Ungabambisana Kanjani Nomzali Ngempumelelo

-Delile

• Kuyini ukubambisana ngokubambisana?
• Ungabambisana kanjani nomzali
• 1. Dedela okwedlule
• Gxila enganeni yakho
• 3. Khulumisanani
• 4. Lalelisisa
• 5. Ukusekelana
• 6. Hlela amaholide namaholide
• 7. Ukuyekethisa
• Izinto ezi-6 okufanele sizigweme
• Ungalakha kanjani uhlelo lokuba ngumzali
• Ukusebenza nomelaphi
• Ukuzinakekela
• Ukuthatha

Kuyini ukubambisana ngokubambisana?

Ukubambisana kubazali baba ngokuhlanganyela babantwana ngabazali babo noma izibalo zabazali abangashadile noma abahlala ngokwehlukana.

Abasondelene nabo kungenzeka bahlukanisile noma kungenzeka ukuthi abakaze bashade. Abanakho ukuzibandakanya kwezothando komunye nomunye. Ukubambisana njengomzali kubizwa nangokuthi ukuba ngumzali ngokuhlanganyela.

Obambisene nabo ababeli nje kuphela ukunakekelwa okujwayelekile kwezingane zabo, kepha futhi banikeza izinqumo ezinkulu mayelana nokukhuliswa, kufaka phakathi:

• imfundo
• ukunakekelwa kwezokwelapha
• imfundo yenkolo
• ezinye izindaba ezibalulekile

Co-parenting kuvamile. Kulinganiselwa ukuthi izingane ezingamaphesenti angama-60 e-United States zihlala nabazali bazo bangempela abashadile. Abanye abangamaphesenti angama-40 bahlala ezimweni ezahlukahlukene, eziningi zazo ezibandakanya ukubambisana kwabazali.

Qhubeka ufunde ukuze ufunde kabanzi mayelana nokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana, kufaka phakathi amathiphu, izinto okufanele uzigweme, nokuningi.

Ungabambisana kanjani nomzali

Ukuba ngumzali ophumelele ngokubambisana kuzuzisa izingane ngezindlela eziningi.

Ucwaningo olushicilelwe kwi-Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Science luthole ukuthi izingane ezikhuliswa ngabambisene nabo baba nezinkinga zokuziphatha ezimbalwa. Basondele futhi koyise kunezingane ezikhuliswa ngabazali abambisene nabo noma umzali ongayedwa.

Nakhu ukuthi ungawandisa kanjani amathuba akho okuphumelela kubazali:

1. Dedela okwedlule

Ngeke ukwazi ukubambisana ngokuphumelelayo uma ungenalutho ngaphandle kokudelela owake wakubo. Usengakhipha ukukhathazeka kwakho nabangani, umndeni, noma owelapha, kepha ungalokothi uveze ngomunye umzali ezinganeni zakho.

Gxila enganeni yakho

Noma yini okungenzeka yenzekile ebuhlotsheni bakho esikhathini esedlule, khumbula, sekudlule. Ukugxila kwakho kwamanje kufanele kube kokulungele ingane yakho noma izingane zakho.

3. Khulumisanani

Ukubambisana okuhle komzali kuncike ekuxhumaneni okuhle. Nayi eminye imihlahlandlela:

• Cacisa, mfushane futhi uhloniphe. Ungagxeki, usole, ubeke icala, noma usongele. Ukuxhumana kwakho kufanele kube okwebhizinisi.
• Yiba nokubambisana. Ngaphambi kokuxhumana, cabanga ukuthi imicabango yakho izotholana kanjani. Ngabe uzwakala ungenangqondo noma ufana nesiqhwaga?
• Gcina umbhalo omfishane. Uma uthumela imiyalezo noma uthumela i-imeyili ukuxhumana kwakho, kugcine kukufushane, ngenhlonipho, futhi kuze kube seqophelweni. Setha imingcele nomzali wakho ngokubambisana nokuthi mangaki ama-imeyili noma imibhalo efanelekile ngosuku.
• Xhumana ngqo. Uma udlula kumlamuli ofana nosingamzali, ugogo noma umkhulu, ubeka engcupheni yokuthi izinto zingakhulumisani kahle. Ungenza futhi ukuthi umzali osebenza naye azizwe ekhishwa inyumbazane.

