Engikufunde Kubaba Wami: Wonke Umuntu Ukhombisa Uthando Ngokuhlukile

-Delile

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Bengihlala ngicabanga ukuthi ubaba ubengumuntu othulayo, olalelayo kakhulu kunesikhulumi obebukeka elinde umzuzu ofanele engxoxweni ukuze anikeze ukuphawula noma umbono ohlakaniphile. Wazalelwa futhi wakhulela ezweni elaliyiSoviet Union, ubaba wayengakaze aveze imizwa yakhe ngaphandle, ikakhulukazi leyo ehlukahlukene ethintekayo. Ngisakhula, angikhumbuli engigeza ngakho konke ukunganga okufudumele futhi "Ngiyakuthanda" engikuthole kumama. Ukhombise uthando lwakhe-bekuvame ukuthi ngezinye izindlela.

Ngelinye ihlobo lapho ngineminyaka emihlanu noma eyisithupha, wachitha izinsuku engifundisa ukugibela ibhayisikili. Udadewethu, omdala kunami ngeminyaka eyisithupha, ubesevele egibele iminyaka eminingi, futhi bengingafuni lutho olunye ngaphandle kokwazi ukuhambisana naye nezinye izingane ezisendaweni yangakithi. Nsuku zonke ngemva komsebenzi, ubaba wami wayehamba nami ehla ngomgwaqo wethu onamagquma aye e-cul-de-sac engezansi futhi asebenze nami kuze kushone ilanga. Ngesandla esisodwa esibambe izibambo esinye emhlane wami, wayengiphusha amemeze, "Hamba, hamba, hamba!" Imilenze yami iyavevezela, ngangiphusha amaphedali ngamandla. Kodwa njengoba ngangiqhubeka, isenzo sezinyawo zami sasingiphazamisa ekubambeni izandla zami ziqinile, futhi ngangiqala ukugwedla, ngingakwazi ukuzibamba. Ubaba, owayekhona egijima eduze kwami, wayengibamba ngaphambi nje kokuba ngishaye i-pavement. "Kulungile, asizame futhi," ubengasho, ukubekezela kwakhe kubonakala kungenamkhawulo.

Ukuthambekela kukababa kokufundisa kwaqala ukusebenza futhi eminyakeni embalwa kamuva lapho ngifunda ukushushuluza ekwehleni. Noma ngangifunda izifundo ezihlelekile, wayezochitha amahora amaningi nami emithambekeni, engisiza ngiphelelise amageyimu ami ne-snowplows. Lapho sengikhathele kakhulu ukuthwala ama-skis ami ngiwaphindisela endlini yokulala, wayevele acoshe phansi kwezigxobo zami angidonse lapho ngibe ngiwubambe ngqi ngqi. Lapho sihlala khona, ubengithengela ushokoledi oshisayo bese engihlikihla izinyawo ezibandayo zaze zagcina zifudumele futhi. Lapho nje sifika ekhaya, ngangigijima ngiyotshela umama ngakho konke engangikufezile ngalolo suku kuyilapho ubaba eziphumulele phambi kwe-TV.

Njengoba ngangikhula, ubuhlobo bami nobaba buya buqhela kakhulu. Ngangisemusha onomzimba omncane, othanda amaphathi nemidlalo yebhola kunokuchitha isikhathi nobaba. Kwakungasekho zikhathi ezincane zokufundisa-lezo zizathu zokuzilibazisa, sobabili kuphela. Lapho sengifikile ekolishi, izingxoxo zami nobaba zazilinganiselwe kokuthi, "Hawu baba, ngabe umama ukhona?" Ngangichitha amahora amaningi ocingweni nomama, akuzange kungifikele ukuthi ngithathe isikhashana ukuxoxa nobaba.

Ngesikhathi ngineminyaka engu-25, ukungakwazi kwethu ukuxhumana kwakubuthinte kakhulu ubuhlobo bethu. Njengoba kunjalo, besingenayo ngempela. Impela, ubaba wayesempilweni yami-yena nomama wami babesashadile futhi ngangikhuluma naye kafishane ocingweni ngimbone lapho ngifika ekhaya amahlandla ambalwa ngonyaka. Kepha wayengekho phakathi impilo yami-wayengazi okuningi ngayo futhi bengingazi okuningi ngeyakhe.

