Isizathu Esibalulekile Sokukhulisa Indodakazi Yami Ukuze Ibe Umsubathi (Lokho Akuhlangene Nokufaneleka)

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"Hamba ngokushesha!" Indodakazi yami yamemeza lapho sifika gijimaI-Disney Kids Dashes ngesikhathi se-Star Wars Rival Run Weekend e-Walt Disney World eFlorida. Kungumjaho wesithathu weDisney womsubathi wami osafufusa. Ubuye athathe amakilasi ejimu, ukubhukuda, kanye namakilasi okudansa, agibele isikuta (isigqoko esigqokile, kunjalo) futhi ajikijele irakhethi yethenisi ngenkathi ememeza, "Ibhola!" Futhi ngebhola, usho ibhola likanobhutshuzwayo. P.S. Uneminyaka emibili ubudala.

Umama weTiger? Kungenzeka. Kodwa ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi amantombazane abamba iqhaza kwezemidlalo athola amamaki angcono, anokuzethemba okuphezulu, namazinga aphansi okucindezeleka. Banamathuba amaningi okuthi bahlale ezikhundleni zobuholi kamuva empilweni.

Ngenkathi ukubamba iqhaza kwezemidlalo ezikoleni zamantombazane kusezingeni eliphakeme kakhulu, ngokusho kocwaningo lweNational Federation of State High School Associations, basasalele ngemuva kwabafana ngabafundi abangaphezu kwezigidi eziyi-1.15. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukubamba iqhaza kwezemidlalo kwentsha engaphansi kweminyaka engu-12 kubonakale kwehla kancane kancane kusukela ngo-2008, ngokusho kwe-Sports & Fitness Industry Association. Futhi amaphesenti angama-70 alabo basubathi abancane azoshiya phansi eneminyaka engu-13, ngokusho kweNational Alliance for Sports. Ukuzethemba kwabesifazane ngokulingana nabafana abaneminyaka eyi-12-plummets abaneminyaka engu-14.

Ubufakazi bukhombisa ukuthi ukuchaya amantombazane ekubekeni engcupheni nasekuhlulekeni okujwayelekile kungaba yisihluthulelo sokulwa nalelo gebe lokuzethemba. Ezemidlalo ziyindlela eyodwa yomlilo yokufeza lokho. "Ezemidlalo kumane kuyithuba elihlelekile nelitholakala kalula lokuzwa ukulahlekelwa, ukwehluleka, nokuqina," kubhala ababambisene nabo ababhalisile Ikhodi Yokuzethemba Yamantombazane UClaire Shipman, uKatty Kay, noJillellyn Riley ku I-Atlantic.

Sengivele ngikubonile ukwahlukana kobulili ezingeni elincane kakhulu. Amakilasi okubhukuda endodakazi yami athanda ukuba yingxube yabafana namantombazane; phela ukubhukuda kuyikhono lempilo. Kepha isigaba sakhe sokudansa sonke singamantombazane kanti isigaba sakhe semidlalo sinabafana ababili kuyo yonke intombazane. (Futhi yebo, umdanso wokuncintisana kuyinto ezemidlalo kanye konke abadansi bangabasubathi.)

Kepha ngibona ngayinye ibaluleke ngokulinganayo. Emdansweni, ufunde izindlela ezintsha zokuhamba, ukugijima kwehhashi kanye nebhere ekhasa phansi ezindleleni zomgwaqo zaseNew York City, okwangethusa kakhulu. (I-sanitizer yesandla, i-STAT!) Uyajetés, a-chassés, futhi aphendule, hhayi ngoba "kuyintombazane," kodwa ngenxa yokuthi ukufunda ikhono elisha kumnandi. Futhi usenamandla kakhulu, ngokomzimba, kule nqubo. Ngenkathi umyeni wami emthatha eyobona iNew York City Ballet idlala ezindaweni ezisondelene, ezisezingeni eliphansi eMyuziyamu Yezobuciko Banamuhla, naye wahlatshwa umxhwele ngabadansi ababehefuzela bephuma esiteji njengoba ayenzile ngokusebenza kwabo. Manje ucela ukubuka "ama-purrinas" ku-TV futhi enze sengathi amaflethi akhe angama-ballet slippers.

