Ama-ProDommes ama-4 Abelana Ngokuqondile Ukuthi Kanjani Ukuba Yi-Dominatrix IRL

-Delile

• Iyini iDominatrix, Ngokuqondile?
• Ngubani Oya ku-Professional Dominatrix?
• Izinzuzo Zokusebenza neDominatrix
• Yini iSeshini eneProfessional Dominatrix?
• Ukuba yiDominatrix Kuthatha (Unamakhono!) Umsebenzi
• Kunjani Ukuba yi-Dominatrix?
• Buyekeza kwe-

Ukuthandwa kwe-I-Euphoria futhiUkuhlanganisa, imibukiso emibili ye-TV efaka i-Dominatrix njengabalingiswa abaphambili-uKat Hernandez noTiff Chester, ngokulandelana-basikisela ukuthi abantu bathakazeliswa umqondo weDominatrix.

Ngeshwa, kukhona ukugxeka okubanzi kokuboniswa kokubili kwe-BDSM. Ukukhathazeka okuningi kwezwi ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi uKat usemncane, indima yakhe njengeDominatrix ayinamandla okuzimela. Abanye babuka indlela okungalungile ngayoUkuhlanganisaUkuvezwa kwemvume kanye nemingcele kubudlelwano be-D/s. Futhi yomibili le mibukiso ye-TV isolwa ngokuqhubekisela phambili i-trope enesithukuthezi yokuthi bonke abathengisa ngomzimba bangabantu abasinda ekuhlukumezeni (imvamisa ezocansi).

Kungakho "ungeke uthembele kulokho okubonile kwabezindaba ngeDominatrix ukuqonda ukuthi yini esiyenzayo, kungani siyenza, singobani, noma ukuthi imikhuba ephephile ye-BDSM ibukeka kanjani," kusho u-Andre Shakti, uchwepheshe waseDominatrix, uthisha wezocansi, kanye nomqeqeshi wokusondelana.

Unalokho engqondweni, uShakti nabanye oDominatrices abathathu abaqeqeshiwe babelana ngokuthi empeleni iDominatrix injani. Lapha, bachaza ukuthi yini iDominatrix ngempela ukuthi, yiziphi izinhlobo zezinto abangazenza neklayenti, ukuthi iseshini ibukeka kanjani, nokuthi kuthinta kanjani izimpilo zabo ezingezona ezobuchwepheshe.

Iyini iDominatrix, Ngokuqondile?

Umngane wethu omuhle uMerriam Webster uchaza i-Dominatrix ngokuthi "owesifazane obusa ngokomzimba noma ngokwengqondo umlingani wakhe ekuhlanganeni kwe-sadomasochistic." (Futhi, yebo, ihlale ibhalwe ngosonhlamvukazi, njengokuvuma ngekhanda ku-dynamics yamandla ehilelekile.)

Le ncazelo inembe ngokunembe kakhudlwana, kuchaza uSwell Cat, owesifazane odlulayo okhanyisa inyanga njengomuntu osebenza ngocansi online kanye neDominatrix, ephawula abantu abaningi abangakhethi kanambambili, abesilisa nabesifazane, noma abantu abahambisana nabesifazane abakhomba njengamaDominatrices.

Kepha uma ungazi ukuthi "ukuhlangana nge-sadomasochistic" kuyini, leyo ncazelo isiza njengokushaya iGoogle ukuthola ukuthi unaso yini isifo socansi. Ukuhlangana kwe-sadomasochistic "lapho othile ethatha indima yokuzithoba ngenkathi ehlola i-kink ne-BDSM," kuchaza u-Shakti. (Uma udinga ukuvuselelwa ku-BDSM, funda ngokushesha kule BDSM Beginner Guide ngokushesha okukhulu, bese ubuyela lapha.)

Kubalulekile ukusho ukuthi kunomehluko phakathi kwendlela yokuphila yaseDominatrix neDominatrix yobungcweti, kusho uLola Jean, uDominatrix nomfundisi wezocansi. Abanye abantu bafuna ukuthatha indima ephambili 24/7—okusho ukuthi, banothile obasebenzelayo ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngisho nangaphandle kwegumbi lokulala noma ijele. Lawa ngamaDominatrices okuphila.

Kwabanye, njengalabo okwaxoxwa nabo ngale ndatshana, ukuba yiDominatrix kuyindima yezobuchwepheshe. "Uma unguchwepheshe, uyakwazi ukubusa ngaphakathi komongo wekink noma we-BDSM," kuchaza uShakti. "Abantu beza kuwe befuna lelo khono, bese kuba nokuthengiselana ngemali. Umsebenzi wezocansi."

