Izeluleko ze-13 zokushaya indlwabu ngeSession Solo Eshaya Ingqondo

-Delile

• 1. Yifake ngepensela.
• 2. De-stress ngaphambili.
• 3. Thatha uhlolo.
• 4. Craft usuku ngokwakho.
• 5. Lube phezulu.
• 6. Tshala imali kudlidliza.
• 7. Gxila ezinhlotsheni ezincane zenjabulo.
• 8. Yenza amaphupho akho angcolise.
• 9. Hlola ubuciko bezocansi.
• 10. Qaphela umzimba wakho wonke.
• 11. Yehlisa ijubane.
• 12. Shintsha indlela yakho.
• 13. Phefumula.
• Buyekeza kwe-

Kulungile, kungenzeka ukuthi uke wazithinta phambilini, noma ngabe ushaweni nje ngesikhathi sokuhlola kwentsha. Sekushiwo lokho, abantu abaningi abazalwa benesimo sangasese abakwazi ngempela ukushaya indlwabu, ingasaphathwa eyokufinyelela u-O ogcwele bebodwa.

Futhi-ke, ingxenye yesizathu luhlobo lokucasula. "Umphakathi ufundisa abesifazane ukuthi injabulo yakhe ibaluleke kuphela esimeni sokunikeza umuntu wesilisa ubumnandi - futhi lokhu akulona iqiniso. Ukuzithokozisa kungenye yezinto ezinikeza amandla futhi ezinamandla kakhulu owesifazane angazenza kulo mhlaba," kusho URena McDaniel, M.Ed., udokotela wezocansi waseChicago.

Ukufunda indlela yokushaya indlwabu kungakhuphula ukuzethemba kwakho nenjabulo yakho siqu. Kepha akupheleli lapho: Kungakusiza nokuthi uthole okwenzayo nokungakuthandi wedwa, nakho okungakwenza kube lula kuwe ukuthi ukujabulele - futhi empeleni wehle - nomlingani (noma ababili ... noma ezintathu ... noma yini entanta esikebheni sakho!). (Futhi ungakhohlwa mayelana nezinzuzo zezempilo ezimangalisayo zokushaya indlwabu, futhi.)

Futhi uma ungakaze uzithinte eminyakeni (mhlawumbe selokhu washada noma waba nezingane), ungahle futhi udinge isifundo esisha sokuthi uzithinta kanjani ngomunwe — futhi, okuyinto, iBTW, eyejwayelekile. "Imizimba yethu iyakhula, ishintshe, futhi ishintshe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi ukushaya indlwabu kungaba indlela yokuxhumana nokuhlala ujwayelene nemizimba yethu nokuzijabulisa kwethu," kusho uJennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D., isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu kanye nomeluleki wobudlelwano nokusondelana eSan. UDiego.

Uma ungakaze ube nenhlanhla ngeseshini uwedwa, khumbula: Akekho othola injabulo ngemva kohambo olulodwa lokuya ejimini. Lapho wenza okwengeziwe, uzofunda okwengeziwe hhayi nje kuphela indlela yokushaya indlwabu kodwa nendlela yokushaya indlwabu wena, kusho u-Emily Morse, owelapha ngocansi futhi ophethe i-podcast Ucansi no-Emily. "Cabanga njengomsebenzi wesikole, ngaphandle kokuthi ukuhlolwa kokugcina kumnandi kakhulu."

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kungenzeka ukuthi usuyazi kakade isethi ethize yokunyakaza (okuhlanganisa ncamashi nendlela yokwenza iminwe yakho) ukuze uqinisekise umvuthwandaba ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kepha noma ngabe indlela yakho yokuzama neqiniso isebenza njengentelezi, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi leyo nqubo ingaqala ukuzizwa incane, kahle, ijwayelekile.

Lapha, izinyathelo zikakhonkolo zokwenza iseshini yakho yokuqala (noma yokuqala ngesikhashana) ibe yimpumelelo - noma uma nje ufuna ukuphuma enkambisweni yocansi eyedwa.

1. Yifake ngepensela.

“Lapho wenza okwengeziwe, kuzoba lula ukudabula lezo zivimbamgwaqo futhi ujabulele izinzuzo zokushaya indlwabu,” kusho uMorse. Uzizwa sengathi awunaso isikhathi? Kubeke ekhalendeni lakho, uphakamisa. UMcDaniel uyavuma, enezela, "Senza isikhathi sezinto ezibalulekile kithina. Zinike imvume yokuchitha isikhathi enjabulweni yakho." (Okuhlobene: Kungani Ungesaba Ukuzifaka - nokuthi Ungakunqoba Kanjani)

2. De-stress ngaphambili.

"Ingcindezi ingaba ngomunye wababulali abakhulu besifiso sokuya ocansini kowesifazane, ngakho-ke ukufunda ukwehlisa umoya uzithobe kungenye yezindlela zokuzivocavoca ezihamba phambili ongazenza," kusho uMorse.

