Ubuhle Nobubi Bokubhaxabula

-Delile

• Ingabe kufanele usebenzise ukushaya njengendlela yokujezisa?
• Buhle bokushaya
  
• Izinzuzo zokushaya
• 1. Idatha engaziwa kancane
• 2. Zonke izingane zehlukile
• 3. Isici sokushaqeka
• Ububi bokushaywa
  
• Ububi bokushaywa
• 1. Ochwepheshe bayaphikisana
• 2. Ukushaya kufundisa ulaka
• 3. Amandla okwenza okungalungile
• Ukuthatha
• Q:
• A:

Ngisakhula, angikhumbuli ngake ngashaywa. Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi kwenzeke isikhathi noma ezimbili (ngoba abazali bami babengaphikisani nokushaywa), kodwa azikho izehlakalo ezifika engqondweni. Kepha ngizikhumbula kahle izikhathi lapho umfowethu ashaywa khona.

Ekhaya lethu, ukushaya kwakuyisijeziso esasikhishwa njengoba nje “kuhloselwe” ukuba kube: ngomoya ophansi, ngokunengqondo, nangokugxila ekusizeni ingane ukuthi iqonde isizathu sokujeziswa.

Njengoba ngakhulela ekhaya lapho ukushaya kwakuyindlela eyamukelekile yokujeziswa (futhi mina nomfowethu asibonakali silinyazwe ngendlela engenakulungiseka kukho), ubungacabanga ukuthi namuhla bengizovuna ukuzishaya.

Kodwa ngokwami, angihambisani nakho. Indodakazi yami manje ineminyaka engu-3 ubudala, futhi akukaze kube yinto engikhululeke ngayo. Nginabangani abashaya, futhi angihluleli okwesibili ngalokho.

Nazi izinzuzo nezingozi ngokushaya.

Ingabe kufanele usebenzise ukushaya njengendlela yokujezisa?

Ucwaningo lwamuva kakhulu olwenziwe eNyuvesi yaseTexas luqoqe imininingwane engaphezu kwamashumi amahlanu yemininingwane yokufunda. Ochwepheshe bafinyelela esiphethweni esethusayo: Ukushaya kubangela ukulimala okufanayo ngokomzwelo nokukhula njengokuhlukumeza izingane.

Ngokusho kocwaningo, lapho izingane zishaywa kakhulu, maningi amathuba okuthi zingadelela abazali bazo nolwazi lwabo:

• ukungaziphathi komphakathi
• ulaka
• izinkinga zempilo yengqondo
• ubunzima bokuqonda

Lokhu akusikho kuphela ukutadisha okunjalo. Kuningi okukhona okugqamisa imiphumela emibi yokushaywa. Futhi nokho, amaphesenti angama-81 aseMelika akholelwa ukuthi ukushaywa kuyindlela eyamukelekayo yokujeziswa. Kungani umehluko phakathi kocwaningo nombono wabazali?

Ngokusobala, abazali kumele babone ukuthi kunezinto ezithile ezinhle ucwaningo olulahlekile kubo ukuze basebenzise ukushaya njengendlela yokujezisa. Ngakho-ke abantu bakholelwa ukuthi izinzuzo zokushaya?

Buhle bokushaya

1. Endaweni elawulwayo, ukushaya kungaba yindlela ephumelelayo yokujezisa.
2. Kungashaqisa ingane yakho ukuthi iziphathe kangcono.
3. Zonke izingane zisabela ngendlela ehlukile ezinhlotsheni ezahlukene zokujeziswa.

Izinzuzo zokushaya

1. Idatha engaziwa kancane

Uzocindezelwa kanzima ukuthola noma yiluphi ucwaningo olukhulu olukhombisa ukushaya ukuze lusebenze ekushintsheni kokuziphatha futhi lungabi nemiphumela emibi. Kepha kunezifundo ezithile ezikhona lapho eziphakamisa ukuthi ukushaywa okwenziwa "abazali abanothando, abanezinhloso ezinhle" endaweni "engahlukumezi, eqondisayo" kungaba yindlela efanele yokujeziswa.

Isihluthulelo ukuthi ukushaya kufanele kwenziwe endaweni ezolile, enothando. Khumbula, ukugxila ekusizeni ingane ukuba ifunde indlela efanele yokuziphatha, ngokungafani nokwanelisa ukukhungatheka komzali ekushiseni okwamanje.

2. Zonke izingane zehlukile

Mhlawumbe impikiswano enkulu yokushaywa isikhumbuzo sokuthi zonke izingane zehlukile. Izingane zisabela ngendlela ehlukile ezinhlotsheni zokujeziswa, ngisho nezingane ezikhulele ekhaya elilodwa. Mina nomfowethu siyisibonelo esiphelele salokho. Kwezinye izingane, abazali bangakholelwa ngokweqiniso ukuthi ukushaya ukuphela kwendlela yokuthumela umyalezo ohlala njalo.

3. Isici sokushaqeka

Ngokuvamile, angiyena umuntu othanda kakhulu ukukhuluma. Kodwa angisoze ngalukhohlwa usuku lapho indodakazi yami yadedela khona isandla sami yaphuthuma yaphumela emgwaqweni ongaphambi kwami. Ngamemeza ngathi angikaze ngimemeze ngaphambili. Wama emikhondweni yakhe, wabukeka ethukile ebusweni bakhe. Wakhuluma ngakho izinsuku ngemuva kwalokho. Futhi kuze kube manje, akakaze aphindaphinde indlela yokuziphatha egqugquzele lokho kumemeza. Isici sokushaqeka sisebenzile.

