odokotela bengqondo. Lokho kwaphela lapho ngiba ngumama.

Lapho bekungimi nje, bengikwazi ukusineka ngikubekezelele. Ngangikwazi ukugoqa indlela emhlophe ekukhathazekeni nasekucindezelekeni, futhi akekho noyedwa owayehlakaniphe kakhulu. Kepha indodana yami yangibiza ngayo. Ngisho ngisacathula, ngabona ukuthi imizwa yami ecashile yayithinta kanjani indlela aziphatha ngayo kanye nomuzwa wenhlalakahle.

Uma ngangibonakala ngipholile ngaphandle kodwa ngizizwa ngikhathazekile ngaphansi, indodana yami yalingisa. Lapho abantu abadala abangizungezile bengaboni lutho, indodana yami ikhombisile ngezenzo zayo ukuthi iyazi ukuthi kukhona okukhona.

Lokhu bekucaca ikakhulukazi lapho sihamba.

Ukube benginokukhathazeka okulindelekile njengoba silungiselela ukundiza, indodana yami ibizoqala ukushaya izindonga. Onke amakhono akhe okulalela aphuma ngefasitela. Kubonakala sengathi uthola amandla angenabuntu.

Uphenduke ibhola lomphini kulayini wezokuphepha, futhi kwathatha konke engangikugxile ekumvimbeleni ukuba angashayisani nabantu engingabazi noma angqongqoze ipotimende lothile. Ukushuba kwesimo bekuzokhuphuka ngize ngikwazi ukuphefumula ngokukhululeka esangweni lakithi.

Lapho ngihlala phansi, wayezolile ngokuphelele.

Lapho sengithole ukuxhumana phakathi kwemizwa yami nezikhathi zakhe ezanele ukuthi bekungangabazeki, ngaqala ukufinyelela. Ngaqala ukubona ukuthi angikwazi ukukwenza ngedwa, ukuthi empeleni kungenze ngaba umzali ongcono wokucela ukwesekwa.

Yize bengingafuni ukucela usizo uma kufika kimi, konke bekuhlukile uma kuza endodaneni yami.

Noma kunjalo, lapho ngifuna ukusekelwa kwezimpawu zokukhathazeka nokudangala, angikusondeli njengomdlalo we-zero-sum.

Lokho wukuthi, akumina uma ngiqhathaniswa nempilo yami yengqondo.

Ukubheka amaphethini amadala ngendlela entsha

Yize umehluko ungabonakala njengama-semantics, ngizwa sengathi kukhona okucashile okwenzekayo lapho ngingenzi impilo yami yengqondo isitha.

Esikhundleni salokho, ngicabanga ngokukhathazeka nokudangala njengengxenye yalokho okungenza ngibe ngumuntu. Lezi zifundazwe akuzona engiyikho kodwa amava afika adlule.

Angikulwi nabo kangako njengoba ngibabukele bengena futhi bephuma empilweni yami, njengomoya ovunguzayo ongavusa ikhethini phezu kwewindi. Ukuba khona kwabo kungokwesikhashana, noma ngabe kuthatha isikhathi eside ukudlula.

Akudingeki ngizwe sengathi ngisempini. Esikhundleni salokho, ngicabanga lezi zizwe ezidlulayo njengezivakashi ezijwayelekile, ezibenza bazizwe bengenacala ngokwengeziwe.

Lokhu akusho ukuthi angithathi zinyathelo zokuzinakekela nokuthuthukisa isimo sami sengqondo. Impela ngiyakwenza, futhi ngifundile ukuthi ngiyakudinga. Ngasikhathi sinye, akudingeki ngisebenzise amandla angaka ukumelana, nokulungisa, nokukuthwebula.

Ngiyakwazi ukushaya ibhalansi phakathi kokunakekela nokuphatha. Ukususa iphethini ejulile kudinga amandla amakhulu kakhulu. Ukuqaphela ukuthi kufike ukuvakasha kuthatha okuhlukile.

Lokho okuthile ukwamukelwa.

Ngithola ukukhululeka okujulile ngokuzikhumbuza ukuthi akudingeki "ngilungise" izimo zami zengqondo. Aziphutha noma zimbi. Banjalo nje. Ngokwenza lokhu, ngiyakwazi ukukhetha ukungazihlanganisi nabo.

Esikhundleni sokuthi, “Hhayi, ngiphinde ngizizwe ngikhathazekile. Kungani ngingezwa nje ukuthi ngijwayelekile? Yini engalungile ngami? " Ngingathi, “Umzimba wami uzizwa unokwesaba futhi. Akuwona umuzwa omuhle, kodwa ngiyazi ukuthi kuzodlula. ”

Ukukhathazeka imvamisa kuyimpendulo ezenzakalelayo, futhi anginakukulawula okuningi uma sekunzima. Lapho ngilapho, ngingayilwa, ngibaleke, noma nginikele kuyo.