Kuyiqiniso: Izishayeli zocansi zabesifazane zizwela kakhulu ekucindezelekeni kunalezo zamadoda, okusho ukuthi ungaba nesikhathi esinzima sokuzizwa uvukile uma unesimo esingesihle, ngokusho kocwaningo olwenziwe yiKinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction . “Icebo lokwenza izinto ukuzisiza uphumule futhi udideke ngaphambi uze ushaye ekameleni. Zivocavoce, thatha uhambo, uzidwebele ibhavu elihle lokugeza, noma ubeke eceleni imizuzu engu-15 ukuze uzindle," kusikisela uMorse. Noma uma ungabonakali ukhahlela isimo sengqondo esibuhlungu, ungasiphoqeleli; ungahlala usho. , thola ukuthi uzomunwe kanjani ngosuku olulandelayo.

3. Thatha uhlolo.

"Ukunethezeka kuqala ngokufuna ukwazi," kusho uMcDaniel. "Uma ubeka eceleni ukwahlulela kwakho futhi ubhekane nokushaya indlwabu ngomqondo ovulekile futhi onelukuluku, kuyakusiza ukuthi ukhululeke esikhunjeni sakho." Indlela eyodwa enhle: Qala ukuhlola. U-Gunsaullus uphakamisa ukusetha isibali sikhathi semizuzu engu-15 kuya kwengama-20, ubambe isibuko sesandla, futhi ujwayelane hhayi nje nokuzwa, kodwa nokubukeka kwezingxenye zakho zocansi. Nyakazisa iminwe yakho kancane kancane emathangeni, emabeleni, esiswini, emathangeni, nasesithweni sangasese. Dlala ngezindebe ze-labia, uzinyakazise, ​​shelelisa iminwe yakho phezulu naphansi - vele uzwe umzimba wakho sengathi ungowasemzini ovakashele iplanethi entsha,” kusho yena.

4. Craft usuku ngokwakho.

U-Gunsaullus uncoma into ayibiza ngokuthi "ukushaya indlwabu okuzindla" — ukusebenzisa ingqondo kanye nazo zonke izinzwa ezinhlanu ukuze uzenzele indawo yothando, ezondlayo, nethokomele. Zidwebe okugeza okuphelele ngamabhamuza nengilazi yewayini, cisha amalambu ekamelweni lokulala, bese ukhanyisa amakhandlela ambalwa - zenzele uhlobo lwemvelo ongaluthandela ozothandana naye. (Ufuna ukuqondiswa okwengeziwe kuso? Bheka ukubonwa okuqondiswayo kukaGunsaullus.)

Udinga ukuthuthukiswa okuncane okukufaka esimweni sengqondo? Zama i-Good Vibrations After Dark, isiza esineqoqo elikhulu le-porn evumelana nabesifazane, kusikisela uMorse. (Noma lokhu: I-Porn Entsha Ezoguqula Impilo Yakho Yocansi)

5. Lube phezulu.

"I-lubricant ifana nosawoti womhlaba wezocansi - unamandla okwenza yonke into izwakale (noma inambithe) kangcono kakhulu," kusho uMorse. Ucwaningo selukhombise isikhathi eside ukuthi ukwengeza i-lube ekwenzeni uthando kungakhuphula kakhulu ukwaneliseka nenjabulo - futhi kungashiwo okufanayo ngezikhathi zodwa, kusho uMcDaniel. "ULube angaba umngane omkhulu ngokuthola injabulo eyengeziwe ngokushaya indlwabu." Vele usebenzise ukwehla ukuze uqale futhi ufake isicelo kabusha njengoba kudingeka njengoba uqhubeka nohambo lwakho lokuthi kanjani-kuya-ngokwami.

