Ukukhungatheka Ngokocansi Kujwayelekile - Nansi Indlela Yokuphatha

-Delile

• Kuyini ngempela?
• Kuyinto evamile
• Ungayibona kanjani (uma ingakacaci)
• Kungani kwenzeka
• Kwesinye isikhathi kuba ngumzimba wakho
• Kwesinye isikhathi kuba ubuchopho bakho
• Futhi kwesinye isikhathi kungukujikeleza kwakho - noma ukuntuleka kwakho
• Indlela ozizwa ngayo ngayo inquma ukuthi yini elandelayo
• Uma ucansi lungekho etafuleni
• Qonda ukuthi kungani ucansi lodwa lungekho etafuleni
• Lalela umculo okulawula phansi
• Ukuzivocavoca umzimba
• Amavolontiya
• Thola umuntu ozomgona
• Nakekela eminye imisebenzi yomzimba
• Khumbula ukuthi yonke imizwa ingeyesikhashana
• Uma isetafuleni, futhi njengamanje uwedwa
• Yehla phansi nawe
• Akusebenzi? Zama ukuzenzela uthando
• Yiba nokuma kobusuku obubodwa
• Cabanga ngabangani abanezimo zezinzuzo
• Zama ukuphola
• Qasha umuntu osebenza ngocansi
• Uma kusetafuleni, futhi usebudlelwaneni
• Uma ungakazami, qalisa ucansi
• Xhumana, xhumana, xhumana
• Susa izenzo zakho zokuya ocansini etafuleni
• Uma usasokola ukuthola kabusha ukugxila
• Okubalulekile

Sifaka imikhiqizo esicabanga ukuthi ilusizo kubafundi bethu. Uma uthenga ngezixhumanisi ezikuleli khasi, singathola ikhomishini encane. Nansi inqubo yethu.

Uthole ukunganambitheki ongabonakali ukubabaza ukuhlukahluka kocansi? Skrolela phansi ukuthola amathiphu avela kubacwaningi bezocansi ukuthi ungasisingatha kanjani, noma ngabe ucansi lusetafuleni noma cha!

Kuyini ngempela?

Buza noma ngubani owake wakhungatheka ngokocansi futhi bazokutshela: Leyo sh * t iyiqiniso! Kodwa akuyona into ozoyibona ichazwa encwadini yezokwelapha.

Isazi sezocansi uTami Rose, umnikazi we-Romantic Adventures, i-boutique yabantu abadala eJackson, eMississippi, unikeza le ncazelo:

"Ukukhungatheka ngokocansi kuyindlela engokwemvelo yokuthi kube nokungalingani phakathi kwalokho okufunayo (noma okudingayo) ngokocansi nalokho okutholayo noma obhekene nakho njengamanje."

Kubonakala ngokuhlukile kuwo wonke umuntu. Kwabanye abantu, kungahle kuveze njengokuthukuthela okujwayelekile noma ukuphazamiseka, kwabanye, ukudana noma ukukhathazeka. Futhi kwabanye, njengobudedengu.

Kunezimbangela ezahlukahlukene ze-bajillion, kepha ezinye zazo eziyinhloko zifaka:

• ukungabikho kokuvusa
• ukungabi khona kwe-orgasm, ukungabi namandla kwe-orgasm, noma ukungabi khona kwama-orgasms amaningi
• amahloni ngohlobo locansi onalo, oke waba nalo, noma ofuna ukuba nalo
• ukungabi nalo uhlobo locansi ofuna ukuba nalo

“Ngezinye izikhathi lokho abantu abacabanga ukuthi ukukhungatheka ngokobulili empeleni kuwukungagculiseki ngokuthile okuqhubekayo ezimpilweni zabo,” kusho udokotela wezifo zomchamo nochwepheshe wezempilo yezocansi uDkt. Jennifer Berman, ongumhlanganyeli wohlelo lwezingxoxo lwasemini oluthi “The Doctors.”

