Umhlahlandlela Wangaphakathi Wokulala Nomunye Umuntu Owesifazane Okokuqala

-Delile

• Fi(n)ger It Out
• Ithathe eNingizimu
• Vala Ibhande, Vala Ibhande
• Faka i-Butt (Uma Ufuna!)
• Isilingo
• Dlala Kuphephile
• Ungakucabangi Ngokweqile
• Izinyathelo Ezilandelayo
• Buyekeza kwe-

Yini "ebalwayo" njengokuya ocansini nomunye umuntu wesifazane? Lona ngumbuzo ojwayelekile engiwutholayo lapho abantu bethola ukuthi ngilala nabanye abantu abanezitho zangasese. Kuyangena kancane futhi kuyadelela, impela-kodwa ngiyakuthola. Siphila emphakathini ohlanganisa ucansi njengesimo se- "P-in-V".

Akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi kungenzeka ngamaphesenti angu-100 ukuya ocansini owanelisayo nomunye wesifazane noma umnikazi we-vulva, kodwa futhi kunezindlela ezingaphezu kweyodwa zokulala nomunye wesifazane. "Kukubantu abahlanganyela esenzweni socansi ukuthi banqume ukuthi ubulili noma cha. Kwabanye, kungase kube ubulili bomlomo, kwabanye kungase kube ukushaya indlwabu," kuchaza isazi sezocansi sasemtholampilo uMegan Stubbs, Ed.D. "Awekho amabhokisi adinga ukubhekelwa okuthile okuzokwenza ucansi. Kodwa kunamabhokisi amaningi kakhulu ongakhetha kuwo!"

Futhi makwaziwe ukuthi, yize "ucansi lwezithandani" luchaza ngokusobala ucansi phakathi kwabesifazane ababili noma abantu abanezitho zangasese, awudingi ukukhomba njengongungqingili ukujabulela ubulili besifazane nabesifazane. Mhlawumbe ungabesilisa nabesifazane, mhlawumbe ungowesilisa ocansini, noma mhlawumbe ulandela nje i-vibe ezwa kahle. (FYI: Ucwaningo lwango-2016 lwabonisa ukuthi abesifazane abaningi babelala nabesifazane kunangaphambili.)

Unalokho engqondweni, lo mhlahlandlela uthinta ezinye zezenzo zocansi ezivame kakhulu phakathi kwabantu ababili abanezitho zangasese. Skrolela ezansi ukuze ufunde ukuthi yini okudingeka uyazi ngokuya ocansini okokuqala ngqangi nokuthi ungakwenza kanjani ngokuphepha.

Fi(n)ger It Out

Njengazo zonke izinto kwezocansi, wonke umuntu wehlukile. Abanye abantu bazofuna ama-flick anzima futhi asheshayo ngqo kwi-clitoris, kuyilapho abanye bekhetha ukugcotshwa izindebe zangaphandle noma i-G-spot. Kungakho, noma ngabe lokhu kungukuhlangana kwakho kokuqala nomunye umuntu wesitho sangasese sowesifazane noma sangasese sakho noma ngowama-2000, kufanele ungene kukho ngomqondo wabaqalayo. Buza imibuzo! Ngena! Naka ukuthi umlingani wakho usabela kanjani ekuthinteni kwakho futhi ulungise ukucindezela kwakho nendlela yakho ngokufanele.

Uma (futhi kuphela uma) umlingani wakho ekhombisa ukuthi ufuna ukungenwa, ungesabi ukufaka izandla zakho lapho. Futhi ngezandla, ngisho eyodwa umunwe. Qala kancane. Slayida umunwe owodwa (mhlawumbe emibili) esisitsheni sakhe kuze kube yilapho usugcotshiwe, bese uslayida ngaphakathi kancane, bese ngokushesha. Shintsha phakathi kwezigqi ezimbili bese umbuza ukuthi uthanda ini. "Ungavumeli i-ego yakho ihlukumezeke uma umlingani wakho ethi akasithandi isigqi sakho," kusho uStubbs. "Vele uzame enye into." Uma ungumfundi obonwayo, ungabacela ukuthi bakukhombise ukuthi bathanda kanjani ukushaya indlwabu. (Okuhlobene: Amathiphu okushaya indlwabu ngeSolo Sesh Sengqondo Esishaya Ingqondo)

Mhlawumbe uzwile-noma wazi ngokuhlangenwe nakho-ukuthi indawo ye-G ingaba mnandi ngokumangalisayo kwabanye besifazane. Isakhamuzi socansi u-Logan Levkoff Ph.D. kushiwo ngaphambili Umumo ukuthi i-G-Spot ingama-intshi amabili odongeni olungaphambili lwesitho sangasese sowesifazane; uzozwa indawo lapho isikhumba siguquka sisuka kubushelelezi siye kubhampa noma isiponji. Uma uzwa lokhu kumlingani wakho, qhubeka wenze ukuthinta "woza lapha". Bona ukuthi umlingani wakho uphendula kanjani.