UMcDaniel uphakamisa iSystem JO Agape (Thenga It, $ 17, amazon.com), i-lube esekwe emanzini ayithandayo ngoba yakhelwe ukulingisa ukuthambisa kwakho kwemvelo noma i-Astroglide (Thenga It, $ 9, amazon.com), enye ifomula esekwe emanzini leyo iphephile kumathoyizi akho ocansi. Ngama-lubes asuselwe abicah, uMorse uncoma iPjur (Ithenge, $ 20, walmart.com) noma i-Überlube (Ithenge, $ 29, amazon.com), ezishelelayo nezilungele ukudlala ngomunwe. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yikuphi, gwema ama-lubes asekelwe ngamafutha, okunzima ukuwahlanza futhi angaphula kokubili amakhondomu namathoyizi ocansi. (Futhi ungesabi ukuletha i-lube kuma-frolics akho anobungane - kungenye yezindlela ezinhlanu eziya ku-orgasm kusihlwa.)

6. Tshala imali kudlidliza.

"Omunye wabangane bami abakhulu wayengakaze asebenzise isidlidlizi ngaphambi kokuthi ngiphakamise ukuthi asithenge. Wangithumelela umlayezo ebusuku kakhulu ethi 'OMG. Ngangingazi,'" kusho uMcDaniel.

"Kuliqiniso elinzima ukuthi abantu besifazane badinga ukukhuthazwa okulinganayo ukuze bafinyelele i-orgasm, futhi izidlidliza zifakwa kule planethi ngenxa yalesi sizathu," kusho uMorse. Uma ubusebenzisa iminwe yakho kuphela, sekuyisikhathi sokuzelapha: Uma usukulungele ukuzama ithoyizi locansi, uMorse uphakamisa ukuqala okuncane. Ama-bullet vibes afana ne-We-Vibe Tango (Buy It, $60, amazon.com) noma i-Pocket Rocket (Buy It, $22, amazon.com) ayamangalisa ngokuvuselela i-clitoral, athengekayo, futhi kulula ukuwasebenzisa, uyanikeza. Uyayithanda nemikhiqizo kaS Satisfyer, esebenzisa umfutho womoya ukuzungeza nokudonsa i-clitoris yakho esikhundleni sokuyithinta ngqo, kunikeze ukukhuthazeka okuqonde ngqo nokunamandla.

7. Gxila ezinhlotsheni ezincane zenjabulo.

"Yonke injabulo yinjabulo," kusho uMcDaniel. "Lokhu kungabonakala kusobala, kepha imvamisa abesifazane bazifaka ingcindezi yokuthola ubumnandi obuqondene nezocansi ngaphambi nangesikhathi sokushaya indlwabu, kwesinye isikhathi okungazizwa kuqinile futhi kuphoqelekile." Esikhundleni sokugxila ohlotsheni lwe-bow-chica-wah-wah lokuzijabulisa, zama ukumane uvumele ukuzitika. Thatha ukugeza okushisayo okude kunawo wonke okunamafutha, amakha, namakhandlela; lalela umculo okwenza umomotheke; gqoka izingubo zakho ezithambile; dla ukudla okungcono kakhulu; hlanganisa izinzwa zakho. Uyengeza:

8. Yenza amaphupho akho angcolise.

"Ukuvuka kwenhliziyo kuqala ekhanda lakho futhi kusebenza phansi," kusho uMorse. "Uma umqondo wakho umuhle futhi ukhanyisiwe, ngeke kube isikhathi eside kuze kube yilapho wonke umzimba wakho ulandela." Ukuze uthole lobo buchopho obukhulu obumnandi, qala ukucabanga. "Cabanga ngesipiliyoni sakho socansi esishisayo bese usidlala ekhanda lakho, noma uvumele ingqondo yakho izule uhlangane nomuntu ongamazi ohehayo-noma yini ekusiza ukuthi ujabule." Futhi khumbula, kuyiphupho lakho. Akekho owazi ukuthi yini ekhanda lakho ngaphandle kwakho, ngakho-ke asikho isidingo sokuzizwa unamahloni noma unecala ngalokho okukhanyisa umlilo wakho. (Ngokuthakazelisayo, abanye besifazane basebenzisa i-BDSM njengendlela yokwelapha.)

9. Hlola ubuciko bezocansi.

Nakuba amadoda ekhetha ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ngobulili bangempela, abesifazane bavuswa kakhulu iziqeshana ezivusa inkanuko ngendaba ephathekayo, ebeka isimo sengqondo, kusho ucwaningo olwenziwe Ijenali Yomhlaba Wonke Yocwaningo Lokungabi Namandla. Futhi khumbula, ngenkathi izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zintshontsha umbukiso uma kukhulunywa ngezinto zokushaya indlwabu, kukhona umhlaba wonke wobuciko obukhangayo laphaya. "Abanye abantu bavulelwa ngokwangempela yizimpawu zokubuka, abanye ngezimpawu zomlomo noma ezibhaliwe, abanye bayalahleka ngephupho elihle. Zama ukuthi yiluphi uhlobo, nokuthi yiluphi uhlobo lokuqukethwe, okwenza imoto yakho isebenze," kusho uMcDaniel. (BTW, uma uzibuza ukuthi "uzenza kanjani iminwe?" ungase ufune ukufunda ukuthi uzenza kanjani zonke izinhlobo ezahlukene zokudlala ngesandla.)