"Kwesinye isikhathi othile uyakuzwa ngoba abaphikiswa kahle emsebenzini, futhi kwesinye isikhathi yingoba akaxhumani nomlingani wakhe."

Kuyinto evamile

Okokuqala, yazi ukuthi imizwa nemizwa onayo ingokwemvelo ngokuphelele futhi ngokuphelele!

“Kungakhathaliseki ubulili nobulili, cishe wonke umuntu uyobhekana nokukhungatheka ngokobulili esikhathini esithile sokuphila kwakhe,” kusho umeluleki wezobulili emtholampilo u-Eric M. Garrison, umbhali wencwadi ethi “Mastering Multiple Position Sex.”

"Kungenxa yokuthi bafuna ukuya ocansini uma umlingani wakhe engafuni, noma ngoba befuna ukuya ocansini futhi bengenamuntu abazokwenza naye."

Uyanezela: "Imithombo yezindaba ejwayelekile ivame ukusenza sicabange ukuthi kufanele sihlale senza ucansi olushukumisa ingqondo ngaso sonke isikhathi, okungangezela emuzwa wokukhungatheka nokuxakaniseka lapho singalwenzi ucansi oluhlasela ingqondo ngaso sonke isikhathi."

Ungayibona kanjani (uma ingakacaci)

Chaza umoya wakho ngezichasiso ezintathu. Qhubeka, bhala phansi.

Manje babheke. Uma izichasiso ozibalile ziyimvula yonke kanye nama-unicorn, kungenzeka ukuthi awukhungathekile ngokocansi.

Kepha uma konke kukubi - kuyacasuka, kuyathukuthela, kukhungathekile, kuyabheda, kuyacasula, njll. - udinga ukuthola ukuthi ivelaphi leyo mizwa.

Uke waba ngaphansi kwethoni lokucindezeleka emsebenzini? Ngabe kukhona umuntu owakuphindisela emuva endaweni yokupaka ye-Target? Amathuba ukuthi imizwa yakho engemihle ibangelwe yingcindezi yesimo noma ukungalali.

Uma, noma kunjalo, ingekho imbangela esobala yabesilisa nabesifazane, sekuyisikhathi sokubheka impilo yakho yocansi eyedwa noma ehlangene. Zibuze:

• Ngabe mina no-boo wami besilokhu senza ucansi oluncane kunokujwayelekile? Ingabe bengilokhu ngiphuma kaningi?
• Ngabe umlingani wami unqabe izimemo zami ezimbalwa zokugcina zokuya ocansini (aka advances)?
• Ngabe ngikhathele kakhulu ukuthi ngingagxuma noma ngiye ocansini ngaphambi kokulala?
• Ingabe kukhona izinto engizifunayo ngokocansi engingakwazi ukuzihlola?
• Ngabe bengihlanganyela ekuziphatheni “okuyingozi” ukuze ngifeze izidingo zami zocansi?
• Ngabe ushintsho lwakamuva emzimbeni noma emithini yami luthinte ikhono lami lokuthola ucansi olwanelisayo?

Kungani kwenzeka

“Uma kukhulunywa ngokukhathazeka ngocansi, ukufunda ukuthi kungani kwenzeka kubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho kuyinto okwenzekayo, ”kusho uGarrison. "Kungani ikuvumela ukuthi ubhekane kahle nayo."

Kwesinye isikhathi kuba ngumzimba wakho

"Noma yikuphi ukulimala okusha, ubuhlungu obungapheli, izifo ezithile, ukuluthwa, kanye nezinkinga zabesifazane kungaphazamisa ikhono lakho lokuya ocansini noma i-orgasm, okungaholela ekukhungathekeni ngokocansi," kusho uGarrison.

"Kuyafana futhi uma umlingani ojwayele ukwenza naye ucansi ubhekene nenye yalezi zinto."

Ngoba ukuya ocansini ngesikhathi nangemva kokubeletha kungaba buhlungu noma kungathandeki kwabanye abanikazi bezitho zobulili, kujwayelekile ukuthi abalingani babo bazizwe bekhungathekile ngokocansi ngalesi sikhathi, usho kanjalo.