Uma ngilwa, ngivame ukuthola ukuthi ngiyakuqinisa. Uma ngigijima, ngithola ukuthi ngithola ukukhululeka kwesikhashana. Kepha kulezo zikhathi ezingavamile lapho ngikwazi ukuzinikela ngokweqiniso futhi ngikuvumele kudlule kimi, angikuniki noma yimaphi amandla.

Ayinamandla phezu kwami.

Ukufunda ukudedela

Isisetshenziswa esihle engisisebenzisile esifundisa le ndlela "yokuzinikela" ekukhathazekeni yi- ILovePanicAttacks.com. Umsunguli nguGeert, indoda yaseBelgium eyathola ukukhathazeka nokwethuka kukho konke ukuphila kwakhe.

UGeert wahamba nomsebenzi wakhe ukuze afinyelele phansi ekukhathazekeni kwakhe, futhi ahlanganyele lokho akutholile ngesifundo sakhe esithobekile nesiphansi.

Kusukela ekushintsheni kokudla kuya ekuzindleni, uGeert uzame konke. Yize engeyena uchwepheshe wezempilo oqinisekisiwe, wabelana ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe okuqotho njengomuntu wangempela ofuna ukuphila impilo ngaphandle kokwesaba. Ngoba uhambo lwakhe lwangempela futhi lujwayelekile, ngithole umbono wakhe uqabula.

Esifundweni inqubo ethile ebizwa ngokuthi indlela ye-tsunami. Umqondo ngukuthi uma uzivumela uzinikele, kufana nokuthi ubuyokwenza uma uthathwa yigagasi elikhulu lamagagasi, ungamane udlule kulokho okwenzekayo ekukhathazekeni kunokuba umelane nakho.

Ngemuva kokuzama, ngincoma le ndlela njengombono ohlukile ngokwesaba nokukhathazeka. Kukhulula ngokwedlulele ukubona ukuthi ungawuyeka umzabalazo wokulwa nokwesaba futhi kunalokho uvumele ukuntanta nakho.

Umbono ofanayo ungaba yiqiniso ngokudangala, kepha kubukeka kwehluke kancane.

Lapho ukucindezeleka kwenzeka, ngithola ukuthi kufanele ngiqhubeke nokuqhubeka. Kufanele ngiqhubeke nokuzivocavoca umzimba, ngiqhubeke ngenza umsebenzi wami, ngiqhubeke nokunakekela ingane yami, ngiqhubeke nokudla imifino yami. Kumele ngenze lezi zinto noma kungaba nzima impela.

Kodwa okungafanele ngikwenze ukuzibhekela ukuze ngizizwe ngaleyondlela. Akudingeki ngilwe nemicabango yami ebala zonke izizathu zokuthi ngihluleka njengomuntu futhi ngaleyo ndlela ngibe nokudangala.

Kuleli qophelo empilweni yami, nginesiqiniseko sokuthi akukho mphefumulo emhlabeni ongakaze uzizwe ucindezelekile okungenani kanye empilweni yabo. Ngikholwa ngokweqiniso ukuthi imizwa ephelele yemizwa iyingxenye nje yesipiliyoni somuntu.

Lokho akukwenzi ukukhanya kokucindezeleka komtholampilo. Ngempela ngikhuthaza ukuthi ukucindezeleka kungalashwa futhi kufanele kulashwe ngochwepheshe bezempilo abanamalayisense. Lezo zokwelashwa zingabonakala zihluke kakhulu komunye umuntu ziye komunye.

Ngikhuluma ngokushintsha kwesimo sengqondo ukuthi ngihlobana kanjani nesipiliyoni sami sokucindezeleka. Eqinisweni, ukuyeka ukumelana kwami ​​nokuxilongwa empeleni kwangiholela ekufuneni usizo kwasekuqaleni. Angibange ngisazizwa ngisongelwa umqondo wokubizwa ngegama.

Esikhundleni sokuvumela le mizwa ingichaze njengomuntu, ngingathatha umbono ohlukile. Ngingasho ukuthi, "Nakhu nginokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu." Akudingeki ngizehlulele.

Uma ngiyibuka ngale ndlela, angizizwa ngiphatheke kabi, ngingaphansi, noma ngihlukanisiwe. Ngizizwa ngixhumene kakhulu nohlanga lwesintu. Lokhu ukushintsha okubaluleke kakhulu, ngoba ulwazi lwami oluningi lokudangala nokukhathazeka luvele ekuzizweni nginqamukile.

Ukubeka ukuzinikela esenzweni

Uma lo mbono uzwakala uthakazelisa, kunezinto ezimbalwa ongazama ukuzenza.

