Izindlela ezi-3 Zobudlova Bokudla Komlingani Wakho Zingavela Kubudlelwano Bakho

-Delile

• 1. Izinkinga ezinesithombe somzimba ziyajula
• 2. Imisebenzi ehlobene nokudla ingaba nengcindezi
• 3. Ukuvula kungaba nzima
• Ukuxhumana okuvulelekile kuvumela umlingani wakho ukuthi abelane ngezinkinga zakhe, acele ukusekelwa, futhi aqinise ubudlelwano bakho

Futhi yini ongayenza noma ongayisho ukusiza.

Kokunye ukuhlangana kwami ​​kokuqala nomlingani wami wamanje, endaweni yokudlela yaseNdiya engasasebenzi eseFiladelfia, babeka imfoloko yabo, bangibheka kabi, base bebuza, “Ngingakusekela kanjani ekululameni kwesifo sakho?”

Yize bengicabanga ukuthi ngizoba nale ngxoxo nedlanzana lozakwethu eminyakeni edlule, ngokuzumayo ngingaqiniseki ukuthi ngithini. Akekho ebudlelwaneni bami bangaphambilini owayenze iphuzu lokungibuza lo mbuzo. Esikhundleni salokho, bekufanele ngiphoqe imininingwane yokuthi inkinga yami yokudla ingavela kanjani ebudlelwaneni bethu nalaba bantu.

Iqiniso lokuthi umlingani wami wayeqonda isidingo sale ngxoxo - futhi wathatha umthwalo wokuyiqala - kwakuyisipho engingakaze ngisinikezwe ngaphambili. Futhi bekubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho abantu abaningi abakubonayo.

Ocwaningweni lwango-2006 olwalubheka ukuthi abesifazane abane-anorexia nervosa babhekana kanjani nokusondelana ebudlelwaneni babo bezothando, laba besifazane bakhomba kozakwethu ukuqonda izinkinga zabo zokudla njengento ebalulekile ekuzizweni besondelene ngokomzwelo. Kodwa-ke, abalingani ngokuvamile abazi ukuthi ukuphazamiseka kokudla komlingani wabo kungabuthinta kanjani ubudlelwano babo bothando - noma nokuthi bangaziqala kanjani lezi zingxoxo.

Ukusiza, ngihlanganise izindlela ezintathu ezicashile okungenzeka ukuthi inkinga yokudla komlingani wakho ibonakale ebudlelwaneni bakho, nokuthi yini ongayenza ukusiza ukubasekela emzabalazweni wabo noma ekululameni kwabo.

1. Izinkinga ezinesithombe somzimba ziyajula

Uma kukhulunywa ngesithombe somzimba phakathi kwabantu abanenkinga yokudla, lezi zinkinga zingangena zijule. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi abantu abanenkinga yokudla, ikakhulukazi labo abangabesifazane, banamathuba amaningi kunabanye okuthola isithombe esibi somzimba.

Eqinisweni, isithombe somzimba esingesihle ngenye yezindlela zokuqala zokutholakala une-anorexia nervosa. Kuvame ukubizwa njengokuphazamiseka kwesithombe somzimba, lesi sipiliyoni singaba nemiphumela emibi eminingana kubantu abanezinkinga zokudla, kufaka phakathi ezocansi.

Kwabesifazane, isithombe somzimba esingesihle singangena konke izindawo zomsebenzi wezocansi nokwaneliseka - kusuka esifisweni nasekuvukeni kuya kwi-orgasm. Uma kukhulunywa ngokuthi lokhu kungavela kanjani ebudlelwaneni bakho, ungathola ukuthi umlingani wakho ugwema ukuya ocansini nezibani ezikhanyisiwe, uyekela ukukhumula ngesikhathi socansi, noma aze aphazamiseke ngenkathi okwamanje ngoba ecabanga ukuthi abukeka kanjani.

Ongakwenza Uma ungumlingani womuntu onenkinga yokudla, ukuqinisekiswa kwakho nokuqinisekiswa kokuheha kwakho kumlingani wakho kubalulekile - futhi kuyasiza. Vele uqiniseke ukuthi ukhumbula ukuthi kungahle kunganeli ukuxazulula inkinga ngokwakho. Khuthaza umlingani wakho ukuthi akhulume ngezinkinga zabo, bese uzama ukulalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi lokhu akuqondene nawe nothando lwakho - kumayelana nomlingani wakho kanye nokuphazamiseka kwabo.

2. Imisebenzi ehlobene nokudla ingaba nengcindezi

Izenzo eziningi zothando ezamukelwa ngokwesiko zifaka ukudla - ibhokisi lamashokolethi oSuku lukaValentine, ubusuku obubheke embukisweni wesifunda ukujabulela ukugibela noswidi kakotini, usuku lokudlela osezingeni eliphezulu. Kepha kubantu abanenkinga yokudla, ukuba khona nje kokudla kungadala ukwesaba. Ngisho nabantu abalulamayo bangadalwa lapho bezizwa bengalawulekile ngokuzungeze ukudla.