Imithi ethile efana ne-anti-depressants, i-serotonin reuptake inhibitors ekhethiwe (i-SSRIs), ukulawulwa kokuzalwa, kanye ne-beta-blockers (ukubala abambalwa) nayo yaziwa ngokuba nemiphumela ehlekisayo ku-libido naku-orgasm.

Uma usanda kusebenzisa omunye wale mithi, khuluma nodokotela wakho ngemiphumela emibi ohlangabezana nayo.

Kwesinye isikhathi kuba ubuchopho bakho

"Ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka, ikakhulukazi uma kuqhubeka, kungadala umonakalo omkhulu kwi-persona libido, intshisekelo kwezocansi, ikhono lokuzijabulisa, nokuningi," kusho uBerman.

Ngokufanayo kuya ngokudangala. kukhombisa ukuthi abantu abacindezelekile baya ocansini kaningi, bane-libido ephansi, futhi ngokuvamile abanelisekile ebudlelwaneni babo.

Futhi kwesinye isikhathi kungukujikeleza kwakho - noma ukuntuleka kwakho

"Ngemibhangqwana, noma nini lapho omunye umlingani ezizwa ekhungathekile ngokocansi [futhi] bengakhulumisananga ngokwanele ngezifiso zabo nomlingani wabo, [kushiya] umlingani wabo ebumnyameni ezifisweni zabo," kusho uGarrison.

Noma, kungenzeka ukuthi wena nethoyizi lakho noma uzakwenu anisahambisani. Kuyenzeka. Izintandokazi zethu zocansi nezintandokazi zethu ziyashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Indlela ozizwa ngayo ngayo inquma ukuthi yini elandelayo

Ngabe uyafuna ukubhekana nale mizwa? Noma ufuna ukubalinda ukuthi bahambe bodwa? Ukuzikhethela kungokwakho.

Kodwa-ke, uGarrison uthi sekuyisikhathi sokufuna usizo lochwepheshe wezocansi noma wezempilo yengqondo uma le mizwa:

• kuthinta izimali zakho
• kuthinta indlela ophatha ngayo umlingani wakho noma abanye abantu empilweni yakho
• ikwenze wenze ngokuxhamazela noma ngezindlela obungeke uzenze, njengokweqa umsebenzi noma ukukopela kumlingani wakho

Uma ucansi lungekho etafuleni

Mhlawumbe umlingani wakho usanda kudlula ezweni lonke. Noma mhlawumbe uyiLone Ranger okwamanje olele embhedeni.

Uma uzama ukudlula kulokhu kukhungatheka ngaphandle kokusebenzisa izandla zakho (noma umlomo womlingani wakho), lezi zeluleko zingasiza.

Qonda ukuthi kungani ucansi lodwa lungekho etafuleni

"Uma othile ekhungathekile ngokocansi kodwa engafuni ukushaya indlwabu, kufanele bathole ukuthi kungani lokho kunjalo," kusho isazi sezocansi uSarah Melancon, i-PhD, isazi sezocansi nezobudlelwano seSexToyCollective.com.

“Ingabe ukukhuluma ngendlela ongacabangi ngocansi ngayo kuyakhuluma? Ngabe uzizwa unamahloni ngokushaya indlwabu? Awazi yini ukuthi ungazenza kanjani ukuba uze? ”

Uma imiyalezo enganaki ubulili ikugcina ungayi ocansini uwedwa, uncoma ukuthi usebenzisane nomelaphi wezocansi - ukushaya indlwabu ngomunye wemithi engcono kakhulu yokukhungatheka ngokocansi!

Lalela umculo okulawula phansi

Manje kunjalo hhayi isikhathi sokusakaza iThe Weeknd, Amabhange, noma yiziphi ezinye izingoma kuhlu lwakho lwadlalwayo locansi.