10. Qaphela umzimba wakho wonke.

Umzimba wakho wonke uyakwazi ukuzijabulisa, kusho u-Gunsaullus, ngakho-ke hamba uyohlola ngaphandle kwemingcele. "Thatha isandla sakho noma ithoyizi ulihambise emathangeni akho angaphakathi, i-vulva yangaphandle yonke, kanye nesisu sakho nezingono uma uthanda," usho kanje. Isayensi ingakunika ukusikisela kokuthi ungaqala kuphi: Zama ukuthinta okulula entanyeni, ingalo, kanye nokhalo lwesitho sangasese sowesifazane (emaphethelweni wesitho sowesifazane esiseduze nendunu) nengcindezi nokudlidlizela ezingonweni nakuma-clitoris - konke okunye izindawo ezisezingeni eliphakeme kakhulu zobumnandi ocwaningweni ku- Ijenali Yezokwelapha. Kepha thinta konke futhi uzifundele, unake ukuthi hlobo luni lomuzwa nengcindezi ezwa ukuthi iyathandeka kuwe, kunezela uGunsaullus. Ithiphu ye-Pro: Ithoyizi elifana neJe Joue's Mimi Soft (Thenga It, $ 89, amazon.com) likulungele lokhu ngoba zonke izindawo zithambile futhi ziyazamazama.

11. Yehlisa ijubane.

Abantu abaningi bafisa ukuthi abalingani babo bachithe isikhathi esiningi ku-foreplay - ngakho-ke ungasheshisi izinto ngokwakho. Iya kancane kathathu kunalokho ocabanga ukuthi kufanele ukwenze, kusikisela uMorse. "Ukushaya indlwabu kumayelana nohambo njengoba kuyindawo okuyiwa kuyo." Thatha isikhathi sokuhlola zonke izingxenye zomzimba wakho - kusuka entanyeni yakho kuze kufike emathangeni akho angaphakathi - ngaphambi kokudlulela esweni lenkunzi. Naka okuzwakala kukuhle, okungcono, futhi okuhle kakhulu, futhi uvumele leyo mizwa yakhele. Imiphumela izokufanelekela ukulindwa.

12. Shintsha indlela yakho.

Ukuhlukahluka yilokho okuqhakambisa ucansi - ngisho nohlobo onalo nawe, kusho uMorse. Uma ungakashintshi ukushaywa unhlangothi noma isivinini selokhu uqale ukufunda ukushaya indlwabu noma ukuthi uzithinta kanjani umunwe ikakhulukazi, manje isikhathi.Isibonelo, uma uvame ukuzishaya ngephethini e-diagonal - uhambisa iminwe yakho phezu kwe-clitoris yakho ngapha nangapha - zama ukushintsha inqubo yakho yokushaya uhlangothi ngokuyiphulula usebenzisa ukunyakaza phezulu naphansi. Enye indlela: Sebenzisa umunwe owodwa ukuthola imibuthano ezungeze i-clitoris yakho ngaphandle kokuyithinta ngqo, kusho uMorse. Ukuphela kwemizwa kusazokhuthazwa ngokungaqondile, okusiza ukwakha ukungezwani okuningi nenjabulo ngaphambi kokuthi ungene endaweni yakho yobumnandi.

13. Phefumula.

"Ungamangala ukuthi bangaki abantu besifazane ababambeke kakhulu kulokho izandla zabo ezikwenzayo baze bakhohlwe ukuphefumula. Ukugxila ekuphefumuleni kwakho kwakha ukuxhumana okujulile nomzimba wakho, futhi kukusiza ukuba ubalekele noma yimiphi imicabango ephazamisayo efana nokuthi 'Ingabe ngenza kunjalo?' noma 'Sisekhona?' "kusho uMorse. Kulula: Vele ugxilise ukunaka kwakho ekuhogeleni kwakho bese ukhipha umoya - umzimba wakho uzokwenza konke okunye. (Cabanga ukushuna umoya wakho ngalezi zindlela ezintathu zokuphefumula.)

Buyekeza kwe-