PSA: Sika izinzipho zakho. Izintandokazi zawo wonke umuntu ngezinzipho zakhe zihlukile, kepha uma uzongena ngamadijithi umuntu onesitho sangasese sowesifazane, kukhethwa izinzipho ezibushelelezi, ezingenadwala nezinzipho ezimfushane. Isitho sangasese sangasese nesitho sangasese siyazwela futhi akukho lutho olonakalisa imizwa efana nokuklwebheka. Hhawu.

Ithathe eNingizimu

Kwabesifazane abaningi, ingxenye enzima kakhulu yokulala nomunye wesifazane ubulili bomlomo. Izindaba ezinhle: "Akuyona inkimbinkimbi ngempela," kusho u-Jess Melendez, ofundisa ngocansi e-O.school. "Inembile kakhulu kunendlela ongacabanga ngayo, futhi ukuxhumana kuyasiza."

Ukubheja kwakho okuhle ukuqala kancane. Kiss indlela yakho eza eningizimu. Mqabule futhi ukhothe amathanga, amahips, yonke indawo. Lapho umlingani wakho esekulungele (ongakuthola ngokubuza ukuthi, "Ngingakunambitha manje?" Noma "Ufuna ini?"), Usebenzisa ulimi noma iminwe yakho ungahlukanisa amalebe angaphandle. Ngokuya ngesimo somlingani wakho, lokhu kungakusiza ukuthi uthole i-clit yabo. (Okuhlobene: Nakhu ukuthi ungakhuluma kanjani ungcolile ngaphandle kokuzwa u-awk)

Ulungile? Khotha indlela yakho phezulu nangaphansi kwama-labia."Ekuqaleni, gwema ukuthintana ngqo ne-clit ngoba kungenzeka ukuthi izwela kakhulu, futhi esikhundleni salokho ikhothe nxazonke," kuphakamisa uStubbs.

Manje, zijabuliseni. Shintsha ingcindezi. Pela igama lakho ngesithuko ngolimi lwakho (kakhulu, kuyasebenza). Hambisa ulimi lwakho kumbuthano. Bese uyihambisa ohlangothini uye phezulu noma phansi. Njengoba uzama, naka ukuthi umlingani wakho wenza kanjani. Futhi ubabuze ukuthi yini abayithandayo. "Uncamela lokhu noma lokhu?" noma "Fast noma kancane?" Uma iqala ukuzwakala kahle, uzokwazi.

Vala Ibhande, Vala Ibhande

Akuwona wonke ucansi oluwucansi olungenelayo, futhi ukwethula ibhande ekudlaleni kwakho kulungile hhayi kumele. Eqinisweni, "akubona bonke abanikazi bezitho zobulili abajabulela ukuya ocansini okungena ngaphakathi noma abazozizwa bekhululekile ukuzama ukubopha ibhande," kusho uMelendez. "Kanti kulungile! Yingakho kumele nixoxisane ngokukhululekile nozakwenu."

Uma nobabili nifuna ukuzama ukulala ocansini ngentambo, kuzothatha ukubona kancane ngoba uzodinga i-harness ne-dildo (ne-lube!) Esandleni. Uma kwenzeka ungakayi ukuyothenga i-dildo: Njengama-vibrator, eza ngazo zonke izinhlobo nobukhulu obuhlukile. Amanye ama-super phallic futhi anemithambo futhi anethoni yesikhumba kanti amanye akhazimula noma uthingo futhi awukhumbuli kangako ipipi. (Okuningi lapha: Amathoyizi Ocansi Ahamba Phambili Abesifazane Ku-Amazon)

"Qala nge-silicone dildo (ngokungafani nengilazi) ngoba izohamba nomzimba wakho," kuncoma uMelendez. "Uma ukwazi, iya esitolo socansi ngoba izitolo eziningi zizokuvumela uzithinte futhi uzizwe ngaphambi kokuzithenga." Futhi qala kancane. Ungavumeli amehlo akho abe makhulu kune, kahle, isitho sakho sangasese. "Gxila esinqeni bese ucabanga ukuthi uthanda ukuthanda ukugcwala, noma uthanda ukuqina," uphakamisa.

Kukhona nazo zonke izinhlobo zamahhanisi. "Ngehhanisi lakho lokuqala, ngincoma elishintshekayo nokuthi izinhlobo eziningi zomzimba ezingazisebenzisa," kusho uMelendez. (Isibonelo, ungathola ukufakwa okwengeziwe ngehhanisi lesitayela sesibhakela, kodwa ungase ukuthole unokulawula okwengeziwe uma usebenzisa ihhanisi lesitayela sebhande.)