Nokho, nakuba “i-Dominatrix kuyigama ozolibona kaningi emithonjeni yezindaba, ngokuvamile akulona igama elisetshenziswa abantu abaningi,” kusho uJean. Esikhundleni sokukhomba njenge-"Dominatrix," abantu abaningi basebenzisa igama elithi Domme noma i-Dom. Noma i-ProDomme / ProDomme uma bengochwepheshe. (Okunye kwalesi sihloko kugxile ku-ProDommes.)

Ngubani Oya ku-Professional Dominatrix?

Yazi lokhu: Akunakho eyodwa uhlobo lweklayenti. Abantu bayo yonke iminyaka, ubulili, ukuqondiswa, nezinhlanga bangakhetha ukuqasha iProDomme. (Noma kufanelekile ukusho lokho ngoba iningi lamaProDommes likhokhisa phakathi kuka- $ 200 no- $ 400 ngehora, amaklayenti amaningi aphakathi nendawo noma aphezulu).

"Amakhasimende ami agijima umdlalo osuka kuma-CEO asezingeni eliphezulu, odokotela abahlinzayo, nabameli ukuya emibhangqwaneni, abesifazane abangamazi, ama-trans folks, nabantu abaluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka abafuna ukuhlola nokwandisa ubulili babo, ukuzithoba, kanye nokuxhumana kwabo okuyiqiniso," kusho u-Ashley Paige, uDominatrix osezingeni eliphezulu wase-NYC.

Izinzuzo Zokusebenza neDominatrix

Uzibuza ukuthi kungani umuntu engaqasha iDominatrix? Izizathu ezahlukahlukene. "Abanye abantu bayasifuna ngoba babone 'ama-Fifty Shades of Grey' futhi banesifiso sokuzama i-BDSM okokuqala," kusho uShakti. Ngokubona kwakhe, "ukuqasha uchwepheshe kungenye yezindlela ezinhle kakhulu nephephe kakhulu ukuqala ukuhlola i-BDSM, kinks, noma fetish." Lokho kungenxa yokuthi kunezindlela eziphephile(r) zokwenza izinto ezinjengokubhaxabula, ukubhaxabula, ukuklinya, noma ukushaya othile ngempama—konke lokhu ochwepheshe abakwaziyo, kodwa uzakwethu engakwazi. Futhi, uchwepheshe uyakwazi ukudala lokho uJean akubiza ngokuthi, "indawo ephephile engekho ngokomzimba yokuhlola izifiso zakho," ngendlela umlingani (ikakhulukazi umlingani ongathandani kangako) angakwazi ukwenza ngayo.

Abanye abantu bafuna i-ProDommes ukuze badlale inganekwane ethile. Kwesinye isikhathi amakhasimende azobe ebhale umbhalo ogcwele onemigqa eqondile afuna ngiyisho endaweni yesigameko,” kusho uShakti. Noma, bangacela isenzo socansi esithile. Endabeni yokugcina, amaklayenti azoqasha uchwepheshe ngokukhethekile kuleso senzo (yep, iProDommes inokukhethekile). I-Paige, ngokwesibonelo, igxile ku- "sadomasochism, modifying behaviour, ukubusa okuqinile kwezinkanuko, ukudlala ngomthelela, nokujezisa ngokubambisana, ukudlala i-electro, ukudlala umzimba okushayayo, ukushaya phansi, ukudlala okuyisisekelo, ukuqeqeshwa okugcwele endlini yangasese, ukuncishwa kwemizwa nokugcwala ngokweqile, ukuqeqeshwa kwezigqila , ne-tantric kink egxile emsebenzini wokuphefumula naku-catharsis ... ukubala ezimbalwa. " Okunye okukhethekile kufaka phakathi udoti, ukudla, ukuqhuma, ukukhathaza ukukhathazeka, ukudlala imizwa, ukuthotshiswa, ukuhlushwa kwezingono, ukudlala kwezokwelapha, iqhude kanye nokuhlukunyezwa kwebhola, ukuhlushwa kwezingono, ukudlala ngomthelela, nokukhonkotha. (Ukuze uthole okwengeziwe ~ all this~, ungase ufune ukuhlola Umhlahlandlela Wokugcina kuKink nguTristan Taormino noBarbara Carrellas noma Ukuhlaziya i-Kink Yakho nguGalen Fous.)

