Ukukhula Ngokomzwelo: Kubukeka Kanjani

-Delile

• Kuyini ngempela?
• Yiziphi izici ezibalulekile?
• Ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo
• Ekhombisa uzwela
• Ukuba namaphutha
• Ukungasabi ubungozi
• Ukuqaphela nokwamukela izidingo
• Ukubeka imingcele enempilo
• Ngabe ubudala buhlobene yini nayo?
• Ingabe ikhona indlela yokuhlola ukukhula kwakho ngokomzwelo?
• Uphendule kanjani esimeni esisanda kucindezela?
• Ubhekane kanjani noshintsho olungalindelekile?
• Ngabe uvame ukusuthiswa yiwo wonke umuntu nakho konke?
• Lapho izinto zingahambi kahle, ingabe uvame ukubeka icala kuwe noma kwabanye?
• Ngingakusebenzela kanjani ukukhula kwami ​​ngokomzwelo?
• Funda ukubona imizwa yakho
• Dedela amahloni
• Beka imingcele enempilo
• Thatha ubunikazi beqiniso lakho
• Bheka abanye ngentshisekelo
• Landela ukuhola komunye umuntu
• Okubalulekile

Kuyini ngempela?

Uma sicabanga ngomuntu ovuthiwe ngokomzwelo, ngokujwayelekile sithwebula umuntu oqonda kahle ukuthi ungubani.

Ngisho noma bengenazo zonke izimpendulo, umuntu ovuthiwe ngokomzwelo unikeza umuzwa "wokuzola phakathi kwesiphepho." Yibo esibheke kubo uma sidlula esikhathini esinzima ngoba benza kahle ngaphansi kwengcindezi.

Ngamanye amagama, ukukhula ngokomzwelo kulapho umuntu ekwazi ukulawula imizwa yakhe noma ngabe zinjani izimo zakhe.

Bayazi ukuthi kufanele baphendule kanjani ezimweni ezinzima futhi baqhubeke bepholile. Kuyisethi yamakhono abangasebenza ngokungaguquguquki ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Nakhu ukubheka izici ezibalulekile nezinto esingazenza ukuthuthukisa ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo.

Yiziphi izici ezibalulekile?

Ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo

Abantu abanokuvuthwa ngokomzwelo bayalazi ilungelo labo emhlabeni futhi bazozama ukuthatha izinyathelo zokuguqula indlela abaziphatha ngayo.

Lokhu kusho ukuthi awusoli abanye (noma wena uqobo) lapho okuthile kungahambi kahle.

Unomoya wokuthobeka - esikhundleni sokukhononda ngezimo zakho, uba nesenzo. Ungabuza, "Yini engingayenza ukuthuthukisa lesi simo?"

Ekhombisa uzwela

Abantu abavuthiwe ngokomzwelo basondela empilweni ngokwenza okuhle ngangokunokwenzeka futhi basekele labo ababazungezile.

Uyazi ukuthi ungazifaka kanjani ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu. Okusho ukuthi, uvame ukubakhathalela kakhulu abanye bese uzama ukuthola izindlela zokusiza.

Ukuba namaphutha

Uyakwazi ukuxolisa uma wenze iphutha. Akunazaba. Uzovuma amaphutha akho bese uzama ukuthola izindlela zokulungisa isimo.

Futhi awunaso isifiso sokulunga ngaso sonke isikhathi. Esikhundleni salokho, uzovuma ukuthi awunazo "zonke izimpendulo."

Ukungasabi ubungozi

Uhlala uzimisele ukuvula futhi wabelane ngezingqinamba zakho ukuze abanye bazizwe bengekho bodwa.

Awunantshisekelo yokuthi ubonakale "uphelele" ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Ukukhula ngokomzwelo kusho ukwethembeka ngemizwa yakho nokwakha ukwethembana nalabo abaseduze kwakho ngoba awunayo i-ajenda.

Ukuqaphela nokwamukela izidingo

Labo abavuthiwe ngokomzwelo bangavuma lapho bedinga usizo noma lapho bephela amandla. Isibonelo, uzovuma lapho udinga ikhefu futhi wazi ukuthi uzocela nini umphathi wakho usuku lokuphumula.