Esikhundleni salokho, vula ivolumu phezulu kokuthile amakhaza, njengabantu noma i-acoustic.

"Umculo uyisidlamlilo esinamandla," kusho uBritney Blair, umsunguli womtholampilo wokwelapha ngocansi iThe Clinic nomsunguli womhlanganyeli weLover, uhlelo lokusebenza olungcono lwezocansi.

Ukuzivocavoca umzimba

I-kickboxing, i-yoga eshisayo, i-CrossFit. UBlair uthi uma usuthole umsebenzi olungele wena, ukukhishwa kwamandla nokushesha kwama-endorphin kungasiza.

Amavolontiya

Kungazwakala kunenjabulo, kepha uBlair uthi, "ukususa ukugxila kimi bese ungene kwenye kungasiza."

Futhi, kwesinye isikhathi ukwenza okuthile ngaphandle kokukhanyisela ukuthi ucasuke kanjani ocansini kungasiza, usho kanjalo.

Thola umuntu ozomgona

UGarrison uthi kwesinye isikhathi akukhona ukuya ocansini okufisayo lapho ukhungathekile ngokocansi - kungukuthinta komuntu.

"Saziwa njengokulamba kwesikhumba, lapho sihamba isikhathi eside ngaphandle kokugonana, ukugona, noma ukugona omunye umuntu, silangazelela ukuthintwa - noma kungezona ezocansi," esho.

Zama ukwanga uMama wakho isikhathi esizayo ngokuzayo lapho umbona. Noma buza i-BFF yakho ukuthi ngabe bazobe bephansi ku-Netflix futhi banganga. Noma, iya ku - noma usingathe! - iphathi yokugaxana.

Nakekela eminye imisebenzi yomzimba

Asikhulumi nje ngobuthi lapha!

"Kuvamile kakhulu ukuthi abantu bangazinaki izidingo zabo eziyisisekelo zomzimba ezifana nendlala, ukoma nokulala," kusho uMelancon.

Isibonelo, kukangaki uqhubeka nokuskrola futhi uzitshele “eminye imizuzu engu-5!” kuze kube yilapho isinye sakho sesizoqhuma?

"Inkinga ukuthi uma uyeka ukulalela umzimba wakho, nawo uyeka 'ukukhuluma' nawe," esho.

"Ukuqala ukuhlola nomzimba wakho ngezidingo zabesilisa nabesifazane kungakusiza ukuthi wazi izidingo zakho zocansi."

Futhi lapho wazi izidingo zakho zocansi? Yebo, ukwazi kangcono ukuhlangana nabo futhi ugweme ukukhungatheka ngokocansi ngokuphelele. Ukunqoba!

Khumbula ukuthi yonke imizwa ingeyesikhashana

“Akekho umuntu ozizwa ekhungathekile, noma omunye umuzwa, ngokungapheli,” kusho uBlair. "Yiba nobubele kuwe, wazi ukuthi nalokhu kuzodlula."

Uma isetafuleni, futhi njengamanje uwedwa

Cha boo, akunankinga. Awudingi ukuba ebudlelwaneni obubucayi kakhulu ukuze uthole okwakho.

Yehla phansi nawe

Kulungile, yihora lokushaya.

Uma i-go-stroke yakho ingakusizi ekuqhumeni ngalokhu kukhathazeka ngokocansi, yishintshe!

Ungazama:

• eside, imivimbo ngamabomu phezulu naphansi
• imivimbo e-jagged, e-diagonal
• ngokushaya indawo yakho ye- “it”
• ukwandisa noma ukunciphisa ijubane noma ingcindezi

Akusebenzi? Zama ukuzenzela uthando

"Uma ushaya indlwabu ngokushesha okukhulu, cishe sengathi uzama ukuyiqeda, ungahle unganeliseki futhi uzizwe ukhungathekile nakakhulu," kusho uMelancon.

Yingakho ephakamisa ukwenza uthando kuwe. "Thatha isikhathi sakho, futhi uzogcina wenelisekile."