Unemishini yakho. Manje? Uma kunguwena ofake i-harness noma umuntu ongena ngaphakathi, uStubbs unikeza lesi seluleko esilandelayo: "Zijwayeze ukwenza okuthile ngaphambi kwesikhathi. Akudingeki kube yisilima. Vele ujwayele umuzwa, isisindo. Mhlawumbe zama ukushaya indlwabu ngayo."

Futhi: Iya kancane, sebenzisa i-lube, bese unika umlingani wakho isikhathi sokukujwayela. "Zimisele ukuma ulungise uma umlingani wakho ekhombisa ukuthi abajabule noma akhulume ngezidingo ezihlukile," kusho uStubbs. (Nansi: Konke Odinga Ukukwazi NgeLube).

Uma unguzakwethu ongena, nikeza impendulo. "Ungesabi ukusho amagama ngesikhathi socansi. Xhumana nesithandwa sakho. Ingabe kumnandi? Uthanda ukujula? I-angle?" Kusho uStubbs.

Isikhathi sakho sokuqala ukuya ocansini wesifazane onebhande kungase kube into engcono kakhulu emhlabeni. Kepha futhi kungazizwa kuxakile futhi kungahambi kahle (njengawo wonke ucansi lokuqala, abathandana nobulili obufanayo noma cha). Kuvamile lokho; kukhona ijika lokufunda.

Faka i-Butt (Uma Ufuna!)

Yebo, i-butt ilungele (ahem) ukubanjwa futhi. Ukudlala indunu akuyona into wonke umuntu abe nesipiliyoni ngayo noma afuna ukuzitika ngayo, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa ukuthi umlingani wakho ukhona ngaphambi kokungena, kusho u-Alicia Sinclair Sex Educator & CEO we-b-Vibe.

"Zama ukugcona izihlathi zomlingani wakho bese uqhekeze kuqala ubeke izandla zakho phezu kwakhe futhi ubavumele bancike endaweni entsha yokuzijabulisa kanye nezindawo ezivusa amadlingozi kanye nendlela yokuvuselela," kusho uSinclair. "Njenge-vulva, kunamathani wezinzwa ezibucayi ngaphandle komzimba." (Funda lokhu uma usazibuza ukuthi ucansi lwendunu lubuhlungu yini.)

Uma umlingani wakho ethanda ukuzwa kweminwe yakho, ungababuza ukuthi bangathanda ukuzwa ulimi lwakho, noma basebenzise i-butt butt. "Ukuncipha, ukuqabula, noma ukuthinta indunu, kungazizwa kumnandi ngempela," kusho uSinclair. Zama ukunyakazisa umunwe wakho noma ulimi ngezindlela ezahlukene kanye nesigqi (ukushaya, isiyingi, njll) bese ubuza umlingani wakho ukuthi yini ezizwa kahle. (Okuhlobene: Amaqiniso ayi-12 ocansi lwendunu avela ku-An Insider)

Ekugcineni, wena nozakwethu ningase nithole iziqu ekusebenziseni i-butt-plug (intandokazi ka-Sinclair i-Novice Plug) kodwa kulungile uma ungafiki lapho okokuqala ngqa nilala ndawonye (noma njalo).

Isilingo

Lokhu okungenhla akuzona kuphela izinto wena nomlingani wakho eningazenza. Ungase uzame ukwenza isikwele, uku-humping okomile, ukudlala ingono, ukushaywa kanye ne-BDSM, ukubhucunga inkanuko, ukushaya inqindi, noma ukushaya indlwabu eduze komunye nomunye. "Kunezinhlobo eziningi zokudlala," kusho uMelendez.

"Yenza okuzwakala kulungile, ungenzi okungazizwa kahle," kuncoma uchwepheshe we-LGBTQ + kanye nosonhlalakahle uKryss Shane, uL.M.S.W. Kungaba lula ukubuza ukuthi ngabe "kufanele" ngabe wenza okuthile okokuqala uma uya ocansini nomunye umuntu wesifazane, noma ngabe okuthile "okubalulekile" njengokuya ocansini noma cha, kepha lokhu kungakususa ngaphandle komzuzwana futhi kukufake engqondweni yakho , okungase kukuphuce (kanye nozakwenu!) injabulo yocansi.

"Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuthi ube khona futhi uvulekele ngokwenzekayo ukuze uhlole izingoma ezintsha kanye nalo muntu," kusho uShane.