Futhi uyakwazi ukuxhumana ngokusobala nomlingani wakho ngosizo oluthe xaxa endlini.

Ukubeka imingcele enempilo

Ukubeka imingcele enempilo kuyindlela yokuzithanda nokuhlonipha. Uyazi ukuthi uwuchaze kanjani futhi nini umugqa futhi ngeke uvumele abanye ukuthi baweqe.

Uma osebenza naye ekululaza noma ekubeka phansi, ngeke uyimele futhi uzovumela izwi lakho lizwakale.

Ngabe ubudala buhlobene yini nayo?

Ngamafuphi: yebo no cha. Ziningi izinto ezingaba nomthelela ezingeni lokuvuthwa komuntu. Ukuvezwa kuhlu olubanzi lokuhlangenwe nakho usemncane yisibonelo esisodwa.

Omunye uthole ukuthi ukubhema ugwayi nokuphuza utshwala nakho kungadlala indima enkulu ebuchosheni obukhulayo bentsha, ekugcineni kuthinte indlela abakhula ngayo.

Izingxenye ezibucayi zobuchopho njenge-prefrontal cortex - esiza ukunqanda ukusebenza kokuthatha ubungozi - zingakhuli ngokugcwele kuze kube seminyakeni engama-25.Lokhu kungabika ukuthi kungani imizwa eminingi yentsha ivame ukubonakala ingaqondakali.

Noma kunjalo, izinga lomuntu lokuvuthwa lihlobene kakhulu nokuhlakanipha kwakhe okungokomzwelo - noma indlela abakhetha ngayo ukuphendula esimweni esiyinselele - kuneminyaka yabo.

Ngisho nabantu abadala ngokugcwele bangaba nezinga eliphansi lokuvuthwa. Yingakho ungahlangana nomuntu osemncane kakhulu obonakala ehlakaniphile kuneminyaka yabo.

Ingabe ikhona indlela yokuhlola ukukhula kwakho ngokomzwelo?

Kunamathani amaningi wokuhlolwa oku-inthanethi nemibuzo yokusiza ukunquma izinga lakho lokuvuthwa. Eziningi zalezi zinhloso zokuzijabulisa futhi azithembekile emtholampilo noma azivumelekile.

Ungaqala futhi ngokuzibuza imibuzo eyisisekelo ukuthola umuzwa wokuthi ukuphi.

Uphendule kanjani esimeni esisanda kucindezela?

Uma ungaphansi komnqamulajuqu ozayo emsebenzini, usiveze kanjani isidingo sakho sekhefu? Ngabe uke wabamba umuntu osebenza naye noma wavuthela umusi ejimini kamuva kusihlwa?

Ukucasukela abanye nokuhluleka ukwamukela izidingo zethu kuwuphawu lokuthi kungadingeka ukuthi ukhulele ekuvuthweni.

Ubhekane kanjani noshintsho olungalindelekile?

Lapho i-BFF yakho ibika iphromoshini entsha noma ukuthi sebethembisene umshado, usabele kanjani?

Ngabe ubabafisele okuhle wabuza ukuthi ungabasiza kanjani bagubhe, noma uhoxile futhi ubacasukele ngokwabelana ngemininingwane?

Abantu abanokuvuthwa ngokomzwelo bayakwazi ukuveza injabulo yabo kwabanye ngisho naphakathi noshintsho oluzumayo.

Ngabe uvame ukusuthiswa yiwo wonke umuntu nakho konke?

Uma ungakakhuli ngokwanele, umhlaba ugcwele ukucasulwa okuncane, futhi awazi amalungelo akho. Cabanga ukuthi kukangaki ngosuku ukhononda ngabanye noma ngezimo ezihlukile.

Ingabe ukhombisa ukubonga noma uhlale ubambelele ekuvuseleleni konke okungahambanga kahle? Uyabona ukuthi abanye bangaba kanjani nokubi kakhulu?

Lapho izinto zingahambi kahle, ingabe uvame ukubeka icala kuwe noma kwabanye?

Yize kungaphezu kokujwayelekile ukuba nesikhathi senkalankala ngezikhathi ezithile, uma ubanjwe ukuzibeka icala noma ukuthola amaphutha kuwo wonke umuntu okuzungezile, kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi ungama ukusebenzela ukuvuthwa kwakho.