4. Lalelisisa

Enye ingxenye yezokuxhumana ilalele. Ukusiza umzali osebenza naye azizwe eqondwa futhi ezwiwa, cabanga ngalokhu okulandelayo:

• Shintshanani ngokukhuluma.
• Ungaphazamisi.
• Ngaphambi kokuthatha ithuba lakho lokukhuluma, phinda ngawakho amazwi okushiwo ngumzali wakho, bese ubuza ukuthi ngabe ukuqonde kahle yini. Uma kungenjalo, cela umzali osebenza naye ukuthi akusho kabusha.

5. Ukusekelana

Yazi ukuthi abazali abangcono kakhulu yilabo abasebenza ndawonye. Uma ubona omunye umzali enza into oyithandayo, mncome.Ukuqiniswa okuhle kuyisithako esiyinhloko ekukhuliseni ngokubambisana okuhle.

Ngokufanayo, landela imithetho evunyelwene ngayo. Uma ngabe uvumile ngesethi ebekelwe isikhathi, isikhathi sokulala, noma umkhawulo wesikhathi sesikrini ingane yakho okufanele iyilandele noma ngabe ikanye nomzali, namathela kuleyo mithetho lapho ingane yakho inawe.

6. Hlela amaholide namaholide

Amaholide namaholide angaba yisikhathi esikhohlisayo sabazali asebenza nabo, kepha ukuxhumana nokuhlela kungenza lezi zikhathi zibe lula. Nawa amanye amathiphu:

• Nikeza isaziso kusengaphambili ngangokunokwenzeka.
• Nikeza umzali osebenza naye imininingwane yokuxhumana nokuthi uzoba kuphi.
• Gcina izingane emisebenzini yazo ejwayelekile yeholide. Uma ngaphambi kokuhlukanisa uvame ukusebenzisa i-Thanksgiving nohlangothi lwakho lomndeni noKhisimusi nabalingani bakho, gcina inqubo efanayo. Futhi, ukungaguquguquki kuhle ezinganeni.
• Lapho ungakwazi ukwabelana ngamaholide, zama ukuwashintshanisa.
• Zama ukuthi ungahleleli iholide ngesikhathi lapho umzali osebenza naye enakekela izingane.

7. Ukuyekethisa

Akekho umzali obona iso neso, noma ngabe bendawonye noma bahlukene. Lapho ungavumelani ngodaba, zama ukuthola isixazululo ongahlala naso.

Isibonelo, uma ucabanga ukuthi kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ingane yakho iye ezinkonzweni zesonto lapho ikanye nomzali osebenza naye ongakholwa, bona ukuthi ingabe umzali wakho osebenza naye angakwazi yini ukushiya ingane enkonzweni bese eyolanda ngemuva kwalokho. Noma mhlawumbe ungavuma ukuthi umzali osebenza naye uzoletha ingane ezinsizakalweni ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Izinto ezi-6 okufanele sizigweme

Ukuze ube ngumzali ngokubambisana, gcina le mihlahlandlela eyisithupha engqondweni:

1. Ungakhulumi kabi ngomzali wakho osebenza naye ezinganeni zakho.
2. Ungaceli ingane yakho ukuthi ithathe uhlangothi.
3. Ungayigcini ingane yakho kumzali osebenza naye ngenxa yentukuthelo noma ukuhlaselwa. Ukuphela kwesizathu esisemthethweni sokugodla ingane ukuphepha kwayo.
4. Musa njengengane yakho ukuthi "inhloli" kumzali osebenza naye.
5. Ungahambisani nohlelo lokuba ngumzali okuvunyelwene ngalo.
6. Ungavumeli izithembiso ziwe.

Ungalakha kanjani uhlelo lokuba ngumzali

Ukubeka imithetho eyisisekelo nokubeka obala mayelana nokulindelwe kuzosiza ekuqinisekiseni ulwazi olushelelayo lobuzali.

Uma uhlelo oluthuthukisayo ekuqaleni lungasebenzi kahle, ungesabi ukusebenzisana nomzali wakho ukuze ulungise lapho kudingeka. Futhi khumbula ukuthi uhlelo olusebenza kahle lapho ingane yakho isencane lungadinga ukulungiswa njengoba ingane yakho ikhula.