Ungazama nokuhlela, ukulawulwa kwe-aka orgasm, okubandakanya ukuzakha uze ufike emaphethelweni e-orgasm kaninginingi uze ekugcineni uzivumele uqede nge-big bang.

"Ukuhlela kucatshangwa ukuthi kuzoholela ku-orgasm 'engcono' noma 'enkulu,' okusho ukuthi ingaba ngempumelelo ekusizeni ukuqeda ukukhathazeka ngokocansi," kusho uGarrison.

Yiba nokuma kobusuku obubodwa

Inqobo nje uma wonke umuntu ethinteka evuma - futhi usesimweni esifanele somqondo uku Imvume - futhi uyazi ukuthi lesi yisimo sokuma ubusuku obubodwa, lokhu kusetafuleni kakhulu.

Vele uqiniseke ukuthi wenza ucansi oluphephile.

O, futhi ngicela ubhalele umngani ngaphambi kwesikhathi ukuze othile azi ukuthi uyaphi, noma ukuthi umema "umuntu ongamazi".

Cabanga ngabangani abanezimo zezinzuzo

Impela, ama-FWB can kube budlabha. Kepha uma wonke umuntu ebheka phambili ngalokho abanethemba lokukuthola kulesi simo - kuwe, ukwaneliseka ngokocansi - izimo zezimo can futhi kube kuhle!

Uma unomngane obukade udlala ngothando naye (futhi mhlawumbe usuvele uxhumene naye ngaphambili), ungazama ukubuza:

• “Zizwe ukhululekile ukungithumelela i-eye-roll emoji (noma ungawunaki lo mbhalo ngokuphelele!) Uma ungekho phansi. Kepha ungazizwa kanjani ngabangani abanesimo sezinzuzo? Njengamanje angibhekile ukuthandana, kodwa akuyona imfihlo engihlale ngikuthola umuhle. ”
• “Hheyi :). Okwamanje angifuni ubudlelwano obubucayi, kepha ngithanda ukukumema ngobusuku be-movie yothando ngesinye isikhathi, uma unentshisekelo. "

Lapho udweba umbhalo wakho (noma okungcono kakhulu, ukuletha i-IRL), landela le mithetho:

1. Thembeka ukuthi awufuni okuthile okubucayi.
2. Chaza kahle ukuthi ufunani (ucansi).
3. Qiniseka ukuthi umuntu uzizwa ekhululekile ukuthi cha.
4. Ungaphindi ubuze noma ubenze bazizwe bexakile uma bethi cha.

Zama ukuphola

Isizathu sokuthi awukho ebuhlotsheni manje, akusho ukuthi awukwazi noma ngeke ube izinyanga ezintathu kusukela manje… Futhi yize kungenjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi, ukuphola kuvame ukulingana nokubona.

Ngakho-ke, uma uzizwa "ukulungele" (themba ithumbu lakho lapha, bantu) kuze kube manje, faka umhlaba wokuphola!

Unga:

• Landa izinhlelo zokusebenza.
• Tshela abantu ukuthi usuphola futhi!
• Cela abangani bakho ukuthi bakumise.
• Buza omunye umuntu, uma kukhona umuntu obukade ucindezela kuye.

Qasha umuntu osebenza ngocansi

Kungani ungahlangabezani nezidingo zakho zocansi ngosizo lochwepheshe? Ubani onquma ukumqasha kuzoncika kulokho okuthandwa nguwe ngokocansi.

Isibonelo, uma uku:

• ngokuzithoba, ungaqasha iDominatrix ukuthi ikubophe
• ukubukela othile eshaya indlwabu, ungaqasha imodeli ye-webcam
• ngokunikeza ngomlomo, ungaqasha usonkontileka ozimele wezocansi

Uma kusetafuleni, futhi usebudlelwaneni

Akungabazeki, ukuzizwa ukhungathekile ngokobulili lapho uthandana nothile kunuka kabi. Ngenhlanhla, kukhona izinto ongazama ngazo.