Ekilasini lezemidlalo, ufunda umdlalo omusha nekhono isonto ngalinye, njengebhola lomnqakiswano nokudlubuluza, i-baseball nokujikijela, ibhola likanobhutshuzwayo nokukhahlela, kanye nokugijima kwe-shuttle, ukulandelana kwe-trampoline jumping nokunye. Njengoba amasonto eqhubeka, ngimbonile eletha lawo makhono ekhaya, ejikijela wonke amabhola angawathola futhi edlalisa noma yiliphi ibhola elizogxuma. Ufuna ukudlala nerakhethi yakhe yethenisi cishe nsuku zonke. Umthetho wethu # 1? Ungayishayi inja. (Related: Ngibonga Abazali Abangifundise Ukwamukela Ukufaneleka)

Futhi ukubhukuda? Uzogxumela emanzini angamsizi, afake ikhanda phansi aqhamuke ekhwehlela futhi emamatheka. Akasabi lutho. Ngiyethemba ukuba wumsubathi kuzomsiza ukuthi ahlale enjalo.

Yebo, umgomo wakho konke lokho kuvivinya umzimba akukhona nje ukumgcina enempilo noma ukumkhathaza, nakuba kusiza kukho kokubili. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukusebenza ngokomzimba kuthuthukisa ukugxilisa ingqondo nenkumbulo. Uqeqeshelwa ukuba ngumfundi ongcono, hhayi nje umsubathi ongcono. Futhi lokho kuguqulela ethubeni elikhulu lokuphumelela esikoleni. Abasubathi bathola amamaki angcono, bafunda izikole eziningi, futhi banamazinga aphezulu okuphothula kunabangebona abasubathi, ngokusho kwendikimba enkulu yocwaningo.

Eyentombazane, lokho kubaluleke kakhulu kunakuqala. Uma "uNyaka Wowesifazane" ka-2018 asifundisa noma yini, yilokhu: Sidinga ukuhlomisa nokufukula amantombazane ngazo zonke izindlela. Ucansi luyaphila futhi sawubona, # MeToo-nophahla lwengilazi luqinile. Ngemuva kwakho konke, kunamadoda amaningi abizwa ngoJohn asebenzisa izinkampani ze-S & P 1500 kunabesifazane, ngokusho kuka I-New York Times. Futhi kusukela kulowo mbiko ka-2015, amaphesenti angu-4 kuphela alezo zinkampani (ezimele amaphesenti angama-90 yenani eliphelele lemakethe yamasheya yase-US), ayenomphathi omkhulu wesifazane. Ngo-2018, amaphesenti angu-4.6 kuphela wezinkampani ze-Fortunes 500 ezaziphethwe ngabesifazane. Okukhulu #facepalm.

Kodwa "Unyaka Wowesifazane" nawo wamemeza lokhu: angeke sisakuthatha. Singaba nobunzima bokuthola inkokhelo efanayo, ukulingana, nenhlonipho njengamadoda ezimbonini eziningi nasemakhoneni omphakathi. Kodwa abesifazane abaningi bangenela ezindimeni zobuholi, njengabesifazane abayi-102 bomlando abahlezi eNdlu yabaMeli kulo nyaka. Sinezihlalo zezindlu ezingama-435 cishe maphakathi nokulingana.

Ukunikeza indodakazi yami-nawo wonke amadodakazi ethu-isipho sezokusubatha kungenye yezindlela zokufika lapho. Cishe abangamaphesenti angama-94 babaholi bamabhizinisi besifazane abasezikhundleni ze-C-suite banemvelaphi yezemidlalo, ngokusho kocwaningo olwenziwe yi-EY ne-ESPNW.

Phela, ezemidlalo-kanye neminye imisebenzi yokuncintisana, fundisa futhi ukuzithiba, ubuholi, ukusebenzisana, ukuphatha isikhathi, ukucabanga okujulile, ukuzethemba, nokuningi. Njengombhukudi okhuphisanayo ngikhula, ngafunda ukuthi ukwehluleka kaningi kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuphumelela. Ngonyaka owodwa, iqembu lami lokudlulisa lakhishwa emhlanganweni ngemuva kokuthi esasisebenza naye eshiye ibhulokhi kusenesikhathi. Besikade sisebenza ngenqubo entsha yokushintshana ebizizwa ingathandeki kithina sonke. Njengengane, i-DQ yayinzima ukuyigwinya. Kwezwakala njengento enkulu. Ngakho-ke sisebenze ngokuzikhandla sizijwayeza, sibhola izingxoxo zethu zokudlulisa size sonke sivumelane. Ekugcineni sawuthatha lowo mjaho saze sayofika emiqhudelwaneni yase-Illinois, lapho sabeka khona indawo yesihlanu esifundazweni.

