Nakhu ukuthi Imithombo Yezokuxhumana Ithinta Kanjani Ukulindela Abazali Namuhla

-Delile

• I-reel yokuqokomisa engapheli
• Omama bayatshela kwangempela izindaba ezinkundleni zokuxhumana
• Amathiphu wokugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo nabezindaba zenhlalo
• Ukudla okudlela endlini

Amaqembu akwi-inthanethi nama-akhawunti anganikeza ukusekelwa okuwusizo, kepha futhi kungadala okulindelwe okungenangqondo mayelana nokuthi ukukhulelwa noma ukuba ngumzali kunjani.

Umfanekiso ka-Alyssa Kiefer

Ah, Imithombo yezokuxhumana. Sonke siyayisebenzisa - noma okungenani iningi lethu liyayisebenzisa.

Okuphakelayo kwethu kugcwele okuthunyelwe ngabangane bethu, ama-meme, amavidiyo, izindaba, izikhangiso, nabashukumisayo. Yonke i-algorithm yezokuxhumana izama ukusebenzisa umlingo wayo ukusikhombisa lokho abacabanga ukuthi sikufuna. Futhi kwesinye isikhathi bakuthola kahle. Ngezinye izikhathi, noma kunjalo, azenzi.

I-reel yokuqokomisa engapheli

Kubazali abalindele, imithombo yezokuxhumana ingaba yinkemba esika nhlangothi zombili. Kungaba ngumthombo omangalisayo wokujoyina amaqembu obuzali noma ukulandela ama-akhawunti ngolwazi oluhlobene nokukhulelwa, kepha futhi kungadala okulindelwe okungenangqondo mayelana nokuthi ukukhulelwa noma ukuba ngumzali kunjani.

"Ngicabanga ukuthi inobuthi obukhulu" kusho uMolly Miller, ongumama ozayo. "Ngicabanga ukuthi uma usezinkundleni zokuxhumana ngaso sonke isikhathi uvele ukhathazeke kakhulu ngalokho okwenziwa ngabantu bese uziqhathanisa futhi kukhulu kakhulu."

Sonke siyakuzwa lokhu. Sisizwile isisho esithi ezokuxhumana ziyinto nje yokugqamisa, ebonisa kuphela izikhathi ezenziwe kahle abantu abafuna sizibone. Akukhombisi isithombe esigcwele sempilo - okungasinika umuzwa osontekile wokuthi impilo zabanye abantu zinjani.

Uma kukhulunywa ngokukhulelwa nokuba ngumzali, imithombo yezokuxhumana ingangeza olunye ungqimba lokukhathazeka njengoba abazali bezama ukuthola indlela yokuzinakekela kangcono bona nezingane zabo. Ukubona izithombe ezingapheli zezithombe zabazali abasha nezinsana zabo kungenza kube sengathi kunokuthile okuhle ongakufinyeleli, kanti akunjalo ngempela.

“Angicabangi ukuthi kungokoqobo. Izikhathi eziningi osaziwayo bathumela mayelana nokukhulelwa kwabo. Anginaye umuntu oziqeqeshela yena, anginaye umpheki ekhaya ongenzela konke lokhu kudla okunomsoco, ”kusho uMiller.

Le mibono engenangqondo ize yafundwa ngabaphenyi base-United Kingdom. UJoanne Mayoh, PhD, uthisha omkhulu kwezemidlalo nokuzivocavoca kwezempilo eBournemouth University, usanda kushicilela ucwaningo olungena ezindlekweni zokuxhumana ukuthi lokhu kuzwakalisa kanjani lokhu okulindelwe ngabesifazane abakhulelwe.

“I-Instagram ikhiqiza izithombe ezithandanayo, ikakhulukazi zemizimba. … Luhlobo olulodwa lomzimba, kungowesifazane omhlophe omncane ebhishi owenza i-yoga, ephuza i-smoothie, "kusho uMayoh.

Ocwaningweni lwakhe, uMayoh uthole ukuthi okuthunyelwe okuningi kuzama ukukhombisa ifayili le-
“Ukukhulelwa okuphelele” ngokukhombisa imikhiqizo kanokusho nezithombe ezihlungiwe zezisu zabo ezikhulelwe. Ucwaningo lwakhe luthole ukuthi okuthunyelwe kuvame ukungabi nokwehlukahluka, kushiya ngaphandle amazwi abantu bebala namalungu omphakathi we-LGBTQIA +.