Lokho kungenxa yokuthi, ngokuphambene nenkolelo evamile, abantu ababi neze nokuphazamiseka kokudla ngenxa yobuncane njengezinga lobuhle.

Esikhundleni salokho, ukuphazamiseka kokudla kuyizifo eziyinkimbinkimbi ezinethonya lezinto eziphilayo, ezengqondo, kanye nezenhlalo, okuvame ukuhlobene nemizwa yokukhathazeka nokulawula. Eqinisweni, ukutholakala kokuphazamiseka kokudla nokukhathazeka ndawonye kuvame kakhulu.

Ngokusho kweNational Eating Disorders Association, izinkinga zokukhathazeka zenzeka ngamaphesenti angama-48 kuya kwangu-51 abantu abane-anorexia nervosa, amaphesenti angama-54 kuya kwangu-81 abantu abane-bulimia amanosa, namaphesenti angama-55 kuya kwangama-65 abantu abanenkinga yokudla ngokweqile.

Ongakwenza Imisebenzi ehlobene nokudla ingakhuphula ukucindezeleka kubantu abanezinkinga zokudla, futhi ngenxa yalokhu, kungcono ukugwema lezi ziphathi njengezimanga. Noma ngabe umuntu manje unenkinga yokudla njengamanje, noma usalulama, angadinga isikhathi sokuzilungiselela ukwenza imisebenzi ehilela ukudla. Ngena nomlingani wakho ngezidingo zakhe ezithile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, qiniseka ukuthi ukudla akukaze kuhlume kubo - noma ngabe zimnandi kangakanani izinhloso zakho zekhekhe lokuzalwa.

3. Ukuvula kungaba nzima

Ukutshela umuntu ukuthi une - noma uke waba - nenkinga yokudla akulula neze. Inhlamba yezempilo yengqondo ikuyo yonke indawo, futhi kunemibono eyeqisayo mayelana nokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla. Kubhangqwe neqiniso lokuthi abantu abanenkinga yokudla kaningi nokuthi abesifazane abanenkinga yokudla bakhombisa amathuba aphezulu okuhlangenwe nakho okungahambi kahle kobudlelwano, ukuba nezingxoxo ezisondelene mayelana nenkinga yokudla komlingani wakho kungahle kube yinkohliso.

Kepha ukudala isikhala somlingani wakho ukuthi akhulume nawe mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kumqoka ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuhle nabo.

Eqinisweni, ucwaningo luye lwathola ukuthi, lapho kubhekwa ukuthi abesifazane abane-anorexia nervosa bazichaza kanjani izidingo zabo ngokusondelana, izinkinga zabo zokudla zabamba iqhaza ezingeni lokusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba ababezizwa ebuhlotsheni babo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukukwazi ukuxoxa ngokukhululekile ngamava abo enkinga yokudla nabalingani babo kwakuyindlela eyodwa yokwakha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni babo.

Ongakwenza Ukutholakalela ukuxoxa ngesifo esidl 'umlingani wakho ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka, nangokubonisa intshisekelo, kungabasiza bazizwe bephephile futhi beqotho ebudlelwaneni. Mane ukhumbule ukuthi awudingeki ukuthi wazi impendulo enhle ekwabelaneni kwabo. Kwesinye isikhathi ukulalela nokunikela ukwesekwa kwanele.

Ukuxhumana okuvulelekile kuvumela umlingani wakho ukuthi abelane ngezinkinga zakhe, acele ukusekelwa, futhi aqinise ubudlelwano bakho

Ukujola nomuntu onenkinga yokudla akufani nokuphola nomuntu onesifo esingelapheki noma okhubazekile - kuza nezinselelo zayo ezihlukile. Kukhona, nokho, izixazululo kulezo zinselelo, eziningi zazo ezixhomeke ekuxhumaneni ngokukhululekile nomlingani wakho ngezidingo zabo. Ukuxhumana okuphephile, okuvulelekile njalo kuyitshe legumbi lobudlelwano obujabulisayo nobunempilo. Ivumela umlingani wakho ukuthi abelane ngezinkinga zakhe, acele ukwesekwa, ngakho-ke aqinise ubudlelwano bebonke. Ukunikeza umlingani wakho ngenkinga yokudla isikhala sokwenza lokho okuhlangenwe nakho kube yingxenye yokuxhumana kwakho kungabasiza ohambweni lwabo kuphela.

UMelissa A. Fabello, PhD, unguthisha wobufazi umsebenzi wakhe ugxile kwezombusazwe zomzimba, isiko lobuhle, nokuphazamiseka kokudla. Mlandele ku-Twitter naku-Instagram.