Shift ukulandisa

Esikhundleni sokusebenzisa imishwana efana nokuthi "Nginokudangala," ungathi "Ngibhekene nokudangala."

Lapho ngicabanga "ngokuba" nokudangala, ngicabanga ukuthi ngikuphatha ngikuzungeze ngojosaka emhlane. Lapho ngicabanga ukukuzwa, ngiyakwazi ukubeka ubhaka phansi. Kuyadlula nje. Akushayiseli ukugibela.

Ukulahla lokho okwakho kungenza umehluko omkhulu. Lapho ngingaziboni izimpawu zami zempilo yengqondo, abanamandla amancane okubamba kimi.

Noma kubukeka kukuncane, amagama anamandla amakhulu.

Zijwayeze indlela yesithathu

Ngokuzenzekelayo siqhutshwa ukulwa noma ukundiza. Kungokwemvelo kuphela. Kepha ngokuqonda singakhetha enye inketho. Lokho ukwamukela.

Ukwamukelwa nokuzinikela kuhlukile ekubalekeni, ngoba ngisho nasekubalekeni sisathatha isenzo. Ukunikezela kuyasebenza kakhulu futhi kuyindida ngoba, empeleni, ukungasebenzi. Ukuzinikela ukuthatha intando yakho ngaphandle kwesibalo.

Enye indlela yokwenza lokhu ukwamukela ukudangala nokukhathazeka njengezimo zengqondo. Isimo somqondo wethu asiwona ukuthi singobani, futhi singashintsha.

Lolu hlobo lokuzinikela akusho ukuthi siyayeka bese sikhasa sibuyele embhedeni. Kusho ukuthi sinikela ngesidingo sethu sokulungisa, ukwehluka kunathi, futhi singavele samukele lokho esihlangabezana nakho manje.

Enye indlela ebonakalayo yokuzinikela, ikakhulukazi lapho ubhekene nokukhathazeka, ukusebenzisa indlela ye-tsunami.

Cela usizo

Ukucela usizo kungenye indlela yokuzinikela. Yithathe kumuntu omhlophe ongumakadebona omhlophe obejwayele ukugwema ukuba sengozini ngazo zonke izindlela.

Lapho izinto ziba ziningi kakhulu, kwesinye isikhathi ukufinyelela kube ukuphela kwento okufanele uyenze. Akekho umuntu emhlabeni oye kude kakhulu ukuthola usizo, futhi kunezigidi zabachwepheshe, amavolontiya, nabantu abajwayelekile abafuna ukukunikeza.

Ngemuva kokumelana neminyaka eminingi kangaka, nginqume ukushintsha isu lami.

Lapho ngenza, umngane empeleni ngibonge ngokufinyelela kuye. Ungitshele ukuthi kumenze wazizwa sengathi kukhona okuhle akwenzayo, ngathi unenhloso enkulu. Ngakhululeka lapho ngizwa ukuthi angizange ngibe ngumthwalo, futhi ngijabule ngokuthi empeleni uzwe ukuthi nami ngimsizile.

Ngabona ukuthi ukuzibamba kusivimbela ekuxhumaneni okuseduze. Lapho sengiveze ubuthakathaka bami, lolo xhumano lwenzeka ngokwemvelo.

Ngokucela usizo, asigcini nje ngokuvumela ukuxhaswa, kodwa futhi siqinisekisa ubuntu balabo esivumela ukuthi basisize. Luhlelo oluvaliwe.

Ngeke nje siphile ngaphandle komunye nomunye, futhi ukuveza ukuba sengozini kwehlisa imingcele phakathi kwethu.

Usizo lukhona lapho

Uma wena noma umuntu omaziyo esenkingeni futhi ecabanga ukuzibulala noma ukuzilimaza, sicela ufune ukwesekwa:

• Shayela ku-911 noma inombolo yakho yezinsizakalo eziphuthumayo yasendaweni.
• Shayela iNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline ku-800-273-8255.
• Thumela u-HOME ku-Crisis Textline ku-741741.
• Hhayi e-United States? Thola umugqa wosizo ezweni lakho nge-Befrienders Emhlabeni Wonke.

Ngenkathi ulinde usizo ukufika, hlala nabo futhi ususe noma yiziphi izikhali noma izinto ezingadala ingozi.

Uma ungekho ekhaya elilodwa, hlala nabo ocingweni kuze kufike usizo.

UCrystal Hoshaw ungumama, umbhali futhi usebenza isikhathi eside nge-yoga. Ufundise kuma-studio ezizimele, ejimini, nasezilungiselelweni zomuntu ngamunye eLos Angeles, Thailand naseSan Francisco Bay Area. Wabelana ngamasu okukhumbula ukukhathazeka ngezifundo ezenziwa online. Ungamthola ku-Instagram.