Ngabona ukuthi ngangingakaze ngizinike isikhathi sokumazi. Bengingabala izinto engizaziyo ngobaba wami ngakolunye uhlangothi. Ngangazi ukuthi wayelithanda ibhola likanobhutshuzwayo, ama-Beatles, kanye ne-History Channel, nokuthi ubuso bakhe buphenduke baba bomvu ngokugqamile lapho ehleka. Ngangazi nokuthi wayethuthele e-U.S. nomama besuka eSoviet Union ukuze banikeze mina nodadewethu ukuphila okungcono, futhi wakwenza lokho kanye. Wayeqiniseka ukuthi sihlale sinophahla phezu kwamakhanda ethu, inala yokudla, nemfundo enhle. Futhi bengingakaze ngimbonge ngakho. Ngisho nakanye.

Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi kuqhubeke, ngaqala ukwenza umzamo wokuxhumana nobaba. Ngangishayela ucingo kaningi futhi angizange ngibuze ngokushesha ukukhuluma nomama. Kwavela ukuthi ubaba wami, ebengikade ngicabanga ukuthi uthule kakhulu, empeleni kuningi abengakusho. Sichithe amahora amaningi ocingweni sixoxa ngokuthi kunjani ukukhula eSoviet Union nangobudlelwano bakhe noyise.

Wangitshela ukuthi ubaba wakhe ungubaba omkhulu. Yize ayeqinile kwesinye isikhathi, ubabamkhulu wayenamahlaya amahle futhi ethonya ubaba wami ngezindlela eziningi, kusukela othandweni lwakhe lokufunda kuya ekuthandeni kwakhe umlando. Lapho ubaba eneminyaka engu-20, umama wakhe washona futhi ubuhlobo phakathi kwakhe noyise baqala ukuqhela, ikakhulukazi ngemva kokuba umkhulu ephinde washada eminyakeni embalwa kamuva. Ukuxhumana kwabo kwakukude impela, phela ngangingavamile ukumbona umkhulu ekhula futhi angisamboni kakhulu manje.

Ukwazi kancane kancane ubaba wami eminyakeni embalwa edlule kuye kwaqinisa ubuhlobo bethu futhi kwanginikeza amazwibela ngezwe lakhe. Ukuphila eSoviet Union kwakumayelana nokusinda, wangitshela. Ngaleso sikhathi, ukunakekela ingane kwakusho ukuqiniseka ukuthi igqokisiwe futhi yondliwe-futhi kwaba yilokho. Obaba abazange badlale i-catch namadodana abo nomama ngokuqinisekile abazange baye ezitolo zokuthenga namadodakazi abo. Ukuqonda lokhu kwangenza ngazizwa nginenhlanhla kangangokuthi ubaba wangifundisa ukugibela ibhayisikili, ukushushuluza, nokunye okuningi.

Ngesikhathi ngisekhaya ehlobo eledlule, ubaba wabuza ukuthi ngifuna ukuyodlala igalofu naye. Angiwuthandi neze umdlalo futhi bengingakaze ngidlale empilweni yami, kodwa ngithe yebo ngoba bengazi ukuthi kuzoba yindlela yokuthi sichithe isikhathi esisodwa ndawonye. Safika enkundleni yegalofu, futhi ubaba ngokushesha wangena kumodi yokufundisa, njengoba ayenzile ngiseyingane, engibonisa ukuma okufanele kanye nendlela yokubamba iklabhu nge-engeli elungile ukuze aqinisekise ukushayela okude. Ingxoxo yethu yayigxile kakhulu egalofu-kwakungekho ukuxoxisana okumangalisayo kwenhliziyo noma ukuvuma izono-kodwa anginandaba. Bengiqala ukuchitha isikhathi nobaba wami futhi ngabelane ngento ayithandayo.

Kulezi zinsuku, sikhuluma ngocingo cishe kanye ngesonto futhi uza eNew York ukuzovakasha kabili ezinyangeni eziyisithupha ezedlule. Ngisakuthola kulula kimi ukukhuluma nomama, kodwa engikubonile ukuthi kulungile. Uthando lungavezwa ngezindlela eziningi ezahlukene. Ubaba angase angangitsheli ngaso sonke isikhathi indlela azizwa ngayo kodwa ngiyazi ukuthi uyangithanda—futhi lokho kungase kube isifundo esikhulu kunazo zonke angifundise sona.

U-Abigail Libers ungumbhali ozimele ohlala eBrooklyn. Ungumqambi futhi ungumhleli we-Notes on Ubaba, indawo yabantu yokuhlanganyela izindaba ngobaba.

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