I-ICYWW, amaklayenti awadingi ukwazi kahle ukuthi afuna ukuzama ini ngaphambi kokufinyelela ku-ProDomme — uchwepheshe angakusiza ukuthole lokho. "Uma umuntu engazi ukuthi ufuna ukuzama ini, sizokhuluma ngento yokugcina ayishaya indlwabu, ukuthi iyiphi i-porn ayithandayo, ukuthi yini ayicabangayo, nokuthi yini afuna ukuyizwa ngesikhathi / ngemuva kweseshini," kusho uJean . "Ngizosebenzisa lolo lwazi bese ngiphakamisa izenzo engicabanga ukuthi zingahambisana nalokho, bese sikhuluma ngakho." (FYI, lawa amaphupho ocansi ajwayeleke kakhulu.)

Yini iSeshini eneProfessional Dominatrix?

Imvamisa, ukushintshana phakathi kweProDomme neklayenti kuzoqala lapho iklayenti le-googles iDominatrix endaweni yabo futhi lixhumana ne-Domme abacabanga ukuthi kungalunga kahle. Ngemuva kwalokho, bobabili bazoxoxa (nge-imeyili, ifoni, noma imithombo yezokuxhumana) ngalokho iklayenti elikufunayo; uma kungena kahle, bazokwenza i-aphoyintimenti. Uma kungenjalo, i-Domme imvamisa iyakwazi ukuxhuma iklayenti nochwepheshe ongahle alunge kangcono, kusho uShakti.

Ngemuva kwalokho, ngokujwayelekile bazovumelana ngendawo nomhlangano. “Izikhathi eziningi zenzeka egunjini lasehhotela noma emgodini wezohwebo lapho kunamakamelo amancane amaningi,” kusho uJean. Amanye ama-Dommes azoya endlini yekhasimende ukuze akhokhelwe, kodwa ngokuvamile kuphela uma eke wasebenza ndawonye ngaphambili, "kusho yena (ngoba, ukuphepha).

Imizuzu yokuqala emi-5 kuye kweyi-15 yeseshini ifaka ukukhuluma nje nokukhululeka omunye nomunye, ngokusho kukaShakti. "Noma ngabe sesivele sikhulume ngokuzokwenzeka, sizodlula kukho okwesibili. Bese sizokhuluma ngomzimba wabo noma yikuphi ukukhubazeka, ubuhlungu bemisipha, noma izinhlungu ezingaphazamisa esikuhlelayo ukwenza,” kusho yena. "Ngemuva kwalokho, ikhasimende lizongikhokhela, bese singena endaweni yesehlakalo." Isimo esihlala isikhathi eside sizohluka, kepha kuye, imvamisa ihlala imizuzu engama-45 kuye kwengama-50.

Okuthile ongamangala ukukufunda ukuthi, imvamisa, izigcawu azibandakanyi ucansi lokungena. "Yize kunezinto eziningi ezinokuziphatha kocansi njengokushaya isibhakela noma ukudlala indlala yesinye, iningi lamaProfessional Dominatrices alingeni ocansini namakhasimende abo," kusho uPaige.

Ngemuva, "sizochitha imizuzu embalwa sihlola ukuthi bazizwa kanjani," kusho uShakti. Ngemuva kwalokho, uma isikhala sineshawa, iklayenti lingakhetha ukusisebenzisa. “Sibe sesixhawulana futhi sihlukane,” usho kanje.

Amanye amaklayenti anomcabango wokuthi "awudinga" kuphela ukuze aphile kanye. "Abantu abasha kwi-BDSM bavame ukungibhukela izikhathi ezimbalwa ukuze sikwazi ukungena kuyo kancane," kusho uShakti. Abanye abantu banezikhathi zokuma ezivamile nama-ProDommes abo. (Okuhlobene: I-BDSM Isindise Umshado Wami Ohlulekayo Esehlukanisweni)

Ukuba yiDominatrix Kuthatha (Unamakhono!) Umsebenzi

Kunombono oyiphutha wokuthi ukuthengisa ngocansi akuwona umsebenzi "wangempela" (*i-eye roll*), kodwa lokho akunakuba kude neqiniso. “Ukuba yiDominatrix kungaphezu kokucosha isiswebhu bese uthethisa othile,” kusho uPaige. Ukwazi ukuzibandakanya ku-BDSM ngokuphephile kusho ukwazi ukubhaxabula, ukubhaxabula, ukuminyanisa, njll. othile ngaphandle kokubangela ukuhlehlisa (noma okungavunyelwe) ukulimala. “Labo bethu abazimisele ngomsebenzi wethu baya ezingqungqutheleni, bafunde izincwadi, benze ucwaningo, futhi sibe namahora namahora okuzijwayeza ukuze siqinisekise ukuthi wonke umuntu angahamba ephelele futhi engcono kunakuqala—ngisho noma lokho kusho ukuhamba (ngokuvumelana). ukulimazeka noma emibili, "usho kanje.