Ngokulindela omama abanjengoMiller, lokhu okutholakele akuyona yonke into emangazayo. Kulula kakhulu ukuthola lezi zingqikithi kokuphakelayo kwakho, okungadala ukukhathazeka okukhulu kubazali abasha.

"Nginomuzwa wokuthi izikhathi eziningi ku-Instagram abantu bazophatha izingane zabo njengezinto zokwenzelwa kunokuba babhekane nomuntu wangempela okufanele bamnakekele," kusho uMiller.

Omama bayatshela kwangempela izindaba ezinkundleni zokuxhumana

Ngenkathi enza ucwaningo, uMayoh wathola ukunyakaza kwabesifazane abazama ukushintsha ukulandisa kwezokuxhumana okuzungeze ukukhulelwa.

“Bekucishe kufane nokudubuleka - abesifazane besebenzisa i-Instagram njengesikhala sokuphinda basebenze futhi baphinde bakhiqize umqondo ovelele ukukhombisa izithombe ezicace bha nezisobala zokukhulelwa nokubeletha. [Bengifuna] ukuphonsela inselelo umbono wokuthi [ukukhulelwa] kuyinto ecwebezelayo, ekhazimulayo, nesipiliyoni esihle, ”kusho uMayoh.

Vele sonke sijabule ukuzwa ngabesifazane abaqinile abeza ndawonye ukwenza okujwayelekile kwangempela izikhathi zokukhulelwa - kepha abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuthi abesifazane bathumela lezi zikhathi eziluhlaza ukukhulisa amaphrofayili abo enhlalo nokuthola ukuthandwa online.

"Ngabe bathumela ngempela ukusiza abanye abantu noma bathumela ukuthandwa nodumo?" kubuza uMiller.

Yebo, ngokusho kukaMayoh, noma ngabe abesifazane kukhona ukuthumela ukuthandwa nodumo, empeleni akuyona into enkulu. “Akunandaba ngoba kwabelwana ngakho. Kumele sikhulume ngokudangala kwangemva kokubeletha, futhi kufanele sikhulume ngokuphuphuma kwesisu, futhi kumele sikhulume ngokuzalwa okuhlukumezayo, futhi noma yini ekhuthaza abesifazane ukuthi bakhulume ngayo leyo yinto enhle impela futhi ikujwayele, ”usho kanje.

Amathiphu wokugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo nabezindaba zenhlalo

Yize kungahle kube lula ukushiwo kunokukwenza, uMayoh uthi iqhinga lokusebenzisa imithombo yezokuxhumana ngendlela enempilo ukuqinisekisa ukuthi unciphisa okuphakelayo kwakho ukufaka okuqukethwe okukwenza uzizwe umuhle ngawe nangokukhulelwa kwakho.

Nawa amanye amathiphu, ngokwengxenye avela kuNational Alliance on Mental Illness, yokonga okuphakelayo kwakho nokugcina ubudlelwano obunempilo nemithombo yezokuxhumana:

• Thatha isinyathelo emuva ubheke ama-akhawunti owalandelayo nokuthi akwenze uzizwe kanjani.
• Gwema ukugcwalisa izifunzo zakho ngokuphelele ngokukhulelwa “okunesithombe” nokukhulelwa.
• Zama ukufaka ama-akhawunti akhombisa ukuthi kuyini ukukhulelwa nokuba ngumzali ngempela njenge. (Ukusikisela: Sithanda @hlparenthood).
• Zizwe unamandla okuyeka ukulandela noma ukuthulisa ama-akhawunti angakusebenzeli njengamanje.
• Cabanga ukunciphisa isikhathi sakho osichitha kuzinkundla zokuxhumana noma uthathe ikhefu kubo ngokuphelele.

Ukudla okudlela endlini

Izinkundla zokuxhumana zidume kabi ngokusenza siziqhathanise nabanye. Kubazali abasha nabalindele, lokhu kungaba ngumthombo wokucindezeleka okungeziwe okungadingekile ngesikhathi esivele sinengcindezi.

Uma uqala ukuzwa sengathi imithombo yezokuxhumana iphazamisa ukuzethemba kwakho noma injabulo ephelele, kungaba umqondo omuhle ukuthatha isinyathelo emuva wenze ushintsho kokuphakelayo noma imikhuba yakho yezenhlalo.

Kungakucindezela ekuqaleni, kepha ukwenza izinguquko ezifanele kungakusiza uthole ukukhululeka futhi uqale ukwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo nabezindaba zenhlalo futhi - okubaluleke kakhulu - ngokwakho.

Igama lishintshiwe uma ucela ukungaziwa