Nawa amaphuzu okufanele ucatshangelwe lapho wenza uhlelo:

• Yazi ukuthi ingane yakho noma izingane zizoshintsha nini emakhaya, zizolandwa kuphi futhi nini, nokuthi hlobo luni lokuziphatha olulindeleke ekhaya ngalinye.
• Hlela nomzali wakho osebenza naye ukuthi izingane zakho zizokushayela ucingo noma zikuthumele umlayezo uma zinomzali osebenza naye. Uma bethanda, bese usetha isikhathi esithile.
• Qiniseka ukuthi wonke umuntu ucacile ngezindima zakhe zokunakekela izingane. Isibonelo, ungahle uthande ukwamukela yonke imithwalo yemfanelo lapho ingane yakho inawe. Noma, wena nomzali wakho ningase nifise ukuhlukanisa noma ngenye indlela nidlulisele imisebenzi ethile yansuku zonke, njengokuyisa izingane esikoleni, ukuziyisa emisebenzini yangaphandle, njll.
• Landela imizila efanayo ekhaya ngalinye. Isibonelo, umsebenzi wesikole ngo-5 ntambama nesikhathi sokulala ngo-8 ebusuku, noma cha ithelevishini ngobusuku besikole. Izingane zisebenza kangcono ngokuvumelana.
• Vumelana ngokuthi uzoyala kanjani nokuthi kanjani. Zibekeleni imithetho yasendlini, efana nesikhathi sokubekwa ekhaya nokuthi imiphi imisebenzi okumele yenziwe. Khombisa ingaphambili elihlanganisiwe lapho ubaphoqa.

Zilungiselele ukushintsha futhi ulungise uhlelo lwakho lobuzali njengoba izingane zakho zikhula ngeminyaka nezimo.

Ukusebenza nomelaphi

Funa usizo lochwepheshe uma ubona izimpawu zokucindezeleka enganeni yakho. Lezi zimpawu zingavela njenge:

• izinkinga zokulala noma ukudla
• imizwa yokudabuka noma yokudangala
• yehla emabangeni
• imood
• ukwesaba ukuba kude nomzali
• ukuziphatha okuphoqelela

Futhi thola usizo uma unengxabano nomzali wakho noma uzithola:

• ukuzizwa ucindezelekile noma ukhathazekile
• okwenza izingane zakho zibe yisithunywa sakho kanye nomzali wakho
• ukuthembela ezinganeni zakho ukuze zikusekele ngokomzwelo
• ukuphinda ukhulume kabi ngomzali wakho

Yiluphi uhlobo lokwelashwa olukhethayo oluzoncika ekutheni ingane yakho ineminyaka emingaki, kungani ufuna usizo lochwepheshe, kanye nobudlelwano bakho nomzali osebenza naye.

Ngemuva kokubonisana kokuqala nochwepheshe, kufanele ukwazi ukunciphisa kangcono izinketho zakho. Ungabuza abangani bakho, udokotela wakho, udokotela wezingane wengane yakho, noma uhlelo lwakho losizo lwabasebenzi ngezincomo zabelaphi.

Ukuzinakekela

Ukulahleka kobudlelwano nokuzulazula kwe-co-parenting yimpumelelo kungadala inani elikhulu lokucindezeleka. Zisize ubhekane nalezi zeluleko:

• Dabukisa ubudlelwano ngokukhuluma ngabo nabangani abasekelayo, umndeni, noma umelaphi - hhayi izingane zakho. Kungakusiza ukubhala imizwa yakho phansi.
• Ungazenzi umuntu noma uzisole ngokwahlukana.
• Sungula isimiso. Kuzokusiza uzizwe ukwazi ukulawula.
• Ziphathe ngokwakho ngento enhle lapho ukucindezela kuba nzima. Kungaba isixha sezimbali, ukubhucungwa, noma yini oyithandayo ebonakala ikhethekile.
• Yiba nomusa kuwe. Yamukela ukuthi ungahle wenze amaphutha, futhi lokho kulungile. Bathathe njengethuba lokufunda bese uqhubekela phambili.

Ukuthatha

Ukubambisana njengomzali kungaba yinselele, kepha ngamathuluzi afanele ungakwazi ukubambisana njengomzali ngempumelelo. Izikhiye zokuba ngumzali osebenzisanayo ukuxhumana okuhle ne-ex yakho kanye nohlelo olucacile, olucatshangelwe kahle lokuba ngumzali.

Njengakho konke ukuba ngumzali, noma ngabe kwenziwa njengeyunithi noma cha, ukugxila kufanele kube njalo kokulungele izingane zakho.