Ngokomzimba, ngikulungele ucansi lwangemva kokubeletha. Engqondweni? Hhay kangako

-Delile

• Ukwesaba ukukhulelwa futhi
• Ukushintsha izinto eziza kuqala
• Ukuxhumana njengezithandani

Kusukela ekwesabeni ukukhulelwa futhi, ukuze unethezeke ngomzimba wakho omusha, ucansi lwangemva kokubeletha lungaphezu kokungokomzimba nje.

Umfanekiso kaBrittany England

Lokhu okulandelayo okuvela kumbhali okhethe ukuhlala engaziwa.

Kulungile, sengizoba sengozini enkulu lapha futhi ngivume okuthile okuthusayo nokungiphoxayo: Ngibe nengane ezinyangeni nasezinyangeni ezedlule, futhi ngikwazi ukubala ngakolunye uhlangothi ukuthi mina nomyeni wami besisondelene kangaki kusuka lapho.

Empeleni, uyazi ini? Kungani wenza sengathi - yenza lokho uhhafu yesandla.

Yebo, kunjalo.

Ngikhathazekile ngokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngami, ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngomyeni wami, uma ngabe sizobuyela "kokujwayelekile," noma uma umshado wethu uzobhujiswa unomphela.

Kepha-ke nginqume ukuyeka ukukhathazeka, ngoba uyazi ini? Ukuba nengane kunzima ngokwanele ngaphandle kwalabo abasanda kubeletha futhi bezizwa bephoqelekile ukuba baye ocansini ngaphambi kokuba bafune.

Iqiniso ukuthi, sikhuluma kakhulu ngokuthi uzozwa nini ngokomzimba ukulungele ukuqala kabusha ucansi ngemuva kokubeletha, kepha ngokomzwelo izici zihlobene kakhulu nokuthola isimo semizwa futhi.

Nazi ezinye zezithiyo zangempela ezingokomzwelo ongahlangabezana nazo njengomzali omusha, ukuze kuthi uma uhlangabezana nazo, wazi ukuthi awuwedwa.

Ukwesaba ukukhulelwa futhi

Uma usanda kubeletha, lokhu kungaba wukwesaba okwedlulele kuwe, ikakhulukazi uma kungekho noyedwa kini othathe izinyathelo ezingapheli zokuvala inzalo (futhi hheyi, noma ngabe unakho - ukwesaba kuwumuzwa ovumelekile futhi sonke sizizwile izindaba ukukhulelwa kwe-vasectomy).

Esimweni sethu, ngingasho ukuthi lokhu kube ngesinye sezici ezinkulu, uma kungeyona into yokuqala, ekuntulekeni kwethu emisebenzini yokulala. Kalula nje, ngibe nokukhulelwa okunzima impela, ukubeletha, kanye nesipiliyoni sangemva kokubeletha, futhi ngikholelwa ngokweqiniso ukuthi umzimba wami ubungeke ukwazi ukuphatha ukukhulelwa futhi.

Sasixoxe ngezindlela zethu zokulawula ukuzalwa ngenkathi ngikhulelwe, ngesinqumo sobabili sokuthi umyeni wami uzothatha igxathu lokunqotshwa. Kodwa ngenxa yezici ezimbalwa ezihlukene eziyinkimbinkimbi, akukwenzeki.

Ngenxa yalokho, ngeqiniso, ngesabile ngocansi. Akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi isifiso sami sokwenza noma isiphi isenzo sobulili siphansi kakhulu manje, ngenxa yokuncelisa ibele nokungalali, nazo zonke ezinye izidingo zempilo, kepha ubulili kimi, bubukeka bunjengobungozi obukhulu kakhulu bokungathathwa ngaphandle kokuqinisekiswa okungenaphutha ngeke aphinde akhulelwe.

Ngenkathi ucansi lomyeni wami lungahle lube yisikhathi esimnandi, ubulili kimi njengamanje buzwa njengebhizinisi eliyingozi, eliyingozi - hhayi ngendlela enhle.

Ngiqala ukucabanga ngokuhweba ngaleyo mizuzu embalwa (ahem) ngalokho okungaholela ezinyangeni eziyi-9 zokungaphatheki kahle, amahora okusebenza, nezinyanga zokululama kimi, futhi iqala nje ukuzizwa… ayikufanele nakancane lokho.

Ngiyaxolisa, kodwa kimi okwamanje, lelo iqiniso. Izinto azizizwa ngendlela efanayo, izitho zomzimba zisezikhundleni ezihlukene, izingxenye ezithile kungenzeka ukuthi ziyavuza, futhi kanjani emhlabeni kufanele uzizwe unothando uma uhlala ukhathazekile ngokudlula ebunzimeni osanda kukhuthazelela futhi?