Ukufunda ukubona isimo ngokuzizwela kanye nokuqonda - lapho kungekho lutho olumnyama noma olumhlophe - kungakusiza ukuthi ugweme ukuwela kumdlalo wokusola.

Ngingakusebenzela kanjani ukukhula kwami ​​ngokomzwelo?

Funda ukubona imizwa yakho

Ukubona indlela ozizwa ngayo - noma ngabe ukudabuka, intukuthelo, noma amahloni - kungakusiza uqonde ukuthi kungani usabela ngendlela oyiyona.

Njengokuzivocavoca, zama ukubhala phansi inani lezikhathi okhathazwe ngazo abanye kumagazini isonto lonke. Yibe usuzama ukuthola umuzwa ocashile.

Lokhu kukunikeza ukuqonda okwengeziwe kokuthi ungaphendula kanjani esimweni nokuthi yiziphi izidingo zakho.

Dedela amahloni

Ukuqaphela lapho sizizwa kabi ngathi kungasinika i-ejensi yokwenza ushintsho.

Ngokuyeka amahloni, ukhululekile ukuphatha impilo yakho futhi uphile ngokuthanda kwakho kunokulindela kwabanye abantu.

Beka imingcele enempilo

Ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo kusho ukungavumeli noma ngubani awele imingcele yakho.

Uma uhlala uku-hang out nomuntu ofuna isikhathi sakho, ngokwesibonelo, ukubeka umngcele kukhombisa ukuthi ngeke kwehlise ukuzihlonipha kwakho.

Awuqinisekile ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani lokhu? Bheka umhlahlandlela wethu ekuvikeleni isikhala sakho esingokomzwelo.

Thatha ubunikazi beqiniso lakho

Bheka impilo yakho bese uziphendulela ngokuphelele kokuhle nokubi. Ukusebenzisa lolu hlobo lobunikazi kungakusiza ulawule ukukhetha kwakho.

Ukufunda ukubona lapho wenze iphutha kukunika ukuqonda kokukuvimbela ukuthi kungenzeki futhi ngokuzayo, kanye nokwenza ezinye izinqumo ezingalungile ukuya phambili.

Bheka abanye ngentshisekelo

Esikhundleni sokuphendula lapho othile eba nodlame, zama ukubonisa ukubekezela nokuqonda ukuthi bavelaphi.

Yiba nesifiso sokwazi indlela osebenza ngayo kwabanye futhi ugweme ukwahlulela ukuziphatha kwabo. Esikhundleni sokumane usheshe ukhulume amazwi ahlaselayo, ungahle unqume ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokusuka ebunganeni obungenampilo.

Landela ukuhola komunye umuntu

Ukuthola umuntu oyisibonelo ongaqiniseka ngaye kungasiza kakhulu ekuthuthukiseni izinga lokukhula ngokomzwelo.

Lapho sibona umuntu esimthandayo esingatha ukubuyela emuva ngokushelela, sinamathuba amaningi okuthi silingise indlela aziphatha ngayo.

Zisivumela ukuthi sibone ukuthi kunendlela engcono yokulawula imizwa yethu nokuthi singaphendula kanjani ezenzakalweni ezicindezelayo.

Okubalulekile

Ukuzazi thina uqobo lwethu kanye nokufaneleka kwabanye yikho okusisizayo ukuthi siphile impilo ejabulisayo nenelisa kakhulu.

Ukuxolisa kwabasizungezile, ukuvuma lapho sidinga usizo, nokufuna ukwesekwa kuyizindlela zokuthuthukisa ukukhula kwethu.

Lapho sizimisele ngokwengeziwe ukuphatha indlela esiziphatha ngayo, kulapho sithola ukuxhumana futhi okwangempela kuyiqiniso.

Ngamafuphi, ukuvuthwa kuyinketho sonke esingayenza kancane kancane, usuku nosuku.

UCindy Lamothe yintatheli ezimele ezinze eGuatemala. Ubhala kaningi ngemiphambanandlela phakathi kwezempilo, inhlalakahle, nesayensi yokuziphatha komuntu. Ubhalelwe i-The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, nezinye eziningi. Mthole ku-cindylamothe.com.