Kungani Izingxoxo Zingahambi Kahle nokuthi Zilungiswa Kanjani

-Delile

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Ukucela iphromoshini kumphathi, ukukhuluma ngodaba olukhulu lobudlelwano, noma ukutshela umngane wakho ozibandakanya kakhulu ukuthi uzizwa unganakiwe. Uzizwe uthuthumela kancane ngisho ucabanga ngalokhu kuhlangana? Lokho kuvamile, kusho uRob Kendall, umbhali wencwadi entsha I-Blamestorming: Kungani Izingxoxo Zingahambi Kahle nokuthi Zilungiswa Kanjani. Ngisho nama-convos akhohlisayo angenzeka ngomdlalo omncane-futhi ama-tweaks ambalwa alula angaholela emiphumeleni emikhulu. Lapha, amaqhinga amane alula ongawasebenzisa kunoma iyiphi inkulumo.

Kwenzeni Ubuso Nobuso

Yebo, i-imeyili ilula kunokuhlangana mathupha, kodwa futhi iyindlela elula yokudala ukungaqondi kahle, kuxwayisa u-Kendall. Uma uqinisekile ukuthi isihloko sizoxabana - noma sinamathele ezingxoxweni ezingaphakathi komuntu, lapho ithoni, ukukhuluma komzimba, nesimo sobuso konke kungasiza ukudlulisa ngqo okushoyo.

Thola Isikhathi Nendawo

Kuma-convos akhohlisayo, i-legwork encane ingahamba ibanga elide ekutholeni imiphumela oyifunayo. Ukukhuluma nomphathi wakho mayelana nephromoshini? Thatha amaviki ambalwa ukuqalisa uhlelo lwakhe. Ingabe ufika ngaphambi kwesikhathi ehhovisi noma ukhetha ukuhlala kuze kuhambe abanye abantu? Ingabe usesimweni esihle sengqondo ngaphambi noma ngemva kwesidlo sasemini? Uhlala nini ezinzwaneni ngoba umphathi wakhe uyamdinga ngenkulumo? Ngokuthola umgqigqo wakhe, ungahlelela umhlangano ngesinye sezikhathi lapho ezokwazi ukwamukela khona ukubuza kwakho, kusho uKendall. Futhi okufanayo kuya kumfana wakho, abangane bakho, noma umama wakho. Uma wazi ukuthi othile akasona isikhova sasebusuku, ungambizi lowo muntu ngemuva kwehora lesishiyagalolunye uma unokuthile okubalulekile okufanele ukuxoxe ngakho.

Shayela Isikhathi Njalo Njalo

"Noma uqala ingxoxo ngezinhloso ezinhle, izinto zingonakala," kuxwayisa uKendall. Kepha esikhundleni sokubuka ingxoxo njengokuhluleka ngokuphelele, uKendall ukhuthaza ukubiza isikhathi lapho uzwa ukuthi imizwa yakho-noma yomlingani wakho wengxoxo iyakhula. "Ukuthatha ikhefu lemizuzu emihlanu kunikhipha nobabili ekushiseni kwengxoxo, futhi kunganinika isikhathi sokucabanga ukuthi omunye umuntu uvelaphi," kusho uKendall.

Qala iNdlela Efanele

Yebo ucasulwe umngane wakho ongenangqondo ngokukhansela njalo ngomzuzu wokugcina, kodwa qala ingxoxo ngokumtshela ukuthi nijabula kangakanani lapho nihlangene, noma uveze isibonelo sakamuva sesikhathi engazange akhulume ngaso. Ngemva kwalokho, chaza ukuthi uzizwa kanjani lapho ethuka, futhi ubuze ukuthi kukhona yini ongakwenza ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi akwenzeki. "Uma uqala nge-negative, omunye umuntu uzozivikela ngokushesha, futhi mancane amathuba okuthi ezwe ukukhathazeka kwakho," kuchaza uKendall.

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