Ukushintsha izinto eziza kuqala

Ngaphezu kokwesaba okungivimbele ngisho nasekufuneni ukucabanga ngocansi futhi, iqiniso lokuthi izinto engizibeka phambili azibandakanyi ucansi njengamanje. Ngijule kakhulu kwimodi yokusinda manje ukuthi kufanele ngilinde umyeni wami abuye ekhaya angikhulule emisebenzini yokukhulisa izingane ukuze ngenze izinto eziyisisekelo njengokusebenzisa indlu yangasese noma ukugeza.

Ingane yethu ayikaze ilale ubusuku bonke - ivuka okungenani kabili noma kathathu ngobusuku ngo-a kuhle ebusuku - futhi ngoba nginomsebenzi okude nasekhaya, ngisebenza ngokugcwele ngenkathi ngimnakekela ngokugcwele.

Ekupheleni kosuku, engifuna ukukwenza ukulala noma yiziphi izikhathi ezimbalwa eziyigugu engingazenza. Ubulili, futhi kimi, abuzizwa kufanelekile ukuhweba ngokulahlekelwa yinoma yiliphi inani lokulala.

Ukuxhumana njengezithandani

Kunezinkulumo eziningi ngohlangothi lomzimba locansi lwangemva kokubeletha, kodwa ukuthi impilo yakho yezocansi ibukeka kanjani njengomuntu osanda kubeletha ingeyomuntu uqobo futhi ifaka okungaphezulu nje komzimba ophulukiswayo.

Ukuba nengane kuguqula impilo yakho nobudlelwano bakho ngezindlela ezinqala kangangoba kungazizwa kunzima ukuzama nje ukugxumela emuva ubuye endleleni owawukwenza ngayo izinto ngaphandle kokubheka izindlela ubuhlobo bakho obushintshe ngayo.

Ucwaningo oluthakazelayo lwango-2018 luqhathanise ukwaneliseka ngokocansi phakathi kwamaqembu amabili abesifazane besanda kubeletha - elilodwa elathola ukunakekelwa okujwayelekile kwangemva kokubeletha nelilodwa elathola ukwelulekwa kwezithandani neqembu.

Iqembu elathola ukwelulekwa ngokusondelana, ukuxhumana, izimpendulo zabesifazane ngokocansi, kanye nezinkinga ezingokwengqondo nezenhlalo ezungeze ucansi lwangemva kokubeletha lalinokwaneliseka okuphezulu kakhulu kwezocansi ngemuva kwamasonto ayi-8 kuneqembu elilawulayo.

Cabanga lokho, akunjalo? Ukwamukela ukuthi ucansi lwangemva kokubeletha lungahle lubandakanye okungaphezu komuntu ophulukisa lapho futhi aqhubeke nemisebenzi njengokujwayelekile empeleni kusize abesifazane ukuthi babe nezimpilo ezingcono zocansi? Ubani obengaba ne-thunk?

Iphuzu kukho konke lokhu, bazali bami engibathandayo, akukhona ukukuqinisekisa nje kuphela ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi nenza kangcono kakhulu emnyangweni wekamelo lokulala kunami, kodwa ukusikhumbuza konke lokho uma kukhulunywa ngokuxhasa nokufundisa abantu ngokuthi ukuzulazula empilweni ngemuva kokuthola umntwana, sisenomsebenzi omningi okufanele siwenze.

Ngakho-ke uma ulwa nempilo yakho yezocansi njengamanje, okokuqala, ungazishayi wena ngakho. Ayikho nje indlela "elungile" noma "engalungile" yokuya ocansini esiteji sokubeletha, futhi yonke imibhangqwana izohluka.

Esikhundleni salokho, zinikeni isikhathi sokuvuma izinto ezingokoqobo ezingokomzimba nezingokomzwelo ezingase zidlale, nixhumane njengabantu abashadile, futhi ungesabi ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe futhi. (Bheka umhlahlandlela weHealthline ekwelashweni okungabizi.)

Kuyinto eyakho impilo yocansi, futhi eyakho isipiliyoni sangemva kokubeletha, ngakho-ke nguwe kuphela ongakwazi okulungele wena nomlingani wakho. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuqinisekisa ukuthi uzizwa ukhululekile, futhi ucansi luyaqhubeka nokuba yinto enhle kuwe lapho uzizwa ulungele - hhayi into ozizwa unecala noma eyihlazo ngayo.