Ngibonile ukuthi ukushaya kungaletha kanjani impendulo efanayo ezimweni ezifanayo eziyingozi (kepha, futhi, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukushaya akuguquki isimilo esifushane noma sesikhathi eside). Kwesinye isikhathi, ufuna lowo mlayezo ukhale ngokuzwakalayo nangokucacile. Ufuna ukushaqeka ngakho ukuhlala nengane yakho izinsuku, izinyanga, noma iminyaka ngemuva kweqiniso. Ekupheleni kosuku, ukuvikela izingane zethu imvamisa kungukuzivimba ekwenzeni izinto eziyingozi.

Ububi bokushaywa

1. Kungadala ulaka.
2. Ochwepheshe bayaphikisana nayo.
3. Kunezimo ezilinganiselwe lapho kungasebenza khona.

Ububi bokushaywa

1. Ochwepheshe bayaphikisana

Yonke inhlangano enkulu yezempilo iphume ngokungahambisani nokushaywa. Futhi izinhlangano eziningi zomhlaba wonke zize zakhipha ngisho nesimangalo sokwenza kube yicala ukujeziswa emzimbeni. I-American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) iphikisana kakhulu nokushaya ingane nganoma yisiphi isizathu. Ngokusho kwe-AAP, ukushaywa akukaze kunconywe. Ochwepheshe bonke bayavumelana ngaleli qiniso: Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukushaya kuyalimaza kakhulu kunokulunga.

2. Ukushaya kufundisa ulaka

Lapho indodakazi yami ineminyaka engu-2, yadlula esigabeni esihle kakhulu sokushaya. Kubi kakhulu, empeleni, size savakashela owelapha ngokuziphatha ukungisiza ngisungule amathuluzi okuqeda ukushaya. Abantu abaningana ezimpilweni zethu baphawule ukuthi uma ngingavele nje ngizame ukumshaya, uzoyeka.

Kumele ngivume, lokho akuzange kube nengqondo kimi. Bekumele ngimshaye ukuze ngimfundise ukuthi ayeke ukushaya? Ngenhlanhla, ngikwazile ukunqanda ukushaya kwakhe kungakapheli amasonto ambalwa lokho kuhambela kokuqala kuthisha oziphethe kahle. Angikaze ngizisole ngokulandela leyo ndlela esikhundleni salokho.

3. Amandla okwenza okungalungile

Into eyodwa icacile: Ochwepheshe kulo mkhakha bema beqinile ukuthi ukushaya kufanele kusetshenziswe kuphela ezimeni ezithile. Lokho wukuthi, ezinganeni ezisebangeni lasenkulisa ezenze ukungalaleli ngamabomu - hhayi izenzo ezincane zokudelela.

Akufanele isetshenziselwe izinsana, futhi kuyaqabukela izingane ezindala ezinamakhono angcono okuxhumana.

Kuhloselwe ukuthumela umlayezo oqinile, ongasetshenziswa nsuku zonke. Futhi akufanele nanini ishukunyiswe intukuthelo noma ihloselwe imizwa engafanele yamahloni noma yecala.

Kepha uma ukushaya kuyindlela eyamukelekile yokujeziswa ekhaya lakho, yimaphi amathuba okuthi ngomzuzwana wentukuthelo ungahle uphele bese ubuyela kulesi sijeziso lapho kungafanele, noma ngolaka kakhulu kunalokho okufanele?

Kubonakala kunezikhathi ezilinganiselwe kakhulu nezilawulwayo lapho ukushaya kungasebenza ngempumelelo futhi kufanelekile.

Ukuthatha

Ekugcineni, ukushaya kuyisinqumo sabazali okufanele senziwe ngamunye.

Yenza ucwaningo lwakho bese ukhuluma nabantu nochwepheshe empilweni yakho obathembayo. Uma ukhetha ukushaya, sebenzela ukuqinisekisa ukuthi usebenzisa le ndlela yokujezisa kuphela ngendlela ezolile futhi elinganisiwe ucwaningo oluhle olusikisela ukuthi luyadingeka ukuze lusebenze.

Ngaphandle kwalokho, qhubeka uthande izingane zakho futhi uzinikeze ikhaya elifudumele nelinakekelayo. Zonke izingane ziyakudinga lokho.

Q:

Yiziphi ezinye izindlela zokuziphatha ezingasetshenziswa ngabazali esikhundleni sokushaya?

A:

Uma uzizwa uphelelwe ezinye izinketho zokushintsha indlela oziphethe ngayo esikoleni, qala ngokuqinisekisa ukuthi okulindelwe kusifanele isigaba sabo sokuthuthuka. Izingane ezisencane azizikhumbuli izinto isikhathi eside kakhulu, ngakho-ke noma yikuphi ukuncoma noma imiphumela edinga ukwenzeka ngokushesha futhi ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho kwenzeka khona lokhu kuziphatha. Uma utshela ingane yakho ukuthi ingenzi okuthile bese iyaqhubeka, hambisa ingane yakho noma ushintshe isimo ukuze ingakwazi ukuqhubeka ebikwenza. Banake kakhulu lapho beziphatha ngendlela othanda ngayo, futhi uma ubenza kancane. Hlala uzolile, ungaguquguquki, futhi usebenzise 'imiphumela yemvelo' ngangokunokwenzeka. Gcina izwi lakho elikhulu, eliqinile futhi usebenzise isikhathi sokuphuma kokuziphatha okuncane ofuna ukukuyeka. Khuluma nodokotela wezingane zakho uma uzizwa ungenakho okunye ongakwenza ngaphandle kokushaya ingane yakho ukuze izame ukuthi iziphathe kahle.