Dlala Kuphephile

Kunombono oyiphutha wokuthi ucansi nomunye wesifazane wucansi oluphephile. "Wena ngokuphelele can uthole i-STI ngokulala nomunye wesifazane. Ungathola i-STI ngokulala nanoma ngubani, "kusho uStubbs." Noma kunini lapho kushintshaniswa uketshezi lomzimba noma ukuthintana kwesikhumba kuya kwesikhumba, kunengozi yokutheleleka. "

Kungakho-njengokuthi uma ulala nabantu ngaphandle ukwenza ucansi oluphephile kubalulekile. "Ukukhuluma ngesimo se-STI nokuhlolwa kuzoba nomthelela esinqumweni sakho sokusebenzisa idamu lamazinyo noma ikhondomu, ngakho-ke ngincoma ukuba naleyo ngxoxo ngaphambi kwesikhathi," kusho uMelendez. Imisho efana nokuthi "Uhlolwe yini muva nje?" noma "Uhlolwe ngemuva komlingani wakho wokugcina?" ziyindlela enhle yokungena kuleyo ngxoxo, uthi.

Izifo ezithathelwana ngocansi eziningi njenge-herpes, HPV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, kanye nogcunsula zingasakazwa ngocansi lomlomo, ngakho-ke uma wehlela kumlingani wakho, sebenzisa idamu lamazinyo (isiqephu esincane se-latex esisetshenziselwa ukudala umgoqo wokuya ocansini oluphephile ngesikhathi socansi. ngomlomo), kuphakamisa uStubbs. Zilula ngokwanele ukuzisebenzisa: Uzibamba nje endaweni ezokhotwa. Kukhona nezintambo zamadamu wamazinyo - ezenzelwe ukubamba amadamu amazinyo ngaphambili noma emuva ukuze kudlalwe ngomlomo noma nge-butt - uma ungathanda ukuba nezandla zombili mahhala. Iseluleko: "Gcoba uhlangothi olulodwa lwedamu lamazinyo, ngokufaka i-lube esithweni sangasese bese ubeka idamu phezu kwesitho sangasese ukuze lingazizwa lomile futhi linamanzi emzimbeni wakho," kusho uMelendez. (Okuhlobene: Konke Okufanele Ukwazi Ngocansi Lomlomo kanye Nezifo Ezithathelwana Ngocansi Kodwa Mhlawumbe Ungakwenzi)

Uma usebenzisa futhi wabelana ngamathoyizi afana nesidlidlizi noma u-dildo-Melendez uncoma ukuwashwa ngokuphelele ithoyizi locansi phakathi kokusebenzisa noma ukusebenzisa ikhondomu entsha kumlingani ngamunye. “Uma ingquza ibingaphakathi kuwe futhi une-infection, ngabe sengifaka ididi ngaphakathi kimina, ngingalithola igciwane lakho,” kuchaza yena.

Ungakucabangi Ngokweqile

Uma ngabe uke wenza ucansi lwe-P-in-V noma ungakaze wenze ucansi ngaphambili, ungazizwa udidekile ngokuthi kusho ukuthini ukuqala ngokocansi kwabantu abathandana nabesilisa nabesifazane. "Akumele kusho lutho ngobuwena!," kusho uStubbs. "Uma ukwenze kanye, kabili, kahlanu, noma njalo ngosuku olulodwa usengakwazi ukubona ukuthi ufuna kanjani."

UMelendez uyavuma: "Isimo sakho sobulili sisondelene nabantu ofuna ukuzibandakanya nabo hhayi uhlobo locansi onalo. Nguwe kuphela onganquma ukuthi ungubani." (Okuhlobene: Kusho Ukuthini Ngempela Ukuba Uketshezi Lobulili noma Okungeyona Kanambambili)

Ehlangothini le-flip, njengo-Erica Hahn kusuka I-Anatomy yeGrey ngine- a-ha! umzuzwana ngemuva kokuqala ukulala noCallie, kungenzeka uzozwa okuthile ~ chofoza ~. Futhi lokho kulungile. (Uma kwenzeka, nansi isincomo sami: Yiya ekubukeleni ngokweqile IZwi L. Wamukelekile).

Izinyathelo Ezilandelayo

Khumbula: Lo mhlahlandlela wamathiphu ocansi ngokobulili okokuqala uyisiqalo esihle, kepha akekho ongakutshela ngomzimba womlingani wakho nokuthi yini abayithokozela kangcono kunaleyo umlingani wakho angayenza. Futhi, ohlangothini lwe-flip, uyazi injabulo yakho kangcono kakhulu. Ngakho-ke ukubheja kwakho okuhle ukuxhumana. (Konke lokhu kuya ocansini nomuntu wanoma yiluphi ucansi, ubulili, noma ukuma.)

Futhi uma ungakwazi ukuyisiza, ungayijuluki. Lapho ungakhathazeki kakhulu, maningi amathuba okuthi uzijabulise. Jabulela ucansi olushisayo, olujabulisayo nolunempilo.

Buyekeza kwe-