Njengomgwedli ohlanganyele, ngafunda ukuthi kusho ukuthini ngeqembu ukusebenza njengomuntu oyedwa ngokoqobo nangokomfanekiso. Sagwedla sisodwa futhi salwa ndawonye. Lapho iqembu lami lizwa ukuthi isimilo somqeqeshi wethu besingelutho kuphela kodwa nobulili, sabamba ithimba umhlangano futhi sanquma ukukhuluma. Wayesithuka njalo. Intandokazi yakhe? Ukulingisa “njengentombazane” njengesikhali. Kwasithuka. Njengokaputeni, ngihlele umhlangano naye kanye nenhloko yohlelo lokugwedla ukuzwakalisa ukukhathazeka kwabasebenzi bami. Okuhle kubo ukuthi abalalelanga nje kuphela; bezwile. Waba ngumqeqeshi ongcono futhi saba yiqembu elingcono ekuqhubekeni. Eminyakeni engaphezu kwengu-20 kamuva, lowo mqondo namanje igcwele emphakathini wethu. Akumangalisi ukuthi umkhankaso we-Always #LikeAGirl uhlangane nabesifazane abaningi.

Manje, ngingumgijimi. "Mama gijima ngokushesha," kusho indodakazi yami lapho ingibona ngibopha ukukhahlela kwami. Kwesinye isikhathi uletha amateku akhe kimi futhi amemeze, "Ngihamba ngokushesha!" Uthanda ukugijima ehla enyuka eceleni komgwaqo. "Shesha! Shesha!" ememeza egijima. Ungalokothi ulinake iqiniso lokuthi akekho noyedwa wethu onejubane elikhulu. Ugijima njenge-Muppet, noma nini nanoma kuphi lapho engakwazi khona. Kodwa lapho sibeka umugqa endaweni gijimaIDisney Kids Dash, wangibamba. (Okuhlobene: Ngichithe Umgomo Wami Omkhulu Wokugijima Njengomama Omusha Oneminyaka Engama-40)

"Bamba wena!" esho, ekhombisa ukuthi ufuna ngimthwale. "Awufuni ukugijima kakhulu?" Ngibuzile. "Emizuzwini embalwa edlule ubugijima futhi umemeza, 'Hamba ngokushesha!'

"Cha, bamba," esho kamnandi. Ngakho ngamthwala ngedeshi. Ubabaze kusukela endlebeni kuye endlebeni njengoba siphume ndawonye; ekhomba futhi emamatheka njengoba sisondela kuMinnie Mouse ngasemaphethelweni. Wamanga kakhulu uMinnie (lokhu asakhuluma ngakho) kwathi nje ivolontiya lalengisa indondo entanyeni yakhe, waphendukela kimi. "Phinde ubone uMinnie. Ngiyagijima!" amemeze. "Kulungile, kodwa uzogijima kulokhu?" Ngibuzile. "Yebo!" ememeza. Ngambeka phansi wasuka ngejubane.

Nginikine ikhanda, ngihleke. Yebo, angikwazi yenza indodakazi yami iyagijima noma ibhukuda noma iyadansa noma yenza omunye umdlalo. Engingakwenza nje ukumnika ithuba, kanye nokumkhuthaza nokumeseka. Ngiyazi ukuthi kuzoba nzima njengoba ekhula, njengoba ingcindezi yontanga kanye nesiteleka sokuthomba. Kepha futhi ngifuna ukumnika lonke ithuba lokubhonga. Lowo ngumama wehlosi kimi.

Uma ngibheka indodakazi yami, ingabe ngibona umphathi wesikhathi esizayo, i-congresswoman, noma umgijimi ophambili? Impela, kepha hhayi impela. Ngifuna abe ne- inketho, uma ngabe yilokho akufunayo. Uma kungekho okunye, ngithemba ukuthi uzofunda uthando lokunyakaza impilo yonke. Ngethemba ukuthi uzokhula aqine, azethembe, futhi akwazi, ahlomele ukuthatha ijazi lobufazi elimlindile. Ngiyethemba uzofunda ukwamukela ukwehluleka futhi akhulume iqiniso emandleni, kungaba ngumqeqeshi wakhe, umphathi noma omunye umuntu. Ngethemba ukuthi uthola ugqozi ekujulukeni, kodwa hhayi ngoba ngifuna afane nami.

Cha. Ngifuna abe ngcono kakhulu.

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