Uma ungakazami, qalisa ucansi

Uma inkinga ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho seniphume emkhubeni wokuxhuma futhi kube yi umzuzueeee, UBerman uthi kungaba lula njengokumema umlingani wakho ukuthi [faka ezocansi lapha] nawe!

Kwazi bani, mhlawumbe bebelokhu bekhungathekile ngokobulili njengawe.

Xhumana, xhumana, xhumana

Uma "ukwenza ucansi nje" kungeke kunisebenzele nina nobabili, sekuyisikhathi sokuba nengxoxo eqotho nomlingani wakho mayelana nokuthi uzizwa kanjani nokuthi kungani.

“Le ngxoxo [ingaba] nzima,” kusho uGarrison. "Kodwa kuyadingeka."

Ungazizwa unecala ngokufuna ukukhuluma ne-boo yakho ngokuthi ningenza kanjani ukuthi impilo yenu yezocansi ijabulise nobabili.

Nazi ezinye zezindlela ongaletha ngazo nomlingani wakho, kuya ngokuthi uqhamuka kuphi ukukhungatheka ngokocansi:

• “Bengifunda i-athikili ekhuluma ngokukhonkotha, futhi ngicabanga ukuthi yinto engisondelene nayo engingathanda ukuyizama nawe. Ingabe leyo yinto ongazimisela ukuyifunda kabanzi futhi niyizame ngokubambisana? ”
• “Ngiyazi ukuthi ucansi lwe-P-in-V belungeke lwenzeke kuwe selokhu kwazalwa ingane, kodwa ngingathanda ukuzama ezinye izinhlobo zokusondelana. Ingabe leyo yinto ongathanda ukuyizama? "
• “Nginomuzwa wokuthi besingalwenzi ucansi ngenxa [yempikiswano ye-X], futhi ngingathanda ukukhuluma ngakho. Ngikhumbula ukuzizwa ngiseduze nawe. ”

Susa izenzo zakho zokuya ocansini etafuleni

Uma wena nophathina wakho nenza inqubo yocansi - njengabalingani abaningi besikhathi eside abenza - ukukhipha isinqumo sokuthi “ubudala obudala obufanayo, obudala obufanayo” kungakusiza usondele ocansini usendaweni yokuhlola.

“Esikhundleni sokwenza‘ okujwayelekile, ’wena unayo ukuthatha isikhathi sokudlala ndawonye futhi sibone ukuthi yini enye ezwa kamnandi, ”kusho uMelancon. Kumnandi!

Uma usasokola ukuthola kabusha ukugxila

Uzamile okungenhla, kepha usenayo yonke le mizwa ongazi ukuthi wenzeni ngayo? Sekuyisikhathi sokuletha ubuhle.

Umelaphi wezocansi nobudlelwano kungumqondo omuhle uma ulwa namahloni ezocansi, izinkanuko zocansi, nokukhungatheka kocansi.

Kuyafana uma ufuna umuntu ozoya naye nge-boo yakho.

Okubalulekile

Ukukhungatheka ngokocansi kungaba kubi kakhulu.

Ukuthi awukashadi noma uzibophezele impilo - futhi uzimisele ngokuqhubeka nesimilo sakho sobulili noma cha - kunezindlela zokuthi hhayi kuphela Ima ukukhungatheka ngokocansi, kepha ukuze waneliseke ngokocansi!

UGabrielle Kassel ungumbhali wezocansi nowezempilo ozinze eNew York noMqeqeshi weCrossFit Level 1. Ube ngumuntu wasekuseni, uvivinye ama-vibrator angaphezu kwama-200, futhi wadliwa, wadakwa, futhi wahluzwa ngamalahle - konke egameni lobuntatheli. Ngesikhathi sakhe samahhala, angatholakala efunda izincwadi zokuzisiza namanoveli othando, ukucindezela ibhentshi, noma ukudansa kwepali. Mlandele ku-Instagram.