Ama-Dominatrices nawo adinga amakhono aqine kakhulu wokusebenzisana nabantu. “Kunzima ukukhipha imininingwane kwamanye amaklayenti, futhi udinga ukwazi ukufinyelela phansi kulokho abakufunayo nabakuthandayo ngaphandle kokwenza sengathi udonsa amazinyo,” kusho uShakti. Udinga futhi umuzwa oqinile futhi ukwazi ukukala amandla abantu, "ukuze ubenze bazizwe besekelwa, begunyaziwe futhi bephephile kuso sonke isikhathi," esho. Amaklayenti amaningi angena esimisweni enamahloni amakhulu mayelana nezinto azithandayo noma ukuthambekela kwabo ngokocansi, futhi iProDomme kufanele ibasize bakhule ngaleyo mizwa, futhi, kusho uShakti. (Yingakho abesifazane abaningi kangaka besebenzisa i-BDSM njengendlela yokwelapha.)

O, futhi "kufanele ube yi-ejenti yakho, umphathi, umklami wewebhusayithi, umgqugquzeli, umqambi wezimpawu, umphathi wezokuxhumana, umbhali wamakhophi, nomthwebuli wezithombe / umthwebuli zithombe," uyanezela. Yebo, kunesizathu sokuthi umsebenzi wezocansi ubizwe ngocansiumsebenzi.

Kodwa ungayifundi kabi: Lokho akusho ukuthi wonke ama-Dominatrices aginqa inhlama. "Kunombono oyiphutha wokuthi asinakhaya noma silahla amakhulukhulu, kodwa lokho akulona iqiniso," kusho uShakti. "Baningi abathengisa ngomzimba abasesigabeni esiphakathi."

Kunjani Ukuba yi-Dominatrix?

Impela kwehlukile kuneUkuhlanganisa nomaI-Euphoria kungenzeka ukuthi ukholwe. Okokuqala, le midlalo ingase iphakamise ukuthi ama-ProDommes awakwazi ukuba sebudlelwaneni obunempilo/obunothando. Empeleni, lokho kungamanga. "Iningi lethu liyakwazi ukugcina ubudlelwano ngaphandle komsebenzi wethu!" Kusho uJean. "Yebo, kwesinye isikhathi umsebenzi wethu wenza kube nzima ngoba sidinga ophathina abawuqondayo futhi abasekele umsebenzi wethu, kodwa kungenzeka impela." Ngenkathi kwesinye isikhathi amaProDommes nawo engabaDommes ebudlelwaneni babo bezothando / bezocansi i-IRL, "abanye bangama-switch, bazithoba, noma i-vanilla empilweni yabo yangempela," kunezela uShakti. (Okusho ukuthi, bangase bakhethe ukuyeka ukulawula ngezinye izikhathi noma ngaso sonke isikhathi, noma bakhethe impilo yomuntu siqu yobulili ngaphandle kwe-kink noma i-BDSM.)

Ngaphandle kwalokho, u-Paige wabelana ngokuthi ukuba yi-Professional Dominatrix kuye kwacebisa kakhulu impilo yakhe.“Kungisizile ukuthi ngithole amandla ami nokuba ngingowami ngezindlela eziningi engingazibala,” usho kanje. "Futhi amakhono amaningi kanye nolwazi engiluthole ngokuba yi-Dominatrix, ngikwazile ukukusebenzisa kuzo zonke izici zempilo yami... ngingumuntu ongcono okwazi ukuphila ngokuzimisela okukhulu. impilo ngenxa yokuba yi-Dominatrix." (Kuyiqiniso: Ucansi lwe-Kinky Lungakwenza Ucabange Kakhudlwana.)

Iphuzu eliyinhloko: "Abantu abaningi abanalo ilungelo lokuba qotho ngokuphelele nangokuyiqiniso ngesifiso sabo noma ikuphi empilweni yabo," kusho uPaige. "Ngenkathi, yebo, ukuba yiDominatrix kungafaka yonke imidwebo yeziswebhu nezintambo ozibonayo ku-TV, ngokuthembeka kukhulu ngokuxhumeka, ukuvuma, nokwakha i-catharsis. Okuthile esikudinga kakhulu kuleli zwe elihlanyayo," usho kanje. Kuyiqiniso lokho.

Buyekeza kwe-